I've never really experienced "girl hate," but I'm also a FTM. I actually really want a girl, I'll be happy with either though. I have a very "high maintenance" personality, I love make-up, love to dress up, love to do my nails. I think that's why I want a daughter so much, but if I did have a daughter she'd probably get my cousin's personality. My cousin is a total tom boy, I don't think she ever wore a dress until her senior prom. She got more into girly stuff like getting her nails and hair done as she got older, but she still doesn't wear too much makeup. Girls can really turn out either way, just like boys can.
The last time I wore makeup was my wedding, nearly 4 years ago. Somehow DD knows how to "apply" fake makeup that a friend of mine gave her. She was not taught...just like she walks around with her toy phone against her ear propped by her shoulder (think old fashioned style, like when we all had landlines). She has never seen a landline...and I don't think we have ever walked around with out cell phones that way. But she knows. She likes talking on the phone while making food in her fake kitchen. Once I asked her a question and she said "shhhhh, on phone". She's a spunky 80 year old trapped in a 2 year old body!
I was a tom boy growing up. Although my next door neighbor was a girl 3 years older than me, I played with the boys closer in age and did all that stuff. I also had hand-me-downs from my cousins and would do boy stuff with them when we'd get together.
But, I also played with dolls and Barbies and everything else "girl" related. I was very t-shirts and jeans/shorts until about 8th grade, and then I got more into fashion and caring. And then it progressed from there. Now I love clothes, make-up, hair stuff, etc. I am very girly, although love sports and playing sports.
But, I am OK with having either a boy or a girl. I would love a girl, but won't be disappointed if I don't have one. Plus, most people with boys and girls say that boys are easier. However, our youngest nephew is now 4 and he's been in his terrible 2's since 18-months, although getting better. 2 of our other nephews are also just awful, but we think that's from parenting and no discipline.
Me: 37 years old
DH: 39 years old
Married: October 17, 2014 TTC Since: November 2015 BFP: March 31, 2016 DS: November 21, 2016
December'16 December Siggy Challenge: Elf on the Shelf Fails **winner**
@sourlemon I never meant that I would try to 'beat it out' of any child. Its just that the activities we have in my family are not the frilly type. So there will be plenty of the 'tomboy' or 'tough guy' things, while the more 'girly' things aren't in our regular activities. Grandma's and Aunts will definitely take care of those things, Mama will go for support.
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
I'm tired of seeing rude comments regarding home birth.
I like to read Whisper, and one mentioned the lady wanting a home birth. You would have thought she was selling her baby on the black market:
"Congratulations, you are a horrible parent before your baby is even born!"
"I hope you die during your home birth since you're not in the hospital. I hope your baby dies too so they don't inherit your stupidity."
"You are going to kill yourself and your baby!"
"Are you too stupid to realize that we have hospitals? I'm actually embarrassed for you...sigh I can't believe you're going to be a mom..."
I wish I was making these up. Just because someone wants a homebirth doesn't mean they are stupid or haven't done their research! And it doesn't mean that it's in the middle of the woods with no medical professionals. People are so awful and I am over the ignorance. If you don't want a home birth, that's fine! But don't tell me I'm endangering my baby just because my choice isn't the same as yours. Same goes with hospital births...if it's best for you then do it! I don't understand the outrageous amounts of hate people can spew...
@dmontgo I am truly asking this question, not just being a rude jerk.
Why would you choose to give birth where there isn't immediate access to every available form of treatment and help just in case something goes wrong?
I don't think people who want home births think of it this way. I think their thought is that women have been giving birth far longer than we've had hospitals and are generally perfectly capable of giving birth at home. Also, many hospitals and doctors push more intervention than many women are comfortable with, which is another attraction of home births.
I mean, I get where you're coming from, and I personally would not do a home birth. I'm just pointing out that the way you phrased the question isn't probably the way home birthers are looking at it.
