Ask a STM 8/10

birdiejo · August 2016

Got questions about pregnancy, labor/delivery, baby gear, and beyond?

Let's hear them!

NiceyMeany · August 2016

I was planning on talking to my OB about this when I see her on Monday, but I figured you guys would have some good advice, too:

When do I start doing things like a hospital tour, birthing/childcare classes, etc? Is that the kind of thing my OB's office will provide info on, or do I need to seek out that stuff for myself? I technically have 3 hospital options, but one of the best L&D hospitals in the state is five minutes from my house, so that's kind of a no-brainer. But I still want to go see the place and figure out where I'll be going.

mjsommer · August 2016

I wouldn't start yet it's too soon. I did my l and d tour at 3rd trimester. You want it to be fresh and you will be much more excited then. Like ah this is only a few more weeks away. I wouldn't take any classes yet but research which ones you would like to take and reserve your spots.

birdiejo · August 2016

@NiceyMeany In my experience before and this time, the hospital has info on their website about tours and both encouraged going at some point during second trimester. My first time it was very casual and you just showed up on a Sunday, this time we have to sign up and it gets booked pretty far in advance.

Classes worked the same way through the hospital website but i know there's options elsewhere. My doctor recommended we take a tour last time some time around the middle, and told us to take the main class offered.

birdiejo · August 2016

Also I highly recommend the tour, they tell you where to park and how to get in when it's the middle of the night, they guide you through what's going to happen and where you'll be staying. I really enjoyed it and found out some valuable information I didn't even think about beforehand.

joyful08 · August 2016

I hope this is not a dumb question. I am wanting to breastfeed. But I am also wanting to pump and allow my husband to feed baby with a bottle maybe once a day in the evening when he gets home from work. Is this something I can do or will the baby be confused between the bottle and the breast? Should I establish breastfeeding for a while first before trying to incorporate a bottle. I feel like I know nothing.

mjsommer · August 2016

@homemake yes to the above! I went in motn. My water had broken and I leaked from the furthest side of that hospital up to the L&D floor. I felt so bad but I couldn't figure out where to get in.

birdiejo · August 2016

@joyful08 I think you'll just have to see what works best for you guys. We only had the pump for kind of that purpose and I ended up giving up the idea because it was just too much easier to breastfeed then to sit there with the pump... It's not as efficient if you're not using it all the time. But that's not to say it wouldn't be worth it for you. Give it a try and see how you feel about it. As for establishing breastfeeding, I think that's the general consensus with the LC's is to try and establish that bond before introducing the bottle but then there's always exceptions to the rule.

JannieJ · August 2016

@joyful08 I did this for a while with my first. Definitely get breastfeeding established first before introducing a bottle. I had to cut back at one point on the bottle feedings because DS's latch started hurting and I assumed it was from him using a bottle once a day, so we had to reestablish a good latch. It wasn't too big of a deal. If you can meet with a LC consultant once baby comes I would reccomend that. They have so much knowledge and advice! I want to do a bottle once a day with this baby so DS can help with baby. I think you'll be able to tell if baby likes to or is able to go back and forth.

joyful08 · August 2016

Thanks @homemake & @JannieJ !
i am hoping it works out so DH can have some time with baby.

BumpasaurusRex · August 2016

I did my hospital tour in 2nd tri with DS. I just wanted to know as much info as possible as soon as possible and it helped me feel more in control. I also pre-registered with the hospital around the same time so I didn't have to go to the hospital while in labor and fill out a bunch of paperwork.

As for the BF/bottle, another important thing if you're going to switch back and forth is to remember the flow of the nipple. You'll want it to mimic the flow of milk from the breast as much as possible so use the slowest flow nipple possible and keep it that way until baby gets more efficient at nursing.

If the flow is too fast, they'll get used to not having to work as hard at the breast and get frustrated if your letdown isn't super fast.

joyful08 · August 2016

@BumpasaurusRex that's good to know about the matching flow. I've seen slow flow bottle nipples but never knew what they were for.

PerraSucia · August 2016

@joyful08 it totally may work for you, but like 100% of the people I know who had this idea to pump for their husbands to do night feeding realized how much harder it made life that everyone was awake.

Just because your H doesn't feed the baby doesn't mean he won't have time with it and be able to bond. For us, H did cuddle time before work so I could sleep a little bit more and he was on most diaper change and middle of the night walking arounds because my kid never fucking slept.

That being said your first pump of the morning is normally your best and more efficient one. So if you can get in a routine of pumping before having to feed your LO you should get a pretty sweet stash going.

Gingersnap · August 2016

joyful08 said:

Thanks @homemake & @JannieJ !
i am hoping it works out so DH can have some time with baby.

