My complaint is my faulty boobs! I have had clogged milk ducts in both breasts for a week! It is so incredibly painful! I have tried everything to get them unclogged! It works for like a day then it seems to clog right back up! I am hardly producing anything anymore...I'm really sad that this might lead to me stopping to pump for Henry. I already had a pretty low supply to start with and now with this I just can't take all the added stress along with dealing with all the emotions of the NICU!
Dang @Nerdchild and @Kellyj103!!! It doesn't usually get that warm there. Find a pool!! We have to go to a celebratory bbq in Stockton later today for a good friend. She's lucky she's a GOOD friend, lol. I'd love nothing more than to stand in front of a high powered fan all day or be in a heavily air conditioned space.
@abpl2014 if you're on Facebook there's a group called "milky mamas" that is awesome. I joined just to lurk and learn, but the ladies there are crazy knowledgeable. Obviously do what's best for your health and your LO, but if you're looking for another source of support and help I thought I'd throw it out there.
my bitch - my SIL for texting DH and I at 7:15 this morning. Not for any particular reason, but because she was awake to go to work and wanted to tell us a cute story about what her daughter said about LO. This is like the 3rd Saturday in a row she's done this and to top it off I had fallen back to sleep only about an hour before after being up since 3:30 with insomnia.
Guys....guys....I've pooped twice this morning (not necessarily abnormal) and I shit-you-not (heh) I've dropped 5 lbs. I wish I would have taken pictures of my scale, because it's a legit 5 lbs of loss in the period of an hour and a half. I'm a regular pooper, WHERE IS ALL OF THIS POOP COMING FROM?!?!
Put me in the "too hot and sweaty to live or do anything" club. It's supposed to be like 100 today, and I'm already dying. I had to sleep with the fan and AC cranked, no blanket, and still barely slept at all. Another month of this...? Oy vey.
I'm here for the 'woken up early by idiots' club. I was on-call for surgery last night. If they had an emergency case from 5:30pm yesterday to 7am this morning, they would call me in. The Saturday call person then takes over at 7am. I'm up all night anyways like everyone else, so I was looking forward to sleeping in this morning. Yeah. Right. The operator calls me at 6:45 this morning, the phone rings 3 times and I answer and she hangs up. Nothing else after that. I technically get 30 minutes to be at work anyways when called in, so they never should have called me to begin with because the Saturday person would have had to be called in regardless. I was so angry. Of course I couldn't go back to sleep.
@brandiK The call and hang up bugs the shit out of me. Even if I realize I am but dialing someone I hang up and immediately text an apology so a)we don't have to have a convo about butt dialing and b)they aren't looking at their phone screaming 'Why the fuck did she call me?!'
@Nerdchild Yes! This lady should have at least stayed on the phone and told me never mind rather than waking me up and hanging up. Then I just worry that I'll be fired for not coming in lol. Is it wrong that I don't care at this point?
My Mom acts like such a child. She was sober for a month because of her diet and the last three weekends she's been giving it hell aka her back to normal. When she drinks it's not just one or two it's full blown slurring words, can't walk, eyes won't focus, acting dumb af, getting two DUIs going two blocks, drunk. It's just as bad as when a 21 year old goes out and she's nearing 50. Now don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with cutting loose but it's just ridiculous.
My mom has kind of like an "adopted daughter" her mom has been really sick the past few years and her and my step dad are friends with her dad. We've gotten pretty close over the years, she's like a sister and her kids look at my mom and step dad as grandparents. Well last night she texted asking why my mom was going off on her so all I did was text her and ask. She called me right away and I knew she was drunk she was slurring her words and everything, her reason was "She said she was breaking up with her boyfriend and she didn't." And that effects you how? Is all I said to her and she hung up on me. Woke up this morning to over 40 text messages from her about how everyone hates her, she's tired of everyone's drama and bs and blah blah blah.
I was fucking pissed. All I did was ask a questions and didn't agree with her because her reasoning was stupid. I texted her back this morning saying last night was a prime example on why she will never be left alone with this baby. I can't trust her, every weekend she needs to get blackout drunk. You can't take care of yourself like that, let alone a kid. I've been telling her since I was 6 weeks pregnant that she needs to stop smoking in the house if she wants me to come over with him and she hasn't she said she still has time. Um, you don't. Their house smells like smoke so bad it would take WEEKS to get that smell out. Still no whooping caugh vaccine that I've been asking her about for over a month. I could name a million other reasons why she asks like a teenager and not an adult also. I'm over it, I'm fucking over it. I'm so sick and tired of acting like a mother to my own mom because she can't fucking take care of herself.
