Who wants another one?

ayeshaohara

Ok so I hated being pregnant. Totally hated it. I had a horrible labour too. I said we would stop at one baby because I couldn't stand the thought of being pregnant again. 

Now just 6 weeks PP and I've managed to convince my husband that we need to have another one because I need to do this again and our girl needs a sibling. Total opposite of what I was saying 6 weeks ago! 

Anyone else changed their mind about another baby and already talking about it with their partner??

yogahh

I'm iffy. I want another one,  but not for 2 or 3 years. But by then, Ill be 37 or 38 and not sure I have the energy to do this again at that age. With a toddler. But I do play the "what will our next child's name be" game.

kbrands7

I'm conflicted about this right now. Overall I think the transition from 1 to 2 was much simpler than 0 to 1, which makes me think we could do it one more time. I also had a better birth experience this time around. On the other hand, I almost feel like I should quit while I'm ahead because I know a more laid back 2nd baby doesn't guarantee a more laid back 3rd one or another good birth. DH initially said we're a complete family week 1 pp. Now he's talking about trying for a third/a girl or adopting a baby girl so that we can raise both genders and our boys will have a little sister/she'll have big brothers. I don't think he fully understands how complicated and expensive adopting a newborn can be though and that you often can't specify sex. I *think* we're stopping at 2 unless we somehow get a bigger house and I get the baby itch again. 

kbrands7

@yogahh Yes! The name brainstorming is fun and we already have our hypothetical set of names chosen. We'd have a lot to discuss though if we were to end up with twins (which is a little more likely since I'm a fraternal twin, and I'd be older by then).

yogahh

kbrands7 said:

@yogahh Yes! The name brainstorming is fun and we already have our hypothetical set of names chosen. We'd have a lot to discuss though if we were to end up with twins (which is a little more likely since I'm a fraternal twin, and I'd be older by then).

That's a fear of mine...twins run on my side of the family. If the 2nd pregnancy results in twins, I am not sure I would be thrilled to have 3 kids! Its obviously more of a concern for you though.

Bltbear82

kbrands7 said:

I'm conflicted about this right now. Overall I think the transition from 1 to 2 was much simpler than 0 to 1, which makes me think we could do it one more time. I also had a better birth experience this time around. On the other hand, I almost feel like I should quit while I'm ahead because I know a more laid back 2nd baby doesn't guarantee a more laid back 3rd one or another good birth. DH initially said we're a complete family week 1 pp. Now he's talking about trying for a third/a girl or adopting a baby girl so that we can raise both genders and our boys will have a little sister/she'll have big brothers. I don't think he fully understands how complicated and expensive adopting a newborn can be though and that you often can't specify sex. I *think* we're stopping at 2 unless we somehow get a bigger house and I get the baby itch again. 

This, almost exactly except my first was laid back and this one is pretty easy too, just not as chill by comparison. Part of me thinks let's do it, because from 1 to 2 was so seamless, but then I think don't mess up a good balance. I'm turning 34 on Thursday, so I wouldn't necessarily want to wait 2 years again since DH would be 40 by then. Also we don't plan to move out of New York, so 3 kids in private school is feasible but seems financial irresponsible, plus 2 adults, 3 kids and a dog in this apartment might make mommy go a little crazy. 

KyleeWaller

DH and I are both 24 (my 24th birthday is actually today), and we'd like to have 3-4 children. Ainsley is our first, and I think I'd like to wait 3-4 years until adding a second baby. DH and I have also talked about fostering with the intention to adopt in the future. Ultimately, we'd like to complete our family by the time we've hit our late thirties. 

kami09

YES!!! I totally want another...but then I feel like if I have 3, I will need a fourth. Lol-- maybe that's because DH & I are both one of four. & I completely agree that 1-2 was...dare I say...easy?! Especially when I look back at how hard the first was. (Or maybe that was all on my head lol)

JessicaB0627

kbrands7 said:

I'm conflicted about this right now. Overall I think the transition from 1 to 2 was much simpler than 0 to 1, which makes me think we could do it one more time. I also had a better birth experience this time around. On the other hand, I almost feel like I should quit while I'm ahead because I know a more laid back 2nd baby doesn't guarantee a more laid back 3rd one or another good birth. DH initially said we're a complete family week 1 pp. Now he's talking about trying for a third/a girl or adopting a baby girl so that we can raise both genders and our boys will have a little sister/she'll have big brothers. I don't think he fully understands how complicated and expensive adopting a newborn can be though and that you often can't specify sex. I *think* we're stopping at 2 unless we somehow get a bigger house and I get the baby itch again. 

