My families are keeping it separate. DH family wanted to share a shower but my mom wanted nothing to do with sharing the "grandmother spotlight" with my MIL. (This is #2 for my side but #6 for DH side). While a combo would be easier I think both sides are use to this already. We told his folks this weekend and I know they weren't too happy but said nothing. We are doing a bbq sprinkle for his side and told them they could invite whoever they wanted since no one on DH side has said anything about doing an event. They haven't said much yet but we'll see. Just dont want hurt feelings on either side when this is suppose to be a great time of anticipation.
We just want to celebrate the kiddo... now on my side my mom wants an all out shower. LOL Parents!
I think the reaction depends on the type of person the in-law is but I wouldn't let a reaction deter you from what you prefer. If you feel you want to make it an open thing, you have a right of talking to the host and telling them that you would like to invide your SO's mom or sister and then let said mom/sister know that there's no pressure, there are obviously two showers and you'd love to see them at both but that there's no need for two gifts or obligation to show up.
My mom got a little weird when I told her I already had my shower and we didn't invite her. But she lives across the country and this was a shower thrown by work friends, even though my brothers were invited (they live in town and it's my only shower). But, with her, I think she just wants to be the perfect, 100% involved grandmother and will get hurt when we inevitably do baby prep without her. So that's why I think it depends on the person and what you want to do.
What did you wear?a black shirt and green pants- trying to find something cute was not happening for me!!
Was there a theme? Books! Their were kids books everywhere and everyone brought a kids book. Our wedding was also book themed so it matched!
Did it go as you expected/wanted? Share. It went better than expected! It was easy and went by pretty quick (big parties give me social anxiety) Got lots of stuff for the baby and tons of diapers!
What was your favorite part? Or least favorite part if applicable. Getting to catch up with everyone
Me: 32 DH: 31
TTC #2 since January 2018
Baby #1 DD Born 8/25/2016 BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
Thanks for all the responses. My sisters had already invited my MIL and SIL to our shower and they were asking if they were invited to the shower thrown by my husband's family. I just wasn't sure how to approach it. Our famlies only live 20 minutes from each other. But my mother in law, to say it nicely can be odd at times. This is only the 2nd grand child on their side and with the first my sister in law was a single mom so she definitely is not used to sharing the grandma role.
I have a question kind of in line with @drabong88 's.
My MIL is Chinese, baby showers before the baby comes along isn't a thing and she's never been to an American one so has no idea what to expect. My mom and BFF want to include her. I like the idea of writing down the gifts but there is a mild language barrier. She could write it in Chunese I guess and we could go back and translate. But I don't want her to feel pressured or embarrassed to ask what something is / what's it called in English. My cranky 75 year old FIL will be there too but we're already planning on just letting him rest in the recliner with snacks.
Any other ideas on how to include my MIL? She's really wanting to be involved but when I suggested for her to help cook she said she doesn't know how to cook for a crowd.
I apologize if this has already been asked/discussed! I haven't looked through the whole thread. Our baby shower is on July 15th and my mom and I only expect about 15 guests. I put quite a lot of things on our registry, knowing it wouldn't all get purchased but wanted the 10% completion discount. I keep checking the registry almost daily and barely anything has been purchased. Is it normal for people to wait until the very last minute to buy gifts? I know it's not all about the presents at the shower but I'm just trying to plan/budget for what is left on the registry!
@jensou my mom is kind of the same way, so to have her "help", I gave her a list of a few things we needed for the shower. She went out and shopped for them and felt involved in that manner. Plus she helped with clean up afterwards.
@ahackett1990 I was told that most people do buy gifts last minute, some forget to mark the registry, and some prefer to give whatever they think you need. In any case, if any gifts aren't to your likings/needs, you can return them for gift cards and perhaps buy off your registry in that manner. I did receive some beautiful handmade items though! PS what item(s) are you looking to purchase with the discount?
Kind of along the same lines as that, how does Amazon's completion discount work? Do you have to buy everything remaining to get the discount or you just get the discount on what you purchase after? We need literally everything since this is our first so I put everything I could think of. Big small and in between so people could choose. But if we still need to buy the crib and car seat plus there's 50 other things on there, do I get the discount on the crib and car seat alone? Sorry, dumb question!!
