@blondie080300 I got each of my shower hosts a nice bottle of wine and some chocolates, along with a heartfelt note of thanks. It wasn't much but I think they appreciated it!
What are your thoughts on thank you notes for a baby q / diaper party? Do you think we should send thank yous for the diapers and wipes we receive? We put a note on our invite "no other gifts necessary", but some people have already said they're doing more / I received a gift yesterday from someone who can't make it to the party and inside was diapers, wipes and an outfit. I plan to send thank yous for any extra gifts but do you think I should send thank yous for attending the party and for the diapers?? We went to one other party like this before and did not get a thank you. (We gave two bags of diapers and a box of wipes and an outfit) just not sure on the etiquette for this!
Honestly, I didn't think about it at the time @megan324 but now that we are having our own it reminded me we didn't get one. We just went to a 1st bday party for the same person as the diaper party - will see if we get a thank you for that gift...
@blondie080300 I got my host a nice candle, Starbucks gift card, and a bottle of pink (because I was having a girl) nail polish. But only my SIL hosted it, so it was easier to do one big gift. I think a thank you gift is definitely in order for any shower (I've given and received them anytime I threw/had one), but what you get them should be what you're comfortable with. Given how many helped with your shower, I really like the brunch and chocolate idea.
Eta: I also did a Thank You card with a personal note from me in it.
Speaking of gifts for hosts... my SIL planned our shower. When she offered, she had no idea what we would have wanted to do. I told her early on we wanted just a BBQ at our place. At one point I'd mentioned maybe 2-4 for the shower but then we attended one that was like 330-over dinner time and really enjoyed that. So I suggested to her we could do that and have hamburgers/hot dogs for dinner (going in line with my very original comment we'd want a BBQ). My shower is this weekend. A week ago she asked my husband if we were paying for the hot dog and hamburger things because she "hadn't planned on it being a dinner and doesn't have enough money". So he said sure because obviously people are planning to stay for dinner and if she's not going to pay then we'll have to supply the food...So I just text DH after reading this thread asking if we should get her anything as a thanks and he said "yeah we could pay for all the food". Touché. I will definitely thank her publicly at the shower for putting it together, but DH is really not interested in paying more money to get her something.
Hostess gift question, My one aunt is the one who is throwing the shower but it is at one of my other aunts house. Gift for both of them right? Oh and my MIL helped plan it so do I get her a gift too??
Hostess gift question, My one aunt is the one who is throwing the shower but it is at one of my other aunts house. Gift for both of them right? Oh and my MIL helped plan it so do I get her a gift too??
That whole shower has been a nightmare for me.
Hmm I would say gift for all of them. sorry it's been a nightmare what's going on?
@Megan324 I'd say yes, gift for all three. I'm not sure how equally they contributed, but they all did, and I'd hate to put one out for not recognizing it.
Ill try and keep this short and sweet lol but basically my aunt mary offered to throw me the shower but then never really asked/told me about anything, I had to call her to ask her to set a date like 2 weeks ago because, hello, times a ticking lol. but then my MIL sent me a list in the mail of like 15 people that expected to be invited to the shower from her side of the family. My Aunt never asked me for a guest list or asked if I had anyone to invite, so I felt really uncomfortable. I told my aunt about the list and she said "oh well maybe they want to throw you their own shower" (Side note- Ive mentioned before that I have only met his family once before so i definitely didnt expect them to throw me a shower and MIL is already throwing one for her daughter so its not like I was going to ask her to throw me a separate one too) I have a rocky relationship with my aunts and I have been trying to rebuild it so I didn't want to step on any toes there but then I am just building the relationship with my MIL and I don't want to start out by offending her family. My aunt and MIL talked and her fam is coming to the shower but then my aunt told me that she isn't sending out formal invites. Since I already had the list I just wrote up some invites myself. My MIL got my invite and called me and said that she was going to send out invites too and neither of us was going to tell the other because be both felt awkward and we had a laugh about that so thankfully that went over okay .
This whole thing has been so stressful and I feel so caught in the middle! I will be happy when its all over lol. @camichael84@RG1
@Megan324 oh man that sounds very awkward and stressful! Definitely will be a relief when it's over. It's hard when you know you should feel grateful but you just feel stressed out. Makes it feel like more trouble than it's worth.