Exactly this, except replace having a girl with having a boy. DH really wants to try for 3rd because he wants a boy. The universe had to give me such a laid back baby this time, making it more difficult to stand by my original stance of absolutely not having another. I'm terrified to end up with 3 girls, though! That is way more attitude than I think I can handle in my household. 

Bellodomani

This is my second, and I've had two absolute nightmare pregnancies- hyperemesis both times, this time I'm going to be spending thousands of dollars on physical therapy to repair a torn stomach muscle from polyhydramnios. I think it's safe to say I am NOT built for pregnancy. I am one of 6 kids, loved growing up in a big family, and I would love to have 3 or 4 kids, but my husband is getting a vasectomy in a few months and if we decide we want more, we will go the foster/ adopt route. My church is very active in supporting the foster care system in our city, so that's a pretty appealing option to me. My husband is also pretty introverted/ high strung, so it may be better for his mental health and our marriage if we stop at 2. It bums me out to think about having such a small family, but we have a ton of friends with kids the same age, so I'm just gonna make them be together all the time like they're siblings

NinnyJean

DH and I have always wanted more kids since this is our first, I've convinced him four is a good amount. I had an easy pregnancy until the end but induction/labor was a bit traumatic for me and DH due to severe pre-eclampsia quickly developing so I think DH is happy to wait a few years to not have to relive that anytime soon. DH has three more years of pharmacy school and then we'll have another!

slfezz

I'm pretty sure we are done having kids at this point (I have 3 daughters). Going from 2 to 3 wasnt as easy as 1 to 2 but I think that has a lot to do with the youngest two being only 2 years apart vs almost 4 years apart last time.

This house is going to be "fun" enough in 8 years or so without potentially added a 4th girl in the mix since there is no guarantee the next one would be a boy. 

gamommyx3

I want at least 1 more, maybe 2. I think we'll probably start trying again after this baby turns 1 because I'll be 35 by that point. 2 kids would mean we could stay in our house & cars, but 3 would mean moving and needing a bigger car. Plus sometimes I think...could we give a better life to 2 kids (financially) and would we be short changing all 3 of them if we had 3? It's hard for me to think about the money aspect. 

mello13

After I had my son I was feeling ready for another almost immediately despite nearly dying while giving birth. I didn't want them super close together though, so we agreed we'd wait to start trying again until DS would be at least 2 when the next one was born. That day came and went, and I just didn't feel ready yet (toddlers change your perspective). We finally started trying the month before his second birthday and got pregnant month two. My pregnancy with DD was less complicated than with DS, but I suffered from severe anxiety the entire time. The birth was easier too (no near death experiences), but I have found going from one to two harder than I expected despite both kids being relatively easy babies/toddler. I am also suffering from PPD which is not something I dealt with last time.  I told DH the other day I wouldn't mind giving birth again, but just thinking about being pregnant fills me with anxiety. Add to that that I would want to wait a while, which puts me at at least 36/37, and it just doesn't seem likely. I am fairly sure we're done with two unless I get a very, very serious baby fever!

lionstigersbears

I'm surprised to be feeling the way I am, that maybe we could be complete with these two (20 months apart). I've always thought we'd end up with four! 

That being said, I'm always a bit rattled after labor and delivery. It faded fast last time and I suspect it will again, but we will wait until DD is at least 2 I think!

thismakes4

DS4 threw up all over me and needed a diaper change all at the same time. DS3 decided to strip off his diaper and shit in the hallway. DS1 and DS2 are in the shower because I found them outside playing in an area where poison oak tends to be and didn't wanna risk it. All of this before 9am. I love my boys but some days are harder than others. 