We did this BUT DD would NOT take a bottle if I was in the house.
She freaking knew.

NiceyMeany · August 2016

@PerraSucia I hadn't heard that about the first pump - that's great info. Thanks

joyful08 · August 2016

@PerraSucia I definitely am not banking on this idea working. It's definitely more of a pipe dream to give me a break from feeding once a day. I won't be sad if it doesn't work. But I'd still like to pump some to build up a freezer stash so I will keep in mind that morning is best for that.

@Gingersnap that sucks. Smart kid though.

Gingersnap · August 2016

I had so much milk that I would feed Vi from one boob and pump the other to freeze or have H/ whoever give it to her when I tried to run to Target alone.
And, yes, if you are BFing it's usually not worth the hassle of trying to have a SO do MOTN. By the time they have a bottle ready you could have been done. And you probably won't fall asleep anyways.

bdesterhouse · August 2016

@joyful08 every situation, family, and baby are different with what the needs are and what works for that family. My personal experience is the sooner baby is introduced to the bottle, the better they take the bottle for Dad. My son was never confused between bottle and boob, whatever gave him food made him happy. He was given a bottle in the NICU because I was unable to breastfeed him right away, but he still latched perfectly fine. You'll just have to see what works best for you and your new family.

expandcontract · August 2016

@NiceyMeany I'm planning on doing our hospital tour and classes sometime during the 2nd trimester. I know I'll be too damn tired to do anything during 3rd tri.

Regarding BF, from what I've seen with my sisters, BF would take FOREVER because the milk doesn't come out fast enough. So my sisters would sit their for 30-45 minutes with the baby latched on. And one time, my one sister fed the baby with a bottle and he was done in like 10 minutes! When I saw that, that's when I decided I would exclusively pump and bottle feed the breastmilk.
So does everyone's milk take forever or is it different for everyone? Anyone have milk that comes out fast?

Gingersnap · August 2016

Mine came out quick. I never even felt a letdown.
Honestly, I would at least give BFing a try if I were you, pumping is a PITA.

bdesterhouse · August 2016

Everyone is different. I have friends who's littles are done BF in ten minutes and then others who's baby takes all day it seems like.

cantalopes24 · August 2016

I did classes and tour mid second tri with my first, I was impatient and it was a good things because he came early. My second was my husbands first so we did it around 28 weeks which is what our hospital recommends. Even if you end up not doing classes definitely take the tour.

My daughter alternated between bottle breast at first because she had some health stuff we were figuring out and we also used an SNS which my husband used with his finger to feed her. She didn't have any trouble figuring it out.

expandcontract · August 2016

Thank you for the responses, ladies! U da best!

BumpasaurusRex · August 2016

In the beginning, DS would take forever to feed and then 20 minutes later was ready to eat again.

As he grew and got more efficient at emptying the breast, it was 10-15 minutes each session. Which was a lot less than it took me to pump, store milk, and clean the pumping stuff.

silvercamaro77 · August 2016

With BF times it largely depends on the age of the baby. I had a fast letdown and an oversupply, but in the beginning both of mine still spent 30-45 mins nursing at a time. In all honesty, it wasn't that bad because I was tired and it gave me a very good reason to sit/lay without feeling guilty for not actually doing something. As they got older (even as soon as 6 weeks old) the times dramatically decreased and we got down to only needing about 10 minutes.

With switching between bottles and nursing the common denominator I've seen/heard is in the quality of the baby's latch. If the baby starts with a really good latch there's usually not much issue introducing bottles/paci's early, but when the latch is bad bottles/pacis tend to make it worse.

My biggest complaints about pumping are that it's not any faster than nursing baby and it's not as efficient as nursing. Even with an oversupply and a good pump (Medela PISA with DS) I had to pump almost twice as often as DS ate in order to match how many oz he was taking. At 20-30 mins of pumping per session that is no small chunk of time. Some people respond to pumping a lot better than others so it could be totally different for you, but it's something to keep in mind especially if you plan to go the exclusive pumping route.

joyful08 · August 2016

Thanks everyone for the great advice! It's much appreciated.

MommaBean · August 2016

Sometimes DS would take ages to nurse, but it wasn't bc of my flow, it was bc he was just snacking. Enjoying the nursing session and nibbling (at the "food," not my nip). As PPs said, we got way faster and more efficient with age and practice. I pumped too bc I returned to work around 12 weeks and nursed for 13 months and breast feeding is way more enjoyable and easier! The first 4-6 weeks were tough (be prepared for that) but it got to be a breeze.

