Hawaiian-ish Girl Name help

Kaessi · June 2016

So my DH previously lived in Hawaii & plans on moving there again eventually, but our daughter will probably be at least 16 before that happens. So she will grow up in TX. (Which means her name will be said with a southern accent). He is set on giving her a first name with a Hawaiian origin, but we can't agree on anything. At all. His first suggestions were Iolani & Ualani which I immediately vetoed. He also suggest Leilani which I don't hate...but I'm not sure if I love either. I like Kaia or Kai, he said no to both of those. So we are back to the drawing board. I've been toying with Alana but am afraid he will veto that as well. Any other suggestions? MN will more than liley be Kay, after my mom. Last name is two syllables, starts with an N.

Bringmemylongswordho · June 2016

I would not give a Hawaiian name to a child with no Hawaiian heritage.

bbiutmcph · June 2016

Bringmemylongswordho said:

I would not give a Hawaiian name to a child with no Hawaiian heritage.

Ditto. Maybe middle name?

jamiesc58 · June 2016

I think Alana Kay is really pretty. (I am pronouncing is Uh-la-nuh...is that correct?)

MrsMaryK2016 · June 2016

I have a friend who is Cuban but her parents honeymooned in Hawaii (or something, I forget the story) and they named her Lani. Totally suits her!

Kaessi · June 2016

@jamiesc58 Thanks - I think so too! And yes, that's how I pronounce it. Alana is of Hawaiian origin, but I don't think it's too "out there"...meaning I don't think she is required to be of Hawaiian heritage to carry that name.

There are hundreds of names that are of origins other than English that perfectly acceptable even if the child is not of that particular heritage...Caroline & Vivienne are French, Adeline & Heidi are German, Erin & Finley are Irish...so I'm curious about the theory above. Does this apply in those circumstances as well?

My hope for reaching out to this board was to seek advice & other ideas that may not have crossed my mind yet.

bbiutmcph · June 2016

A lot of names are used very universally. Like the examples you provided, they are very main stream. But a non Italian naming a kid Salvatore or Vittoria is odd. Most Hawaiian names are similar. Aside from Alana hearing the other names discussed most people would assume the person had heritage ties. I personally would not want a child or have myself a name that would give people a heavy impression that I was not actually associated with. I'm Italian and while I love the name Oxana I wouldn't want my daughter spending her entire life saying oh it's a Russian name and then explaining she actually has no Russian heritage.

ktomorrow · June 2016

I love Leilani! What about Alani?

Kaessi · June 2016

Great explanation @bbiutmcph - I appreciate your input! And agree. This is why I haven't agreed to any of DH's suggestions thus far. I was hoping to come up with other somewhat "mainstream" names that also have Hawaiian ties, as to satisfy us both.

Bringmemylongswordho · June 2016

Kaessi said:

Great explanation @bbiutmcph - I appreciate your input! And agree. This is why I haven't agreed to any of DH's suggestions thus far. I was hoping to come up with other somewhat "mainstream" names that also has some Hawaiian ties, as to satisfy us both.

That's the thing though, Hawaiian names are not mainstream.

Eta ( fucking post eating )

Alana, like you have.

Lana
Lea
Leia.

That's about it. Pretty much any other name is gonna look real awkward on a non Hawaiian kid.

momma2char · June 2016

I love Alana and the suggestion of Leia, but agree with above posts about the heritage stuff.

possible suggestions:
Kalea
Luana
Malia

Names without Hawaiian origin but have a similar feel:
Maya- Hebrew meaning water
Morgan- Welsh meaning sea
Sandra nn Sandy
Skye
Michelle nn Shelley?
Coraline or Cora
Marina
Pearl

Thats about all I've got!

