That article was brilliant. My favorite part was giving the little tyrant a sibling LOL!
If I didn't have the bump to fill my ML time or ask questions, I would feel so alone. Oh and my mom would be who I turned to for newborn questions, mostly and that's not even option....
ETA: because where is the rest of my post? This is hilarious though so I will leave it.
Grayson was a surprise as it is. Also, the change from 2 kids to 3 has been a bit harder than we imagined (even though our older kids are 6 and 8) we are totally outnumbered and I feel it sometimes
When we were TTC MH and I decided we wanted two. Then toward the end of the pregnancy MH started flirting with the idea of 3. He kept jokingly bringing it up then more seriously. I finally asked flat out and he said he wants 3 because its the perfect number of kids. I was on board with 2 and willing to entertain the idea of 3 but now I am not so sure. Yea ok, the chances that I have another fussy, colicky baby is probably unlikely but I am not sure I want to take that risk. How would I handle a baby like this and a toddler? How would I make it to 3?! I will probably change my mind once this is all far in the rear view mirror and I forget how hard it was. I'm not sure I want to forget.
DH and I have always wanted 3 or 4...during labor I was like NOPE never happening again, I'll have to change my mindset on single children. Right after DD was born I looked at her and I instantly felt like a million bucks and my mind was back to having 3 or 4. I went to my ob today to get a prescription for me since DD and I have thrush and she went ahead and did my 6 week checkup even though I'm only 5 weeks PP tomorrow. She asked what my plans are for birth control and I responded "my husband leaves for an 8 month deployment in just a few short weeks; thats our birth control plan for now". She responded by saying "well ok, that's an effective plan, after all, I'm sure you don't want them THAT close together!". My insane ass said "well, it wouldn't be the worst thing". HA lets see if I still feel that way in a few weeks when I'm doing this all by myself for the next 8 months while all of my family and friends are across the country; I'm sure I'll look back and think I was BSC for thinking like that. That being said, I think the plan is to start trying for a second around the time DD turns 1.
Is it bad that I regularly say that this LO is killing his siblings a little more each day? Both DH and I have said this aloud to people and we've learned to keep our mouths shut because everyone looks at us in abject horror. But this tiny Mussolini is the handful who drove my grandmother, the pre k teacher for 35 years, to start praying the rosary for help because he was screaming nonstop during my 15 minute shower. I'm the only child of an only child, maybe there's a reason why?
DH and I had been insistent on having 2, but because of my fibroids we would need to try to conceive again within LO's first year. How soon does this baby amnesia kick in? 4 months? 6 months? Tomorrow? Because I want to join the wistful memory montage party and not just think about how much it irks me when people say I'm exaggerating about surviving on 3 hrs of sleep.
I loved being pregnant until the very end when I was struggling to walk and I had a challenging labor (20 hours, half of which were pushing contractions). We always said we would have three and then talk about a fourth, and even friends of ours and family would say "oh just start with one THEN you'll see!" And we would just talk about how they didn't know us. Right after Ezra was born I told my husband we needed to find a different way to have the big family we want because I couldn't do it again. That lasted about three weeks. Now we're talking about trying to wait the year the midwife recommended but not worrying too much if I get pregnant before that.
We were done, but the dh says he wants more. I'm actually on board with this more than I thought I would be and would rather have another sooner than later.
As pp have mentioned I also ranted I would never get pregnant again while I was pregnant. I would give DH the evil eye when he would talk about having another one. I was totally convinced we would only have one kid. However even after a hard end to my pregnany and being induced etc. I somehow have amnesia and want another one now. It shocks me how I could change my mind so quickly. The only thing that scares me is like pp have said ... twins run in my family . My mom is a twin and my dad has twin brothers. I am terrified of having twins my next pregnancy because three is not in our plans! We also want to wait a couple years before the next LO. Only time will tell and Lord willing.
Too soon! I always wanted 2 because my sister has always been my partner in crime. But after a difficult pregnancy and still being in the healing process for a c/s... It's hard to say. Especially since the odds of needing a c/s again are exceedingly high and I'd be going into it eyes wide open. We'll have to wait at least a year, and then we have a short window before my mid 30's creep up on me. I've already done the high risk thing and tons of testing... I don't have it in me right now to think about going through that again.
