May Benched Thread - Page 2 — The Bump
TTC After a Loss

May Benched Thread

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Re: May Benched Thread

  • I know what you're saying @chloe97 and it's definitely important when for medical reasons. I'm medically cleared so it can feel like it's just wasting time. I'm honestly usually fine for most of the month and then I get to 10dpo or so and the BSC starts and I get more depressed and anxious to TTC and it's just hard. AF has made me sad for years since my first mc ten years ago so now only three cycles out from my recent mc it's just intensified. I try to have drinks and deli meat and sushi and relax but I still get nervous around AF and the relaxation wanes. I'm sure it will be even worse when we TTC so it's something I'll need to work on. So I am hereby making a vow to start meditating daily either the whole month, but more specifically when I get to about 8dpo lol I hope that will make a difference. Thanks for listening to me babble, I'm basically thinking out loud......




    chloe97
  • lyndam1lyndam1
    10 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    @SoonToBeMommaHowe Thank you for your kind words!
    @brooklyngirl18 Thank you for sharing your story. It was very helpful and has helped me realize how long this process can be. Thank you. 
    Married 9/27/2014  :)
    BFP #1: 8/23/2015 M/C: 9/24/2015
    BFP# 2: 4/15/2016 M/C: 5/13/2016 Cervical Ectopic Pregnancy
    5/13/2016 Methotrexate Shot #1
    5/15/2016 Methotrexate Shot #2
    5/17/2016 Methotrexate Shot #3
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  • chloe97chloe97
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    member
    @amberruka I may feel differently in June on my first EDD or later this summer, but right now I'm at peace with my summer off. It's summer first of all and we all know there are so many more fun things to do in the summer that you can't do while pregnant- best festivals and water slides come to mind. I was so so anxious to get pregnant again last time, I fought with my Dr about TTA while we were in Mexico after ZIka became a thing. If only I would've taken a breath to relax and not ignore the fact that my cycle was totally messed up, I may actually have gotten pregnant a month or 2 later with a healthy baby and not one with Triploidy due to a bad egg. 

    @rainbowturtles I totally understand how self-benching makes it so much harder!! I will say that giving yourself time to grieve will help with the anxiety your next pregnancy. I was a wreck for the first few weeks!
    Age 39, H 38

    Married 8/15

    Pregnancy #1, MMC, D&C November/December 2015
    Pregnancy #2, Dx with Triploidy at 12 weeks, MMC, D&C May 2016
    Pregnancy #3 BFP 10/20/2016- EDD 7/01/2017
    DD was born on June 26, 2017
    Pregnancy #4 CP 4/2018
    Pregnancy #5 BFP 9/13/2018, EDD= 5/27/2019
    rainbowturtlesamberruka
  • I don't like being benched. I know it is for the best but I get this feeling of lost time or lost opportunities. Especially when I'm ovulating and I notice awesome egg white cervical fluid. 

    I just had to say that. Who's with me?
    Married 06.21.14 / TTC since 11.15 /
    BFP 01.03.2016 / MMC 6w5d D&C 02.2016 // BFP 05.06.16 / natural MC 05.12.16
    Benched 06.2016-08.2016 / TTC again 09.2016! On a diet. Cranky.
    BFP 10.02.2016 / NT scan at 12w looked normal / Anatomy scan at 20w everything ok
    Team blue! / EDD June 11th 2017
    DAVID ROGER was born on May 23rd at 37 weeks.

    Architect, Peruvian living in Chile. I love art, opera and good chocolate.
    Started PhD studies in Architecture on 2017.
    Fur mom of a rescued miniature poodle called Luke Skywalker.