DunkinDecaf · June 2016

So I'm not from Hawaii, but I have a few friends who are, and I think if your daughter is not Hawaiian and moves there at 16 with a Hawaiian name and a southern accent she would likely get a fair amount of shit from her classmates for it. I think Alana would be fine though. I didn't even know that one was a Hawaiian name.
Also I wouldn't choose Leia unless the Star Wars link doesn't bother you.

bbiutmcph · June 2016

What about something like Luna?

mamalindsayof3 · June 2016

I don't know, I mean you're talking about a *possible* move to Hawaii in 16 years... Would you be disappointed if someday you don't move to HI and you named your daughter something that you liked because of "someday we're going to move to HI?!"

ktomorrow · June 2016

My H's fam is from Hawaii and it is such a melting pot of Asians, Pacific Islanders and native Hawaiians etc that I find this restrictive idea regarding using Hawaiian names surprising and unpleasant. Go with what you're comfortable with.

Bringmemylongswordho · June 2016

ktomorrow said:

My H's fam is from Hawaii and it is such a melting pot of Asians, Pacific Islanders and native Hawaiians etc that I find this restrictive idea regarding using Hawaiian names surprising and unpleasant. Go with what you're comfortable with.

Well, the elephant in the room is OP and her husband's ethnicity. If OP and/or her husband have that sort of heritage it's not as big of a deal. If they are both super white, that's just awkward and leaning on a very uncomfortable imperialist past.

klirwin82 · June 2016

^^ So you'd find my (black) husband's name Edward "awkward" given that it's an Anglo name and "leans on an uncomfortable imperialist past"? Please.

OP, I went to school with a girl named Kiana, her family lived in HI at one point and loved the name. It's not too far out there and def not mainstream either.

Scarlett830 · June 2016

Alana with a NN of Lana sounds pretty and not over the top.

Bringmemylongswordho · June 2016

klirwin82 said:

^^ So you'd find my (black) husband's name Edward "awkward" given that it's an Anglo name and "leans on an uncomfortable imperialist past"? Please.

OP, I went to school with a girl named Kiana, her family lived in HI at one point and loved the name. It's not too far out there and def not mainstream either.

Not at all.

Eta fucking TB ate my post again.

Firstly, there is a big difference between giving a child a name that fits within the region/culture that child is being raised in one that doesn't.

Secondly, cultural appropriation and whitewashing are things that happen, affect and hurt people. Recently there's been a lot of (rightful) backlash against Hollywood for casting white women in roles where the character was originally Asian (Scarlett Johansson as Motoko Kusangi, a Japanese character and a slightly more on the nose example, Emma Stone as Alison Ng in Aloha, a character who was of Hawaiian/Chinese descent )

This isn’t to say that you can't give a child a name that they aren't ethnically, there are plenty of names with cultural crossover. Just that one should consider the implications of taking a name without that sort of crossover if there's no heritage or raising the child within that culture.

oneblessedmess · June 2016

I think Alana is really pretty and doesn't scream "Hawaiian." Potential nicknames could be Lana or Lani.

I''ll also throw in Lea and Mona.

tuicatmama · June 2016

I loved the suggestion Kiana.
I think that naming a child something connected to a different culture can also be honouring that culture...especially if your family has personal connections to that culture.

MissAmeliaPond · June 2016

I was born and raised in Hawaii, stayed until I went to college. I'm not of native Hawaiian decent, but I'm 5th generation Hawaii resident; my family has been in Hawaii way, way longer than it has even been a state, so here's my "professional" opinion. I side-eye the crap out of any mainlanders who arbitrarily give their kids Hawaiian names, unless they actually lived there for most of their lives or have family heritage in Hawaii and wish to honor that. Hardest eye-rolls go to mainlanders who loved their vacation to Hawaii and thus give their kids Hawaiian names. Honestly, people of all races who actually live in Hawaii aren't even comfortable giving their kids Hawaiian names unless they have some native Hawaiian heritage, have a Hawaiian family member to give the child a Hawaiian name, are part of a hula halau and their kapuna can give the new child an elaborate Hawaiian middle name, etc.

These are learned opinions, by the way, that I absorbed while living there for 18 years. Most people who are really from Hawaii feel this way - it's not just me. I'm not trying to be combative or stir up any drama - just sharing some reality.

Also, I want to make it clear that I don't know what your exact situation or ties to Hawaii are, and I'm not judging your choices.

HotSauceSwagBag · June 2016

klirwin82 said:

^^ So you'd find my (black) husband's name Edward "awkward" given that it's an Anglo name and "leans on an uncomfortable imperialist past"? Please.