Also, typing this while pumping at 3:30am so my view may be a little tainted.
I have been saying its one and done for us since I was pregnant buuuuut I've actually found myself fantasizing about having another recently. I'm not saying I want another for sure, but it's definitely crossing my mind which feels bsc to me!
DH and I have always said 4. I was the youngest of 4, so it's just what I know. I stand by my position of wanting a big family. My mom had 4 kids in 6 years. I'm just not sure I could handle that but I wouldn't want them to be spaced out much more than that. I don't know. Side note - it's very frustrating to me that people can't let you just enjoy motherhood or your baby without asking when the next one is coming. Why is it not acceptable to only have 1 baby? Why do people automatically assume there will be more? I've had this question asked far more times than is appropriate. I mean seriously, this baby is a month old.
DH and I have always said 4. I was the youngest of 4, so it's just what I know. I stand by my position of wanting a big family. My mom had 4 kids in 6 years. I'm just not sure I could handle that but I wouldn't want them to be spaced out much more than that. I don't know. Side note - it's very frustrating to me that people can't let you just enjoy motherhood or your baby without asking when the next one is coming. Why is it not acceptable to only have 1 baby? Why do people automatically assume there will be more? I've had this question asked far more times than is appropriate. I mean seriously, this baby is a month old.
We get asked this a lot too but get the opposite reaction because we have twins. People look shocked that we are considering more. Except the people who ask if we will try for a boy lol
DH and I have always said 4. I was the youngest of 4, so it's just what I know. I stand by my position of wanting a big family. My mom had 4 kids in 6 years. I'm just not sure I could handle that but I wouldn't want them to be spaced out much more than that. I don't know. Side note - it's very frustrating to me that people can't let you just enjoy motherhood or your baby without asking when the next one is coming. Why is it not acceptable to only have 1 baby? Why do people automatically assume there will be more? I've had this question asked far more times than is appropriate. I mean seriously, this baby is a month old.
We get asked this a lot too but get the opposite reaction because we have twins. People look shocked that we are considering more. Except the people who ask if we will try for a boy lol
Usually I just mess with people to make them feel awkward. I mean, we obviously want more but it just feels expected. I just want to enjoy the baby that I have. You can't see from the outside if a couple has struggled with infertility. What if they can only have one? Its just a question that shouldn't be asked when you have a little baby. Let people enjoy the child(ren) they have.
Same as @camillaandcarson: before this one we/I wanted at least 2. I have this weird theory about even numbers of kids (DH has 2 girls already) because I don't want them to be lonely at a theme park/Disney World/on a roller coaster (yes, I know, I'm insane). Anyway, mid-labor I told DH "WHY would anyone do this more than once???" Pregnancy wasn't a walk in the park for me and I'm pretty sure I bordered on PPD for a couple of weeks, but after my wonderful night's sleep thanks to the RnP, I am wanting another--maybe just after we get a bigger house and I get a bigger car.
I wanted a tone of kids. Loved being pregnant and had a easy delivery. But once all the bills started pilling in for this one. I'm not sure how anyone can afford to do this more than once!!
Addendum to my earlier post. I weirdly really badly want to be pregnant again like right now but at the same time don't in ANY way want to be having Irish twins. Hormones are a crazy thing...
We are 2 and through! our oldest is 5 and she almost became the only child when she was 3 with her attitude. DS is awesome but we're definitely complete with 2.
Side note - it's very frustrating to me that people can't let you just enjoy motherhood or your baby without asking when the next one is coming. Why is it not acceptable to only have 1 baby? Why do people automatically assume there will be more? I've had this question asked far more times than is appropriate. I mean seriously, this baby is a month old.
THIS! People keep telling me I can't only have one...umm seriously? Pretty sure I can do whatever I want!! I also get annoyed because she's brand new, give me a break already!
Here is how logical I am depending on how much sleep I get.
2 nights ago baby slept immediately after eating during the night wakings. Toddler took a nap and baby did too at the same time! I woke up to start my day with more sleep than I have gotten since birth. I wanted 2 more. Life is awesome and lovely and look how cute these two are together, 2 more would be a great even number to avoid the middle child syndrome. Hey - maybe I will get lucky and it can even be twins to complete the family.
