Single mummy writing from Birmingham, United Kingdom here! My reactions have been very mixed since BD was not a boyf and does not want to know......I had a friend say 'Being the adult here.....how are you going to pay for your car,bills etc....?' Erm yes thank you same age friend I have not once thought about bills or anything adult.....I am going to be a single Mum of 3 just for fun.......!!!!!! Ffs......at least my other friends have given an awkward congratulations....and my mum asked if I will now have to quit work......??! Fun times lol!
So I haven't even told my SIL that we're KU yet, and we're going up there on Friday to see the ILs and tell everyone. SIL texts me today asking me if we're only coming up to see them because we need money for an abortion. Um, NO. Wtf. I am now dreading Friday, which should be a happy day other than that.
Previously PaukMeKiande
Surprise BFP/MC February 2011 BFP May 16th 2016
EDD January 25 2017 DD born January 30 2017 Surprise BFP/MC April 2017
So I haven't even told my SIL that we're KU yet, and we're going up there on Friday to see the ILs and tell everyone. SIL texts me today asking me if we're only coming up to see them because we need money for an abortion. Um, NO. Wtf. I am now dreading Friday, which should be a happy day other than that.
So I haven't even told my SIL that we're KU yet, and we're going up there on Friday to see the ILs and tell everyone. SIL texts me today asking me if we're only coming up to see them because we need money for an abortion. Um, NO. Wtf. I am now dreading Friday, which should be a happy day other than that.
I'm sorry, but wtf!? I hope you shut her down hard.
So I haven't even told my SIL that we're KU yet, and we're going up there on Friday to see the ILs and tell everyone. SIL texts me today asking me if we're only coming up to see them because we need money for an abortion. Um, NO. Wtf. I am now dreading Friday, which should be a happy day other than that.
Oh my goodness. What is wrong with that woman. Who would say something like that?
Honestly my mind was just in shock at that moment and I really wasn't ashard as I should have been, since it was over text. I just gave a firm no and a wtf.
Previously PaukMeKiande
Surprise BFP/MC February 2011 BFP May 16th 2016
EDD January 25 2017 DD born January 30 2017 Surprise BFP/MC April 2017
I have no filter, if my mom or MIL tried to pull that kind of stunt (saying I looked bigger at such-and-such time) I would cheerfully say something along the lines of "yep! And you're looking more grandmotherly by the day!" Seriously though all of these crazy reactions. Kind of dreading telling my folks, but glad there's at least 1000 miles between all of them and me. Lol. On second thought maybe I'll just let them all find out when I give birth and flood facebook with the obligatory new-baby pictures.
You have to laugh at some of these. People can be so ridiculous even when it's your own family. I haven't told a soul yet (im 10 weeks) so reading these im nervous what some people are going to say. Luckily i don't have any insane family members but my aunt in law is beyond crazy and will have something negative to say. I am actually looking forward to it because i have no filter and will shut her up right away!
Reading all of these reminds me of how my sister announced her fifth pregnancy last year, and no one in our family was excited. Her family was going through VERY rough times (children weren't in school, they were on the verge of losing their house, cars being repo-ed, appliances in their house didn't work). Mind you, my other sister was giving her thousands of dollars a month to pay their mortgage, keep food on the table, and give them gas money. We were all contributing in ways that we could - buying groceries, clothes, paying misc. bills, etc. When the pregnancy announcement came we were also told they had been actively trying for a baby (yes on top of them not even sure they would have a home FOR the baby).
Now, am I glad my sister has her little baby boy? Heck yes. I love him so much. But WTF? They are doing MUCH better now and their income has stabilized. But at the time, there were no cheers or tears of joy.
(Just want to add that I'm not comparing her story to anyone else who is getting a less than warm reception. Simply, reading these brought up all the emotions from last year and now I feel like a jerk but I can't help but still shake my head in astonishment.)
I'd blow my lid if someone said some of these things to me. Some of you have the patience of saints to handle them so gracefully.
When we first started TTC, I told my mom and she had a less than thrilled response of "what if [OH] leaves you!" I'm 31 years old and my OH and I have been together for 3 years, living together for a year now, and it's the most stable relationship I have ever been in. And even if, god forbid, he did "leave me", I'm fully capable of raising a child on my own if it came down to that. It was such an insult on so many levels that I didn't want to talk to her for a while after. My mom and I are like day and night personality-wise. Of course, when we shared the news that there was a LO on the way, she was ecstatic, so I was really confused by the change of heart, but decided to not question it.
