Monday Bitchfest- 8.22.16

TexasGal24 · August 2016

I'm just in a crappy mood. Yesterday I just wanted to run away from my husband because just being around him made me want to scream and throw stuff. He wouldn't stop going over our plans for the day. We had two things to do...what exactly is there to discuss about two, very simple, errands?? I've been waiting to hear back from a dream job I applied to so I'm a little stressed about that. Also, I just got off the phone with my sister and everything she was talking about was just irritating to me, when normally she is my best friend.

And wouldn't you know it. My wireless keyboard completely died in the middle of me writing this and how many pairs of reusable batteries did it take for me to find some that worked? THREE. Even though EVERY SINGLE PAIR was charged.

Ladies, I just can't. Not today.

Image: https://img.memecdn.com/every-monday_o_900327.jpg

poetryandoceans · August 2016

My bitchfest has to do with typos. Specifically, typos in important documents. I hate how you spend so much time on a document that, when you review it for errors, your brain just automatically subs the correct word in. And then, after you get some time and distance from the project, you look back and all the little typos you missed when finalized the document just jump right off the fucking page at you.

This thought is brought to you by my review of my thesis as I prepare for my defence. They don't fail you for having "of" where you meant "off" right? And "along" instead of "long"? Because oh my god. Typos in my thesis. They are going to laugh me out of the defence. *breathes into paper bag*

ceclarlinetlo · August 2016

Got my first "are you sure it's not two" comments this weekend.

Edit: typo

emy730 · August 2016

poetryandoceans said:

My bitchfest has to do with typos. Specifically, typos in important documents. I hate how you spend so much time on a document that, when you review it for errors, your brain just automatically subs the correct word in. And then, after you get some time and distance from the project, you look back and all the little typos you missed when finalized the document just jump right off the fucking page at you.

We just signed our will and power of attorney documents. They gave us copies to give to the people we named, so they would have them. I handed one to my brother (my POA if H is deceased or mentally unable), and he goes, "Um, that's not my phone number or my address!" Turns out the attorney (or probably paralegal) just copied and pasted the address and phone number of someone else named in our will.

I'm a little frustrated, but it happens, so I'm not terribly upset. But yes, incredibly frustrating and nerve-wracking!

emy730 · August 2016

My mother is driving me nuts.

My best friend (I've literally known her since I was 1 month old) is getting married in about two months, and they are having a kid-free wedding. My mom asked what DD was going to wear to the wedding, and I said she wasn't coming. Immediately my mom asks, "Why not? Who is watching her?" So I explained they were having a kid free wedding, and that she was staying with my MIL for the evening. She responds with, "Ugh, that's not fair! That's rude not to invite children, I'll just stay home with her. I'm not going to go!"

Well mom, no, no you won't just stay home with her because someone else is already watching her for the evening. And it's not rude because they understand that certain people will not be able to come as a result, but it was going to add almost $1,500 in cost for food and that's money they just don't have since this is a very small wedding and they are paying for it entirely themselves.

She will not let it go. Every single time I mention anything about the wedding, she starts in again. I do not get why she cares so much about something so stupid. I told her that a few people have texted her and said, "Hey thanks for the night off without kids!" and I kind of agree with them. Plus, I wouldn't bring DD to a wedding with even if she was invited. She's two and she would be up in everyone's business.

cabu14 · August 2016

This happened on Friday.. but it's still annoying me.. my MIL infront of the whole family all but demanded to be in the room when I deliver..

First - lets not have this conversation infront of extended family. Second -- This will be my choice with input taken from the husband only. My BIL and FIL were kind of like - umm... maybe she doesn't want you in there. My Husband was like.. your a nurse they probably will get annoyed when you start butting in. I just stayed mostly quiet but the comments from other people just made her argue her position more..

I wanted to be like - this is not a popularity contest.

Honestly I probably wont know who I want next to me until it happens so cool your jets. It might be nice to have her there so she can explain something to me if need be.. but who the hell knows right now. I'm 17 weeks pregnant - we have time to think about this!!

stumptownmama · August 2016

Let's take our toddler camping for the first time, we said. It will be fun, we said.

Nope.

