Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Breastfeeding
Baby #2 due 8/11/2016
ETA: it's not harmful to baby and some babies don't mind it. But DS1 would never drink it (and I don't blame him - I tried it and it tasted gross).
BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13
BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15
BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d
Just keep swimming.
Baby #2 due 8/11/2016
More recently, when she's hungry and rooting she will quickly latch and then pop off and do this repeatedly until she's frustrated. Even with guiding her to the nipple, she still sometimes does this and this can go on for what seems like an eternity (though more realistically about 5ish min). My nipples are not appreciating this for sure! Lol. Any other recommendations for helping with this, or just continue guiding her like I am?
TTC 9/2013
BFP#1: 9/28/2013, EDD 5/28/13, MC confirmed 10/15/13, D&C 10/17/13
BFP#2: 1/10/2014, EDD 9/19/2014
I have also tried Mother's Milk Tea (3-4) glasses a day, and diluted basil oil on my feet, and pumping 8 - 10 times per day. DS was struggling SO much with feeds that for several feeds I ended up just giving a bottle of pumped milk and not even attempting to BF. It's been SO frustrating, and I feel like I've been chained to this pump like it's a prison cell. I am also not able to keep up with his demands, so we have been supplementing with donor milk because he was preterm. We recently added a nipple shield, but it took a bit to find one that actually worked for him. Medela brand has been the best one for us and using the smallest size possible. We have another outpatient appointment with an LC on Friday, and next will be adding Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle supplements. If things aren't going smoothly in 2 more weeks - I think I will be forced to throw in the towel. I'm also worried that with his procedure yesterday and trying to make him BF each time that he is going to have a low weight at our peds appointment on Friday.
So NO, in short, you are NOT alone!!!
Its crazy how I literally have lost all modesty and will whip my tit out in front of strangers now. Mostly medical professionals but still I always thought id be too embarrassed.
When did everyone's regular milk supply come in? I'm just going on my 3rd day and wasn't sure if I should notice anything different than colostrum at this point.
@huskymama725 DS does this also! All my white nursing tanks are getting stained from all the dripping milk.
Baby #2 due 8/11/2016
So I have been pumping about an ounce off before the last few feedings. Will this cause oversupply? If so what can I do about it?
BFP #1: 08/17/2012 DD1 born 05/01/2013
BFP #2: 07/31/2015 M/C 09/23/2015 (11.5 weeks)
On another note, I learned from our pediatrician that milk supply is usually at its lowest at night. This may be why baby A cluster feeds between 7-10 PM! Omg the fussiness during that time is unreal - totally different baby! Maybe I need to pump more to get my supply up.
Exciting milestone today... Levi latched without a shield!
BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13
BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15
BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d
Just keep swimming.
I've had the hardest time with milk supply also, I put a lengthy post about some things I've tried on the first page of this thread. But I was basically told you have to pump 8 times in 24 hours to maintain and about 10 times to increase supply. I've tried Mother's Milk Tea, and have ordered Fenugreek and Blessed thistle to try (should arrive tomorrow), drinking plenty of fluids and things containing calcium. Will also try coconut oil / milk as @Fremdschamen suggested above.
Things got better today, as I was able to pump 3.5 ounces this am and haven't had to suppliment yet today at all and I am 2.5 ounces ahead now. Going to drink my 4th cup of tea and pump for the 9th time today right now.