Last night baby was up all night until 6:00 am. I don't know how that is even possible. Baby up all night, toddler up all day and didn't go down until baby woke up for the entire night. I surrender. I think we have 2 great kids and why push our luck, 2 is a nice even number after all you know. Our family is great as is and complete. I need caffeine.
DH and I have always said 4. I was the youngest of 4, so it's just what I know. I stand by my position of wanting a big family. My mom had 4 kids in 6 years. I'm just not sure I could handle that but I wouldn't want them to be spaced out much more than that. I don't know. Side note - it's very frustrating to me that people can't let you just enjoy motherhood or your baby without asking when the next one is coming. Why is it not acceptable to only have 1 baby? Why do people automatically assume there will be more? I've had this question asked far more times than is appropriate. I mean seriously, this baby is a month old.
QBF.
I have 4 and my oldest will be 6 in August, not the easiest thing in the world. Lol.
@mslan totally understand your roller coaster idea. It had crossed my mind in the past as well.
DH thinks I've lost my mind for already talking about the next one lol we've always said we wanted 3, maybe 4 kids. Going from 1 to 2 has been surprisingly easy for us, but I know there is no guarantee of that happening again. Even so, I've already seriously got the itch, even at 2 weeks pp. We've been very lucky to get two easy kids. We're probably going to start trying again around the year/year and a half area because I really like the 2 year gap between DS and DD. However, I'm not planning on going on BC while breastfeeding and I can't honestly say I'd be upset if anything were to happen.
This weekend we had two family birthday parties, and the entire time at both of them everyone was just staring at my baby and waiting their turn to hold her. My husband is an only child and my only sister is really iffy on having kids, so there's a good chance my LO will never have cousins. With all our family in town, I realized I need to have another kid so she's not getting bombarded by grown ups all the time and has someone else her age to play with! Definitely waiting a while to start on #2, but planning on it for sure.
@yogahh Yes! The name brainstorming is fun and we already have our hypothetical set of names chosen. We'd have a lot to discuss though if we were to end up with twins (which is a little more likely since I'm a fraternal twin, and I'd be older by then).
That's a fear of mine...twins run on my side of the family. If the 2nd pregnancy results in twins, I am not sure I would be thrilled to have 3 kids! Its obviously more of a concern for you though.
That's what happened to us! Wanted two kids, tried for #2 and got #2and #3. I got my tubes tied during the c-section, a few days ago I had that "maybe one more" moment. Lol glad I took that off the table.
I'm still changing my mind about a third 10 times per day. Meanwhile, DH is now asking if he should get a vasectomy now or wait. Does anyone ever actually feel 100% done or is it just that it becomes not worth the upset of recovery, delivery, pregnancy, money, and space?
@kbrands7- for me, I worry more about finances, as well as being pregnant at a later age, and what that means to the baby. I would have a litter if I could! Just not sure it is responsible at this stage. For us, time will tell.
@kbrands7 we are life stage twins. Some days I want another baby and other days I feel good about our family being the four of us. I'm worried I'll regret not having a third, but for the next few months I'm going to try to focus on enjoying this baby since he might be my last. And revisit the idea again next winter to see how we feel. Making such a final decision feels so hard right now.
I'm all about having more after our wedding. SO and I have discussed and he only wants one more but I want at least 2 more. His fear is being in his mid to late fifties when they graduate high school, he wants to be young enough to relate and still want to do things. Both of us have young parents. He will be 29 this fall and his mom isn't quite 50 yet and same for me. My dad just turned 50 and my mom is still in her 40's. He thinks having younger parents was better growing up. I keep telling him it doesn't matter. I've already been talking about baby #2 and he keeps saying in 5 years. I would like to ultimately have 4 but I will be lucky to get him to agree to 3. He has 7 siblings and said it's too much and very chaotic. There were 4 of us in my family and it worked. But I know we will have at least one more! He really wants to try for a boy but already has another girls name picked out we will see! Watching her grow so fast makes me want another as soon as she's walking but maybe I will change my mind.
I'm still changing my mind about a third 10 times per day. Meanwhile, DH is now asking if he should get a vasectomy now or wait. Does anyone ever actually feel 100% done or is it just that it becomes not worth the upset of recovery, delivery, pregnancy, money, and space?