@Shelby00519 This is a huge reason why I am glad my mother is no longer part of my life. She had a tendency to act JUST like your mom and I couldn't deal with it any more. This was about 5 years ago that I stopped talking to her. At this point, I don't think she even knows I am pregnant because she has pissed my dad off so much that he has also stopped talking to her and keeping her up to date on how I am doing. (Telling him she doesn't have a daughter because she wasn't invited to my wedding sent him over the edge.)
It makes me sad that my LO won't get to meet someone that for most of my life was very close to me, but the more I think about it, the more ok with it I become. You have to do was is best for you and your baby, even if that means denying someone visits until they get their act together. Its tough love, but sometimes that is sadly the only way people will actually come to the realization that they need to grow up. I wish you the very best of luck with your situation, because I know how difficult dealing with someone like that can be. *hugs!!*
That's terrible, @Shelby00519!! I'm so sorry you're dealing with that. Especially pregnant! It's so selfish on her part. You're making the right choices though. Maybe once the baby comes and she realizes you're not bending on your requests that will motivate her to change.
@Shelby00519 Im so sorry you have to deal with that! Your mom sounds so selfish and right now in your pregnancy you don't need that kind of stress!
@tiffrox81 oooh Stockton is going to be hot!!! Hope you're staying hydrated! It was kind of muggy during our pictures but my husband and I feel like we're a sweaty mess. Going home and blasting that AC!!!
@Nerdchild the Bay Area heat wave is not the business!!! Makes me miss living in SF just a little!
@Shelby00519 I'm sorry that sucks but good for you for standing up for yourself and baby and not giving in. So sorry you have to deal with her in such a toxic state
@Nerdchild it will hopefully be permanent maternity leave from this place. I gave it a good go for a year and really dread going into work each day. I HATE being on call and I really don't think I'll be able to make it work when I need daycare. I actually have an interview in a couple weeks that I'm hoping works out.
@Shelby00519 my mother is exactly the same. Has had a horrible drinking problem for the past few years at least. My sister and I had no idea how bad it was because she has lived in another state for quite awhile. But it's bad. She will get so argumentative about absolutely nothing. We tried to get her help and she refused. She will text randomly, usually when she wants to ask for money. Will say she hasn't drank in so many days or weeks yet you can tell she is drunk at the time. She's asked me twice my whole pregnancy how I'm doing. It is a relief honestly to just not deal with her, we don't need the extra stress of worrying about someone who won't worry about themselves. I feel exactly like you do with having to be her mother rather than the other way around. She acts like it's because of her that my sister and I grew up to be so normal, but it's really in spite of her. Just know that you are doing what is right for you and your family and no one can fault you for that. You can only try so many times.
@Shelby00519 You described my mother-in-law to a T! She actually lucked out on her last DUI (third strike) and got the charge busted down to wet and reckless so she wouldn't have to go away for life. My husband recently cut her off completely and forbade her from trying to contact me at all. I say make your rules and stand your ground. Her behavior means she gets zero right to dictate how any relationship with you and your child plays out.
To you ladies dealing with mothers with addiction problems (or any loved one), all I can say is stay strong and make good decisions without regret. It's hard. So hard. And know that you are doing the right thing by your LOs. That's your job now - raising good babies into good people. Not raising parents to be acceptable humans.
Thanks everyone. It's hard my sister pretty much cut her out completely and I feel bad doing the same. The month she wasn't drinking was great, then she went right back to it. Hopefully when baby comes it's the kick in the butt she needs.
Wow. My mother never used to drink, but, since my parents are getting a divorce, she's developed this "I'll do whatever I want" attitude. She's been going to bars with the rest of her terrible family. They all just like to party and enjoy the bar scene. With my mom's new found childish attitude, I found out she actually tried to visit my daughter in the NICU without me even though I told her I may not be able to drive for a bit because of the C-Section. She never called to ask to visit or offer to drive me. Luckily, they didn't let her in.