Eta: No, I do not want anymore. 

yogahh

thismakes4 said:

DS4 threw up all over me and needed a diaper change all at the same time. DS3 decided to strip off his diaper and shit in the hallway. DS1 and DS2 are in the shower because I found them outside playing in an area where poison oak tends to be and didn't wanna risk it. All of this before 9am. I love my boys but some days are harder than others. 

Eta: No, I do not want anymore. 

If you had another you would have a change your screen name and that's too much work anyways

tripledaggerWed95976

I definitely do.  I HATED being pregnant but I always wanted 3 kids... I'm only on Number one though so not sure how it's gunna go with 3.... Definitely want 1 more though

dsmith211

DH and I definitely want at least one more, but not for a few years. Possibly a third depending on when we have number 2. DH is more motivated than I am this time around bc he wants to try for a girl so we'll see what our timeline ends up being.

sarawifenow

I would love to give DS a sibling because all of his cousins live out of state. That being said, I had really severe pre-e resulting in a 2 week NICU stay. That was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. My Dr said that because my pre-e was so bad (worst case she has seen in 20 years) that she would estimate me having about a 40% chance of getting it again. That scares the crap out of DH (I can deal). What scares me is the thought of another NICU baby. We will really discuss things once DS turns 2.

saladflambe

We want a second one. Most of the time 

folamij

We want more but depending on the day the number changes. Twins run on both sides so that's my only hesitation.

bkjade

Gah! I was done (I have two older daughters 14 and 16) until DH convinced me to have one (his first), now he wants two more! That would be five kids and our giant husky. In NYC. I think we'll have one more since my older daughters will be off to college soon  

I do love being pregnant and having kids, but man, I'm getting too old for this s***. Yesterday had a long talk about sex with the older kid (GROSS!) and then got pooped on by the little one. Just shat right on my shoe as I was getting her weight at the doc. And three girls? Did I mention that DH is a saint? The hormones in this apartment sometimes. . .

Kennedy0830

saladflambe said:

We want a second one. Most of the time 

This is how DH and I are. I think I should be asked again around the 6 week mark. Currently the thought of another one is mentally exhausting (MAD PROPS to all of the moms with more than 1 child). Also, financially it seems a couple of years away anyway. I'm good with my one right now

MrsO11/24/2006

We are most certainly done.  3 kids...one girl/2 boys...perfect for us! Both Dh and I are from families of 3.  I also feel like the transition from 2-3 was a lot harder than 1-2...maybe b/c of the age difference...My DD is 6.5 and my ds is 4..so it I was in pretty sweet spot of motherhood..potty trained, can get stuff they want to eat out of the fridge, turn on the tv themselves turn the channel...INDEPENDENCE!  DH is getting his vasectomy soon!

lalala2004

I always wanted at least two. Now I'm thinking 3.... And we always said we'd wait 18months to try again, but now I'm thinking sooner....

JessicaB0627

@bkjade How is it having 16 and 14 year old girls? Our girls are 3 years apart and I am so worried about that age in particular! 

missnc77

I will reserve my answer for after the newborn phase. 

Speaking of which, I found is article yesterday. Banking on the amnesia hitting in 2 years. 

https://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/04/before-i-forget-what-nobody-remembers-about-new-motherhood/274981/

eaorear

I always thought we'd have at least two years between siblings, but now I can't imagine waiting that long. I'm already excited about getting that started (but not just yet!)!

KidShrink

I initially wanted 4. Then started working with kids full time and decided I loved my career and two of my own would be sufficient. Then started TTC and only 2 years later got pregnant, so the plan was to try for #2 ASAP. After everything that's happened...I just don't know. It makes me sad to think he could be our only one, but at the same time I want to be there, happy and healthy for him. Right now, we've agreed to enjoy our little guy for two years or so (by then we'll be 33-34) and depending on my recovery, see from there. I've already put it out there that IF there is a #2, I'll be having a RCS under general anesthesia- not my dream birth by any means, but I wouldn't risk an epidural again given the consequences it's had for me. It sucks because at this point, we've gone from desperately wanting a baby (and having a great pregnancy...I felt gorgeous with my big belly no matter how heavy it got at the end), to thinking the worst thing that could happen to me right now would be to get pregnant again. I have my 6 week appointment on Friday, and will be asking to get on the mini pill. Bleh

camillaandcarson

Before we had our first we wanted more than 1.
Then we had one and thought hey, one is good, people who have more than 1 are crazy. When  the first started to let us get regular sleep that was when we were like hey maybe another isn't a bad idea...
Now we have 2. And now we aren't sleeping again.  

