@rnyland1 DD was like that too. Our best luck was with the swaddlemes but we did them pretty much as tight as possible. I sometimes wondered if she could still breathe basically. Halos always ended up over her face. Scary!
Thanks ladies!! I'll give it a shot and see how I do! I am running out of shows and stranger things caught my eye a while ago but I was nervous to watch it
@samantha1206 It took me awhile to start having a glass of wine again, despite being all I could think about while pregnant! When I finally had one again, I realized it was harmless and that I couldn't even feel it. And it tasted so good! You'll get there when you're ready.
July BMB Siggy Challenge: Weird Hot Dog Situations
I've been dying for a glass of wine. My bff gifted me one at the hospital, but it says in big bold letter on my pain medication to avoid alcohol. I'll have to wait until I finish taking it before I can open it. I'm not so concerned about drinking while breastfeeding, but I am if Im also on pain meds. Let us know when you do get to enjoy a glass!
I've still only had 1 beer since my son was born..I guess for most of us we were all talk about enjoying alcoholic beverages as soon as our kids were born
I plan on having DH smuggle some champagne into the hospital on Friday. If I can't have this baby the way I so desperately want, the least I can do is treat myself to a few sips.
I have at least a glass of wine or a beer most days. Usually try to time it for right after a pumping session but I will admit that I plowed through a bottle of wine by myself last weekend at DH's encouragement. We have a decent freezer stock of milk so I only felt minor guilt when it came time to pump and dump.
Speaking of randoms, who are all these rando's I've never seen before posting birth announcements? Have they been lurking the last 9 months or did they just decide to google for places to AW their story/pics? I don't even open the thread anymore because it crashes my phone, but I keep seeing new names on the most recent poster and thinking who the eff are you?!
I'm finding I'm still really sensitive about my delivery. It just makes me really upset when people label c section as unnatural. I wanted to have a vaginal delivery but having a healthy baby was more important in the moment but I don't like feeling like her birth was "unnatural" it just makes me feel like a failure which I already struggle feeling like because I couldn't deliver her on my own safely.
@Backbypopulardemand I know EXACTLY how how you feel. I'm currently on this struggle bus because unless there's some sort of miracle in the next 24 hours, I'm having a c/s with LO #2. I know I should be thankful my body has nourished this baby past 40 weeks, but I feel like such a failure.
@Backbypopulardemand I totally hear you! For me though it's mostly those first moments he was outside and how I met him were not what I wanted or envisioned. The first time I held him I was shaking so hard I needed help and it hurts my heart. I know c section was the only way he was coming out and we are both healthy but I am really sensitive about it.
@Weville exactly! I'm heartbroken to have missed her birth but I would much rather have it that way and a safe and healthy baby but the guilt and trauma of being rushed and having No say or having my husband there as well. Im working through it slowly but surely and healing as well. Hope your recovery both physical and emotional is going okay.
But seeing random people who haven't posted come in and insinuate my birth was unnatural just stirs it all up again
@Backbypopulardemand a long time ago, I would've agreed that a C-section was "the easy way out" but after growing up and reading and now my own ordeal, I definitely understand that they are an "as needed" thing. And it's still birth. Things happen and getting that baby out healthy is much more important *than how they get out.
@weville the fact that I couldn't even hold my baby in the OR is something that really bothers me and really affected my confidence and perception of myself as a capable mother.
@jwittwer you are in no way a failure i struggled with feeling the same way but we are not failures! Our little ones just got comfy cozy good news is you will still be able to be awake and experience it.
I wasnt able to do skin to skin for about 90 minutes due to being in recovery but it was amazing when it did happen and she was ready to eat then and we have been doing well. Hang in there and stay positive
@Backbypopulardemand@Weville :: I understand this feeling so well. Being separated from my son after his birth makes me burst into tears every time I think about it. He was crying and all I wanted to do was hold him and soothe him, but I couldn't even do that. It was not at all how I saw my birth experience going. On top of that, we've been having issues breastfeeding and I will likely be moving over to straight FF. Breastfeeding had been one of my goals, but I really don't think it's going to work for us. And I know that all that matters is he was born healthy and is being fed no matter what, but when I think that maybe there's a connection between the c/s and the feeding issues, it breaks me all over again.
Moral of my story: nothing about my c section was easy or taking the easy way out.
Come on girls! Everyone knows it's the easy way because you get one extra night at the all inclusive resort with the nurses pampering you!! It was so easy to see my son's heartbeat drop on the monitor and have the nurse cut my sport bra so I can be rush more quickly in the "easy spot"!!
I've tried Swaddle Me swaddles and Halo Sleepsacks...any other types of swaddles people are using successfully? My LO kicks out of pretty much all swaddles and can get his arms out of almost any swaddle and then wakes himself up.
Ollie World "Ollie" swaddle! Our first night home, I didn't use it and she was awake most of the night (she busted out of every swaddle in the hospital). So I broke out the Ollie, and she has been sleeping like a dream every night since we started using it.