DD screamed and/or jumped on us all night. No one slept. We were supposed to stay two nights, but we packed it up this morning and drove home. Big fat fail.

cabu14 · August 2016

@underthesea bummer!! Were you in a tent or camper?

stumptownmama · August 2016

@cabu14 we were in a yurt. They are like canvas walled cabins. They have bunk beds. Some have electricity and can be pretty elegant. Ours was pretty rustic and basic this time. They are super awesome!

canavara · August 2016

Ooh can I go? This happened Saturday but part of it happened today.

My company announced last month that they were doing mass-layoffs. Like 25-30% of the company cut, so about 25-30 people losing their jobs. They were supposed to schedule meetings with anyone laid off this morning and do the layoffs then.

About 12 people from our engineering team went to a conference this past week/end. On Saturday, while a bunch of people were at lunch, someone was like, "Um, I just got a huge deposit in my bank for over $6,000. It's not pay day yet though and this is double my normal bi-weekly pay..."

It turns out someone screwed up scheduling everyone's severance pay. People found out that they were being laid off by getting severance pay checks before having a manager or exec schedule any call with them. As a result, all of the people responsible for doing the layoffs had to quickly schedule the layoff calls on a Saturday. 4 people at the conference with us lost their jobs and it made everything SO awkward basically having to permanently say "goodbye" before they had even been formally laid off.

Today they actually did all of the lay-offs. My manager was laid off (fortunately for him, he already had another job lined up!) but I had to spend all day twiddling my fingers awkwardly not knowing what to do because uh... who do I report to now.... awkward.

ETA: Also now that this has happened, my company is like... being scrutinized by news outlets as being "in trouble". Womp womp. https://www.edsurge.com/news/2016-08-22-coding-startup-treehouse-trims-staff-to-cross-the-chasm-to-profitability

karaelaine1991 · August 2016

canavara said:

Ooh can I go? This happened Saturday but part of it happened today.

My company announced last month that they were doing mass-layoffs. Like 25-30% of the company cut, so about 25-30 people losing their jobs. They were supposed to schedule meetings with anyone laid off this morning and do the layoffs then.

About 12 people from our engineering team went to a conference this past week/end. On Saturday, while a bunch of people were at lunch, someone was like, "Um, I just got a huge deposit in my bank for over $6,000. It's not pay day yet though and this is double my normal bi-weekly pay..."

It turns out someone screwed up scheduling everyone's severance pay. People found out that they were being laid off by getting severance pay checks before having a manager or exec schedule any call with them. As a result, all of the people responsible for doing the layoffs had to quickly schedule the layoff calls on a Saturday. 4 people at the conference with us lost their jobs and it made everything SO awkward basically having to permanently say "goodbye" before they had even been formally laid off.

Today they actually did all of the lay-offs. My manager was laid off (fortunately for him, he already had another job lined up!) but I had to spend all day twiddling my fingers awkwardly not knowing what to do because uh... who do I report to now.... awkward.

ETA: Also now that this has happened, my company is like... being scrutinized by news outlets as being "in trouble". Womp womp. https://www.edsurge.com/news/2016-08-22-coding-startup-treehouse-trims-staff-to-cross-the-chasm-to-profitability

Geez Louise. That sounds like a PR/HR nightmare. And those poor people! What an awful way to find out!

ceclarlinetlo · August 2016

@canavara yikes! What a disaster! Those poor employees.

sagoon · August 2016

My son has some horrible stomach bug and it has been a nonstop vomit-fest for the last 24 hours. We had to buy a new car seat because one of them is beyond recovery. I am terrified that I will catch this bug. Being sick while pregnant is the worst and I definitely don't want to end up in the ER with dehydration or something.

amaren-2 · August 2016

I work for a non profit and we have a board of directors, one of the board members who was the venture capitalist who helped us start the organization wanted to have a meeting with IT team. It was sold to the IT team as a "get to know you" bu let's be honest, he wanted to see what half of the admin budget was going to. I was a waste of three hours of the teams time. The team should have been there for Intros and let the managers tell more about their teams. By the end of it I was so annoyed that half of my day was gone.

ashanne88 · August 2016

@underthesea The first night camping with a toddler is terrible, horrible, no sleep and constantly being attacked by the toddler. The second night is kind of rough, but better. Every night after that is pretty good. The only problem we have is DS won't be in the tent by himself when it's dark so he stays up later than normal and we have to go to bed a little earlier. All this to say, don't give up! I know how you feel but they really do get better at it, in my limited experience.

stumptownmama · August 2016

That's encouraging @ashanne88. I just didn't have the willpower to attempt a second night this time. We will try again but probably not while I'm pregnant.

stumptownmama · August 2016

@canavara that's pretty bad. I can't imagine how those employees must have felt.

