Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Crunchy Mama Thread
This baby we have a halo bassinet right by my side of the bed, I love it so much, baby not so much. Baby also doesn't really care for the RNP. Both those are a hit or a miss. Baby does like bed sharing and or napping on a person.
Teeth weren't a problem. But a lazy or bad latch can be, but if you are aware of that teeth can't get you. My LO was good about never biting. There are articles on kellymom and in the book the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding about how to prevent and curb biting too.
We drove straight into crunchy town here where we live when we chose not only a water birth but, gasp, a home birth. Vaginal delivery in our town is on the decline so everyone thought baby and I were going to die. -eyeroll- (Not to downplay the very real risks involved but that was what most people were saying.)
Anyways, we do a lot of attachment parenting, baby wearing, EBF, cosleeping, using an amber necklace for teething, and making our own baby food when the time comes. We're also being picky about which and when vaccinations are given to our daughter. Like @lalala2004 we're trying to use up all our gifted diapers before switching to our cloth stash. All of which I can't wait to try out! We mostly have prefolds but I got a few used pockets to try as well.
I'm going to really enjoy this group!
Edit: We're also attempting elimination communication (summing it up it's were you help your child be aware of their bodily functions early on). We were just going to try it out but she's been responding really well to it! Yay for less diapers to change!
I agree. Was trying to bite my tongue at that comment, so thanks for saying something.
@jomunson, I am glad your LO took to BF so easily. Not everyones does. It took over a week for my supply to come in, so I had no choice but to FF if I wanted her to eat. Then after it came in, to be honest, it was easier to keep her FF since we had a routine started. Everyones situation is different.
I don't think you meant any harm, but I assure you I wasn't chomping at the bit at all when I made the very difficult and emotional decision to bottle and then formula feed. But after trying twice and both of my children dropping 13%+ of their body weight in 24 hours and failing to meet the wet/dirty diaper requirements for 36 hours I made the best choice for their health and my sanity. I guess I was chomping at the bit to make sure they stayed fed and hydrated.
I do want to address the going back to work issue, though, because it has a lot of stigma attached to it as well (at least where I live). It seems to be assumed around here that when you return to work, you stop bf. It's completely possible to return to work full time and extended bf or bf. I did it, though it was difficult and I lost some social standing at work because of it-- because I became the pain in the ass who wouldn't give up her unpaid 30min lunch to do someone a favor because I needed it to pump, and becauae anytime I was challenged on that, I reminded administration that it was my legal right, besides the fact that lunch is an off the clock time anyway. I pumped immediately before work, and right before leaving as well, then bf again as soon as I got home an hour later and through the night/all weekend. Every time it got hard, whether from the temporary supply dip at the beginning, or a plugged duct, or a temporary supply dip from days when I couldn't stay hydrated enough or ended up sick, I was told to just give it up already. The lack of support increased once he passed 1 yr, to the point where when he was over 18mo and my supply couldn't keep up during pregnancy, I stopped pumping and let my milk change over as he slowly weaned from bf at night.
Edited typos
this is definitely NOT a threat for judging ft moms or bottle moms (hey, I give a bottle once a day and have to go back to work).
i apologize if I upset anyone. Every mom is an awesome mom no matter what they feed their baby.
But also I'm glad we brought this up because I'm really struggling with giving my baby bottles. I'm going back to work in September and I worry Ezra will start preferring the bottle. I'm glad this thread has so many different moms on there.
A few suggestions for keeping up with bf while bottle feeding: 1) use a slow flow or premie nipple, even as LO gets older 2) have someone besides you feed the bottle so that you remain the bfing source 3) use paced feeding 4) keep bfing as bonding time during not nighttime feedings so that LO gets to and wants to interact with you then (play with the baby--no phones and such!)
If a woman wants or needs to wean or switch to formula sooner, for whatever reason, it's completely understandable. What is sad, however, is that she would be forced or pressured to due to lack of support or cultural norms.
According to LLL and their sources, the time a child would wean from BF on demand completely on their own would be between 2 1/2 to 7 years. Obviously most people in the Western world don't go that long. There certainly isn't anything wrong with that, as after 1 year babies start to derive a large portion of their nutrition from food, but it makes you wonder why our culture has shifted so far from what seems biologically normal in this way. I myself am not sure how I'll feel after 2 years of BFing, and I don't see myself going long after that at all. I suuuuure would not be going to age 7! It is what it is.
1. No pacifiers available for comfort
2. Breast milk is always available, even when food is scarce
3. It's a ready made meal, no need to purée, cut, cook, serve, or clean up after a messy baby or toddler!
In today's times these things don't matter much, but it certainly doesn't make BFing for an extended period of time any less natural. People just don't have experience with it.
When I was a baby, my mom thought I weaned myself at 9 months old. That's because she was feeding me food first, then offering to BF. Of course I didn't want it, I had already eaten and was full!
Anyone on her feed in public without a cover? How was it? Tell me everything!
You've got this!