@Kate08Young I wrote a whole thing and the Bump ate it.
In short, hospitals are businesses, home births include medical professionals and medical equipment, I live right down the street from the hospital, I have a backup plan but don't want to waste time thinking what ifs. I also would like to eat, go to the bathroom, and have the opportunity to be in any birthing position I'd like, not flat on my back.
@sourlemon I never meant that I would try to 'beat it out' of any child. Its just that the activities we have in my family are not the frilly type. So there will be plenty of the 'tomboy' or 'tough guy' things, while the more 'girly' things aren't in our regular activities. Grandma's and Aunts will definitely take care of those things, Mama will go for support.
I didn't mean that literally. Maybe it's an expression in my family...my mom wanted a girly girl and tried to "beat it (the tomboy) out of me" by making me wear dresses and stuff. It didn't work. But involved no literal beating, I promise.
Also, atmosphere and how comfortable you feel can have an enormous effect on how labor goes. Many people don't feel comfortable in a hospital. On the flip side, I carry a bit of baggage about "home" from childhood. I've always been more comfortable not in my own home (even though it's truly mine and dh's... It's a bit engrained) thats why I choose the birthing center near my house. If I thought I would be more comfortable at home I would 100% be doing a home birth.
@slartybartfast Also another reason for me as well...I'm comfortable in my home and I would feel anxious and uncertain otherwise, but there are some that feel more comfortable being the hospital, which is totally fine. I'm not poo-pooing on anyone's choice of birth! People should always feel safe and comfortable! I just know from my past experiences with doctors, it wouldn't be the best choice for me.
I wish we had a birthing center nearby! There's only one in the state where I am. That was actually my first choice, but I'm happy that we'll be home.
DH won't hear it for me having a home birth. He insists I deliver in a hospital. He grew up in hospitals (because that's where his parents worked) so he has faith in the system. I've heard horror stories, which is why my MIL will be present during the birth. If I don't want it and my MIL, a former OB nurse, says it's not necessary, it isn't happening. And lucky for DH my OB practice only delivers at the local hospital. But all of my doctors have been pretty good with what I want so far, so we'll see what happens.
Married 4/12/13 TTC since 6/13 Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016 SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
Here's one... "Have you lost weight?" (I'm super petite and always have morning sickness this is my 3rd) "are you sure that you eat enough to take care of a baby?" All I can do is laugh....
About the "do you know how that happens" question I get that a lot (3 under 3) and I look them right in the eye and I say yep and its fun...that's why I keep doing it. They never know what to say.... My husband just smiles and watches me make people squirm
A friend of mine posted an article on my FB wall that said it's "idolatrous to have a home birth." Um... Mary... the mother of Jesus... birthed in a stable... you know that, right?
I'm a believer that mother should birth in the environment that they feel safest and in the way that they are most at ease. I have had my last 2 at home (and would move to a hospital if needs arise), my 1st was at a free standing MW run birth center and my 2nd at a hospital with MWs... but I prefer homebirth because it's the safest place for a healthy, low-risk birth to take place ... https://reset.me/story/what-if-home-birth-is-actually-safer-than-hospital-birth/
I am 13 weeks with my second and we arent finding out the gender. We didnt find out with our son either. I can not tell you how many times we have been scolded because we cant adequately prepare for baby without knowing the gender. Uhm, what? We will have bottles, diapers, wipes, pajamas... etc... why does it matter if they are pink or blue? Also, when I told friends that I was pregnant they actually said - that sucks you were doing so well with your weight loss... seriously people!!!
When I was pregnant with DD, a lady at church told me that I wasn't eating enough. I wasn't sure how she could tell this considering she doesn't live with me and only sees me once a week. She said, "well your cheeks aren't fat. You have to eat until your cheeks get fat. I used to be a nurse." Right-o, chief.