@sagoon I feel for you. Hoping you can escape the bug.

ashanne88 · August 2016

underthesea said:

That's encouraging @ashanne88. I just didn't have the willpower to attempt a second night this time. We will try again but probably not while I'm pregnant.

I wouldn't have been able to handle it pregnant either!

canavara · August 2016

@underthesea I think a lot of them were angry. I wasn't there at the restaurant when the people at the conference found out, but exploring a museum on my own... we had a group chat going on and one of them shared something like "At Bill's Bar drinking to celebrate our freedom, join in if you want"--I obviously couldn't truly join them in the drinking but I told them I'd stop by and when I did, they had segmented the bar booth up into "fired" and "not fired" and were jokingly telling people to sit on the appropriate side as they came in to join.

They announced it a month ago that they were doing the layoffs so pretty much everyone has been kind of acknowledging the reality that it might be them... even though I had some key people tell me that I'd likely not be affected, I was even super paranoid about it until Saturday!

Teach123 · August 2016

I'm a teacher, and today was our fourth day of school. If any of you are teachers or in education, you know how stressful the first few weeks of a new year are. There are s million things to do and never enough time to do them in. After the first month or so, you get into much more of a routine and things get easier.

Well, I am rushing around to get ready and leave this morning because all I can think about is the list of things I need to get done before the kids get there. My husband gets all this attitude with me about why am I leaving so early. (It was only about 10 minutes before my normal time. I felt like I was running late because I probably should have left about 30 minutes earlier with everything I had to do.)

I asked if there was something he needed me to do before I left. He continued with the terrible attitude and was like no just go. I jumped on him telling him this was nothing new. It's like this every year. I have a million things to do and the last thing I need is an attitude from him during the most stressful time of the year. I again asked if he needed something from me before I left. He said no and started pouting.

I'm sure he was mad because he had to get our 3 year old ready for daycare by himself. I don't know why he picked this morning to be mad about it though because that's always his job during the school year. He has no set time he has to be at work, and he actually works fewer hours than me during the week.

Oh, and he also lost his wedding ring yesterday, which I said not a word about but that hacks me off too.

Emma61210 · August 2016

My turn! my mother.... I just cannot with her today...

so my parents live 12 hours away. She announced a month or so ago that she is going to stay 3 months after the baby is born. Which is totally fine with us. Her sister and all the rest of our family live here and she can stay with different people throughout that time. However my parents were visiting last week and we told my mom she was welcome to stay with us 2 weeks after the baby was born and then we would see how things were going. meaning -- we are new at this and may need her longer OR it may be time that we do this on our own and she will still be 20 min away no matter who she stays with if we need her.

she has blown it entirely out of proportion and has now said she will be staying 2 weeks and then going home. She took it as after 2 weeks we are going to decide if she is on our nerves or not.. Which that's not even the case it has nothing to do with her. It upset me because if I need her she would be 12 hours away instead of 20 minutes. Now my dads mad because "I upset her" and it's just stupid drama!! I know it will blow over but this whole thing was ridiculous for her to get mad about.

hjmorgan-2 · August 2016

Emma61210 said:

My turn! my mother.... I just cannot with her today...

so my parents live 12 hours away. She announced a month or so ago that she is going to stay 3 months after the baby is born. Which is totally fine with us. Her sister and all the rest of our family live here and she can stay with different people throughout that time. However my parents were visiting last week and we told my mom she was welcome to stay with us 2 weeks after the baby was born and then we would see how things were going. meaning -- we are new at this and may need her longer OR it may be time that we do this on our own and she will still be 20 min away no matter who she stays with if we need her.

she has blown it entirely out of proportion and has now said she will be staying 2 weeks and then going home. She took it as after 2 weeks we are going to decide if she is on our nerves or not.. Which that's not even the case it has nothing to do with her. It upset me because if I need her she would be 12 hours away instead of 20 minutes. Now my dads mad because "I upset her" and it's just stupid drama!! I know it will blow over but this whole thing was ridiculous for her to get mad about.