Could it be the no sleep severe sleep deprivation kills brain cells and people forget how hard it is and go ahead and have another? Case in point the article posted above by missnc77. 

Sunshinebins

I've always wanted 3 kids but obviously wasn't expecting twins our first go! So, yes I for sure want another, DH is undecided but figures he will once the girls are a year or so and sleep better honestly I'm nuts and already think about it a lot despite being crazy busy with my 2 

bkjade

@JessicaB0627 - I love the age difference for my daughters. They're 2.5 years apart and when they were little they were inseparable. They are still very close, best friends most of the time. Of course, they argue from time to time but not on the regular. 

hellogoodbye2

I was just thinking about this. My uterus doesn't feel done. I think I want 1 more.

After having our first daughter I honestly wasn't sure about having more kids and it took me until about 1.5 years pp until I was ready to even talk about having another. 

I I can't believe this time, at only 2 weeks pp, I'm feeling like I want another! But who knows if we really will try for another. Won't talk about that for awhile. 

vinerie

I have twin sisters two years younger than me, and My sisters were a big part of my life growing up, and still are very important to me. So I always thought if I have one, I'm really having at least two. I still feel that way, but newborn hours are tough enough--I can't quite imagine doing this w a toddler. But many people do, and do it successfully, so yes, I want another. But I'm not really thinking about it a whole lot right now..

Bluejay3030

I've been giving away all the baby clothes/toddler clothes and supplies immediately as DS and DD grow out of them in an effort to make it as inconvenient as possible to have a 3rd.  I was totally blindsided by baby fever this time, because after our first was born it took over a year for me to come around to the idea of a second.  

tgortney

Funny this thread came up. DH and DS came with me yesterday for my 4 week PP check up. DH heard the doctor say we shouldn't try to get pregnant again till at least 1 year from c-section date. 

Afterwards, DH said to DS, "well, looks like it's going to be another year before we can give you a little sister" oy!! I always said I wanted 2, at least, because being an only child myself was lonely. 

Somedays when he's looking super cute all snuggled up to me, then yesss I totally want more! But when he's screaming in my face, it's like NOPE JUST ONE!

DH and I are done with kids by 30 (I'm 26 this year) or very early 30s. We'll retire at 51-52 so all kiddos must be out of the house by then!! 

PYLWhammy

I know DH wants another- I do too, but not for a loong time. And I'm saying this as someone who had an easy pregnancy and has a relatively easy (so far) baby!

Pascal86

I've always wanted two but right now I'm barely four days post-partum so... no. I feel pretty sure I'll change my mind and never intended to try again until at least a year out anyway, but just so much no right now to being pregnant and giving birth again!

Jenly17

Somehow, I want a 3rd... The whole thing is a mind game I think. When my kids are quiet and I get decent sleep, I really want another. Days like today though ( super challenging)  I want to rip my hair out and I think I can just stop here.

If I'm being honest though, I want a third even on the challenging days. I love being a Mom, and I think I'll have that complete feeling when the time is right. 

Bluejay3030

tgortney said:

Funny this thread came up. DH and DS came with me yesterday for my 4 week PP check up. DH heard the doctor say we shouldn't try to get pregnant again till at least 1 year from c-section date. 

Afterwards, DH said to DS, "well, looks like it's going to be another year before we can give you a little sister" oy!! I always said I wanted 2, at least, because being an only child myself was lonely. 

Somedays when he's looking super cute all snuggled up to me, then yesss I totally want more! But when he's screaming in my face, it's like NOPE JUST ONE!

DH and I are done with kids by 30 (I'm 26 this year) or very early 30s. We'll retire at 51-52 so all kiddos must be out of the house by then!! 

This is one of the things stopping me from thinking about a 3rd, too.  Lol.