June Siggy Challenge: Dad Fails
Married 7.28.2012 DD born 7.27.2014 BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
I am 13 weeks with my second and we arent finding out the gender. We didnt find out with our son either. I can not tell you how many times we have been scolded because we cant adequately prepare for baby without knowing the gender. Uhm, what? We will have bottles, diapers, wipes, pajamas... etc... why does it matter if they are pink or blue? Also, when I told friends that I was pregnant they actually said - that sucks you were doing so well with your weight loss... seriously people!!!
Apparently it goes both ways with finding out the gender comments! We are 14 weeks & plan to find out. Some reactions have been "What, *scoff* why would you ruin the surprise?!" Which in reply I just say "We're not ruining it, it's still a surprise!" Many people aren't sure what is the right thing to say to a pregnant woman so the dumbest thing possible falls out of their mouth.
Moral of the story: Understand and respect that parents are going to have variations of opinions and choices.. and that is A ok
Here's another one from me. This is more insensitive than rude. Because it's coming from a very close friend, I KNOW that it's not meant to be hateful, but I still flinch every time.
This friend just had a WHOPPER of a baby - 10lbs, birthed vaginally and without an epidural. The cutest little hoss ever. And my BFF is a BEAST for gettin' it done. Trust that I have appropriately praised her and shared in her awe of the event.
However, as a FTM who is considered high risk and who has worries of pre-term labor and a teeny teeny baby, who will most likely have to deliver via C-Section, the constant commentary about "WOW I can't believe I did that! It's so awesome to know I pushed that out of me, med-free!" is starting to get me down. She knows my situation and my worries...so why keep at it? We've cheered your accomplishment, now let's settle it down a little before yours truly feels inadequate.
Thanks for the chance to vent. Sigh.
@swhiddon33 - I totally get it. My BFF had a home birth (which are intervention/med free) and soapboxed the F out of her birth for a good 3 months to me. I finally had to shut it down. I told her that all of her examples of 'well, it's because I had a med free/intervention free birth' were (A.) Mostly bullshit, and (B.) Completely insensitive to me. I'm happy she got what she wanted, but there was always an underlying tone of superiority. So... I'm inferior that my body tried to kill me, I needed an emergency cesarian and didn't get to see my child for 36 hours who stayed in the NICU for a month? Thanks... As if I don't have enough self guilt just pile yours on.
People led who don't live through traumatic pregnancies/deliveries don't get it, and they shouldn't. But you can remind them to be sensitive. This is my best friend of nearly 20 years, so I left the gentle at the door and lit her up. I'm here to chat any time you feel overwhelmed.
@sourlemon - I appreciate your post earlier in this thread about having a 'girly' girl. While I'm not frilly, I'm more girly than you describe yourself but I always felt the girly stuff could be overwhelming. Your perspective made me feel empowered. Raising a girly girl will help me grow as a person... Maybe even help me get in touch with my feminine side. No matter if there's penises or vaginas on these two kids, I will love the shit out of these babies.
And I don't get the girl hate. I understand trepidation to a certain degree, I think that most of us can admit we were nasty as teenagers, I know I was. My son is SO MUCH more difficult than my niece. By a landslide. Now that may change at 14, but parenting never gets easier, it gets different.
@dmontgo - girl, I hope you get that home birth and prove them all wrong! I think so much of people's reaction is that they think you might shun intervention if required. Now, I don't know you, but you don't seem like a fool to me, so I'm guessing if you have a problem, you'd be the first one out of the door. Also, you need to have a really healthy, incident free pregnancy for this to even be an option. I think it makes people nervous when they know about GD, pre-e, placenta previa - but if you were in any of those categories, you couldn't do a home birth. I think most people just need education. It's on you to decide if they're worth your time educating. I'm jealous of your option for a home birth!! Sounds much better than a cold steel table, strapped down with 17 people watching me get cut open ;-)
With my first I constantly had people thinking I was going to deliver soon because from 30 weeks on I looked like I had a watermelon under my shirt. This pregnancy, EVERYONE in my family keeps saying they want it to be a girl. Like everyone. Because we have a ton of boys in the family. It's really starting to bother DH and I, because they are clearly going to be disappointed if we tell them it's a boy... OH, and my SIL who lives in Portugal who I thank god rarely ever see...told me that the first 2 weeks after this baby is born is going to be hell. She said "your son is going to be a little devil and hate the baby and is going to make your life miserable until he gets used to having a sibling". Wow, well thanks.
