TTC After a Loss

TTCAL Check-in: Week of June 13

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Re: TTCAL Check-in: Week of June 13

  • JDMRSJDMRS member
    @lilylover27 happy anniversary to a fellow June bride!

    @dubcompanion haha me too! I had the flu the last time I got KU. It's counterintuitive but I'll take it. I'll be on vacation but I'll log on to give everyone an update!
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  • Aera11Aera11 member
    thank you @dubcompanion @JDMRS @lilylover27 @rainbowturtles ! It was just annoying.  I don't see how my NOT drinking alcohol at noon = me being pregnant.  

    @chloe97 happy to hear the new pup is working out!  What's his name?

    @JDMRS there is going to be lots of POAS this weekend, FX!!!
  • @Aera11Yep we got him last week. His name was Ernie, but we changed it to Barney after we spent more time with him.

    @dubcompanion Glad you have a plan for your EDD. We haven't really figured out what to do for ours yet. I'm taking the day off. Maybe we will go to a cubs game if they are in town. My next EDD for my 13 week pregnancy is a day of an important work meeting that I can't miss. Hopefully I will be super knocked up by then and feeling great about the pregnancy.
  • 1. A little new-I have been lurking. I have a MMC on 5/25 and D&C 5/27. I have to say, I am a little intimidated about how wonderful you all are about responding to one another--it's hard to try and catch up at 5:30! I feel a little like an a-hole for just posting my check in, but I'm gonna keep lurking and jump in as I catch up. 

    2. Benched for a cycle.

    3. Rant/Rave: I don't have much. I just want this cycle to be over so we can move on and TTC again, but I don't have regular periods so it could be 38-50 days. Awesome. 

    Also, I really go back and forth between whether our MC was a sign (which is stupid, I don't even realy believe in "signs") we should just adopt. I've always felt really conflicted about having a child vs adopting (our plan was to possibly have one of each), but I feel so intimidated by the adoption process, and don't know if I really want to stop TTC yet. I'm also probably not at my most rational right now...

    4. I just want to play outside--run, hike, kayak, and swim. Of course, it feels like it is taking forever to warm up right now, but it's at least been good for running. Also, beer. Right after my mc doing anything I couldn't do while I was KU felt like a celebration of not being KU. Slowly getting over that and looking forward to combining some hikes with brewery visits.
  • Welcome @Amdogger82 As always, wish you didn't have to be here, but there couldn't be a better place to be after such unfortunate circumstances <3 Sorry for your loss and don't worry about responding to everyone individually; just jump in when/where you can :)
  • @Amdogger82 Welcome and so sorry for your loss. No worries about catching up quickly - these are weekly updates for a reason, so you have all week to either respond or jump in when you can. We're happy to have you here but sad that you need to be. (We're women of constant conflicting emotions and part of the reason why we bond so well, lol!)

    I'm glad that you're getting comfortable again doing the things you enjoyed prior to being pregnant. I totally understand too that it feels like you're "celebrating" not being KU, but of course this isn't so. It's merely acceptance that life must move on. It's also healthy to get out there and run, kayak, swim, and enjoy things in general - even the breweries. :smile:
  • @Amdogger82 no pressure on the replies. I've never felt like there was a standard of participation. I had my miscarriage in early March, dropped off the radar while I was benched and these awesome ladies welcomed me back with open arms.
  • @Amdogger82 Right after my MC I would almost break down when I did things I could do since no longer pregnant. It is the worst!
  • JDMRSJDMRS member
    edited June 2016
    Welcome @Amdogger82 this board is awesome about letting people come and go as needed. Sometimes I need a break but everyone welcomes me back!

    @Aera11 I used to wonder about my dog because he has to pee on everything. But now I get it- I see a certain type of stick and I can't stop myself from peeing on it!