SweetT · August 2016

@AfKash my daughter did take forever nursing. We later found out she had a liptie. While her latch looked good to me and LC's she had to suck in a way she would exhaust herself and fall asleep so I would have to constantly wake her up. I wasn't successful breastfeeding because of that and was supplementing with formula early on, but continued to breastfeed for 6 months even if she wasn't getting much.

Starfish113 · August 2016

I agree with above. Pumping is a huuuuuge PITA and takes longer than a regular feeding. So the more BFing you can establish in the beginning, the better. Speaking from the experience of someone who fucked it up the first time and relied too much on pumping and not going and finding a good LC!

16isourluckynumber · August 2016

bdesterhouse said:

@joyful08 every situation, family, and baby are different with what the needs are and what works for that family. My personal experience is the sooner baby is introduced to the bottle, the better they take the bottle for Dad. My son was never confused between bottle and boob, whatever gave him food made him happy. He was given a bottle in the NICU because I was unable to breastfeed him right away, but he still latched perfectly fine. You'll just have to see what works best for you and your new family.

1,000 times this. I didn't introduce a bottle to my daughter until she was 7-8 weeks and by that time she would have nothing to do with one. I could not leave her and my husband could not feed her until she was over 6 months. With my son, I introduced one at 2 weeks and made sure to give him one at least every other day. So much better.

expandcontract · August 2016

Thank you ladies for all your wonderful insight. I know that BF is what I'm most nervous about.

Edit: because spelling

Xstatic3333 · August 2016

I'm sure it's not for quite a while, but when do you need to line up a pediatrician? And does your pediatrician need to be affiliated with your hospital? I saw something in my paperwork about needing the pediatrician to sign off on the baby leaving the hospital, but we'd like to get a pediatrician about 20 minutes away (over a state border) for insurance reasons and she probably wouldn't be affiliated with the hospital where I deliver.

fourPsinapod · August 2016

I picked out a ped before birth but they gave me a list at the hospital in case I hadn't picked yet. I wanted to find one earlier so I could ask questions and get to know their philosophy.

birdiejo · August 2016

They had me write down my pediatrician on the hospital registration so that's probably when you'll want to have figured it out by. I think if you don't have one, they just have the pediatrician on call come check the baby out. Not sure about affiliation but I'm kind of in the same boat. I live an hour from the hospital im delivering at.

Starfish113 · August 2016

We had an affiliated pedi come see DD at the hospital because like yours, ours is far away. And then we had an appointment with her actual pedi two days later!

birdiejo · August 2016

@Starfish113 this is what I was hoping to do this time but then I remembered last time they were scheduling all our first appointments in the hospital. I'm glad to know that's an option.

bdesterhouse · August 2016

I have a confession. I chose my son's pediatrician based on his photo. It was the best decision ever. We got super lucky.

Meditation: hit save before I was done.

that should have said EDIT not meditation.

expandcontract · August 2016

Lol. I do that, kind of. I usually read about them first and then look at the picture and if they look completely douchy I move on to the next one.

Partyof6? · August 2016

As far as classes and tours, you want to check the hospital schedule. I would imagine they do them quarterly or monthly, but with our February dates and the holidays, it might be better to do them earlier.

If your family pediatrician isn't close or affiliated with the hospital you are delivering at, I am sure the hospital has pediatricians that do that. Our pediatric group sees their own patients in the hospital, for both newborns and visits to the children's hospital. There was one overnight stay where no one contacted our pediatrician, so my daughter was seen by an in house doctor who sent records back.

I am sure bottles have changed a ton, but I know for flow, we stuck with preemie and newborn nipples the whole time. My youngest was exclusively nursed but would take occasional bottles if I wasn't around, but really preferred me. She was a slow nurser, but also fell asleep while nursing, so I was also a part time pacifier.

kswiger06 · August 2016

Xstatic3333 said:

I'm sure it's not for quite a while, but when do you need to line up a pediatrician? And does your pediatrician need to be affiliated with your hospital? I saw something in my paperwork about needing the pediatrician to sign off on the baby leaving the hospital, but we'd like to get a pediatrician about 20 minutes away (over a state border) for insurance reasons and she probably wouldn't be affiliated with the hospital where I deliver.

We use a family Dr for all of us, including the newborn. He's a Dr my husband has seen and his father was delivered by the man... he's ancient. But he's an hour away, we trust this Dr completely and refuse to find a new closer Dr until we are forced to. With our other kids, the hospital just had an on call Dr do the work to release the baby, since our dr was not associated with them. We then just followed up with our Dr like normal. That's what we are planning on doing this time as well

imalwaysme79 · August 2016

I have a gear question.
We didn't want to spend the money on a separate bassinet for the first few weeks (months?), but thought about going the route of a PnP that has the bassinet attachment. I'm not sure if they're similar or not. What are your thoughts? What did you do/would you do it again?

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