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October 2016 Moms
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Re: FFFC 08.05.2016
I said No.
Bitch is supposed to be at WORK anyway, not Walmart. Call somebody who isn't pregnant, toting an infant everywhere, aaaand you didn't abandon as a child. Just sayin'.
I am jealous and almost resentful of women who have singleton, easier-than-mine, or somewhat normal, pregnancies. I am jealous that I most likely will not leave the hospital with my LOs, that they will probably spend time in the NICU, and that I don't get to enjoy this pregnancy like I had really imagined or hoped I would and see other pregnant mamas doing. This is my first and only pregnancy, of course I may have gone into it with unreal expectations, but I basically did not and will not get anything out of this pregnancy that I had hoped for (other than my babes).
The 2 or 3 showers and parties we were going to get to do with everyone we love, a maternity shoot, being able to go do things outside of my home on a regular basis and at least nesting at home, and what seems like the inevitable - leaving the hospital with my babies and getting to reach a full term pregnancy. Going home outfits don't even need packed in my hospital bag. None of those things get to happen. I feel guilty for feeling these thoughts because we were lucky to even get pregnant and I know the outcome of the pregnancy is still going to be the same, babies. But, it's nothing like I had hoped and wished for my pregnancy to be and I have been pretty physically miserable through a lot of it, at least half of it. It just makes me sad. And then not proud of myself for feeling this way.
Confession over.
Maybe the girls will surprise me and make me miserable for 7 more weeks instead of just a few.
... but my real confession is I just took, like, 787 selfies at my desk because this is the first time in my third tri that I've actually felt like I looked good.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
@sjo_thetwins ... I'm sorry love... I can understand why you'd feel that way
TTC only since Dec 2015. I had some weight to get off. Been working hard in the gym for over a year.
BFP 02-15-16 with our first
IT'S A BOY!!!
And, on the plus side, you have an AMAZING nursery already set up for those lucky ladies! And maybe if you can't do a maternity shoot, think of the great newborn/family shoot you can do after they're here! And, can you not have a shower because of the bed rest? Couldn't you do something where you get propped on a pillow throne or something and everyone comes to you?
@UponAStar16 I would be that person in the next cubicle not saying anything, but fantasizing about slapping that cup of ice out of your hands haha
@CopperBoom86 Work it girl!
@MRSCORKER I don't know why other people intentionally try to have multiples either. It's hard! And so high risk. Too stressful for me, lol.
@sjo_thetwins I won't pretend to understand any of it, but you rock! I'm so sorry it hasn't been everything you wanted pregnancy to be, but I hope when you have those girls in your arms that it will all become a distant memory. Keep up the good work you've been doing to keep yourself and the babies healthy! Hopefully you can do some fun family photo shoots afterwards!
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
@UponAStar16 even though the sound of loud chewing bothers me, I feel you on the ice!! I basically eat at least a large cup of ice a day (like large fountain soda size). Idk why but it's one of the only things that settles my stomach.
I have 2:
1. The other day I really wanted to bitch about my mother and mil in a completely whiny way but I'm scared to start a new discussion. One because I really am shy. Lurking- ok, commenting- still ok but a little more nerve wracking, starting- nope! I'll just pretend in my own mind that I'm telling everyone. And I didn't want anyone to think special snowflake about it!
2. This is kind of bitchy of me but I don't like to tell other people where I buy dd's clothes. Generally speaking they are normal places like Oldnavy or gap or target but I am obsessed with h&m. The thing is, I live in a pretty rural place so no one really shops there but since I'm from CT I've been shopping there since they redid the mall by where my family lives like 10-15 years ago. Now I mostly shop online (love when they went online).
but I have a friend who loves to get everything I have (and she has way more money so she gets what I have plus more). She really loves to copy off of my dd for her dd. Like the same exact things. So when my dd wears something from h&m and she asks, I lie. I'll either pretend idk or say someone bought it for her or whatever. It drives me crazy that she has to copy and I like that my dd's clothes aren't always exactly the same as 15 other kids. I also get irrationally mad when friends on Facebook shops there (they live close to philly where there is a store) and then tells people! I'm like 'noooo, my secret!!'.