Oh my goodness!! That's So ridiculous! ! Why do family members insist on making things about THEM?? I'm sorry. ):

karaelaine1991 · August 2016

I adore being a young mom (currently 24) and I'm doing exactly what I've always wanted to do with my life. That being said...

Sometimes, it sucks. My friends from college are SO not at the same place in their lives as I am - most of them don't even have boyfriends, let alone a husband, a toddler, and a new baby on the way - and I totally respect that they've made that choice and I'm so happy that they're as happy with where they are as I am. But it does suck that we're not on the same page anymore. They invited us to go to a party Labor Day weekend, and if it were just hang out and grilling with a couple beers, I would be all for it, but they're starting the party at 3,complete with purple drank and Mad Dog 20/20 like we used to in college. They're voting on themes, debating on whether it should be a "stoplight party" or "ABC (anything but clothes)" or a few other similar options. I can't take my 1 year old to that! And I appreciate that they're making the effort to reach out, but every time they do, it's either something along these lines, or to go bar hopping until 2am, neither of which have any place in my life anymore. It just really sucks that there's so much distance between myself and these people who were a HUGE part of my life for 4 years. We're not on the same page anymore, and like I said, I completely respect their right to not be where I am, but I really wish someone was. I have made mom friends, but they're all in the 30s and also not really in the same place as I am simply because of the age difference. Being a young mom can be really isolating sometimes.

MaryNog · August 2016

@Emma61210 oh goodness I'm so sorry that you're going through this! Moms/in-laws seem to get so emotionally frail when we're pregnant...it's almost like all the good work we did in our 20s to establish a functional adult relationship has gone down the drain.
we had the exact same conversation with my mom: she offered to stay 5-6 months, we asked her to stay for 2 for sure, and then we will evaluate where we are. Seems to have gone ok, but it's too early to tell. we'll see how many times this issue comes up from now until January!

tsaunders85 · August 2016

I have been on medical restrictions for my entire pregnancy and am not allowed to lift/push/pull anything over 10 pounds. I struggled with infertility and we did fertility treatments so my doctor is very cautious about something happening, especially since i am an emergency room nurse and have a very physical job. I just found out a co-worker on my same shift is going on medical restrictions due to her knee and there is only one role that accommodates the restrictions. So now we have to both share the role and work opposite each other... Which is fine, except for one big day. She refuses to work the day of my baby shower because she has a bachelorette party to go to. This is the only day that will work for the baby shower due to my step brothers wedding and my husbands work schedule. I am absolutely heart broken and just want to cry. This is a very important event for us since it will more then likely be our only child, but she doesn't seem to care. Other then asking management for PTO for the week I don't know what to do and I don't want to use my time off because i need that for maternity leave.

nolemama24 · August 2016

@karaelaine1991 ugh do you live in Tampa by any chance? Lol! I'm in the same boat as you! I am 23 & my undergrad years were the so great! I made so many amazing friends and memories. I am the first of my girlfriends getting married and also having a baby. A few of them are engaged, so we have that in common, but I can't help but think about how different it might be. I know I will try my hardest to attend as many of our get togethers as as possible. Maybe when my fiancée and I look to have a second, one of them will be on their first? Who knows! It would be nice to make some mom friends (I have 0!)

canavara · August 2016

@Emma61210 Okay yeah that's nuts. It sounds like your dad is being kind of the in-between person--maybe clarifying to him your feelings so he can calm down your mom (even though you say he's upset too)? I'm curious, for all of you that have moms that are staying for months--are they retired? I just can't even fathom having my mom around for more than a few days. I love her but I am just way too particular about how things have to be done to even consider wanting her help. Just thinking about it is stressful.

nolemomma14 · August 2016

@karaelaine1991 @nolemama24 I'm in a similar position. I'm 26 with our 2nd on the way. I'm the only one out of my friends who has kids, a few are getting engaged but that's about it. It's definitely hard to find a balance between everything, but we just go to as many things as we can bring our son to. Parties aren't really an option unless we get a sitter, which we do every once in a while, but otherwise we try and find things we can do together. Football season starts soon, thank goodness! We bring our son to friends houses for games, or restaurants. I do feel like I'm in between where my friends are, and where the moms that I've met are. They're typically older, but I find it kind of nice that they see me as a younger sister so it's like our kids are growing up together as cousins! Nolemomma I'm from your area and it can be very lonely when you don't know other moms, but I have found some great moms groups in the area that has allowed me to find a great group of moms. The first 6 months my son was born was super lonely until I got out there and mingled! Feel free to message me if you want any info on some of the moms groups I've come across in the area!