Sent out our US via group text to DH's family this morning, one brother responded with "you got an STD? CONGRATS!" Um. What in the fresh hell? His sister's claimed to have figured it out on mother's day which would be magically since I didn't even know then but whatever guys. It's better than the last time I suppose.
We ended up getting a tshirt for my ds who is 19mo and it had Only Child on it crossed out and then Big Brother. It took my parents a few minutes to notice his shirt (which I expected) and then they were excited. When we took him to see my inlaws, my MIL saw it right away (which again I expected) so then she took my DS over to my FIL and BIL and said, did you see his shirt? They both looked at it, and had no emotion. Everyone was like, did you read it? It took them a little bit and required my MIL telling my FIL what it meant. Not too far from what I expected and they were all very excited once they got it but sometimes it amazes me how clueless some are
We haven't told anyone yet this time around (waiting until week 12), but I'm expecting some sort of insanity from my crazy SIL and lots of smug 'I knew it all along. I can just tell.' from my MIL.
I was planning on telling my family this weekend (Father's Day) with my LO wearing a Big Brother Shirt. He is only 10 months, so it will definitely be a surprise to everyone. We always wanted kids close in age, but I wasn't expecting to get pregnant this quickly (given how long it took for my first). Now you guys have me nervous about their reactions. Maybe I should just tell them one on one...
My step mom (who I'm not close with) said, Congrats! About time! Your egg & his sperm have known each other for a long time so they were obviously excited to officially meet. ummm... thanks? lol
Oh God... This wins the most awkward award. Hopefully everyone else is less weird lol.
So far, reactions have been, "Don't you know what causes that?" Yes, I do. I enjoy it very much.
Other than that, everyone is very happy for us and our families are ecstatic. My mom always wanted a big family and was never able to have one, so she's living vicariously through me right now. She's a little overly excited, but I'll take that any day over comments about eggs and sperm lol.
Don't be worried @onaed ! Pretty sure these stories are rare. Most normal people have normal, jovial reactions to the miracle of bringing a baby into the world!
@onaed Don't let it worry you, announce how you want to and how you are comfortable. Most people are genuinely happy when they find out and if you do run in a rude or awkward comment, just run with it and don't let it bother you. And remember, if it's not the reaction you want, you will always have a great story to tell.
This isn't so much a reaction to the announcement, but the due date rather. So my H's grandmother passed and we had to spend a significant amount of time last week visiting with them and such. We had told grandmother the news, and she proceeded to tell the rest of the family, which is not something I was thrilled about, but it's really no big deal. So, apparently I am due on the day after H's "Pop's" birthday (H grandfather who passed years ago). From everything I've heard (and H will tell you the same) Pop was an evil, terrible, cruel, awful human being. But of course, H's aunts love their father (though they will admit he wasn't a super great person), and are crossing their fingers for our baby to be born on this man's birthday so we can have a "little pop". How awful would it be for me to tell them the due date changed so I don't have to hear that all of my pregnancy? Even though we are far away, I know the second I make a FB/IG announcement, they're going to be all over the comments about little pop, and this is the last person I want my child to be compared to.
Also, I'm so sorry for everyone who's had a bad or awkward response. People can be jerks sometimes, even if it's the people we love.
@cjs260 I think it's worth a shot if you want to try but unfortunately if it's anywhere close you may still get it. My first was due 12/6 and I actually got a lot of, oh maybe you'll be late and go in to labor on Christmas...seriously folks, that is 20 days away, I don't think so. Some people zero in on a date near your due date and that's the end of it, even if it's completely unreasonable. (On a side note, my lo was actually 3 weeks early and born 2 weeks before Thanksgiving )
This isn't so much a reaction to the announcement, but the due date rather. So my H's grandmother passed and we had to spend a significant amount of time last week visiting with them and such. We had told grandmother the news, and she proceeded to tell the rest of the family, which is not something I was thrilled about, but it's really no big deal. So, apparently I am due on the day after H's "Pop's" birthday (H grandfather who passed years ago). From everything I've heard (and H will tell you the same) Pop was an evil, terrible, cruel, awful human being. But of course, H's aunts love their father (though they will admit he wasn't a super great person), and are crossing their fingers for our baby to be born on this man's birthday so we can have a "little pop". How awful would it be for me to tell them the due date changed so I don't have to hear that all of my pregnancy? Even though we are far away, I know the second I make a FB/IG announcement, they're going to be all over the comments about little pop, and this is the last person I want my child to be compared to.
Also, I'm so sorry for everyone who's had a bad or awkward response. People can be jerks sometimes, even if it's the people we love.
Edit cause I hit submit too soon.
