Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Quick questions August
2. Are there any big no-nos as far as food/drink goes during breastfeeding (alcohol aside)?
TIA!
2. None that I can think of (If you have concerns about supply you might want to look into what foods can decrease supply... peppermint and basil come to mind). Other than that you'll also want to see what babe has sensitivities to.. some babies show no sign of discomfort regardless of what you eat.. E had reflux and it seemed to be worse on days after I had eaten really spicy foods.. no idea if that was legit or just coincidental. It's good for babe's to get a variety of flavors through your milk while you eat lots of different foods.
At my breastfeeding class last night they told us that there are no general food restrictions for BFing, and that it's good for baby to experience lots of different tastes, etc.. And that they've already tasted it all before in the amniotic fluid anyway.
Again, I know nothing! Just what I was told.
@jhems776 Inthink in an otherwise healthy pregnancy, they usually do the due date or after!
Eta: although, that only is related to wanting the Friday. As Asht said, having a scheduled date doesn't mean they'll stop you if you go sooner!
2. Everyone else has answered this already, but unless your baby has an adverse reaction or allergy to something, nothing is really off the table.
2.) I was told to avoid a lot of citrus by some friends, but I can't find any research studies that prove it's harmful or somehow impacts breastfeeding in a negative way. There's so much crap on Pinterest and blogs about what you should and shouldn't eat while breastfeeding, but there's virtually nothing out there backing it up scientifically. My nurse brain won't let me believe something at face value.
**TW**
Does anyone have anxiety because of someone else's loss?
Like when my friend gave birth at 23 weeks, I was nervous that I would too.
and also someone I worked with last year, his girlfriend had a stillborn baby at 36 weeks.
So I've been holding my breath until i passed that mark too and now that I have it just makes me sadder for her.
I'm so nervous that something could go wrong and I'm just thankful that I have a super active baby that reassures me that everything is okay.
And then you find out that it's not entirely true.
I just can't wait until he is out so I'll know he is okay, and then have a million new things to worry about
actually it was way worse before I could feel him move, I used to always have a spilt second thought "oh god they won't find a heart beat" right when the OB would put the doppler on me or the tech would start the ultrasound. I don't even know why
This is very, very, very rare. I wouldn't say It gives me anxiety, but it is the reason I'm choosing to not have my tubes tied during a csection.
Similar to KimmySchmidt, my last BMB one of the members we were all particularly close to had a very long labor that she "Live Bumped" during, and unfortunately her daughter passed away with 24 hours of being born due to an unknown heart condition. It all happened before I went into labor and once I passed my due date I just wanted to have my baby so badly so I could know he was ok. I still have a very hard time thinking about the what if's if I let my brain go there.
BUT - She's an extremely strong mama to her angel baby and last I knew they were trying for their Rainbow Baby now, something that's hard for me to comprehend being strong enough to do.
I think it's normal to have some fears along the way and right after. If the anxiety does start to consume your life (losing a lot of sleep, not eating, feeling lost all the time) it's time to at least tell a doctor/therapist and see if it's something more than the expected mama anxiety
Its not an obsessive fear, but it's something I think about often. Momin' ain't easy.
I also share these fears as a girl in my office lost her baby in June at 36 weeks due to PKD. Her baby girl died within a few hours of birth. Also my colleague who I work with daily, he and his wife had a still born at 40 weeks earlier this year. He has not been open as to why or what happened but he's been very supportive of me and is a huge supporter of my health and baby always coming before work.
All this to say I think it is normal to worry about all the possible things that could happen but to remind yourself that these occurrences are (thankfully) the minority.
I just love him so much already I can't imagine losing him this far along.
Edited for clarity.
Charlotte born at 28w3d due to severe IUGR on 12.24.2012 Merry Christmas!
Missed M/C discovered 12.22.2014 at 8w1d measuring 6w3d
2015 was a year to test strength of both body and character, but it led us to this... BFP 01.26.2016 EDD 9.30.2016
@cricket bug my drive is about 30 minutes and possibly longer depending on traffic. Hoping I won't be too far along when we need to make the drive. Otherwise it could be super uncomfortable and feel like a 4 hour drive. Haha
Charlotte born at 28w3d due to severe IUGR on 12.24.2012 Merry Christmas!
Missed M/C discovered 12.22.2014 at 8w1d measuring 6w3d
2015 was a year to test strength of both body and character, but it led us to this... BFP 01.26.2016 EDD 9.30.2016
Is there a concern that your labor will go quickly? I would expect 1.5 hours would be plenty of time for any "normal" labor. I'm assuming your midwife has instructed you on not going to the hospital until 4-1-1 so hopefully you have time to call your childcare before you get to that point. (FTR, my last labor was only about eight hours from start to baby and even my OB is fine with me laboring at home until 4-1-1.)
DS1 -- 9/30/2016