@Megan324 Your aunt sounds like my MIL. She threw my SIL's bridal and baby showers. She apparently doesn't believe in formal invites. And didn't plan anything until like a week before the shower. Then, with the bridal shower, she changed the location at the last minute. I didn't even know she'd changed it until I called on my way there! I can totally see how stressful of a situation that all is. I hope it all goes smoothly from here on out and that you can sit back and enjoy yourself the day of!
@RG1@camichael84 Thank you! It has been so very awkward and I told FI that at this point I don't even want a shower lol. but I am sure it will be fine now that it is all planned and set. The only thing I worry about now is how the 2 families will mix. but whatever haha
Hi ladies! Does anyone have thoughts on a thank-you gift for people who took the time to throw you a shower? Mine is coming up on the 23rd and has been a combined effort between my mom, sister, aunt, mother-in-law, aunt-in-law and grandma. I want to do something nice but I am not sure what. Has anyone done something for those that put on the shower? It is at a banquet hall with about 65 guests attending I think.
argh! Stuck in the box. Anyhow, I bought the gals that threw my shower last time a lotion gift set from Body Shop. It was a tub of body butter, I think a foot scrub and another type of lotion in a pretty box. Worked perfectly!
Speaking of gifts for hosts... my SIL planned our shower. When she offered, she had no idea what we would have wanted to do. I told her early on we wanted just a BBQ at our place. At one point I'd mentioned maybe 2-4 for the shower but then we attended one that was like 330-over dinner time and really enjoyed that. So I suggested to her we could do that and have hamburgers/hot dogs for dinner (going in line with my very original comment we'd want a BBQ). My shower is this weekend. A week ago she asked my husband if we were paying for the hot dog and hamburger things because she "hadn't planned on it being a dinner and doesn't have enough money". So he said sure because obviously people are planning to stay for dinner and if she's not going to pay then we'll have to supply the food...So I just text DH after reading this thread asking if we should get her anything as a thanks and he said "yeah we could pay for all the food". Touché. I will definitely thank her publicly at the shower for putting it together, but DH is really not interested in paying more money to get her something.
When you listed the times, I thought you meant the number of guests and I was like, "she wants 2-4 people there? And she went to one with 330 people?!?! What??" I had a moment.
@MrsVoorhees@Megan324 LOL oops. There is only going to be 13 people (2 are kids, 2 are me and DH) since my work is holding me a separate shower so kind of close to 2-4 lol. I just got a text from her saying she can't afford us a customized cake and wondered what she should do. I just wanted the shower and don't want to be dictating things so I'm tired of the questions lol. She is literally buying plates and cutlery for 13 people and getting a cake since we are providing food. Blah. I don't get why she would offer to host if it's not in her budget (also we know how much she makes and it's more than us). I'll also be excited when it's done!
eta: I sound ungrateful. But I just wanted this process to not really involve me and that's how I pictured it happening. I wouldn't really have wanted something if I had to stress about it
@RG1 ugh annoying lol sounds like my brother who is throwing FI a diaper party but asked me to buy all the food (he wanted me to buy steak for 12 people lol you're getting hotdogs)
Just had my work shower! It was a lot of fun with a lot of really tasty food (it was a potluck shower!) The best part is that they bought Fred, my dog, a "big brother" gift, and he was just so excited about his new bone that I couldn't resist giving it to him right there on the spot! He's been one happy camper since! Everything else went perfectly and I loved the gifts they pooled together to buy!
@MrsVoorhees@Megan324 LOL oops. There is only going to be 13 people (2 are kids, 2 are me and DH) since my work is holding me a separate shower so kind of close to 2-4 lol. I just got a text from her saying she can't afford us a customized cake and wondered what she should do. I just wanted the shower and don't want to be dictating things so I'm tired of the questions lol. She is literally buying plates and cutlery for 13 people and getting a cake since we are providing food. Blah. I don't get why she would offer to host if it's not in her budget (also we know how much she makes and it's more than us). I'll also be excited when it's done!
eta: I sound ungrateful. But I just wanted this process to not really involve me and that's how I pictured it happening. I wouldn't really have wanted something if I had to stress about it
to be honest thats they way it should be. if someone is throwing a shower for you - you should just be able to show up. the showers for my inlaws/ my parents are alot of input or buying from us so part of me wishes we just didnt do anything and save the energy, money and stress.But i know they are looking forward to them so we'll see how this plays out! patience and know everyone has good intentions.
ps - who sells cutlery for 13 people? that so random, just order a small cake and give yourself a gold star if she's that determined!