Did your due date actually change or would you just be telling them that to get them off your back? You could always just tell them the statistics on first time moms going up to two weeks past their due dates. The first kids like to cook a little longer on average.
Previously PaukMeKiande
Surprise BFP/MC February 2011 BFP May 16th 2016
EDD January 25 2017 DD born January 30 2017 Surprise BFP/MC April 2017
@PaukMeKiande It hasn't changed, so it would be just an attempt to stop them from saying it. I was 3 weeks over due and H was a week overdue, so I feel like that's likely. But honestly I doubt even faking a due date change will make them quit anyways.
I'm getting a little more disappointed in my stepmom every time I talk to her... First she was "way too young" to be called grandma (ok, you're totally not but whatever), then she didn't believe me that they're identical? (partly because of the IVF) "how can they tell ALREADY?" (You don't know how this works, huh?) "are you SURE its not both embryos?" (Nope, I'm repeatedly lying to you...) then we went over our due date AGAIN (which is weird to start because A- it's New Year's Day and B- it's her mom's bday...) and I said again that they'd probably be born in early December, my OB said making it that far would be amazing and she said "UGH poor babies Christmas birthdays are horrible"
it took us 31 months and 3 IVF cycles to get pregnant. She knows that we skipped cycles to avoid Christmas at first, and she knows that I give zero shits about that anymore and just wanted to be successful.
Wtf stepmom?? What is with these weird comments?? Please fuck off immediately thanks!
@TinaBelcher I'm sorry, that is awful! Stepmoms can be so weird and rude! I remember with our first pregnancy we had decided to be team green and wait till birthday to find out baby's gender and she literally sat 2inces from the tv screen when we shared the ultrasound video and screamed "I know what you're having!" Preceded to run in the kitchen and whisper to my dad and he says "well she has a lot of experience with these things" well thanks so much, she has 3 boys so you just told us what we didn't want to know!
We tried to ignore them but a few weeks later her niece was in choir with my mom and I and heard us talking to someone who asked about what we were having and I said we were waiting and niece leans in really rudely and says "you're having a boy!" ARE YOU KIDDING ME! Stepmom had told her whole freaking family!
This isn't so much a reaction to the announcement, but the due date rather. So my H's grandmother passed and we had to spend a significant amount of time last week visiting with them and such. We had told grandmother the news, and she proceeded to tell the rest of the family, which is not something I was thrilled about, but it's really no big deal. So, apparently I am due on the day after H's "Pop's" birthday (H grandfather who passed years ago). From everything I've heard (and H will tell you the same) Pop was an evil, terrible, cruel, awful human being. But of course, H's aunts love their father (though they will admit he wasn't a super great person), and are crossing their fingers for our baby to be born on this man's birthday so we can have a "little pop". How awful would it be for me to tell them the due date changed so I don't have to hear that all of my pregnancy? Even though we are far away, I know the second I make a FB/IG announcement, they're going to be all over the comments about little pop, and this is the last person I want my child to be compared to.
Also, I'm so sorry for everyone who's had a bad or awkward response. People can be jerks sometimes, even if it's the people we love.
Edit cause I hit submit too soon.
we had the exact same thing happen on my FIL's side of the family with my first pregnancy! DD was due June 2, which was DH's grandfather's birthday, and he'd died the year before. DD was born June 1, but everyone made such a big deal about it that half of that side of the family STILL thinks her birthday's June 2. One of his aunts even announced DD's birth in her Christmas newsletter (which I thought was kind of bizarre in and of itself) as June 2... so strange! Meanwhile, none of them had even spoken to him for about 10 years before his death because of family drama so I'm really not sure why they made such a big deal out of the potentially shared birthday *scratches head*
I'm getting a little more disappointed in my stepmom every time I talk to her... First she was "way too young" to be called grandma (ok, you're totally not but whatever), then she didn't believe me that they're identical? (partly because of the IVF) "how can they tell ALREADY?" (You don't know how this works, huh?) "are you SURE its not both embryos?" (Nope, I'm repeatedly lying to you...) then we went over our due date AGAIN (which is weird to start because A- it's New Year's Day and B- it's her mom's bday...) and I said again that they'd probably be born in early December, my OB said making it that far would be amazing and she said "UGH poor babies Christmas birthdays are horrible"
it took us 31 months and 3 IVF cycles to get pregnant. She knows that we skipped cycles to avoid Christmas at first, and she knows that I give zero shits about that anymore and just wanted to be successful.
Wtf stepmom?? What is with these weird comments?? Please fuck off immediately thanks!
Wow, so rude! And for the record, my birthday is 9 days before Christmas and while occasionally people try to treat my birthday and Christmas as the same day which is kind of annoying, for the most part, having a December birthday is awesome! It's a whole month of celebrations!