@DiFazette that's what I always heard (and experienced) - boys are worse behaved than girls when they're little but when they're teenagers the roles get reversed. But I also have to wonder if that has to do with the parent that's the same sex as the child's point of view. My MIL ADORES my husband and complains about my SIL's, BUT my FIL gets along better with the girls and basically says that DH was a terror as a teenager. Maybe boys lash out more at their dads and girls at their mom's? idk.
Met DH - 9/2003
Dating - 9/18/2012
Married - 8/16/2014
NTNP - 7/2014-5/2015
TTC #1 - 5/2015 (CP October @ 4w2d)
*PCOS/Hypothyroid/Ectopic Kidney/High DHEA-S* HSG - All clear, ectopic kidney didn't affect uterus (yay!) CT Adrenal Scan - no tumors! SA - sperm count excellent, 2% Morphology March/April IUI scheduled - surprise BFP w/ help of Progesterone - 3/18/2016 Beta #1 @ 11dpo - 45.7 #2 @ 14dpo - 163 #3 @ 18dpo - 997 #4 @ 21dpo - 3799 EDD 12/1 based on O, 11/28 per Ob/Gyn (but he's wrong lol).
@DiFazette Thank you! Fortunately those people weren't speaking directly to me, but I was shocked at how awful they reacted to the mention of home birth. And I do not think what your friend did was necessary at all--it is not productive or supportive to criticize others' birth, and I'm sorry she did that. Every mother's goal is to have a healthy baby--what can you truly criticize when that's the case? I'm glad you were straightforward with her about how hurtful she was being!
I'm working hard to try to stay as healthy as possible for a home birth to be possible, but I'm not so stubborn I would reject a hospital if I needed help! Doctors are very good at taking care of emergencies, no doubt about that! And I'm thankful they are there if I need them.
I have dreams and ideas of what kind of birth I would like, but realistic enough to know that we can't plan life. So all I can do is eat healthy, drink lots of water, and try to watch my sugar--my body is going to do what it's going to do, and if I can't have the birth I'm imagining, it doesn't mean I failed. Shit happens! Thank you for the support.
@Kate08Young - I felt the same way about having a girl, I'm not frilly and girly. I don't encourage it in my 2 daughters at all. One of them is totally a tomboy like me, and the other is insanely girly (only likes to play with girls and is all about nail polish and makeup). I raise my daughter's the same way I'd raise my boy. That's the secret, and let their individuality shine regardless of what they like
After reading more of these posts, I am feeling a little less alone on the 'girl hate' thing. To me, it is a societal problem that we awesome moms can change one at a time by sticking up for our girls in an effort for gender equality from birth. Be the change you want to see in the world.
I super plus one the "you must hope it's a boy" comments. I have two girls and every. single. person asks if we want a boy. What I really want is a healthy baby (TW: and with super low papp-a, a living, full-term baby). I honestly don't care what genitalia he/she possess. If anyone asks the boy question I usually respond with "I don't know, we're pretty darn good at girls" but that just leads to people waxing poetic about how girls are the devil and boys are "so much better". What?!
I'd also like to second the rude fat lady comments. I've lived through this with 2 pregnancies and never said a word but this time I'm not putting up with it (hello pregnancy hormone rage). It's not as satisfying as being rude back, but I still find that smiling and saying "thanks, that's exactly what ever pregnancy woman wants to hear" gets people back-peddling pretty quickly.
