@JoMunson My first made it very clear he hated the cover, so I nursed him w/o any sort of cover from the very beginning, and it was so much easier that I haven't even bothered buying a cover this time around. If you're concerned about exposure I find the easiest way to stay relatively covered is to layer a loose shirt over a nursing tank and pull up the shirt and let it drape around baby's head. Honestly though, even nursing in just a tank or whatever, I feel like I've never gotten a dirty look in Palo Alto or Portland (well duh Portland, public nursing is very accepted here). You got this! And it only gets easier as baby gets better at latching without help from you.
@JoMunson My first made it very clear he hated the cover, so I nursed him w/o any sort of cover from the very beginning, and it was so much easier that I haven't even bothered buying a cover this time around. If you're concerned about exposure I find the easiest way to stay relatively covered is to layer a loose shirt over a nursing tank and pull up the shirt and let it drape around baby's head. Honestly though, even nursing in just a tank or whatever, I feel like I've never gotten a dirty look in Palo Alto or Portland (well duh Portland, public nursing is very accepted here). You got this! And it only gets easier as baby gets better at latching without help from you.
@JoMunsonI agree that the nursing tank under another tank or t-shirt has worked well for me to nurse out and about. It does make me a little hot, but I don't have the patience for a cover! I also like that my belly remains covered with this option. Let us know how it goes for you!
Mama to Three Girls: Twins born March 2014 at 26 weeks due to preterm labor and our 37weeker born May 9th, 2016!
Baby #1 I used a cover often, but not always. Baby #2 well, I am too busy chasing/supervising/ the toddler, I have yet to cover. So far no problems. But if I do feel I need a cover I will just use one of those super thin muslin swaddle blankets.
I do layer my clothing so it is somewhat less conspicuous and easy for baby access. As in nursing bra, nursing tank top, then a light shirt over those.
I guess I'm on the crunchy spectrum on quite a few topics. My big one where I don't know where to begin is baby wearing . my lo loves to be held and I love holding him. Being able to use my hands throughout the day would be helpful tho... Any baby wearing masters out there have any advice on where to start.
@lizChesnut do you have a wrap or carrier yet? If you're unsure what kind to get you ought to be able to find a local chapter of baby wearers international (they should have a Facebook page), they have meet ups where they can teach you how to properly wear your baby and a lending library to help you figure out which kind of carrier/wrap is best for you. I'm a novice but LO and i both love our Solly baby wrap. The online tutorial was all i needed to learn how to wear it and it is so great! I wear her around the house and out and about in it. I was given an ergo at my shower but I haven't taken it out of the box yet, ill probably use it when she's a big bigger.
@JoMunson some emotional support....I think you'll find that even with a few side eyes, finger pointing and even a rude comment about nursing in public, that you'll get so many more supportive comments, kind smiles, and overall just loving looks of solidarity from other moms. I hold onto those moments and make sure to dish them out to other moms!
@JoMunson I agree with all PPs about layering with a tank. It can really be done prey inconspicuously. I also try to find a place to sit that isn't super out in the open. I don't mind NIP, but I still don't want to completely expose myself in front of everyone if I can avoid it. So far DS doesn't seem to mind the cover, but I think it causes him to nurse lazily because he is warm and it's dark so he falls asleep. Then he is hungry again 10 minutes later because he barely ate anything. I only use it around people who I know will be uncomfortable (my inlaws) or if I'm in a really busy place (like the mall food court).
I read this thread at 3am while feeding LO. When I went back to sleep, I dreamed that I pulled out righty at the banana and let her go to town. This forum is affecting my dreams now.
Edit: At the bank, not banana. But I'm leaving that autocorrect right where it is.
I read this thread at 3am while feeding LO. When I went back to sleep, I dreamed that I pulled out righty at the banana and let her go to town. This forum is affecting my dreams now.
Edit: At the bank, not banana. But I'm leaving that autocorrect right where it is.
@lizChesnut do you have a wrap or carrier yet? If you're unsure what kind to get you ought to be able to find a local chapter of baby wearers international (they should have a Facebook page), they have meet ups where they can teach you how to properly wear your baby and a lending library to help you figure out which kind of carrier/wrap is best for you. I'm a novice but LO and i both love our Solly baby wrap. The online tutorial was all i needed to learn how to wear it and it is so great! I wear her around the house and out and about in it. I was given an ergo at my shower but I haven't taken it out of the box yet, ill probably use it when she's a big bigger.