I told my mom/stepdad (basically my dad) today. My moms reaction was your typical mom reaction. So excited! My stepdad(dad) was so funny. In the father's day card i wrote "only the best dad's get promoted to grandpa." he laughed and said "that's cute." and proceeded to thank our dog for the card. He thought we refered to him as grandpa from the dog! Theeeeeen it clicked. He was so excited. Now on to telling in laws who will legitimately have a heart attack. They have been waiting since the day we got married
We told my parents right away when we found out but were waiting to tell my DH's parents and sister because they all have big mouths. But then our dog passed away suddenly when we were only about 6 weeks and everyone was really sad so we decided that we would tell his parents some good news when they came over to give their condolences to us. Halfway through their visit my husband tells them the news. MIL says "You know, I thought you might be since you were drinking only water" uhh what? It's 3:00 in the afternoon! Oh thanks!
@cjs260 No shame in lying about your due date. My little sister was due on the anniversary of JFK's assassination, and apparently my Grandma gave my mom a hard time about it throughout her whole pregnancy because it was "bad luck". My sister actually happened to be born on her due date, and my mom said that my grandma was telling her the whole time she was in labor to "try and hold her in for just a little longer". My mom still tells the story, so I think a little fib to avoid hearing about it for the rest of your pregnancy is totally justified.
Me: 28 | DH: 31 Together since 2006 | Married May 2015 TTC #1 since November 2015 BFP 5/17/16 | EDD 1/27/17 | Born 2/4/17
I can't believe some of these reactions! My husband and I miscarried last December, and prior to that we had just announced to his extended family. My BIL, SIL and one of my husband's aunt and uncle don't get along and it has caused some rift in the family, so I was proud that I had brought them all together (except my SIL, she refused to come) in one room to share the big news (mind you, my husband and I get along with everyone just fine and haven't "taken sides"). I had a shirt made for my niece that said, "Big Cousin Est. 2016" and had her open it along with a toy. I asked her to hold it up and we helped her read it to everyone. Talk about hearing crickets!!! My in-laws already knew, so they were in the back of the room waiting for the reaction, but everyone else had been sitting there sulking about having to see each other that they barely said a word! It was so embarrassing to us. Luckily, another one of my husband's aunts spoke up and congratulated us, but you could tell she was trying really hard cover up the awkwardness in the room. The first thing my husband did when we got in the car was apologize, he was mortified and so upset Now we are pregnant again and I'm having major anxiety about telling his family. My husband wants to tell his brother and to be honest, I would rather him hear it through the grapevine since he never said a word to me about it - he just sat there with his arms folded and pouted like a baby. Am I being petty in not wanting to include his extended family in our announcement?
I feel so bad for you ladies for some of these reactions! People have no tact.
So mine is a funny reaction from DH on our due date -- which happens to be his 40th birthday.
I was in Prague for DE IVF and DH was home in CO and right after I had the transfer, I calculated the due date and texted DH and said, "So how do you feel about having a baby on your 40th birthday?!?" He said, "I'll be in Morocco, I can watch it on Skype."
He of course was joking but it really made me laugh!
***TW****MC mentioned & BFP mentioned***
me 38 DH 39. TTC#1 since July 2014 AMH 0.1, DOR, Poor responder Moved to Prague, Czech Republic for IVF
2 Natural IVF cycles, 3 full IVF cycles, 4 transfers, 1 BFP - heard heartbeat at 6w5d
Diagnosed MMC at 9w1d on 11/30/15
Headed back home to Colorado 12/12/15
DE attempt in Czech Republic!!
March trip to Prague canceled due to Pancreatitis. Headed to Prague April 30 3 different donors resulted in 1 PGS tested embryo and 1 fresh embryo
2 embryo's transferred (from 2 different donors) on 5/10/16 BFP on 5/15/16 at 5dp5dt
Beta 1 = 81 at 8dp5dt, Beta 2 = 295 at 10dp5dt, Beta 3 = 891 at 12dt5dt. Beta 4 = 2114 at 14dp5dt, Beta 5 = 4916 at 16dp5dt, Beta 6 = 13252 at 19dp5dt
@mal1910 no! If you don't want to tell them yourself then don't. It's not petty! My husband's family was so awkwardly quiet last time I told them all via text this time so I didn't have to deal with them.
The only family we are planning to tell in person will by my parents and in-laws. We plan to let them spread it to the rest of the extended family by word of mouth, which they'll love to do. I also will tell my coworkers in person because I work with a lot of women, and they'll be excited for me.