Some random stranger today told me that she couldn't believe a fat sicko like me would get pregnant, let alone find someone who wanted to sleep with me in general.
@doodleoodle I am also a failure. Breaking news, my cheeks didn't get fat and shockingly enough DD was born perfectly healthy and 7lb 2oz. HOW did j manage THAT one?!
I thought of something else that I consider rude, even though it's nothing verbal. MIL stares at my stomach all. the. time. She and FIL came to watch DD last night while DH and I were out and we probably only saw them a total of ten minutes, but she side-eye stared at my stomach the whole time. I wanted to be like, "I haven't pooped more than rabbit turds for three days now so this is not your future grandchild your eyeing, but rather my backed up bowels. Cute, am I right?!" Aaaaagghhh
June Siggy Challenge: Dad Fails
Married 7.28.2012 DD born 7.27.2014 BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
Some random stranger today told me that she couldn't believe a fat sicko like me would get pregnant, let alone find someone who wanted to sleep with me in general.
What the actual f#%"?! Who would say something like that? I'm so sorry that someone said that to you. What a screwed up human being.
Thank you @dmontgo and @cjt121413. Deep inside, I wanted to punch her as hard as I could. Instead, all I could do was walk away and cry. I mean, who really says that to someone?!?! My mom had a few choice words she said to the lady after I left.
One of my coworkers was trying to give me advice and said that "having one kid is fake parenting", she was eluding to the fact that 2 is much harder... She loves to throw in my face how difficult it is to have kids and how much my life is going to change...I am sure there is some truth to what she is trying to say but why would you say stuff like that to an excited expecting FTP...
******TW******Siggy warning BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d; BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks; BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016
@juliehollz13, I got SO MANY pity comments from strangers when pregnant with my 2nd boy. SO MANY. Like my little family wasn't perfect because I was going to have two boys! We don't know what the 3rd is, and I can only imagine the reactions if it's a 3rd boy!
One of my coworkers was trying to give me advice and said that "having one kid is fake parenting", she was eluding to the fact that 2 is much harder... She loves to throw in my face how difficult it is to have kids and how much my life is going to change...I am sure there is some truth to what she is trying to say but why would you say stuff like that to an excited expecting FTP...
Fake parenting? Then I am screwed. All this time I thought I've been suffering from real sleep deprivation and real postpartum anxiety.
@queenklau Wtf? Someone told another poster she's "not really" pregnant, and now FTMs are "fake parenting"? What the hell I'd wrong with people? Not everything has to be a contest. Being a parent is hard no matter how you slice it. She's probably upset that you're not a miserable lump like her.
I've had a coworker (who just had a baby in April) ask me if I had the line on my bump (I'm just 16 weeks I don't think it typically shows THIS early, at least for a FTM?) and she was all "OMG well you are not having a girl because you HAVE to have the line to have a girl".....no I'm pretty sure it needs two X chromosomes thanks.
The office secretary keeps asking if I feel ill and when I say not really or at least not enough to bother me she gets all "that's not good!!! sickness is a sign of a good pregnancy"...and she knows I'm a PGAL FTM
And probably the most popular: OMG you're so big, are you sure there's only one in there, and/or I didn't think you would have a bump like that yet!
Re: Rude Comments
But, I also played with dolls and Barbies and everything else "girl" related. I was very t-shirts and jeans/shorts until about 8th grade, and then I got more into fashion and caring. And then it progressed from there. Now I love clothes, make-up, hair stuff, etc. I am very girly, although love sports and playing sports.
But, I am OK with having either a boy or a girl. I would love a girl, but won't be disappointed if I don't have one. Plus, most people with boys and girls say that boys are easier. However, our youngest nephew is now 4 and he's been in his terrible 2's since 18-months, although getting better. 2 of our other nephews are also just awful, but we think that's from parenting and no discipline.