This. The birth center I was supposed to use has monthly meetings where you can try on different wraps/carriers and find what is best for you without buying. If you could find out where local meetings are for you I would highly recommend it.
LO and I currently love our K'Tan as it's really simple to use, which is awesome when he's screaming bc he wants to be held.
We have another carrier we were gifted that I'm waiting to use when he's a little bigger. It's similar to an Ergo. I also want to get a Tula though... Both a wrap and the carrier. I know several people who have used those and they love them.
@lizChesnut - we have a Solly and a Tula and love both of them. I prefer the Solly for now and DH prefers the Tula. I tried the K'tan but didn't like it as much as the Solly, also it didn't fit DH since you have to get it in a certain size. Like PP said, find a place you can try them out (a store near me has a lending library of carriers) and see what feels best to you. I know DH really likes wearing the Solly when he's around the house, writing, and cleaning, but wears the Tula when we are out. I have some friends who swear by ring slings, it's nice to have so many options!
I second what everyone has written about trying carriers/wraps out first. I do not have a baby wearing group near me and it felt a bit daunting to try to commute to wherever they were. However I found a shop that had lots of carriers available to try on and so tried on a few there once I had narrowed it down in my online searches.
On paper, wraps seemed to be the way to go but I wound up not liking them. I bought the Boba wrap and then the K'tan active and I hated both of them. Baby didn't feel secure in either and instructions for the Boba felt overwhelming as a new mom. I saw a mom wearing the Boba wrap the other day and I could see the baby was half falling out of it and it just reinforced my decision to have gotten rid of both. However, soooo many moms love them and clearly have the knack for tying them and getting babies snuggled in securely. I say this not to dissuade you from getting a wrap but more to show why it's important to try things on before you buy.
For me, a SSC was the way to go and the Beco Gemini and Lillebaby were my favorites in terms of features and ease of use. I have an Ergo as well but without the newborn insert it won't work on LO until he is older. My Beco Gemini is wearable with newborns without an insert and is super comfy.
I will say that I can imagine wraps are nicer for around the house as they carry higher and don't have buckles. That likely makes it more comfy to wear them while sitting.
I'll say I have a love/hate relationship with my ergo. It feels really secure when he's on and the infant insert doubles for us as a swaddle when he needs it (we call it the lettuce leaf) but I can't really put it on myself and Ezra/I get really hot in it during the day. We're trying to figure out the ring sling before I go and buy a k'tan breeze!
I second @seasalt123 on the beco. It's similar to the ergo but with lots of little perks and increased functionality- most importantly the ability to accommodate a newborn without the insert i.e. sweat factory.
So, since we are on the topic of carriers/wraps - does anyone recommend a particular carrier for use while breastfeeding? I'm not planning on wearing a carrier regularly (right now...), but Emily hasn't been letting me get a lot of sleep lately, and after a recent incident where I passed out cold from sheer exhaustion while pumping, I'm terrified that the same thing will happen during a late night breastfeeding session and that I'll drop her without knowing it like I did with the pump. I've been thinking that it might be safer to feed her while she's secure in something, if that's possible...especially once DH goes back to work and I'm more or less on my own for four out of seven days each week.
So, since we are on the topic of carriers/wraps - does anyone recommend a particular carrier for use while breastfeeding? I'm not planning on wearing a carrier regularly (right now...), but Emily hasn't been letting me get a lot of sleep lately, and after a recent incident where I passed out cold from sheer exhaustion while pumping, I'm terrified that the same thing will happen during a late night breastfeeding session and that I'll drop her without knowing it like I did with the pump. I've been thinking that it might be safer to feed her while she's secure in something, if that's possible...especially once DH goes back to work and I'm more or less on my own for four out of seven days each week.
Hmmm I'm hesitant with my answer for safety reasons. I find ring slings to be very nursing friendly. The issue is that if you're concerned about falling asleep there would still be a concern about safety, just instead of falling, it's smothering.
not sure if it's your cup of tea but you might consider creating a safe cosleeping environment. Even if you don't officially cosleep you could learn the side lying nursing position and in the event that you do fall asleep everyone would be safe
@amberraysofdawn I absolutely agree with @lionstigersbears that a safe bedshare practice and side lying nursing is safest for nursing when you're tired. Carriers can't be safely used when sleeping.
Just a PSA: I have a baby bjorn which isn't really an option right now. I wanted to try a wrap and not spend a ton of money. I went to the holy land (target) and the Moby is only $22 with a $5 gift card. I was hesitant bc I've heard they're confusing but I came home and watched a YouTube and even I can figure it out!! We had a rough morning and this has really turned the day around. I love having her tight and supported and both my hands are free.