MaryNog · August 2016

@canavara for me its partly a cultural thing, we're Brazilian and it's pretty common for moms to spend several months helping with the newborn grandchildren.

My mom and I get along really well, thankfully. Our deal (which will hopefully hold) is that she'll take care of the house while I learn to deal with the baby. I'm usually pretty set in my ways too, but I think I'll be too exhausted and overwhelmed to really care.

karaelaine1991 · August 2016

nolemama24 said:

@karaelaine1991 ugh do you live in Tampa by any chance? Lol! I'm in the same boat as you! I am 23 & my undergrad years were the so great! I made so many amazing friends and memories. I am the first of my girlfriends getting married and also having a baby. A few of them are engaged, so we have that in common, but I can't help but think about how different it might be. I know I will try my hardest to attend as many of our get togethers as as possible. Maybe when my fiancée and I look to have a second, one of them will be on their first? Who knows! It would be nice to make some mom friends (I have 0!)

Unfortunately I live up in the Pittsburgh area

the mom friends that I do have I found through my mom group that I joined on Facebook/meet up (I found their group's business card at my OB office last pregnancy, which made me feel less weird about using meet up). It has been super helpful because the other moms in the group are so nice and it does give me an opportunity to get out of the house with DD; I just have a hard time relating to them because they're all 10+years older than me. I feel super shallow for admitting this because it's usually so not like me to be materialistic, but because they all had at least a decade of full time work under their belts before having kids, they all live in gorgeous houses and are clearly staying home while their husbands bring home 6 figure salaries. I stay at home, too, but my husband's just starting out in his field and is nowhere near that salary range yet, so we do make a lot of sacrifices in order to afford for me to be at home with DD. Again, totally my/our choice to be living simply, we feel that it's worth it, and I usually am completely content, but when I'm around my mom friends I really struggle with feeling like I need to "keep up with the Joneses," which I feel super guilty about. Very frustrating! Obviously these are all very much self imposed feelings, but I wish I didn't have them!

Teach123 · August 2016

I have the opposite problem as @karaelaine1991 I'm an older mom. Most people I know who are my age had kids long ago. There are several young moms in our church with children the same age, but I feel like I have nothing in common with them. Most of the people my age have Kids in middle school or even high school, yikes!

karaelaine1991 · August 2016

Teach123 said:

I have the opposite problem as @karaelaine1991 I'm an older mom. Most people I know who are my age had kids long ago. There are several young moms in our church with children the same age, but I feel like I have nothing in common with them. Most of the people my age have Kids in middle school or even high school, yikes!

Too bad we can't, like, trade mom friends, haha! Then we'd both feel like we fit in with the moms we know!

christac1010 · August 2016

I feel like pregnancy, in general, is very isolating. I have three friends my age with babies, but our children's ages are over a 4 year span which is a big deal at this point. My closest friends are just starting married life or are still single, so it's been harder to keep in touch. I've been in their shoes and I know sometimes it's weird because you feel like you can't relate. I'm just so thankful for this board because it gives me a group of women to relate to throughout this journey. And I'm trying to stay optimistic that in a few years, my friends will be more so on the same page.

katesmama0706 · August 2016

@karaelaine1991 *raises hand* young mom club here too. This is baby #2 and I'm 22. I have a lot of young married mom friends but none that live close enough. Most of us splintered after college and ended up all around the country so the closest one is 3 hours from me. And I don't fit in with the moms near me, I'm a SAHM and most of the SAHMs near me are way older and just pat my head like "oh you're young and know nothing and oh here look at all the nice things I have because I'm established" , the young moms all work or are in college and don't want to get together during the week. It's frustrating and lonely, I keep hoping that as DD gets older and more involved in things like preschool or activities that I'd meet more girls I have stuff in common with but she's 14 months so that feels like a long way off.