    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    rainbowturtles
  • chloe97chloe97
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    member
    @yolandamunoz I definitely felt that way the first time and could feel that way again. I'm surprised your benched after a chemical pregnancy. I thought that usually there was no medical reason not to try again right away after an early natural loss. Or are you waiting on RPL testing?
    Age 39, H 38

    Married 8/15

    Pregnancy #1, MMC, D&C November/December 2015
    Pregnancy #2, Dx with Triploidy at 12 weeks, MMC, D&C May 2016
    Pregnancy #3 BFP 10/20/2016- EDD 7/01/2017
    DD was born on June 26, 2017
    Pregnancy #4 CP 4/2018
    Pregnancy #5 BFP 9/13/2018, EDD= 5/27/2019
  • @yolandamunoz I'm definitely with you. I worry that we're wasting time/opportunities. I'm trying to be at peace with it but sometimes it's harder than others. I've had two losses so I know I'll be scared and nervous no matter what. Trying to keep busy with things but it's always on my mind <3 hugs to you




  • Thank you @chloe97 and @rainbowturtles ;

    I don't know if i had a chemical pregnancy, what is the definition of that?

    I am only benched because my OBGYN wanted me to wait a week and then have blood tests done, to clear out some possible conditions that would trigger MC.
    So I had my blood drawn yesterday and I am waiting for results that will take from 2 days to 7 days (different tests).

    So I guess I shouldn't really try again until we have some results and talk to my doctor about them. Right?

    I am so scared to try again, though. Sometimes I think about it with hope but sometimes I feel like it is just going to be bad... Once again.

    some days are better than others, right?

    I am thankful though that my mom came to stay with me for a couple of weeks. She lives in Lima (where I am from) but managed to catch a plane real quick when I asked her to come.

    Married 06.21.14 / TTC since 11.15 /
    BFP 01.03.2016 / MMC 6w5d D&C 02.2016 // BFP 05.06.16 / natural MC 05.12.16
    Benched 06.2016-08.2016 / TTC again 09.2016! On a diet. Cranky.
    BFP 10.02.2016 / NT scan at 12w looked normal / Anatomy scan at 20w everything ok
    Team blue! / EDD June 11th 2017
    DAVID ROGER was born on May 23rd at 37 weeks.

    Architect, Peruvian living in Chile. I love art, opera and good chocolate.
    Started PhD studies in Architecture on 2017.
    Fur mom of a rescued miniature poodle called Luke Skywalker.


    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    rainbowturtles
  • I hate the term chemical pregnancy :( It is basically a term for an early miscarriage (before six weeks, I believe) where it would be too soon to see anything on an ultrasound. 

    I totally think it makes sense to wait until results to try @yolandamunoz And I understand your nerves around it. I feel hopeful at times but very nervous a lot of the time <3




    yolandamunoz


  • If you're new, introduce yourself. Hello! I'm new here... I'm Laura and I just turned 35. I have 2 LC age 5 and age 2. Got pregnant in December 2015 and carried to 13 weeks when a Missed MC was identified. Took 2 D&Cs to resolve - my beloved OB missed the fetal tissue the first time so I was sent to a 2nd OB for a 2nd D&C... both were awful but my body held onto the pregnancy for so long after the baby's heart stopped

    How long since your loss? Almost 3 months... I've had 2 periods since then and seem to be mostly back to my normal cycle

    How are you feeling (physically and/or emotionally)? ugh. I had been doing so, so great emotionally until the last week or so. I'm a professor and the summer is coming. I've been so busy with the quarter and the class I'm teaching but as it ends I'm overwhelmed with not being pregnant anymore. i was planning on missing the fall quarter to be home with a new baby but thats not happening anymore 

    Why are you benched/ how long are you benched for? Mostly benched because I'm heading into 5 weeks of travel and I don't want to be away from my doc and husband during my first trimester. I'm already a nutcase when pregnant and I think its going to be much worse the next time. Plus the travel means I'm not going to see my husband much (some for work & some for fun but he can't join us the entire fun section of the travel!)