@amberraysofdawn I absolutely agree with @lionstigersbears that a safe bedshare practice and side lying nursing is safest for nursing when you're tired. Carriers can't be safely used when sleeping.
I am adding to learn the fabulous side nurse position! Ezra and I got pretty good at right side laying down nursing. I've fallen asleep in this position a few times, as has Ezra. It helps us both relax at night and get plenty of sleep at night.
@That1didntcount Wait, what? $22? I just bought one today and spent $45 and got the $5 gift card.
So I looked it up online and they're totally $45?? I checked my receipt bc I knew the tag said $22 and am so confused! It's the Moby original wrap in slate gray! @JessicaB0627, sorry if I confused anyone. I think my target made a mistake!
I'll say I have a love/hate relationship with my ergo. It feels really secure when he's on and the infant insert doubles for us as a swaddle when he needs it (we call it the lettuce leaf) but I can't really put it on myself and Ezra/I get really hot in it during the day.
The secret is in the straps. They have to be really loose first then you tighten them. I watched some videos on how to be able to do it by myself. It is definitely hot though with the insert.
Anyone check out the website your zen mama? It's a holistic approach to pregnancy and raising children and it launched on Wednesday! I love it already!
Anyone check out the website your zen mama? It's a holistic approach to pregnancy and raising children and it launched on Wednesday! I love it already!
Thanks for posting this site. Just googled it and am loving a lot of the posts, particularly the ones on baby led weaning.
I guess I would fall on the crunchier side of things-we use cloth, bf, did baby led weaning with my two older kids and plan on doing it again for Grayson, we baby wear and co-sleep. In fact my 5yo DD still spent a lot of time in our bed until mid pregnancy. She started school this year and did most of the night in her bed, but would still crawl into ours in the early morning.
Anyone check out the website your zen mama? It's a holistic approach to pregnancy and raising children and it launched on Wednesday! I love it already!
Thanks for posting this site. Just googled it and am loving a lot of the posts, particularly the ones on baby led weaning.
I loved the one on attachment parenting- I feel like what is crunchy mamas are finding is that you do what you can, but sometimes you're not going to wear your baby and that doesn't make you a bad mom.
I think I'll add to this! We started off the first few days bfing and due to needing to get back on my anxiety meds, switched to ff (meds not safe to take while bfing). We started off with LO in a crib but then he wouldn't fall asleep after a few hours of trying to soothe him/placing him back in the crib asleep several times a night. He would wake up almost immedietly. I've been bringing him into bed with me about halfway through the night. We babywear which I really love a lot. We have a Tula (which we don't reach for often, I might end up selling it), and a wrap conversion ring sling, and a woven wrap that we are borrowing. I highly suggest what PP said about joining a local babywearing group on Facebook, either you can borrow from the lending library or from another mom. I'm currently borrowing a woven wrap from someone and we LOVE it. I wouldn't necessarily call myself crunchy though.
I think I'll add to this! We started off the first few days bfing and due to needing to get back on my anxiety meds, switched to ff (meds not safe to take while bfing). We started off with LO in a crib but then he wouldn't fall asleep after a few hours of trying to soothe him/placing him back in the crib asleep several times a night. He would wake up almost immedietly. I've been bringing him into bed with me about halfway through the night. We babywear which I really love a lot. We have a Tula (which we don't reach for often, I might end up selling it), and a wrap conversion ring sling, and a woven wrap that we are borrowing. I highly suggest what PP said about joining a local babywearing group on Facebook, either you can borrow from the lending library or from another mom. I'm currently borrowing a woven wrap from someone and we LOVE it. I wouldn't necessarily call myself crunchy though.
I think it's really awesome you decided to take care of yourself and go on your medicine! I was on mood stabilizers before Ez came and while I felt great while pregnant, I can see some old patterns come back, so I think it's great you put yourself first crunchy mamas I've got two book recommendations: the kind mama by Alicia Silverstone. The book goes from TTGP to six months pp and includes info from her experience, midwives, natural healers, pediatricians, and her DH. It also has recipes and baby junk recommendations. I read it a lot while pregnant and those first insane weeks pp and it reminded me why I bed share and EBF and attempt to anticipate Ezra's needs instead of letting him cry it out.
beyond the sling by Miyam Balik (spelling might be off). Sure you know her as Blossom from 90's tv but did you know she also has a PhD in neuroscience that focused on the hormones associated with attachment and bonding? I picked this up at the library after one terrible night of trying to get my baby to sleep and I read her scientifically backed advice that your baby doesn't give a shit about your schedule. It's really freeing and affirming to read what a scientist has to say about alternative parenting styles. My biggest takeaway? You don't need to be a perfect parent, you just need to be YOUR KIDS perfect parent.
