@Gingersnap@sweetT and anyone else on the sex talk: I've thought about it some more and I do see both sides. Maybe it's because I haven't been in the situation where I could get excited about a pregnancy to even think about hoping for a boy or a girl.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and maybe mine is shaded right now because of my loss. I respect the different perspectives on this board. I know all of you will love your LO's regardless of their sex.
I totally understand and respect where you are coming from. You have every right to feel what you do. I hope and pray you get your baby.
I haven't caught up on the last two pages but I'm chiming in on the food aggression. A co-worker tried to take my bagel today and I dead-eye stared him down and said "I would cut you" through my teeth. I tried to play it off as a joke, but everyone saw it for what it was. Also Husband is feeling the pain of not getting the last of everything. After six years of feigning no interest, I get my six months of shoving it all in my face, dammit!
I can completely understand that having a preference for the sex of the baby could come across as insensitive & i am truely sorry if by commenting on this i made anyone feel bad. This baby is already loved & wanted more than i couldve imagined possible by not only myself and my husband but our families too & will be no matter if they are a boy or a girl.
Big hugs to everyone brave enough to talk about their most vulnerable spots. I love our BMB in all of its feistiness. At the center we've got it all right.
I won't lie -- both H and I are stoked that both babies are girls. We've got two sons and there were a lot of teary, loud fights about going for #3. I really wanted a third; he was good with two. We both knew that we'd be hoping for a girl, and that put extra pressure on that kettle. Ultimately, I knew I wanted #3 no matter what, and that I'd feel incomplete without him/her. H supported me.
Now we've got #3... and 4. We are excited and both terrified. No offense to you super moms out there (I'll be needing all of your advice), but any more offspring than three seemed crazy to me. Still does, and I'm about to join the other side.
This pregnancy has been SO hard. I am a high-tolerance, non-complainer, but I've spent the summer in bed feeling like death warmed over. Finding out the twins were girls was definitely a high point.
I totally get the worry over competition. The twins are likely fraternal, and I've had all sorts of irrational worries. I grew up best friends but SO jealous of my 2-yr older sister. She was prettier, cooler, bigger boobs, more athletic -- you name it, I thought she hung the moon. Looking back at pictures, I laugh. She was beautiful, but I was so cute and traditionally (which I thought was boring) pretty -- slender with blonde hair and blue eyes. I just think we often want what we don't have.
I think my goal will be to take the focus off of appearances. My mom was a wonder mom, but she was constantly fussing over our looks and always, always on a diet or complaining about her weight.
I am way off track. Despite all of the awful things that have occurred in my life, I never for one second take for granted that I am fertile and that I have carried to term two (and hopefully two more) healthy babies. For all of my less-important worries like a hard pregnancy or the sex or having "too big" of a family or my kids competing against each other, I do recognize that all of that comes far second and think about that all the time.
People keep asking me if we want a boy or girl, and my standard response is, "We're hoping for a healthy human, and with any luck it won't be more than 7 pounds!" They seem to let it drop after that.
@HeatSparks I'm a twin and honestly the competition stuff is the hardest part. Our parents were awesome about not comparing us but strangers still did it. When I was 19 I left for the service because I wanted time to be my own person. As long as you look at them as two separate people you will be good. We used to get the same birthday gifts even though we had different interest.
@raptormomma thanks -- that's such an important perspective to remember, too. I would never get twins (especially non-infant ones) the same gift, but I know that happened often with my sister and I, so it makes sense that it'd be worse with twins. I'm guilty of daydreaming of matchy baby clothes and corny twin pictures, but I would never want two of the same kid. What fun is that? I'll have to be intentional about creating their own spaces. Are you and your twin close as adults? Anything your parents did really well or that you wish they could have done?
@HeatSparks I love our baby pictures with matching outfits but I'm so happy it ended when we had our own style. We're really close now as adults and actually due a few weeks apart. One thing I wish was done differently was if one of us did something bad then the other one was accused of having the same attitude and doing something bad. But other than that my parents did an amazing job treating us as two different people. We had our own best friends and played different sports which helped.
Re: FFFC Time!!! 8/19
This baby is already loved & wanted more than i couldve imagined possible by not only myself and my husband but our families too & will be no matter if they are a boy or a girl.
TTC #1: 3/2016
Me 39 - DH 44
BFP 5/27/16 EDD 1/30/17
DD born 2/3/17
I won't lie -- both H and I are stoked that both babies are girls. We've got two sons and there were a lot of teary, loud fights about going for #3. I really wanted a third; he was good with two. We both knew that we'd be hoping for a girl, and that put extra pressure on that kettle. Ultimately, I knew I wanted #3 no matter what, and that I'd feel incomplete without him/her. H supported me.
Now we've got #3... and 4. We are excited and both terrified. No offense to you super moms out there (I'll be needing all of your advice), but any more offspring than three seemed crazy to me. Still does, and I'm about to join the other side.
This pregnancy has been SO hard. I am a high-tolerance, non-complainer, but I've spent the summer in bed feeling like death warmed over. Finding out the twins were girls was definitely a high point.
I totally get the worry over competition. The twins are likely fraternal, and I've had all sorts of irrational worries. I grew up best friends but SO jealous of my 2-yr older sister. She was prettier, cooler, bigger boobs, more athletic -- you name it, I thought she hung the moon. Looking back at pictures, I laugh. She was beautiful, but I was so cute and traditionally (which I thought was boring) pretty -- slender with blonde hair and blue eyes. I just think we often want what we don't have.
I think my goal will be to take the focus off of appearances. My mom was a wonder mom, but she was constantly fussing over our looks and always, always on a diet or complaining about her weight.
I am way off track. Despite all of the awful things that have occurred in my life, I never for one second take for granted that I am fertile and that I have carried to term two (and hopefully two more) healthy babies. For all of my less-important worries like a hard pregnancy or the sex or having "too big" of a family or my kids competing against each other, I do recognize that all of that comes far second and think about that all the time.