@rock1cherry You'll get a coupon code that will be good for a one time use. It'll give you the discount on everything you buy in that one transaction. However, with Amazon, check your registry and make sure the item qualifies for the completion discount. Not all items do. (From what I can tell, the discount is only good on items the fill themselves, but I'm not 100% on that.) The items that qualify will be marked in the top, left corner in blue and say "completion discount".
Ooh good point @camichael84 I will have to check that out. Most of the reason I did Amazon was just convenience for people far away and for shipping direct to me since my shower is in Canada. But also for the Amazon family deals later. Will have to check that out. Thanks for the tip!
@ahackett1990 to be honest, very few people buy from the registry for showers. I confirmed that with our shower as we didn't get one thing we had put on our registry. I didn't care because a gift is a gift and I honestly wasn't even expecting so many people and presents but yeah. The only people that have bought us things from the registry are some family members that are close to us but live far away (MIL, SIL, etc).
I apologize if this has already been asked/discussed! I haven't looked through the whole thread. Our baby shower is on July 15th and my mom and I only expect about 15 guests. I put quite a lot of things on our registry, knowing it wouldn't all get purchased but wanted the 10% completion discount. I keep checking the registry almost daily and barely anything has been purchased. Is it normal for people to wait until the very last minute to buy gifts? I know it's not all about the presents at the shower but I'm just trying to plan/budget for what is left on the registry!
3 possibilities: 1. People are waiting until that last minute. 2. You will be getting gift cards instead. 3. You will be getting things that aren't on your registry.
I am in the same boat and, unfortunately, will just have to wait to find out!
@frogdog06 I'm expecting quite a few handmade blankets will be given lol. There aren't too many big items left, as siblings and parents snatched those up right away. But there are still a couple mid-high range priced pieces left that I want the discount for. Such as the ergo baby carrier, baby gate, a starter bottle set and sterilizer, a couple decorative things for the nursery. Mostly stuff that I know my husband can't understand why I picked what I did and he will just want to grab the cheapest stuff he can find. I want that discount to help him be okay with spending a bit more for quality lol.
I really hope people buy off my registry lol I've always shopped off of registries so it's strange to me that some people don't. But a gift is a gift and I'll be thankful for anything
Yes I'm really hoping people buy from our registry. That's the stuff we really need (literally everything)! I am grateful for whatever I get, but I'd rather get supplies and such over 800 newborn outfits. I already got a bunch of clothes from people (they're excited, what can I say?) and I have all of my handmade baby outfits coming my way as well...so we will have plenty of clothing. Lol
I have a shower question and hopefully it makes sense since I am tired at work Did anyone have a shower from both your side and your SO's side? If so, was your mom/sisters invited to the shower thrown by your SO's family? Or were they completely seperate. From my past experience with sister was we were invited to the shower hosted by her husbands family and his mom and sister were invited to the shower we threw? I'm just wondering other peoples experience with this as my SO's sister said they were not planning on inviting my mom/sisters to the shower they were throwing, that they wanted it to be seperate...
I live in town with my DHs family and my parents are about 3 hours away. So we have always done two showers. My mom is always invited to the showers here, and my MIL and SILs are always invited to the ones in my hometown. I don't know why they'd want to keep them separate? The more the merrier in my opinion, plus youre all family... But that's just my opinion!
Regarding Amazon - if you're a Prime member, have something purchased off the registry, and "complete" your registry by clicking on the suggestions in Jumpstart (just say you have it already if it's not something you want) you can get a free baby box.
Mine is on the way but I'll be sure to let you know if it's good. And if somebody already mentioned it - sorry for the repeat.
ETA: I am surprised at how many people are buying off our registry. I'm just stuffing the things in gift bags and placing in my pack n play for guests who will be there this Sunday. It's hard not to look though bc the stuff is so cute!!!
What was your favorite part? Or least favorite part if applicable.
Any pictures you want to share?
1) July 3rd 2) We had 22 people join us in our home 3) I wore white linen pants w/ a Navy lace maternity top 4) The theme was nautical and coral 5) I was so glad when it finally started. My MIL was driving me crazy and I'd been trying to get the house clean for all the guests. My mother, unfortunately was admitted to the hospital for asthma exacerbation (and refused to let me cancel or reschedule the shower!). My BFF who's on leave from deployment overseas stepped in her place and took over. But as soon as Karen came over she put my MIL to work on little things and as soon as it started i just sat down and enjoyed the fun. 6) least favorite was getting ready. Just one instance; My daughter made the cake and cupcakes but we were up til 1:30 am the night before because the first cake didn't rise properly. She's 16 and does a good job but still needs advice / direction. All the kitchen clean up and frosting everywhere! The cake was AH-MAZING so it was worth it and she really enjoyed all the complements. Clean up after the party wasn't too bad, we mainly used disposable stuff so that made it easy. Hopefully not too huge bc I'm mobile bumping but pic of the nautical / coral theme. This was one of the shower games; guess how many gold fish.