I am a two-time c-section member, and I am proud of it. We tried everything to get DD1 out, and in the end, it wasn't meant to be. My OB said she did the "hardest c-section" she has had to do, when it came to DD1's delivery. There was no skin-to-skin, no immediate bonding, and I was so out of it...I don't remember a whole lot. Oh, and the 12 weeks of restrictions (instead of the normal 6 weeks), was real "fun" too. I come from a family where they see c-sections as an "easy way out", but not a single one of them has ever had a c-section (most of them don't even have kids yet!).
When it came time for DD2 to be born, I opted for a RCS since we don't know exactly why DD1 wouldn't come out. I didn't want to go through everything I went through with DD1, to have the same type of delivery with DD2, where I am completely out of it and am not mentally/emotionally present for DD2's birth (especially since she was going to be our last baby). All of my struggles with the emergency c-section that I dealt with (emotionally/mentally) when it came to DD1's birth, I didn't have to deal with when it came time to deliver DD2 and I had a gentle "family centered" c-section. It was 100 times better. I have zero regrets, and would choose a RCS all over again in a heartbeat....my goal was to have a healthy mom and healthy baby. My main focus was not whether or not the baby came out of my vagina or which delivery was the "easy way out".
@megstervt I didn't hold him till I was in the recovery room. My husband showed him to me and I tried to touch him but because I was shaking so violently I couldn't even do that.
I'm sorry you are struggling with your confidence! Have you talked with your doctor?
I wasn't able to hold my baby after my C section either because I was so nauseous and dry heaving. The doctor had to give me so many meds it basically made me pass out and i was afraid to hold her. DH was there but I was terrified and made him stay with me and hold my hand. I definitely struggle with these memories but know what was done was in our best interest and won't affect her long term.
@Backbypopulardemand I didn't understand it as a major surgery back then. I am not reffering to repeat c-sections by choice and what I mean by "as needed" is just that. Things may not be working out and it's deemed that a C-section is the best course of action given the current situation.
What @PootsDragon said, we've all been through too much together for people to start something now, especially with as sensitive of a topic this is. You're all so strong; so many hugs to you all, mommas
@sboston06 I had a very similar experience. I couldn't stop throwing up while I was in recovery. I remember telling my husband to take the baby because I was so sick. My husband did most of the skin to skin and I would be lying if I told you I wasn't jealous. Sometimes my husband is better at comforting him and I wonder, is it because they bonded?
It it most certainly not an easy way out! The other day my uncle's wife posted something about c sections being anti Catholic because it goes against nature. I found it to be extremely ignorant and offensive. Glad she was fortunate to avoid a C section but that's not the case for a lot of people.
I think part of the reason I was (still am for the next 24 hours) so set on the VBAC is because of the trauma I experienced with DD. I was unconscious for her birth as they out me under. DH wasn't even allowed on the room. I went to the or and 5 minutes later they brought him a baby. I'm grateful they took pictures, but I missed her first breath and hearing her cry. I don't even know how long I was out. Part of me was hoping the VBAC would be healing, but I don't think it's in the cards for me.
I don't think of it as the easy way out either. I am beyond jealous of anyone that was/is able to deliver vaginally. I think I'd take stitches down below over the ones I'll have across my abdomen, as well as all restrictions that go along with them.
I am tired of hearing that a healthy baby is all that matters. Yes, that is extremely important, but I don't think it needs to be an either or. I can be happy and thankful LO is healthy, but I'm still allowed to be upset and mourn the way it came about.
I don't know personally, but my sister has struggled for 6 years about her now 3 c-sections. She tried desperately for a vbac with her second, but due to her large babies and the way the birth progressed she couldn't find a doctor that would allow it. She still has intense emotions even six years later, although she has come to accept them.
I let DH start going for his early morning run today. The forest preserve opened later than it was supposed to and when he was done, his car wouldn't start. Now he's stranded and I am in pajamas at home with 2u2.
@weville my doc is completely on top of it and I started a low dose of Zoloft this week. They also referred me to a counselor who specializes in trauma and is beginning to do work with moms and dads who experienced traumatic births. I'll be the first patient from my practice to see her, but I'm so thankful i was referred.
@kellyj103 I feel the same way. DH and LO have a crazy bond already and I know a big part of that is because he was essentially the sole caregiver for the first week while I tried to heal physically and emotionally.
I've been struggling with my csection this past week. It's still hard to talk about without breaking down and crying. It wasn't what I wanted or even envisioned. I pushed myself so hard afterward so I could meet her that I ended up throwing up on her while attempting our first breastfeeding session. My friend who just had the most text book unmedication birth kept questioning everything when she came to visit. It just made me feel worse and worse. I'm happy I have a healthy happy baby, but like many of you I'm trying to come to terms with it. People's negative opinions without truly knowing what it is like are truly unnecessary snd harmful even.