Mine too. But I worry now is not the best time ever to make these huge long lasting life decisions because of the severe mind numbing lack of sleep plus all the flux in hormones. So we tabled that particular conversation until this baby is 2 and follow less invasive/permanent methods.
I think some people "just know" and have that done feeling. Others don't. It isn't always clear cut. Personally I am not quite ready to close that chapter of my life forever for the rest of my life yet. Even if this could be our last baby I am not ready for that step.
I'm still changing my mind about a third 10 times per day. Meanwhile, DH is now asking if he should get a vasectomy now or wait. Does anyone ever actually feel 100% done or is it just that it becomes not worth the upset of recovery, delivery, pregnancy, money, and space?
For me I was totally happy with being done after #3 but then we got surprised with #4. Now I'm definitely done and waiting to get my tubes tied and DH snipped. Birth controlled (mirena) failed after number 3 so I'm not taking any chances of having a 5th. I legit feel done with having kids regardless of money, space, pregnancy etc.
Eta: I think that once you get past a certain age with your children you're more inclined to feel "done" because you finally get rest and have older children that have their own things going on.
So I'm almost 8 wks PP and still haven't gotten my period (normal I know) but I keep taking pregnancy tests. And then as soon as I take them I go back and forth thinking "I wish I was pregnant" and "OMG being pregnant right now would be the worst". What's happening to me! #mommymeltdown
I definitely want another, but not yet. And since I ended up with a c-section it should really be at least a year. And I have infertility issues so I can't expect to get pregnant immediately or easily when we're ready, so potentially we'll run up against me turning 35 and I realize lots of women have babies after 35 but I always thought I'd be done by then, and AAAAAHHHHHHHH.
Obviously I have a lot of emotions about this whole thing.
Yep! I know i *just* posted saying I changed my mind and can't imagine doing this again . . . I think I changed my mind again. I have been feeling less depressed lately so I think that helps. I can't imagine not having a little brother or sister for Lucine. MH and I are both single children and swore we wouldn't pass the sad, lonely, only child curse along. Ok so this is a depressing thing to think about but I lost both of my parents by 23 and I have to say that I feel very alone in the world with no immediate family. I don't want Lucy to ever feel like that if something were to happen to me and MH. I'm not looking forward to dealing with Lucy and another baby but I will just have to keep my fingers crossed that baby #2 wont be as bad as Lucy has been.
I will be 36 in September and MH just turned 54 so I really don't want to wait too long to get the ball rolling. My OB said I can get pregnant when ever I like but it makes me apprehensive having had a C-section. I feel like I should wait a bit . . .
@Kurrant I'm an only child and I know the only child loneliness. I always told my husband that we need 2. I can't have an only child. But the newborn phase is really tough. I can't imagine dealing with a toddler also. And my baby is overall a really "good" baby, so I've heard. All the ladies on here who have said going from 1 to 2 was an easier transition really gives me hope. DH said the other day when I had a meltdown, that maybe we're only cut out for 1. I really hope not. I think the fact that I grew up an only child and never had experience with infants or small children really made this experience overwhelming and stressful.
I was told by my doctor to wait a year after my c-section to get pregnant again.
@Kurrant DD1 was a really high-maintenance newborn and gave us our fair share of problems, but DD2 is polar opposite. DD1 is still more high-maintenance than the baby! Going from 1 to 2 really was much easier than having our first, and having a difficult baby doesn't necessarily mean your 2nd will be the same. Don't be discouraged if you really want another!
DH definitely wants a second, but I'm not so sure. MIL has told stories of how horrible DH and BIL were to each other growing up, to the point that not even family would agree to watch both together. BIL is the polar opposite of DH- very high maintenance, egocentric, and entitled.
DS is very much like DH and I temperment wise - easy going and generally happy. I'm scared that if we have another, I might be stuck putting up with a mini version of BIL.
However, SIL isn't sure she wants any kids or to adopt if they do, so DS might end up being the only grandchild if we don't have a second.