My dad was really excited and got kind of emotional. My mom was super weird about it though. She just looked stunned, and asked, "So when's that happening?" It was odd, and not at all what I expected.
@susykat77 DS's due date was the same day as DH's birthday. DH was definitely not super excited about the prospect of sharing his birthday at first, but I think he got over it. DS ended up being 10 days late so it was a moot point.
Re: Strange Reactions to Pregnancy Announcement
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BFP May 16th 2016
DD born January 30 2017
Surprise BFP/MC April 2017
BFP May 16th 2016
DD born January 30 2017
Surprise BFP/MC April 2017
Now, am I glad my sister has her little baby boy? Heck yes. I love him so much. But WTF? They are doing MUCH better now and their income has stabilized. But at the time, there were no cheers or tears of joy.
(Just want to add that I'm not comparing her story to anyone else who is getting a less than warm reception. Simply, reading these brought up all the emotions from last year and now I feel like a jerk but I can't help but still shake my head in astonishment.)
When we first started TTC, I told my mom and she had a less than thrilled response of "what if [OH] leaves you!" I'm 31 years old and my OH and I have been together for 3 years, living together for a year now, and it's the most stable relationship I have ever been in. And even if, god forbid, he did "leave me", I'm fully capable of raising a child on my own if it came down to that. It was such an insult on so many levels that I didn't want to talk to her for a while after. My mom and I are like day and night personality-wise. Of course, when we shared the news that there was a LO on the way, she was ecstatic, so I was really confused by the change of heart, but decided to not question it.
Jan17 Sept Sig: Pumpkin Spice gone too far
So far, reactions have been, "Don't you know what causes that?" Yes, I do. I enjoy it very much.
Other than that, everyone is very happy for us and our families are ecstatic. My mom always wanted a big family and was never able to have one, so she's living vicariously through me right now. She's a little overly excited, but I'll take that any day over comments about eggs and sperm lol.
@elvinnoe Happy 1st birthday to your little one!
@onaed Don't let it worry you, announce how you want to and how you are comfortable. Most people are genuinely happy when they find out and if you do run in a rude or awkward comment, just run with it and don't let it bother you. And remember, if it's not the reaction you want, you will always have a great story to tell.
Also, I'm so sorry for everyone who's had a bad or awkward response. People can be jerks sometimes, even if it's the people we love.
Edit cause I hit submit too soon.
BFP May 16th 2016
DD born January 30 2017
Surprise BFP/MC April 2017
it took us 31 months and 3 IVF cycles to get pregnant. She knows that we skipped cycles to avoid Christmas at first, and she knows that I give zero shits about that anymore and just wanted to be successful.
Wtf stepmom?? What is with these weird comments?? Please fuck off immediately thanks!
We tried to ignore them but a few weeks later her niece was in choir with my mom and I and heard us talking to someone who asked about what we were having and I said we were waiting and niece leans in really rudely and says "you're having a boy!" ARE YOU KIDDING ME! Stepmom had told her whole freaking family!
DS1 - 03/31/2006
DS2 - 12/31/2008
DS3 - 06/26/2012
DS4 - 08/07/2014
excited. Now on to telling in laws who will legitimately have a heart attack. They have been waiting since the day we got married
Me: 28 | DH: 31
Together since 2006 | Married May 2015
TTC #1 since November 2015
BFP 5/17/16 | EDD 1/27/17 | Born 2/4/17
Now we are pregnant again and I'm having major anxiety about telling his family. My husband wants to tell his brother and to be honest, I would rather him hear it through the grapevine since he never said a word to me about it - he just sat there with his arms folded and pouted like a baby. Am I being petty in not wanting to include his extended family in our announcement?
I feel so bad for you ladies for some of these reactions! People have no tact.
So mine is a funny reaction from DH on our due date -- which happens to be his 40th birthday.
I was in Prague for DE IVF and DH was home in CO and right after I had the transfer, I calculated the due date and texted DH and said, "So how do you feel about having a baby on your 40th birthday?!?" He said, "I'll be in Morocco, I can watch it on Skype."
He of course was joking but it really made me laugh!
***TW****MC mentioned & BFP mentioned***
TTC#1 since July 2014
AMH 0.1, DOR, Poor responder
Moved to Prague, Czech Republic for IVF
DE attempt in Czech Republic!!
March trip to Prague canceled due to Pancreatitis.
Headed to Prague April 30
3 different donors resulted in 1 PGS tested embryo and 1 fresh embryo
BFP on 5/15/16 at 5dp5dt
My blog: www.wearethehammitts.blogspot.com