    **Edited because the mobile app cut off half of my response to @Aera11

  • @Amdogger82 very sorry for your loss. As all the other ladies said this is a great space. I too fall out of touch for days or a week at a time but never once has the ladies here made me feel unwelcome in coming back. I have to say between BMB and the TTGP board these are the sweetest ladies yet! I am very sorry you find yourself here but I hope we all help you feel welcomed and less alone.

    I definitely understand about the not wanting to celebrate not being KU. The first time we went out to dinner after the MC I didn't order a drink out of reflex until DH said I should that it was ok. It is in no celebrating not being KU but more getting back to how it was before.

    All that being said welcome and I hope your stay here is short!
    Married: June 2011
    TTC #1: September 2015-January 2016
    BFP #1: 1/25/16 - MMC Diagnosed 3/22/16
    TTCAL: June 2016
    BFP #2: 8/26/16 - EDD 5/9/17
    Jackson born 5/6/17 at 8:36 PM - 9lbs 5oz & 21in
      Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Aera11Aera11 member
    I know @Wishilivedinflorida, it irritates me the more I think about it -- I knew y'all would understand!  I really tried to not let it bother me then because that is not how I wanted to remember my grandmas funeral...but looking back, I do wish I or DH would have said something to her.  And yes, the Cheeseburger Festival is super fun!  They refer to it as 'Key North' where our lake house is, so it's an homage to Jimmy Buffet.  
  • @chloe97 I know of a fee nice areas in MI but they are the usual spots. My family never really traveled much since I grew up on a lake. So it's only been since I've been an adult that I have traveled around to more places. The Sleeping Bear Sand Dunes are really cool, Traverse City is a nice tourist destination with tons of wineries, and the UP is just tons of beautiful wilderness with tons of waterfalls. DH used to camp his whole childhood so he's going to show me around some of the less popular but still amazing areas. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Good Morning! @Amdogger82..you are not alone about not feeling timely, I'm usually a little late to the check in party! And of course I feel like I have to read all 50+ entries before I can write anything, lol.

    On a different note, @Aera11 that waitress comment for me kinda fires up first thing in the morning! So rude and ppl seriously have no idea it's offensive. I'm sorry you had to go through that. 

    2) I'm WTO, CD 10, and temping for the first time. I plan to do it the entire cycle to hopefully catch a late O. My OB just had me doing OPKs from CD13-19 and then a progesterone draw at CD23-25 and was telling me I wasn't ovulating. But I downloaded FF and looked at late O charts and plenty of ppl O well after CD25. So now I'm thinking maybe my OB had me super stressed out about being anovulatory and maybe I was just Oing late! 

    3) Rant - I had lost 4.5 lbs since June 1st, had a cheat day at my friends bachelorette party (only had maybe 5 drinks) and put 3.5 of those lbs back on! Grrrrrr!
       Rave - DH and I just found the local farmers market by our new house! And we BD'd 3x in the last 5 days, I feel like I'm getting my groove back!

    4) June and July are jam packed with fun activities for us...a horseshoe tournament (redneck), our third anniversary, my birthday, a wedding, and a golf tourney! Should be a fun cpl months and then August is pretty open so maybe we can squeeze in a cpl more fun things before fall gets here!
    DH - 34, Me - 32
    Married 7/13
    TTC #1 since 10/13
    BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15
    IUI #1 2/25/16

  • @chloe97 some other good places to check out in Michigan is Mackinac Island, Tahquamenon Falls, Pictured Rocks. We just went to some awesome wineries in Traverse City over memorial Day.
  • @Soontobemommahowe I O late and I talked to my OB about it and she didn't seem that concerned. The cycle I got pregnant, I O'd around CD26.
  • Aera11Aera11 member
    Thank you @SoonToBeMommaHowe, some people just don't think.  It sounds like you have a fun/busy summer ahead!
  • Thank you all for the support! 