The games were super fun; baby jeopardy, guess that baby food, baby price is right, and baby Picasso (where you try to draw a baby while blindfolded). The guys played poker and since the buy-in was $10 plus pack of diapers, we hauled in a lot of diapers. Each table had 4 players so some guys won $30. And the other shower games had $5 and $10 Starbucks and panera gift cards.
How many people attended? Around 25-30? Maybe 20 adults and a handful of kiddos
What did you wear? Pink khaki shorts, flip-flops, and a black blouse
Was there a theme? No, just 1 baby-themed "It's a Boy!" banner, all other decorations were for the Fourth - red white and blue balloons, banners, flags, etc
Did it go as you expected/wanted? Share. Yes, although my kiddo ended up wanting to be carried around for most of it, we had a wonderful time.
What was your favorite part? Or least favorite part if applicable. Favorite part was getting to see friends and family from near and far. Felt the love for sure.
Any pictures you want to share? I literally didn't snap a single picture. That's how it goes when you're mingling, toddler wrangling and just enjoying life. Oh well!
My besties just sent out evite and I realized I forgot to add my Mom to guest list. I need my high powered memory back. 12 more weeks, 12 more weeks....
Sorry if this question has been asked before, but I have a shower etiquette question. We have received many gifts shipped directly to our home from people who are attending the shower. At the shower, do I just generally say thank you to all of you who sent gifts to our home, or do I say each persons name individually and what they bought?
@BabyBoyH92016 I don't know what etiquette states, exactly, but I think it would feel weird to sit up front and list off people and gifts that had come before the shower. Instead, I would thank each person individually as you mingle for the gifts they got you and, of course, send a formal thank you note as well. If it works to casually mention a previously-received gift (like, "Oh! This blanket is going to look great with the sheets Aunt So-And-So gifted us!") then it's fine but otherwise, I wouldn't bring them up to the group.
@BabyBoyH92016 - I definitely don't know the real etiquette. I would make sure that those gifts were on display where guests will leave their gifts, and make a general statement either before or after opening gifts about the wonderful gifts that were shipped in advance and how grateful you are. I don't think there's a need to show off every single item and who sent it, but as Jenn mentioned, a thank you card specific to that item will show that you are thankful and attentive as to what they sent.
For anything that will be shipped to me ahead of time I just plan to say aloud along with the thank yous for the gifts received that day, thank you to those who shipped gifts directly to me and thank you for coming of course. My shower is in Canada so i asked for large items to be shipped to me directly. I have a fairly small car and don't want to be hassled at the border over gifts I receive so it's really the most convenient thing for me. I think it's important to thank people in person and to obviously send a thank you note as well.
I am having a total of three showers: one for my family who lives across the country (already done), one at work, and one for a few friends in Atlanta where I live. I think the one in Atlanta will be small, maybe 8-10 people, and I am thinking of having it as a brunch at a local restaurant. Is this inappropriate? Will the servers be pissed? Anyone have any experience or thoughts on this?
@jas1982 I had a small bridal shower with a few out of town guests before my wedding at a restaurant and I didn't notice it disturbing anyone. We did it at a restaurant though that had a banquet room so we were sewerage from the rest of the restaurant. I just saw a small group doing a baby shower at a restaurant though a couple of days ago in the main sitting area. The restaurant wasn't busy and they weren't loud or anything so I think it was fine as well.
@megan324 - Yes and no. I think technically it's against etiquette to include registry info on any invite, BUT the whole point of a shower is to give a gift so I think most guests will find it more helpful than off-putting.
When was your shower? Saturday! How many people attended? 15 or so - it was a co-ed and all couples What did you wear? white capris and a blue top Was there a theme? Is "stay for the UFC fight" a theme?! Did it go as you expected/wanted? Share. It was really really really fun! By far one of the best baby showers I've ever been to it was very casual and laid back, and had more of a "BBQ with gifts" feel than a full on baby shower feel. After all the yard games, food, and whatnot, we all stayed to watch a UFC fight. Unfortunately for DH, I just COULD NOT stay awake for the "big one" and we had to bounce right before. What was your favorite part? Or least favorite part if applicable. Best part: Getting together with everyone for a summer celebration! And all the goodies were perfect!