My fil is a hoarder and is moving to a new house, which don't get me wrong is great, what's not great is that he can't move anything for himself because he's in "too much pain" and has left his moving to other people. DH's siblings are too busy to help or flat out refuse and DH is stuck moving loads of junk with some people my fil managed to convince from church. He told these wonderful people that he doesn't have much left when in fact there are 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and a living room stacked high full of shit. If it wasn't inappropriate I would burn all of his crap and leave him with a bed, dresser and sofa.
To the ladies struggling with moms and their addiction problems, I'm so sorry, I really hope things work out.
My husband was gone for a few weeks and when he's finally home and we're able to be intimate, I get a painful BH contraction right in the middle of it. Thanks, uterus.
I normally don't have something to bitch on here about but I figured you ladies would relate. We've told a couple family members that we don't want visitors at the hospital because I want time to bond with my daughter and get all the help with BF uninterrupted and get all the rest that I can while I have the help of the nurses before its just my husband and I at home. Well of course that didn't go over well. So I was thinking of just doing a 24 hour time period of no visitors but then I started to think as a parent you are going to make decisions that people won't like and agree with. I guess this is just my first parenting decision and people are not happy with it.
Married: August 2012
TTC #1: July 2015
BFP 1: October 30, 2015; EDD: July 6, 2016- Team Pink
@BeachTigress we're doing the same thing, stay strong! I figure people who love us should be able to understand that and respect our wishes. Don't feel like you need to rationalize your decisions to anyone.
Thanks ladies!! Good to know that I have ya'lls support, and my husband. One of the parents even said "but I want to be there to see the birth". I told my husband the only person that's going to be there to see the birth is him, the doctor and nurses. I'm sure seeing her at two days old is going to be just as amazing as seeing her at a few hours old.
Married: August 2012
TTC #1: July 2015
BFP 1: October 30, 2015; EDD: July 6, 2016- Team Pink
@BeachTigress why is it that anyone assumes they will be in the delivery room? I just don't get it. I had originally not put a ton of thought into whether to allow anyone and everyone to visit afterwards until my SIL had her baby a couple of months ago. There were literally 10 or so people in her room while she was laboring and progressing. People that didn't need to be there whatsoever. I realized how obnoxious that must be and we went out to the waiting room. My husband and I decided on the way home that we will let a couple people know (parents mainly) that we are even at the hospital and the rest of them can find out later. This is all about YOU and your baby and being as comfortable as you can be. I can't see them being mad for long once they get to eventually see that baby.
I normally don't have something to bitch on here about but I figured you ladies would relate. We've told a couple family members that we don't want visitors at the hospital because I want time to bond with my daughter and get all the help with BF uninterrupted and get all the rest that I can while I have the help of the nurses before its just my husband and I at home. Well of course that didn't go over well. So I was thinking of just doing a 24 hour time period of no visitors but then I started to think as a parent you are going to make decisions that people won't like and agree with. I guess this is just my first parenting decision and people are not happy with it.
**stuck in the stupid box!**
We decided we aren't going to even tell people that I am in labor. We really want to just be present in that moment and not worrying about updates via calls/texts (our parents/siblings all live states away so phone will be our only contact). We are ok with hospital visitors after several hours, it'll only be the few friends we have locally. But we also decided to have ZERO home visits for the first 10 days home. My husband gets 10 days leave and we want to be able to just adjust and to savor those days with just us and the baby I don't even feel bad about it.
@PinkLady2015 that's what I don't understand, my MIL seems to want to be there and I don't understand why. I'm not trying to see her push out a baby so I just assumed that goes both ways....
I want my mom for sure in there because she wasn't present for the birth of DD and it's important to me that she be there for this one. I was there when my sister gave birth to my niece and thought it was the coolest thing.
Ladies who don't want visitors.. stay strong! Only you know what's right for your family and your baby. Don't let anyone tell you differently.
So my shower was today, and I'm super annoyed because my best friend and 2 of my sisters were going to throw it, and my obnoxious SIL stepped in and decided to head everything and leave my sisters out of it. I feel so bad for them, they really wanted to do this for me. Not trying to sound ungrateful because it was a nice afternoon, but this was my sisters' idea and they were pretty bummed they weren't included. (They are 21 and 19 so are still pretty young and tend not to stick up for themselves.)
My mom said she had all four of her sisters, her mom, my dad, and a couple of aunts in the room at my birth. I asked if she felt uncomfortable with everyone there since it's really common on here that ladies don't want any one but their SO in the room but she said she was fine with it. Still don't really know what I want but if I don't want anyone there then I definitely think the best option is to not say anything until I'm ready for them to come.