TTC Since: November 2015
BFP: March 31, 2016
DS: November 21, 2016
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
I like to read Whisper, and one mentioned the lady wanting a home birth. You would have thought she was selling her baby on the black market:
"Congratulations, you are a horrible parent before your baby is even born!"
"I hope you die during your home birth since you're not in the hospital. I hope your baby dies too so they don't inherit your stupidity."
"You are going to kill yourself and your baby!"
"Are you too stupid to realize that we have hospitals? I'm actually embarrassed for you...sigh I can't believe you're going to be a mom..."
I wish I was making these up. Just because someone wants a homebirth doesn't mean they are stupid or haven't done their research! And it doesn't mean that it's in the middle of the woods with no medical professionals. People are so awful and I am over the ignorance. If you don't want a home birth, that's fine! But don't tell me I'm endangering my baby just because my choice isn't the same as yours. Same goes with hospital births...if it's best for you then do it! I don't understand the outrageous amounts of hate people can spew...
Why would you choose to give birth where there isn't immediate access to every available form of treatment and help just in case something goes wrong?
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
I mean, I get where you're coming from, and I personally would not do a home birth. I'm just pointing out that the way you phrased the question isn't probably the way home birthers are looking at it.
Me: 33 H: 36
Married: 12/14/13 DS: 1/29/09
BFP2: 10/9/15 MMC: 11/12/15
BFP3: 4/6/16 DD: 12/12/16
In short, hospitals are businesses, home births include medical professionals and medical equipment, I live right down the street from the hospital, I have a backup plan but don't want to waste time thinking what ifs. I also would like to eat, go to the bathroom, and have the opportunity to be in any birthing position I'd like, not flat on my back.
thats why I choose the birthing center near my house. If I thought I would be more comfortable at home I would 100% be doing a home birth.
I wish we had a birthing center nearby! There's only one in the state where I am. That was actually my first choice, but I'm happy that we'll be home.
TTC since 6/13
Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change
BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016
SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
I'm a believer that mother should birth in the environment that they feel safest and in the way that they are most at ease. I have had my last 2 at home (and would move to a hospital if needs arise), my 1st was at a free standing MW run birth center and my 2nd at a hospital with MWs... but I prefer homebirth because it's the safest place for a healthy, low-risk birth to take place ... https://reset.me/story/what-if-home-birth-is-actually-safer-than-hospital-birth/
Due December 27th with baby #7
DD born 7.27.2014
BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
Apparently it goes both ways with finding out the gender comments! We are 14 weeks & plan to find out. Some reactions have been "What, *scoff* why would you ruin the surprise?!" Which in reply I just say "We're not ruining it, it's still a surprise!" Many people aren't sure what is the right thing to say to a pregnant woman so the dumbest thing possible falls out of their mouth.
Moral of the story: Understand and respect that parents are going to have variations of opinions and choices.. and that is A ok
DS: 12/20/16
EDD: 11/29/18
People led who don't live through traumatic pregnancies/deliveries don't get it, and they shouldn't. But you can remind them to be sensitive. This is my best friend of nearly 20 years, so I left the gentle at the door and lit her up. I'm here to chat any time you feel overwhelmed.
And I don't get the girl hate. I understand trepidation to a certain degree, I think that most of us can admit we were nasty as teenagers, I know I was. My son is SO MUCH more difficult than my niece. By a landslide. Now that may change at 14, but parenting never gets easier, it gets different.
@dmontgo - girl, I hope you get that home birth and prove them all wrong! I think so much of people's reaction is that they think you might shun intervention if required. Now, I don't know you, but you don't seem like a fool to me, so I'm guessing if you have a problem, you'd be the first one out of the door. Also, you need to have a really healthy, incident free pregnancy for this to even be an option. I think it makes people nervous when they know about GD, pre-e, placenta previa - but if you were in any of those categories, you couldn't do a home birth. I think most people just need education. It's on you to decide if they're worth your time educating. I'm jealous of your option for a home birth!! Sounds much better than a cold steel table, strapped down with 17 people watching me get cut open ;-)
This pregnancy, EVERYONE in my family keeps saying they want it to be a girl. Like everyone. Because we have a ton of boys in the family. It's really starting to bother DH and I, because they are clearly going to be disappointed if we tell them it's a boy...