    @SoonToBeMommaHowe I'm definitely a late O-er. I have irregular cycles in general. I knew this from temping, and when I saw an GYN in my new town for the first time she told me to ONLY have sex CD 12-14 and not the rest of my cycle in order to conserve sperm. If we did this we would always miss the egg completely. I know that there are varying thoughts throughout the medical community, but you would think those who have a career in reproduction would give better advice! Hoping you do catch a late O!
  • @Amdogger82 whaaaat?! That is brutal coming from a GYN! I really think some ladies here know more about this process than a lot of doctors lol (and I'm loving learning more and more!). I have a couple rare-ish chronic illnesses so I'm no stranger to getting false/conflicting info or blank stares from doctors but, come on, you'd think a GYN would at least know not everyone O's at CD14!!

    @SoonToBeMommaHowe sorry about the weight loss/weight gain, but some of it is likely water retention. It's so frustrating, tho. I try not to weigh myself but I'm bad about it. I know how hard you're working so don't be too hard on yourself <3 How long are your cycles btw? I have no doubts that temping will give you way more info and at the very least you have more to show your OB (or shove in her face lol "seeee! I DO ovulate!" lol) FX for you :)
  • JDMRSJDMRS member
    @Amdogger82 I O cd18, (precision like a freaking Swiss watch over here) so I feel your frustration with you GYN. I have had a few over my life, and some of them make me question their intelligence and training. Good luck! Are their any other doctors you can see in your town?

  • Agreed with all on the idea that our OBGYNs might not always know everything. I was talking to one once and mentioned temping. He was like, "Well that doesn't tell you anything, the only way to confirm ovulation is a blood test". Well....maybe in terms of positively, no doubt data, but I see clear ovulation/temp shift that correlates with ovulatory symptoms dude. 
  • I O anywhere from CD 10 - 22. My LP is consistent, though. And unless your husband has a MFI diagnosis you don't need to "conserve" sperm. 
  • @BornReady I've never admitted temping to my OB. It was actually my acupuncturist who made me start temping and I'm not even sure she was looking at Ovulation. She was focusing on the patterns of my temps. My first cycle temping ever she told me that I had to much "chaos" in my body. 
  • edited June 2016
    Hmmm such weird info from OBGYNs. After my first loss one of the OBs I saw for follow up told me just to "have sex on day 10,12,14, and 16 and call if I'm not pregnant in a few months." Gee, thanks. I'm pretty sure I have the getting pregnant part down, doc. I wasn't even asking for advice on that part either. 

    If only it were that simple. ::sigh::

    ETA: Mobile bump is awful today!
  • Only BD on CD 12-14?!?  @Amdogger82 your OB sounds like a moron (no offense if you really like her). But how the heck can she actually think everyone has a textbook 28 day cycle and not to mention what DHs reaction might be to telling him he only has three BDing days a cycle!

    @rainbowturtles I've put away the scale after that and just focusing on being active and getting to the gym at least 4-5 days a week. I think I'll just weigh myself once a month for progress. My pre-miscarriage cycles were consistently 31-33 days but I have been totally screwed up since (44, 37, 33, 36, 40, 44, 34(meds), 36(meds), 50, 45). So I'm hoping they'll get progressively shorter and eventually get back to my "normal" cycle. Has anyone else never gotten back preMC cycle length?
    DH - 34, Me - 32
    Married 7/13
    TTC #1 since 10/13
    BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15
    IUI #1 2/25/16

  • dubcompaniondubcompanion member
    edited June 2016
    @Amdogger82 I was just reading "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" last night, and the author states to NOT wait for days on end to BD (or to have the H hold off altogether on any sort of release). Otherwise, by the time he ejaculates after waiting for weeks, most of the sperm will be dead. In sum, what foolish advice an OB would give you. Like PP have said, I'd seriously question that OB's logic and I would see if you could go to a different doc.

    ETA: I'm assuming since the OB's rationale is to "conserve sperm", I gather they wouldn't want the H to be doing anything solo either.
  • ^ what she said. Even if there is a MFI diagnosis you just have sex every other day. Your H doesn't have to live like a priest and hoard his sperm. 
  • dubcompaniondubcompanion member
    edited June 2016
    Oh, shoot! My source was way off. I WAS reading TCOYF last night, but I actually got the source about sperm from this article on Expecting Science (shoutout to @chloe97 for posting an article about alcohol & pregnancy on a different thread, which led me to reading many other articles on the website). 