OP, I went to school with a girl named Kiana, her family lived in HI at one point and loved the name. It's not too far out there and def not mainstream either.

There's a huge difference between these. Historically, black people have been forced to adopt Anglo names and other Anglo traditions. Of course naming a black kid Edward doesn't lean on imperialism since black people weren't the ones doing the imperializing (not a word, I'm sure, but w/e). It's hard to steal white culture since whites forced it on pretty much everyone else.

Hawaiian culture was very much stomped out and I don't feel super qualified to go into tons of detail, but I'm under the impression that people of Hawaiian heritage feel extremely passionate and protective of their culture, and seeing one of their names used on someone that doesn't belong would not be looked on kindly. It would be like me giving my kid an Ojibwe name because we met in MN or something.

[Deleted User] · June 2016

I know enough people who lived in Hawaii for a long time and brought stories back with them to agree with PPs who say that you definitely might get shit if you give your daughter a pointedly Hawaiian name without deep ties. Like you wouldn't think to do that with other places - you wouldn't give her a Chinese name just because your H lived in China for a bit. It sounds like you were vetoing some of those names though. I think Alana is lovely.

ashleaf2018 · June 2016

Love Alana. I don't think I would go with something that's overtly Hawaiian if the child won't have any Hawaiian heritage.

Other "mainstream sounding" Hawaiian names for you to throw around:

Maliah
Lea
Kalia

Also Roselani, this one is iffy to me because it does sound very Hawaiian but she could also have the NN's Rose or Lani, which don't sound obviously Hawaiian.

AndiPandi127 · June 2016

Well, I do hear Makena a lot, though usually spelled McKenna or some other putrid way. Makena is a beach on Maui. NMS, but I wouldn't side eye it too hard. Alana is beautiful, though, and it's mainstream enough that I don't immediately associate it with Hawaii.

AndiPandi127 · June 2016

Also, Hana - another beautiful place on Maui - some people might think you are being special with the spelling, but I like it. Pat Benatar named her daughter Hana, and you know, she's awesome.

MrsBigTime · June 2016

I think this is a good example of a post that blows up on the Bump, but I have a hard time believing that any of us would ever have the same discussions with our IRL friends. I don't hold any judgements on what had been said - I simply can't see my girlfriends and I talking baby names and having to defend our reasonings for using (or not using) a certain name! That is the beauty of the bump though! Lots of informed strangers with lots of information!

I like Malia a lot and I've seen it on children with Hawaiian and non-Hawaiian heritage.

penelope4612 · June 2016

AndiPandi127 said:

Also, Hana - another beautiful place on Maui - some people might think you are being special with the spelling, but I like it. Pat Benatar named her daughter Hana, and you know, she's awesome.

FYI, Hana and Hannah are pronounced differently (at least around here) which could lend itself to some confusion.

Bringmemylongswordho · June 2016

MrsBigTime said:

I think this is a good example of a post that blows up on the Bump, but I have a hard time believing that any of us would ever have the same discussions with our IRL friends. I don't hold any judgements on what had been said - I simply can't see my girlfriends and I talking baby names and having to defend our reasonings for using (or not using) a certain name! That is the beauty of the bump though! Lots of informed strangers with lots of information!

I like Malia a lot and I've seen it on children with Hawaiian and non-Hawaiian heritage.

I think this is similar to the baby shower etiquette posts. People in real life will shy away from telling someone that throwing their own shower is rude, because confrontation is hard and most people prefer to avoid it with friends, family or coworkers they deal with on a regular basis.

Just because people aren't telling you something is rude, doesn't mean they aren’t thinking it. Look at how many posts pop up on the bump about people who tell others the name they are planning to use, and getting upset because the people they told don't like it or criticized it. The advice is always to not share a name until the baby is born and named. People's opinions and biases don't magically disappear once the baby is born, it's just that it takes a rare person to tell the mother of as newborn that Renesme is a terrible fucking name.

I think we do ourselves no favors by pretending that as long as nobody in real life is calling us out, we're not committing some sort of faux pas. It is good to research other points of view, it is good to question how and why we have made certain choices, it is good to consider the implications of our actions. This is how we grow.

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