Nope. Although my hair looked awesome, my skin was super clear and glowing, my boobs looked great, I was in love with all types of food and my pregnancy was generally easy, I would never do it again, for more than one reason actually. #1 my labor was absolutely horrific. I was almost 2 weeks past my due date and had to be induced. After 19 hours of pure hell, I had to undergo a cs. Just awful. #2 as some pp have said- age is definitely a factor working against both DH and myself, I am 36 and he is 38. I just don't feel comfortable getting pregnant again at my age and I don't know if DH and I would be able to keep up with 2 kids lol! #3 financial hell! I am still paying off my grad school loans, we live in Brooklyn NY which is just ridiculously expensive as it is- add 2 kids on top of that? Fugghediboutit LOL!
So, these past few nights (and daytime, sometimes) LO has been doing fantastic. Eating then going straight back to sleep. I even have to wake him up because my boobs were about to explode. Pretty sure he would sleep 6 or so hours if I let him. Makes me want to have another. More sleep more possibilities for babies I say!
ETA: I can even shower without DH watching him and he just chills or falls asleep
Re: Who wants another one?
If I didn't have the bump to fill my ML time or ask questions, I would feel so alone. Oh and my mom would be who I turned to for newborn questions, mostly and that's not even option....
ETA: because where is the rest of my post? This is hilarious though so I will leave it.
Grayson was a surprise as it is. Also, the change from 2 kids to 3 has been a bit harder than we imagined (even though our older kids are 6 and 8) we are totally outnumbered and I feel it sometimes
DH and I had been insistent on having 2, but because of my fibroids we would need to try to conceive again within LO's first year. How soon does this baby amnesia kick in? 4 months? 6 months? Tomorrow? Because I want to join the wistful memory montage party and not just think about how much it irks me when people say I'm exaggerating about surviving on 3 hrs of sleep.
Also, typing this while pumping at 3:30am so my view may be a little tainted.
Side note - it's very frustrating to me that people can't let you just enjoy motherhood or your baby without asking when the next one is coming. Why is it not acceptable to only have 1 baby? Why do people automatically assume there will be more? I've had this question asked far more times than is appropriate. I mean seriously, this baby is a month old.
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
2 nights ago baby slept immediately after eating during the night wakings. Toddler took a nap and baby did too at the same time!
I woke up to start my day with more sleep than I have gotten since birth.
I wanted 2 more. Life is awesome and lovely and look how cute these two are together, 2 more would be a great even number to avoid the middle child syndrome. Hey - maybe I will get lucky and it can even be twins to complete the family.
Last night baby was up all night until 6:00 am. I don't know how that is even possible. Baby up all night, toddler up all day and didn't go down until baby woke up for the entire night. I surrender. I think we have 2 great kids and why push our luck, 2 is a nice even number after all you know. Our family is great as is and complete. I need caffeine.
So we tabled that particular conversation until this baby is 2 and follow less invasive/permanent methods.
I think some people "just know" and have that done feeling. Others don't. It isn't always clear cut.
Personally I am not quite ready to close that chapter of my life forever for the rest of my life yet. Even if this could be our last baby I am not ready for that step.
Eta: I think that once you get past a certain age with your children you're more inclined to feel "done" because you finally get rest and have older children that have their own things going on.
I will be 36 in September and MH just turned 54 so I really don't want to wait too long to get the ball rolling. My OB said I can get pregnant when ever I like but it makes me apprehensive having had a C-section. I feel like I should wait a bit . . .
I was told by my doctor to wait a year after my c-section to get pregnant again.
DS is very much like DH and I temperment wise - easy going and generally happy. I'm scared that if we have another, I might be stuck putting up with a mini version of BIL.
However, SIL isn't sure she wants any kids or to adopt if they do, so DS might end up being the only grandchild if we don't have a second.
#1 my labor was absolutely horrific. I was almost 2 weeks past my due date and had to be induced. After 19 hours of pure hell, I had to undergo a cs. Just awful.
#2 as some pp have said- age is definitely a factor working against both DH and myself, I am 36 and he is 38. I just don't feel comfortable getting pregnant again at my age and I don't know if DH and I would be able to keep up with 2 kids lol!
#3 financial hell! I am still paying off my grad school loans, we live in Brooklyn NY which is just ridiculously expensive as it is- add 2 kids on top of that? Fugghediboutit LOL!
ETA: I can even shower without DH watching him and he just chills or falls asleep