    It also states in that article that sex daily may even increase motility in men with low sperm count/low motility (if that's even an issue with your H, @Amdogger82 ).

    Sorry, just wanted to make sure I corrected myself. 
  • I know, it's nuts! We were just starting to TTC, so there were no issues to even suspect (like sperm). That was the first and last time I saw her. The next time I went to the Dr. was for my BFP and I was not going to let her near me at that point (other than to maybe tell her we conceived on CD 25!!). 
  • That's great @roper2617! so many fx for you.
    TW*** Child and loss mentioned
    Married 10/12
    DS 11/14
    Ectopic 2/16
    PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16
    IUI x 3- BFN
    Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage
    IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos
    FET- 6/17- BFP!
    Due Feb 15, 2017
  • JDMRSJDMRS member
    @roper2617  I am glad it went well! A good doc with a plan is such a comfort! 

    I didn't know you have a prolactin thing going on too! I had a prolactinoma DX in 2012 (that sucker was 33mm)- spontaneous lactation when I was certainly not PG was disturbing. 
  • CD13 here, WTO.

    No rants or raves this week!

    I'm looking forward to a long weekend trip to NYC this August with DH. I've got a solid plan that includes a Broadway show, Mets game and plenty of sightseeing :-)
    “Be present in all things and thankful for all things.”  ~Maya Angelou

    ~~~~ TW ~~~~~~

    Me: 40    DH: 39
    Married 12.19.13
    BFP #1 1/14, MC 2/14 (6wks)
    BFP #2 1/15, MMC/D&C 3/15 (12wks)
    BFP #3 6/15, MC 8/15 (9wks)
    BFP #4 4/16, MC 4/16 (5wks)
    BFP #5 7/16, MMC 8/16 (10 wks)
    BFP #6 3/4 , EDD 11/9/17
  • roper2617roper2617 member
    edited June 2016
    @JDMRS I just realized my wording was bad. To clarify, I would take metformin if I tested positive for diabetes, and whatever medication (really don't remember the name) if my prolactin levels are wonky. So it's not a for sure prolactin issue yet, but good to know there's someone here experiencing something similar if it is an issue.
    ------------------------------------------------------------
    Me: 26 DH: 28  
    TTC #1 since 06/2014
    BFP #1 09/23/15. MMC discovered 11/24/2015
    BFP #2 08/24/16 EDD 05/08/17


  • nmd9168nmd9168 member
    edited June 2016
    2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): Just started taking Provera to get things moving and was prescribed Clomid once AF makes her wonderful appearance. So WTO (and I'm making one of my own  acronyms) WFAF (waiting for AF) 

    3. Rants/raves: Rant: I've been trying to see a counselor for help dealing with emotional issues that have come from the MMC. The lady has cancelled my last 3 appointments, so I've really only seen her once for our intro appt. Also, I wish Provera worked more quickly that 10+days. 


    4. GTKY: What is something you are looking forward to this summer?
    I'm hoping for a BFP sometime this summer 
    :/ Other than that, my DH and I have 2 vacations coming up (one in Petoskey, MI off of the beautiful Lake Michigan and one in DC my first time!) I'm a history nut, so I'm excited for all of the museums and going to a Washington Nationals game. I <3 Baseball
    Me: 28 DH: 29
    Married: 4-25-2014
    TTC: March 2015
    BFP: 2-18-16
    Confirmed MMC: 3-31-16
    D&C: 4-2-16
    TTCAL: May 2016
    IUI: 5/13/17-Femara and Trigger, POAS 5/27/17 BFP 5/27/17



    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @nmd9168 we went to Petoskey last month, had a great time! Love DC too :)
  • cmmiller531cmmiller531 member
    edited June 2016
    I'm so sad... I wrote an entire post and it didn't all come up. RANT!
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