OH, and my SIL who lives in Portugal who I thank god rarely ever see...told me that the first 2 weeks after this baby is born is going to be hell. She said "your son is going to be a little devil and hate the baby and is going to make your life miserable until he gets used to having a sibling". Wow, well thanks.
HSG - All clear, ectopic kidney didn't affect uterus (yay!)
CT Adrenal Scan - no tumors!
SA - sperm count excellent, 2% Morphology
March/April IUI scheduled - surprise BFP w/ help of Progesterone - 3/18/2016
Beta #1 @ 11dpo - 45.7 #2 @ 14dpo - 163 #3 @ 18dpo - 997 #4 @ 21dpo - 3799
EDD 12/1 based on O, 11/28 per Ob/Gyn (but he's wrong lol).
*TEAM BLUE!*
I'm working hard to try to stay as healthy as possible for a home birth to be possible, but I'm not so stubborn I would reject a hospital if I needed help! Doctors are very good at taking care of emergencies, no doubt about that! And I'm thankful they are there if I need them.
I have dreams and ideas of what kind of birth I would like, but realistic enough to know that we can't plan life. So all I can do is eat healthy, drink lots of water, and try to watch my sugar--my body is going to do what it's going to do, and if I can't have the birth I'm imagining, it doesn't mean I failed. Shit happens! Thank you for the support.
After reading more of these posts, I am feeling a little less alone on the 'girl hate' thing. To me, it is a societal problem that we awesome moms can change one at a time by sticking up for our girls in an effort for gender equality from birth.
Be the change you want to see in the world.
I'd also like to second the rude fat lady comments. I've lived through this with 2 pregnancies and never said a word but this time I'm not putting up with it (hello pregnancy hormone rage). It's not as satisfying as being rude back, but I still find that smiling and saying "thanks, that's exactly what ever pregnancy woman wants to hear" gets people back-peddling pretty quickly.
I thought of something else that I consider rude, even though it's nothing verbal. MIL stares at my stomach all. the. time. She and FIL came to watch DD last night while DH and I were out and we probably only saw them a total of ten minutes, but she side-eye stared at my stomach the whole time. I wanted to be like, "I haven't pooped more than rabbit turds for three days now so this is not your future grandchild your eyeing, but rather my backed up bowels. Cute, am I right?!" Aaaaagghhh
DD born 7.27.2014
BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
Me: 33 H: 36
Married: 12/14/13 DS: 1/29/09
BFP2: 10/9/15 MMC: 11/12/15
BFP3: 4/6/16 DD: 12/12/16
BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks;
BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016
I've had a coworker (who just had a baby in April) ask me if I had the line on my bump (I'm just 16 weeks I don't think it typically shows THIS early, at least for a FTM?) and she was all "OMG well you are not having a girl because you HAVE to have the line to have a girl".....no I'm pretty sure it needs two X chromosomes thanks.
The office secretary keeps asking if I feel ill and when I say not really or at least not enough to bother me she gets all "that's not good!!! sickness is a sign of a good pregnancy"...and she knows I'm a PGAL FTM
And probably the most popular: OMG you're so big, are you sure there's only one in there, and/or I didn't think you would have a bump like that yet!
BFP#1 & MC:August 2015 BFP: #2 10/01/2015 MC: 10/09/2015 BFP #3: 12/22/2015 @ 5 weeks MC/CP: 12-23-2015
Fertility Appointment: Feb 23/16, Hysteroscopy 03/02/2016,
BFP #4: 03/31/16 EDD 12/01/2016