nolemama24 · August 2016

@nolemomma14 I am going to message you about the groups in our area! Thank you for suggesting that, I had no idea. We are also so excited for football season! I think going forward, we will bring our baby to what we can, and try to find a sitter for what we can't. I am being optimistic and hopefully not much changes. I feel very blessed that all my girlfriends are so excited to be become "aunts," they have already started to buy the baby items she will need & love to be involved--- that makes me happy! @karaelaine1991 darn! PA is just a little far away, haha! I don't think you need to feel guilty, it is very natural to feel that way. At my job, a lot of the women I work with are in their 30's, and they have small children. It is sort of the same feeling, sometimes I feel like they have it more "together" than I do. They are so helpful, however, and they see me as a little sister, which I don't mind! @christac1010 agreed!! so glad I can vent here and talk with all of you helpful ladies! so glad we have this little group.

Carly79 · August 2016

Ok, I'm a day late but have to vent this somewhere. My husband is so supportive but has decided that instead of risking me ending up in tears that it's better to just go with whatever I want. Unfortunately, that has extended to him not making any decisions and leaving everything up to me. He just doesn't get that my tearful outbursts are not usually the result of something he's done and usually have no real logic to them. I'm getting tired of being told it's my decision or it's up to me. I want him to have a preference even if it bothers me and makes me start crying.

TexasGal24 · August 2016

@Emma61210 @MaryNog My mother is coming to stay with us after the baby comes as well. She works half the year and only in the summer time ( @canavara ). I love my mother to tears but she can be difficult at times (read: strong willed, hard headed, a little controlling). I think she would be great to have around because she raised 6 children and has helped with her previous 8 grandchildren but the dynamics of her, the baby, my husband, and me....yeah....not sure how all that is going to turn out. She has offered to stay for how ever long we want and will watch the baby full time as I work from home full time. If the situation becomes too difficult she'll leave and I will have to quit my job because child care would take the majority of my take home pay. Besides setting firm boundaries before the time comes, what other precautions have you taken to ensure the whole situation turns out the best? Are there such precautions?

Carly79 · August 2016

@TexasGal24 I have not had anyone come stay with me after baby was born but in my experience with my mom and my MIL, I would suggest having some conversations ahead of time about different things you plan to do and make sure they are supportive. Things have changed greatly since I was a baby and making sure they are familiar with all of that is huge. Also, just setting the stage for open dialog. How do you want to receive suggestions. My MIL tries to help all the time but her suggestions end up driving me up the wall and I feel like when I try to explain why I'm not doing it that way that I offend her. If your mom is there to help that's great but ultimately it's your baby and you and your husband have to figure out what works for you so if you don't agree with a suggestion, she has to be able to understand that and not get bent out of shape.

mudderbear · August 2016

My mbf is that my dad has decided he's not even going to bother coming to visit when baby is born. He lives in Ontario and I'm in Alberta so it's quite a trip, but he thinks it'll be silly to come in the middle of January when there is nothing to do....I'm like "how about see your effing grandchild?" But whatever. He thinks it'll be better to come in April or May when baby is bigger so he can actually do things with her, but I know it's actually so he can go golfing when he's bored

karaelaine1991 · August 2016

katesmama0706 said:

@karaelaine1991 *raises hand* young mom club here too. This is baby #2 and I'm 22. I have a lot of young married mom friends but none that live close enough. Most of us splintered after college and ended up all around the country so the closest one is 3 hours from me. And I don't fit in with the moms near me, I'm a SAHM and most of the SAHMs near me are way older and just pat my head like "oh you're young and know nothing and oh here look at all the nice things I have because I'm established" , the young moms all work or are in college and don't want to get together during the week. It's frustrating and lonely, I keep hoping that as DD gets older and more involved in things like preschool or activities that I'd meet more girls I have stuff in common with but she's 14 months so that feels like a long way off.

This, exactly! My DD is 14 months, too. Too bad we probably don't live near each other, either!

katesmama0706 · August 2016

@karaelaine1991 nope, I'm in Utah. Which is frustrating on a whole other level haha it's super culturally common to get married and have babies young here and I still can't find mom friends? Come on. Ugh.

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