I read the kind mama early in my pregnancy. I just love A.S. she's so sweet. But I didn't know miyam balik also wrote a book. I'm gonna check out If my library carries it!thank you for the share
Can we talk about nursing for comfort? My LO continues to reject pacifiers and pinkies. I am feeling a bit judged by people in my life for comfort nursing, for allowing my LO to nurse when she is no longer hungry or upset. It isn't my favorite pastime but I'm not yet ready to cut her off from this source of comfort which she very clearly needs. I'm not going to pop her off after a certain time limit and make her cry it out. Ugh I hate feeling judged, it makes me question myself.
@LadySamLady I let DS1 comfort nurse to his heart's content. He gradually stopped doing it as he got more alert and then really only did it when he was truly upset (like after shots or when sick) or if he was having a hard time falling asleep. I got a lot of flack for it from family, but bf doesn't have to be just about food-- it's biologically designed for comfort too. DS2 isn't too into comfort nursing but does it occasionally. Both have been offended when I tried offering a pacifier. Eta one thing that I did have to adjust with DS, and I've done it from the beginning with DS2 is I pop him off if he's fully asleep and still comfort nursing through sleeping. With DS, it was turning into a sleep crutch and he'd wake and cry for it just like a pacifier. When he got used to me pulling it as he fell asleep, he didn't wake up startled looking for a boob. If he fought to find it when I released it, I wouldn't let him get angry and fully awake again so sometimes it took a few tries-- it was tapering him off of it basically.
@LadySamLady I definitely wouldn't let her cry it out. I will pop DD off if I can tell she's no longer actually eating, but she's fine when I do and she will accept a pacifier. I believe that at this age anything they're crying about is a need, not a want. So if she's crying when you take her off then she needs that comfort. Don't feel bad! You're mom and you know what your daughter needs.
@LadySamLady - I'm in the same boat. Jet isn't too keen on pacifiers and I'm her main source of comfort. I say screw those people who are judging you! If it works for you and LO then do it! Once in awhile I feel a bit trapped, but most of the time I really enjoy her snuggles and our time together (it goes by so quickly!)
The only thing I worry about is going back to work part-time in a couple of months, but I suppose I'll cross that bridge when I get there.
Crying it out is (watch out, may get flamed) pretty stupid, especially with tiny babies. I read a great thing that said crying it out teaches your baby "don't come to me with your problems because I refuse to solve them". I would never say that to Ezra, why would I do that with my actions? sometimes he falls asleep while eating and in the occasions somethings made him upset I always nurse him first. The oxytocin release helps him feel comfortable and secure,rather than stressed out. im lucky that Ez also takes a paci so he's not attached to me 24/7, but I still say do what's best for your baby, who cares what those other moms say?
I got my babywearing going! I got a new second hand one. Either she couldn't get the hang of it or wrong size...idk. but got a brand new one for a fraction of the cost, plus it's pretty. It's a k'tan with dandelion print. First couple times I got him in it I took him right out. I was nervous! Thinking it's too tight. Plus he fell right asleep, I thought I must be smothering him! Ha! I watched a few videos on YouTube and checked some advice for safety and today I got this little big guy snug as a bug wrapped up tight to mama! Really hoping this helps because he gets so fussy if I need to put him down. He seems to be happy in here.
And the cry it out business...oh heck no! My husband teases me because he knows how angry it makes me. He'll tell an older kid to suck it up, but even he (super conservative white male type)knows you don't let a baby that young cry it out. Their need for comfort is a NEED this young! Don't let anybody make you feel bad for comforting your newborn
I got my babywearing going! I got a new second hand one. Either she couldn't get the hang of it or wrong size...idk. but got a brand new one for a fraction of the cost, plus it's pretty. It's a k'tan with dandelion print. First couple times I got him in it I took him right out. I was nervous! Thinking it's too tight. Plus he fell right asleep, I thought I must be smothering him! Ha! I watched a few videos on YouTube and checked some advice for safety and today I got this little big guy snug as a bug wrapped up tight to mama! Really hoping this helps because he gets so fussy if I need to put him down. He seems to be happy in here.