Worst part: (**TW** mentions previous loss) So one of our friends discovered that I had a loss before this baby. We were talking about past weddings and this friend brought up how we were "pre-gaming so hard" before a wedding we went to last fall, and I was like, no, I wasn't pre-gaming, most sober guest ever for that one, and it unfolded that I was pregnant at the time, but had a loss shortly after, which most people at the party knew about, but apparently she was absent when we shared that news. Instead of a typical (and generally appreciated) "oh, that's so horrible to hear, I'm so sorry, etc." she thought it'd be wise to ask a bunch of very personal questions. Like "how long did you bleed after, was it painful, did they give you medications? how did you know, etc" and it was so awkward and weird and I really didn't want to play 21 questions about one of my most heart-wrenching and painful experiences especially not at a party that is meant to celebrate me and the new life I'm (thankfully!) creating. I'm glad I had other friends who helped shut her down because she was being relentless and clueless. It was like, you know, i get that you're curious, but google will be able to answer 99% of your questions and the other 1% isn't appropriate either.
Any pictures you want to share? Sadly, I didn't take any
@Megan324 - Etiquette would say that it is absolutely inappropriate and gift grabby to do so, but we definitely did it with our first. Although we made up a registry this time as a checklist for ourselves (and for completion discount) we did not advertise it anywhere as it would have completely contradicted our repetitions of "please, no gifts necessary" but also saying "but if you DOOO want to buy one, here's a list of things we want!" lol
@PoodleDoodleOoo Wow I'm sorry that happened. It's horrible at any time, but especially at an event that was meant to be a celebration of you and your new family!
@jas1982 I actually just had that exact type of shower at a restaurant in Atlanta on Saturday! The friend who "hosted" told the restaurant that we'd be having a large group for a baby shower, mostly because she was planning to bring some centerpieces for the tables. We were at a long table with other people around us, but did presents at the table with plenty of pictures. No one seemed to think it was weird! I figure, restaurants are used to big groups doing birthdays/retirements/etc. where people bring cakes, gifts, or other party-type things, so the shower wasn't really any different!
Hi ladies! Does anyone have thoughts on a thank-you gift for people who took the time to throw you a shower? Mine is coming up on the 23rd and has been a combined effort between my mom, sister, aunt, mother-in-law, aunt-in-law and grandma. I want to do something nice but I am not sure what. Has anyone done something for those that put on the shower? It is at a banquet hall with about 65 guests attending I think.
Married: 3/21/15 First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
Re: The Baby Shower Thread
My families are keeping it separate. DH family wanted to share a shower but my mom wanted nothing to do with sharing the "grandmother spotlight" with my MIL. (This is #2 for my side but #6 for DH side). While a combo would be easier I think both sides are use to this already. We told his folks this weekend and I know they weren't too happy but said nothing. We are doing a bbq sprinkle for his side and told them they could invite whoever they wanted since no one on DH side has said anything about doing an event. They haven't said much yet but we'll see. Just dont want hurt feelings on either side when this is suppose to be a great time of anticipation.
We just want to celebrate the kiddo... now on my side my mom wants an all out shower. LOL Parents!
My mom got a little weird when I told her I already had my shower and we didn't invite her. But she lives across the country and this was a shower thrown by work friends, even though my brothers were invited (they live in town and it's my only shower). But, with her, I think she just wants to be the perfect, 100% involved grandmother and will get hurt when we inevitably do baby prep without her. So that's why I think it depends on the person and what you want to do.
How many people attended? 17 + me
What did you wear? a black shirt and green pants- trying to find something cute was not happening for me!!
Was there a theme? Books! Their were kids books everywhere and everyone brought a kids book. Our wedding was also book themed so it matched!
Did it go as you expected/wanted? Share. It went better than expected! It was easy and went by pretty quick (big parties give me social anxiety) Got lots of stuff for the baby and tons of diapers!
What was your favorite part? Or least favorite part if applicable. Getting to catch up with everyone
BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
My MIL is Chinese, baby showers before the baby comes along isn't a thing and she's never been to an American one so has no idea what to expect. My mom and BFF want to include her. I like the idea of writing down the gifts but there is a mild language barrier. She could write it in Chunese I guess and we could go back and translate. But I don't want her to feel pressured or embarrassed to ask what something is / what's it called in English. My cranky 75 year old FIL will be there too but we're already planning on just letting him rest in the recliner with snacks.