I'm hitting the stage of pregnancy that I just don't feel like random trolls are worth any form of energy other than to be told bye. Especially when the community has been really great lately. Since babies are coming soon can we all just lay off the report button and ignore trolls because many of us have Been here from the beginning several newcomers are here now too and I'm really over seeing petty bans
Re: Weekend Bishsesh
AND it's gonna be like 100 degrees today again. Lovely.
July16 JULY siggy challenge
Eta:
my bitch - my SIL for texting DH and I at 7:15 this morning. Not for any particular reason, but because she was awake to go to work and wanted to tell us a cute story about what her daughter said about LO. This is like the 3rd Saturday in a row she's done this and to top it off I had fallen back to sleep only about an hour before after being up since 3:30 with insomnia.
Married: October 2014
TTC #1 since September 2015
My mom has kind of like an "adopted daughter" her mom has been really sick the past few years and her and my step dad are friends with her dad. We've gotten pretty close over the years, she's like a sister and her kids look at my mom and step dad as grandparents. Well last night she texted asking why my mom was going off on her so all I did was text her and ask. She called me right away and I knew she was drunk she was slurring her words and everything, her reason was "She said she was breaking up with her boyfriend and she didn't." And that effects you how? Is all I said to her and she hung up on me. Woke up this morning to over 40 text messages from her about how everyone hates her, she's tired of everyone's drama and bs and blah blah blah.
I was fucking pissed. All I did was ask a questions and didn't agree with her because her reasoning was stupid. I texted her back this morning saying last night was a prime example on why she will never be left alone with this baby. I can't trust her, every weekend she needs to get blackout drunk. You can't take care of yourself like that, let alone a kid. I've been telling her since I was 6 weeks pregnant that she needs to stop smoking in the house if she wants me to come over with him and she hasn't she said she still has time. Um, you don't. Their house smells like smoke so bad it would take WEEKS to get that smell out. Still no whooping caugh vaccine that I've been asking her about for over a month. I could name a million other reasons why she asks like a teenager and not an adult also. I'm over it, I'm fucking over it. I'm so sick and tired of acting like a mother to my own mom because she can't fucking take care of herself.
It makes me sad that my LO won't get to meet someone that for most of my life was very close to me, but the more I think about it, the more ok with it I become. You have to do was is best for you and your baby, even if that means denying someone visits until they get their act together. Its tough love, but sometimes that is sadly the only way people will actually come to the realization that they need to grow up. I wish you the very best of luck with your situation, because I know how difficult dealing with someone like that can be. *hugs!!*
@tiffrox81 oooh Stockton is going to be hot!!! Hope you're staying hydrated! It was kind of muggy during our pictures but my husband and I feel like we're a sweaty mess. Going home and blasting that AC!!!
@Nerdchild the Bay Area heat wave is not the business!!! Makes me miss living in SF just a little!
July16 JULY siggy challenge
@Shelby00519 my mother is exactly the same. Has had a horrible drinking problem for the past few years at least. My sister and I had no idea how bad it was because she has lived in another state for quite awhile. But it's bad. She will get so argumentative about absolutely nothing. We tried to get her help and she refused. She will text randomly, usually when she wants to ask for money. Will say she hasn't drank in so many days or weeks yet you can tell she is drunk at the time. She's asked me twice my whole pregnancy how I'm doing. It is a relief honestly to just not deal with her, we don't need the extra stress of worrying about someone who won't worry about themselves. I feel exactly like you do with having to be her mother rather than the other way around. She acts like it's because of her that my sister and I grew up to be so normal, but it's really in spite of her. Just know that you are doing what is right for you and your family and no one can fault you for that. You can only try so many times.
So so much love in your direction, ladies.
To the ladies struggling with moms and their addiction problems, I'm so sorry, I really hope things work out.
So my shower was today, and I'm super annoyed because my best friend and 2 of my sisters were going to throw it, and my obnoxious SIL stepped in and decided to head everything and leave my sisters out of it. I feel so bad for them, they really wanted to do this for me. Not trying to sound ungrateful because it was a nice afternoon, but this was my sisters' idea and they were pretty bummed they weren't included. (They are 21 and 19 so are still pretty young and tend not to stick up for themselves.)