Ezra falls asleep in his carriers all the time! I put him in the moby last night cuz he was tired but couldn't fall asleep. That's why I try not to wear him all day but it's such a good tool in your back pocket.
Re: Crunchy Mama Thread
Mama to Three Girls:
Twins born March 2014 at 26 weeks due to preterm labor
and our 37weeker born May 9th, 2016!
I do layer my clothing so it is somewhat less conspicuous and easy for baby access. As in nursing bra, nursing tank top, then a light shirt over those.
My big one where I don't know where to begin is baby wearing . my lo loves to be held and I love holding him. Being able to use my hands throughout the day would be helpful tho...
Any baby wearing masters out there have any advice on where to start.
i needed to learn how to wear it and it is so great! I wear her around the house and out and about in it. I was given an ergo at my shower but I haven't taken it out of the box yet, ill probably use it when she's a big bigger.
Edit: At the bank, not banana. But I'm leaving that autocorrect right where it is.
LO and I currently love our K'Tan as it's really simple to use, which is awesome when he's screaming bc he wants to be held.
We have another carrier we were gifted that I'm waiting to use when he's a little bigger. It's similar to an Ergo. I also want to get a Tula though... Both a wrap and the carrier. I know several people who have used those and they love them.
On paper, wraps seemed to be the way to go but I wound up not liking them. I bought the Boba wrap and then the K'tan active and I hated both of them. Baby didn't feel secure in either and instructions for the Boba felt overwhelming as a new mom. I saw a mom wearing the Boba wrap the other day and I could see the baby was half falling out of it and it just reinforced my decision to have gotten rid of both. However, soooo many moms love them and clearly have the knack for tying them and getting babies snuggled in securely. I say this not to dissuade you from getting a wrap but more to show why it's important to try things on before you buy.
For me, a SSC was the way to go and the Beco Gemini and Lillebaby were my favorites in terms of features and ease of use. I have an Ergo as well but without the newborn insert it won't work on LO until he is older. My Beco Gemini is wearable with newborns without an insert and is super comfy.
I will say that I can imagine wraps are nicer for around the house as they carry higher and don't have buckles. That likely makes it more comfy to wear them while sitting.
not sure if it's your cup of tea but you might consider creating a safe cosleeping environment. Even if you don't officially cosleep you could learn the side lying nursing position and in the event that you do fall asleep everyone would be safe
crunchy mamas I've got two book recommendations:
the kind mama by Alicia Silverstone. The book goes from TTGP to six months pp and includes info from her experience, midwives, natural healers, pediatricians, and her DH. It also has recipes and baby junk recommendations. I read it a lot while pregnant and those first insane weeks pp and it reminded me why I bed share and EBF and attempt to anticipate Ezra's needs instead of letting him cry it out.
beyond the sling by Miyam Balik (spelling might be off). Sure you know her as Blossom from 90's tv but did you know she also has a PhD in neuroscience that focused on the hormones associated with attachment and bonding? I picked this up at the library after one terrible night of trying to get my baby to sleep and I read her scientifically backed advice that your baby doesn't give a shit about your schedule. It's really freeing and affirming to read what a scientist has to say about alternative parenting styles. My biggest takeaway? You don't need to be a perfect parent, you just need to be YOUR KIDS perfect parent.
But I didn't know miyam balik also wrote a book. I'm gonna check out If my library carries it!thank you for the share
limit and make her cry it out. Ugh I hate feeling judged, it makes me question myself.
Eta one thing that I did have to adjust with DS, and I've done it from the beginning with DS2 is I pop him off if he's fully asleep and still comfort nursing through sleeping. With DS, it was turning into a sleep crutch and he'd wake and cry for it just like a pacifier. When he got used to me pulling it as he fell asleep, he didn't wake up startled looking for a boob. If he fought to find it when I released it, I wouldn't let him get angry and fully awake again so sometimes it took a few tries-- it was tapering him off of it basically.
The only thing I worry about is going back to work part-time in a couple of months, but I suppose I'll cross that bridge when I get there.
Great article from kellymom https://kellymom.com/bf/normal/comfortnursing/
sometimes he falls asleep while eating and in the occasions somethings made him upset I always nurse him first. The oxytocin release helps him feel comfortable and secure,rather than stressed out.
im lucky that Ez also takes a paci so he's not attached to me 24/7, but I still say do what's best for your baby, who cares what those other moms say?