@MrsVoorhees@Megan324 LOL oops. There is only going to be 13 people (2 are kids, 2 are me and DH) since my work is holding me a separate shower so kind of close to 2-4 lol. I just got a text from her saying she can't afford us a customized cake and wondered what she should do. I just wanted the shower and don't want to be dictating things so I'm tired of the questions lol. She is literally buying plates and cutlery for 13 people and getting a cake since we are providing food. Blah. I don't get why she would offer to host if it's not in her budget (also we know how much she makes and it's more than us). I'll also be excited when it's done!
eta: I sound ungrateful. But I just wanted this process to not really involve me and that's how I pictured it happening. I wouldn't really have wanted something if I had to stress about it
to be honest thats they way it should be. if someone is throwing a shower for you - you should just be able to show up. the showers for my inlaws/ my parents are alot of input or buying from us so part of me wishes we just didnt do anything and save the energy, money and stress.But i know they are looking forward to them so we'll see how this plays out! patience and know everyone has good intentions.
ps - who sells cutlery for 13 people? that so random, just order a small cake and give yourself a gold star if she's that determined!
Haha I think she's just getting plastic cutlery from the dollar store, probably for more than 13 people though lol. I think the smallest bag is 20
@Megan324 I hate to sound cynical but I am quickly learning that it is hard NOT to rock the boat with the mother-in-law. I just learned that mine was venting to my husband last night about things that are bothering her about my shower. She is SO sensitive. My mom and sister offered to host the shower and they asked if my mother-in-law wanted to help/go in on it with them and she agreed. I have been trying so hard to stay out of everything so I can just show up since I am SO busy with work and trying to prepare for the baby. But my mother-in-law has been making it impossible and always goes to DH and I with questions, complaints, etc. She obviously isn't comfortable enough to go to my mom or sister but DH and I want nothing to do with the planning so it is frustrating that she keeps trying to pull us in. And just when I thought everything was finally good, I learned that she called DH last night to vent about how she is contributing all this money and hasn't felt she was involved enough in the decisions, etc. I just want to cut her a check and tell her she doesn't have to give anything if she doesn't want to. I mean, what does she expect us to do? All of the decisions have been made at this point and the shower is in a little over a week. But DH is super empathetic and is all stressed out that his mom laid all this crap on him. And now I am stressed because I hate that MIL is unhappy and my mom and sister are clueless and think they all worked happily together to throw the shower.
Sigh. Sorry for the rant. It's just that she sucked the fun out of the shower for me. I have been married a little over a year and am already swearing to myself I will NOT be this type of mom to my son where I manipulate and guilt him to get my way with everything.
Married: 3/21/15 First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
@blondie080300 Ugh, so frustrating! I'm sorry you're going through this, but I feel a bit better knowing im not the only one who was dragged into shower decisions without wanting to be : D. I hope we can all have a good time at our showers and breathe a sigh of relief when they're over. The joy has definitely been sucked out of my shower too - such a drag.
@blondie080300 sounds like your MIL is making the shower all about her. What does it matter if she just provided money for it? Does she need everyone to gloat about how great her decisions were? Or does she want her DIL to have a great shower? People.
Mom is throwing me a baby sprinkle at a local restaurant, about 30 guests, it'll be co-ed, I want my husband to be there and so will my friends husbands. the more the merrier!
@MrsVoorhees Ikr?! On another note, she is also unhappy about our decision to not want family at the hospital until after the baby is born. She was really putting pressure on DH to be allowed to be in the waiting room. Since I am practicing hypnobirthing, I don't want any distractions, pressure, etc. to take away from my calm, relaxed state I am hoping to achieve. Plus, we will want 1-2 hours of skin-to-skin time, etc. MIL, this is not about YOU! The hospital is 10 mins from her house so she can wait there and we will let her know when we are ready for visitors.