@UponAStar16 hahaha I've had multiple conversations about this, and everyone has THAT person in their office who chews ice all day. I put it on par with clipping nails at the office too. .......but now I want to go get some ice................
@CopperBoom86 werrrrrrk! Selfies are hard to take hence me looking totally pissed in hdbd. I was concentrating.
Married 7/15
BFP #2 2/18/16
@sjo_thetwins I was actually just talking to my perinatal therapist about this. I had originally started to see her because I had a bad bout of baby blues after DS1 and am trying to be proactive with emotional support if it happens after this baby. I've been having a lot of the same feelings as this pregnancy has been complicated and I've been in the hospital/ on bed rest and now on a modified bed rest and most likely back onto bed rest soon. Although our pregnancies are different- I have a lot of unknowns with mine too and it's scary. It's also hard to not be resentful that this isn't what we expected. And it's very normal to be upset about that. It's normal to be upset that you can't do the things you had planned. It's also normal to be upset about a pregnancy you are actually very happy about. You are allowed to feel different emotions with this pregnancy- it doesn't have to be all joy and all anger. It can be a combination of the both. It is also scary to think about a NICU stay and how to deal with it and the fact that the girls might not get to come home with you. Also pack some special blankets and hats- I've seen babies in the NICU that were able to have their own things.
But as @LMNObaby said you're already an amazing mother to those babies. And you will figure it out as it happens.
I also think that it's great that you're allowing yourself to feel what you feel vs hiding it/ being ashamed (which there is no reason to feel that way).
TTC only since Dec 2015. I had some weight to get off. Been working hard in the gym for over a year.
BFP 02-15-16 with our first
IT'S A BOY!!!
Everyone on on here is super badass and I really appreciate you.
I simultaneously look forward to and dread going back to calorie counting. In the end, I know it pays off big time, so I'll do it, but I might pout about it for a while!
ETA: I almost lost it on my coworker who was eating way too loud the other day...ice cream! How do you eat ice cream loudly?!
My FFFC is my husband always wants sex and we've only had sex once since we got our BFP (and it was quite painful tbh). I have like a zero sex drive, could not care less if it happens, but it's been killing him. He practically begs me everyday, but I'm so uncomfortable and feel so unattractive that I always turn him down. It's to the point where it just annoys the crap or of me when he asks, but I feel like a horrible wife for not giving in. Well two days ago I woke up to him jacking off in the middle of the night since it was shaking the bed and I was irrationally angry. I've been getting terrible sleep lately due to heartburn and hip pain, that I went to instant rage when he woke up me. I got up and slept in the spare bedroom. Yesterday he said he's just too frustrated with not having sex he's just going to keep doing it, so I didn't even bother laying down in our bed last night, I just went to the spare bedroom and slept. It was honestly the best sleep I've had in weeks! I didn't get up to go to the bathroom at all and only woke up once when the dog stole the covers. I want to sleep like that all the time.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
TTC only since Dec 2015. I had some weight to get off. Been working hard in the gym for over a year.
BFP 02-15-16 with our first
IT'S A BOY!!!
My FFFC is that I am super excited about certain things about this pregnancy/baby: the babyshower, setting up the nursery, this baby's first trip, his baptism, his first meal, his first word, his first steps, his first laugh, his cute little outfits.... and I don't know if I'm really mentally prepared for all the hard work this baby business is all about. DH once said to me. "having kids... it's like 80% a PITA...and 20% magical... and the 20% magical often makes up for the 80% sucky parts...but better believe there will be so much of it that will suck" I'm not even really thinking about all the hard work. My head is in the clouds. All I can think of are baby outfits and cute baby carriers.... not about spitup or poop everywhere.
And I love Pumpkin Spice. The smell anyway, give me all the candles, glade, and febreeze! It sounds like it'd be a great flavor too though... I love pumpkin pie and I love cinnamon, assuming that those two flavors are the base I don't see how it could NOT be delicious!
@krzyriver
I just got another sleeper thing for this Lo.
But I think anyone who is super excited about it, should be! It's just not my cup of tea.