Any other ideas on how to include my MIL? She's really wanting to be involved but when I suggested for her to help cook she said she doesn't know how to cook for a crowd.
BFP: 12/29/15 EDD: 9/15/16!! Please be our miracle baby!
@ahackett1990 I was told that most people do buy gifts last minute, some forget to mark the registry, and some prefer to give whatever they think you need. In any case, if any gifts aren't to your likings/needs, you can return them for gift cards and perhaps buy off your registry in that manner. I did receive some beautiful handmade items though! PS what item(s) are you looking to purchase with the discount?
1. People are waiting until that last minute.
2. You will be getting gift cards instead.
3. You will be getting things that aren't on your registry.
I am in the same boat and, unfortunately, will just have to wait to find out!
BFP: 12/29/15 EDD: 9/15/16!! Please be our miracle baby!
BFP: 12/29/15 EDD: 9/15/16!! Please be our miracle baby!
Mine is on the way but I'll be sure to let you know if it's good. And if somebody already mentioned it - sorry for the repeat.
ETA: I am surprised at how many people are buying off our registry. I'm just stuffing the things in gift bags and placing in my pack n play for guests who will be there this Sunday. It's hard not to look though bc the stuff is so cute!!!
2) We had 22 people join us in our home
3) I wore white linen pants w/ a Navy lace maternity top
4) The theme was nautical and coral
5) I was so glad when it finally started. My MIL was driving me crazy and I'd been trying to get the house clean for all the guests. My mother, unfortunately was admitted to the hospital for asthma exacerbation (and refused to let me cancel or reschedule the shower!). My BFF who's on leave from deployment overseas stepped in her place and took over. But as soon as Karen came over she put my MIL to work on little things and as soon as it started i just sat down and enjoyed the fun.
6) least favorite was getting ready. Just one instance; My daughter made the cake and cupcakes but we were up til 1:30 am the night before because the first cake didn't rise properly. She's 16 and does a good job but still needs advice / direction. All the kitchen clean up and frosting everywhere! The cake was AH-MAZING so it was worth it and she really enjoyed all the complements. Clean up after the party wasn't too bad, we mainly used disposable stuff so that made it easy.
Hopefully not too huge bc I'm mobile bumping but pic of the nautical / coral theme. This was one of the shower games; guess how many gold fish.
The games were super fun; baby jeopardy, guess that baby food, baby price is right, and baby Picasso (where you try to draw a baby while blindfolded). The guys played poker and since the buy-in was $10 plus pack of diapers, we hauled in a lot of diapers. Each table had 4 players so some guys won $30. And the other shower games had $5 and $10 Starbucks and panera gift cards.
Mine have already been sent out without them but I was just wondering what your thoughts were.
Saturday!
How many people attended?
15 or so - it was a co-ed and all couples
What did you wear?
white capris and a blue top
Was there a theme?
Is "stay for the UFC fight" a theme?!
Did it go as you expected/wanted? Share.
It was really really really fun! By far one of the best baby showers I've ever been to
What was your favorite part? Or least favorite part if applicable.
Best part: Getting together with everyone for a summer celebration! And all the goodies were perfect!
Worst part: (**TW** mentions previous loss) So one of our friends discovered that I had a loss before this baby. We were talking about past weddings and this friend brought up how we were "pre-gaming so hard" before a wedding we went to last fall, and I was like, no, I wasn't pre-gaming, most sober guest ever for that one, and it unfolded that I was pregnant at the time, but had a loss shortly after, which most people at the party knew about, but apparently she was absent when we shared that news. Instead of a typical (and generally appreciated) "oh, that's so horrible to hear, I'm so sorry, etc." she thought it'd be wise to ask a bunch of very personal questions. Like "how long did you bleed after, was it painful, did they give you medications? how did you know, etc" and it was so awkward and weird and I really didn't want to play 21 questions about one of my most heart-wrenching and painful experiences especially not at a party that is meant to celebrate me and the new life I'm (thankfully!) creating. I'm glad I had other friends who helped shut her down because she was being relentless and clueless. It was like, you know, i get that you're curious, but google will be able to answer 99% of your questions and the other 1% isn't appropriate either.
Any pictures you want to share? Sadly, I didn't take any
I am horrified for you. I am so sorry!
First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years