Married: 3/21/15 First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
@blondie080300 - my MIL is VERY "woe is me" about everything in life. Last time she wanted to help with the baby shower, so my sister involved her (same with my bridal shower). Baby shower was book themed, the women who threw it brought certain foods and propped a related book behind it, and all guests brought books. The cake was a Winnie the Pooh cake and MIL wanted to get a Pooh book to go with it. She had to make the BIGGEST deal about how the book was $30!!! Ok.. you wanted to contribute, no one told you to get the entire anthology of classic Pooh to go with the cake, other books were basic $5 board books. Ugh.
ETA: My kid is a book fiend, and never wants to read the Pooh because there are hardly any pictures and pretty long text. It makes me kind of happy.
@AnnaS930 Ew, we might have the same MIL. So self absorbed!
She calls my husband frequently and says "how are you?" and before he can answer "Good" she has already launched into everything that is going horribly wrong, or wonderful, or anywhere in between in her life. I swear, he gets a play-by-play of wake-up to bedtime of every day of her life. She is a typical me-monster.
Have you ever heard of Brian Regan's comedy? He does a bit on me-monsters and it is SO dead on. At least it lets me laugh about it instead of being simply annoyed at all times.
@AnnaS930 Yes, we definitely have the same MIL then! She calls simply to talk about herself, makes every conversation about herself and will tell the same stories 1000000x...you guessed it..about herself!
What did you wear? a white shirt with a maternity belt, green pants. It was just a casual BBQ at our place
Was there a theme? not really, just "it's a boy" and blue and white decorations
Did it go as you expected/wanted? Share. Yes, it was nice to see some friends that came in from out of town and my parents flew in. The food was all good and we played some fun games.
What was your favorite part? Or least favorite part if applicable. We all sat around outside playing Heads Up on my friends phone. It was so fun! Also, my friends mom sewed us 12 all in one diapers and 12 homemade cloth wipes, and gave us 7 Bummies covers she found at a yard sale. So amazing!
Any pictures you want to share? Heres a sideways pic of the cake (was soooo yummy), and decorations. There was food on the table inside but we moved it out when the day got nicer!
What did you wear? A blue and white patterned maxi dress with sandals
Was there a theme? Gender Reveal
Did it go as you expected/wanted? Share. Loved how intimate it was and it reminded me that it's not just about numbers and gifts but about the quality time you spend with loved ones. Appreciated that my family and friends made a big effort to help share celebrate this special time.
What was your favorite part? Or least favorite part if applicable. The speeches, photos and games.
Was there a theme? Not really- lots of pink and everyone knew we are doing an elephant themed nursery so there were lots of elephant gifts! We had the shower at a little French style pastry cafe which is attached to this really old building where we had our wedding reception 2 years ago.
Did it go as you expected/wanted? Share. It was great! Everyone had a good time and it was really classy. My mom planned every little detail and her OCD definitely paid off
What was your favorite part? Or least favorite part if applicable. My mom planned a 'Make the baby a headband' station. So everyone picked out handmade bows/flowers/rhinestones to attach to headbands. My mom also asked everyone to bring a book for the baby instead of a card and write a little note to her inside. I loved that idea!
Re: The Baby Shower Thread
Anddd for 2 bags of diapers and outfit and wipes I would have expected a thank you note lol did you feel weird that you didn't get one?
Eta: I also did a Thank You card with a personal note from me in it.
my SIL planned our shower. When she offered, she had no idea what we would have wanted to do. I told her early on we wanted just a BBQ at our place. At one point I'd mentioned maybe 2-4 for the shower but then we attended one that was like 330-over dinner time and really enjoyed that. So I suggested to her we could do that and have hamburgers/hot dogs for dinner (going in line with my very original comment we'd want a BBQ). My shower is this weekend. A week ago she asked my husband if we were paying for the hot dog and hamburger things because she "hadn't planned on it being a dinner and doesn't have enough money". So he said sure because obviously people are planning to stay for dinner and if she's not going to pay then we'll have to supply the food...So I just text DH after reading this thread asking if we should get her anything as a thanks and he said "yeah we could pay for all the food". Touché. I will definitely thank her publicly at the shower for putting it together, but DH is really not interested in paying more money to get her something.
My one aunt is the one who is throwing the shower but it is at one of my other aunts house. Gift for both of them right? Oh and my MIL helped plan it so do I get her a gift too??
That whole shower has been a nightmare for me.
Sorry your shower has been stressful for you.