Creepy internet hugs to all of you that are struggling, no matter what the reason. I wish people understood better the fragility of our minds and emotions at this stage in the game, especially the first few weeks PP. Hang in there ladies!
Well shit I should have seen this thread before commenting on the c-section one. Clearly I didn't need to raise my hackles when you guys beat me to the punch. YAY for healthy babies, it shouldn't matter how they got here in the end. Hopefully I didn't sound too contrite and belittling of those who had negative experiences! My goal was to try and show it can be empowering and an OK thing. @megstervt glad to hear your doctor is on top of things. I've been thinking of you! Hang in there mama.
@megstervt I'm glad your doctor is supporting you! I hope it makes a big difference.
@theshannondee I don't think you sounded contrite or belittling at all. Having my induction go on for five days before it was considered failed (and me getting a fever, my baby's heart rate skyrocketing) only to discover there was no way I was ever going to vaginally deliver all 10lb 7oz of him really makes me wish the call was made sooner. In the end though we are happy, healthy and that's what really counts. I just look forward to the sting from those first moments to fade
So I finally installed the car seat base in my car so I can take him out now that DH is back at work. We went grocery shopping today and...it poured. I sure know how to mom.
Married 6/1/13
BFP #1 7/2013 MMC 9/17/13
BFP #2 5/2014 MC 6/15/14
BFP #3 11/13/14 (Found in ER with ruptured cyst) Diagnosed MC 11/15/14
BFP #4 4/2015 MC 7/1/15
BFP #5 10/21/15 EDD 7/3/16 Praying for our rainbow!
I totally agree that sections are the harder way...how could anyone think major surgery and then a newborn is the "easy way out" that seems crazy to me! While I have had 3 vaginal deliveries so no personal section experience, my SIL has struggled through laboring and then csections and the recovery was so hard on her emotionally and physically. My heart goes out to all of you c section mamas, praying for quick recoveries both emotionally and physically!
Re: 8/1 randoms
Speaking of randoms, who are all these rando's I've never seen before posting birth announcements? Have they been lurking the last 9 months or did they just decide to google for places to AW their story/pics? I don't even open the thread anymore because it crashes my phone, but I keep seeing new names on the most recent poster and thinking who the eff are you?!
But seeing random people who haven't posted come in and insinuate my birth was unnatural just stirs it all up again
*edit
Married: October 2014
TTC #1 since September 2015
I will also question your current view that they are "as needed" seeing as several moms on here had repeat c sections by choice
I wasnt able to do skin to skin for about 90 minutes due to being in recovery but it was amazing when it did happen and she was ready to eat then and we have been doing well. Hang in there and stay positive
Moral of my story: nothing about my c section was easy or taking the easy way out.
When it came time for DD2 to be born, I opted for a RCS since we don't know exactly why DD1 wouldn't come out. I didn't want to go through everything I went through with DD1, to have the same type of delivery with DD2, where I am completely out of it and am not mentally/emotionally present for DD2's birth (especially since she was going to be our last baby). All of my struggles with the emergency c-section that I dealt with (emotionally/mentally) when it came to DD1's birth, I didn't have to deal with when it came time to deliver DD2 and I had a gentle "family centered" c-section. It was 100 times better. I have zero regrets, and would choose a RCS all over again in a heartbeat....my goal was to have a healthy mom and healthy baby. My main focus was not whether or not the baby came out of my vagina or which delivery was the "easy way out".
I'm sorry you are struggling with your confidence! Have you talked with your doctor?
It it most certainly not an easy way out! The other day my uncle's wife posted something about c sections being anti Catholic because it goes against nature. I found it to be extremely ignorant and offensive. Glad she was fortunate to avoid a C section but that's not the case for a lot of people.
Edit: because words.
July16 JULY siggy challenge
I don't think of it as the easy way out either. I am beyond jealous of anyone that was/is able to deliver vaginally. I think I'd take stitches down below over the ones I'll have across my abdomen, as well as all restrictions that go along with them.
I am tired of hearing that a healthy baby is all that matters. Yes, that is extremely important, but I don't think it needs to be an either or. I can be happy and thankful LO is healthy, but I'm still allowed to be upset and mourn the way it came about.
@kellyj103 I feel the same way. DH and LO have a crazy bond already and I know a big part of that is because he was essentially the sole caregiver for the first week while I tried to heal physically and emotionally.
Married: October 2014
TTC #1 since September 2015
@megstervt glad to hear your doctor is on top of things. I've been thinking of you! Hang in there mama.
@theshannondee I don't think you sounded contrite or belittling at all. Having my induction go on for five days before it was considered failed (and me getting a fever, my baby's heart rate skyrocketing) only to discover there was no way I was ever going to vaginally deliver all 10lb 7oz of him really makes me wish the call was made sooner. In the end though we are happy, healthy and that's what really counts. I just look forward to the sting from those first moments to fade