My Aunt never asked me for a guest list or asked if I had anyone to invite, so I felt really uncomfortable. I told my aunt about the list and she said "oh well maybe they want to throw you their own shower"
(Side note- Ive mentioned before that I have only met his family once before so i definitely didnt expect them to throw me a shower and MIL is already throwing one for her daughter so its not like I was going to ask her to throw me a separate one too)
I have a rocky relationship with my aunts and I have been trying to rebuild it so I didn't want to step on any toes there but then I am just building the relationship with my MIL and I don't want to start out by offending her family.
My aunt and MIL talked and her fam is coming to the shower but then my aunt told me that she isn't sending out formal invites.
Since I already had the list I just wrote up some invites myself. My MIL got my invite and called me and said that she was going to send out invites too and neither of us was going to tell the other because be both felt awkward and we had a laugh about that so thankfully that went over okay .
This whole thing has been so stressful and I feel so caught in the middle! I will be happy when its all over lol.
@camichael84 @RG1
The only thing I worry about now is how the 2 families will mix. but whatever haha
eta: I sound ungrateful. But I just wanted this process to not really involve me and that's how I pictured it happening. I wouldn't really have wanted something if I had to stress about it
ps - who sells cutlery for 13 people? that so random, just order a small cake and give yourself a gold star if she's that determined!
Sigh. Sorry for the rant. It's just that she sucked the fun out of the shower for me.
First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
aren't showers supposed to be a nice gift to pamper and honor the mom to be? Lol that's what I used to think
When was your shower? July 14th this is my 2nd baby shower. This time at work.
How many people attended? 30-35
What did you wear? Black pant suit (work clothes)
Was there a theme? Just baby blue
Did it go as you expected/wanted? Share. Yes it was a surprise baby shower lol
What was your favorite part? Or least favorite part if applicable. When I walked in and everyone yelled surprise! Lol
Any pictures you want to share?
First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
ETA: My kid is a book fiend, and never wants to read the Pooh because there are hardly any pictures and pretty long text. It makes me kind of happy.
Have you ever heard of Brian Regan's comedy? He does a bit on me-monsters and it is SO dead on. At least it lets me laugh about it instead of being simply annoyed at all times.
First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
How many people attended? 9 adults and a toddler
What did you wear? a white shirt with a maternity belt, green pants. It was just a casual BBQ at our place
Was there a theme? not really, just "it's a boy" and blue and white decorations
Did it go as you expected/wanted? Share. Yes, it was nice to see some friends that came in from out of town and my parents flew in. The food was all good and we played some fun games.
What was your favorite part? Or least favorite part if applicable. We all sat around outside playing Heads Up on my friends phone. It was so fun! Also, my friends mom sewed us 12 all in one diapers and 12 homemade cloth wipes, and gave us 7 Bummies covers she found at a yard sale. So amazing!
Any pictures you want to share?
Heres a sideways pic of the cake (was soooo yummy), and decorations. There was food on the table inside but we moved it out when the day got nicer!
How many people attended? About 20
What did you wear? A blue and white patterned maxi dress with sandals
Was there a theme? Gender Reveal
Did it go as you expected/wanted? Share. Loved how intimate it was and it reminded me that it's not just about numbers and gifts but about the quality time you spend with loved ones.
Appreciated that my family and friends made a big effort to help share celebrate this special time.
What was your favorite part? Or least favorite part if applicable. The speeches, photos and games.
Any pictures you want to share?
When was your shower? July 16th
How many people attended? 15
What did you wear? Blue and White maxi dress
Was there a theme? Not really- lots of pink and everyone knew we are doing an elephant themed nursery so there were lots of elephant gifts! We had the shower at a little French style pastry cafe which is attached to this really old building where we had our wedding reception 2 years ago.
Did it go as you expected/wanted? Share. It was great! Everyone had a good time and it was really classy. My mom planned every little detail and her OCD definitely paid off
What was your favorite part? Or least favorite part if applicable. My mom planned a 'Make the baby a headband' station. So everyone picked out handmade bows/flowers/rhinestones to attach to headbands. My mom also asked everyone to bring a book for the baby instead of a card and write a little note to her inside. I loved that idea!
Any pictures you want to share?
BFP: 12/29/15 EDD: 9/15/16!! Please be our miracle baby!