    Rants/Raves/Questions? Twice now my OB has offered to refer me to a high risk specialist - not sure if she means an MFM or RE and I'm confused why. She basically has said she doesn't like losses late in first tri/early 2nd tri and that if it was my first loss she would do more testing but since I had 2 successful pregnancies that i should use myself as my best control and have confidence that I can carry another baby. My husband thinks we should not go to high risk doc but just try again and see what happens but I can't decide what to do. I have an appt with my OB in a couple weeks just to check in so I'm going to push the issue further and see why she has suggested it.
    **** TW - kids and loss mentioned ****
    ~~ married 8.11.07
    ~~ DD1 1.16.11 ~~ DD2 1.3.14 ~~
    ~~ BFP3 12.22.15 MMC 2.29.16 @ 13 weeks ~~
    ~~ 2 D&Cs (3.1.16 and 3.10.16) for MMC
    ~~ BFP4 10.27.16  MMC 1.23.17 @ 16 weeks ~~ D&E 1.26.17 ~~
  • @ladipale welcome to our little corner. Hopefully your benched time with us is calm and helpful
    Me: 30     DH: 31
    Married: 11.12.11
    TTC: Nov 2015
    BFP #1: 1.22.16                 MMC: 2.29.16 ( tetrasomy 11, partial deletion 1, XXX)
    D&C: 3.2.16
    BFP #2: 4.14.16                 CP: 4.17.16
    BFP #3: 6.10.2016             CP: 6.17.2016
    RE appt: 6.27.2016- saline sono all clear
    Chromosome karyotype- Normal both me and DH
    Progenity: + carrier Tay-Sachs, Gaucher's, hemachromatosis. DH: carrier Alpha 1 anti-trypsin
    Clomid + TI Cycle #1: pending  8.15.16
    Fur mom to 2 sled masters: an Alaskan malamute and a malamute wolf hybrid 
    half marathon running, surgery loving trauma hand and reconstructive plastic surgery PA-C
    PCOS, hypothyroid, MTHFR, hx of LEEP in 2006

  • @SnobunnieMel - thank you :) I have a 3 week vacation in what I consider paradise (central oregon) so it should be mostly OK.
    **** TW - kids and loss mentioned ****
    ~~ married 8.11.07
    ~~ DD1 1.16.11 ~~ DD2 1.3.14 ~~
    ~~ BFP3 12.22.15 MMC 2.29.16 @ 13 weeks ~~
    ~~ 2 D&Cs (3.1.16 and 3.10.16) for MMC
    ~~ BFP4 10.27.16  MMC 1.23.17 @ 16 weeks ~~ D&E 1.26.17 ~~
  •  @yolandamunoz - i feel you. putting condoms on is like a slow sad death to me.
    **** TW - kids and loss mentioned ****
    ~~ married 8.11.07
    ~~ DD1 1.16.11 ~~ DD2 1.3.14 ~~
    ~~ BFP3 12.22.15 MMC 2.29.16 @ 13 weeks ~~
    ~~ 2 D&Cs (3.1.16 and 3.10.16) for MMC
    ~~ BFP4 10.27.16  MMC 1.23.17 @ 16 weeks ~~ D&E 1.26.17 ~~
    yolandamunoz
  • lyndam1lyndam1
    10 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    @ladipale I'm sorry for your loss, but I hope you (like the rest of us) find this community as a great source for helping in the healing process. Welcome! I'm not sure, but it sounds like your doc might want you to see an MFM, because of the late term lost (so sorry) and also because you're 35 (I hate to say it). That seems to be the magic number to be referred to an MFM even without other factors. At least that's my understanding, anyone, please correct me if I'm misinformed. But good luck to you!
    Married 9/27/2014  :)
    BFP #1: 8/23/2015 M/C: 9/24/2015
    BFP# 2: 4/15/2016 M/C: 5/13/2016 Cervical Ectopic Pregnancy
    5/13/2016 Methotrexate Shot #1
    5/15/2016 Methotrexate Shot #2
    5/17/2016 Methotrexate Shot #3
    rainbowturtles
  • Oh @ladipale I am sorry for your loss.

    Ive had EWCM for days now and it hurts s little to notice and don't do anything about it....

    Oregon is so beautiful! My husband is from Ashland and went to grad school in Eugene. I visited both places and absolutely loved them!  
    Married 06.21.14 / TTC since 11.15 /
    BFP 01.03.2016 / MMC 6w5d D&C 02.2016 // BFP 05.06.16 / natural MC 05.12.16
    Benched 06.2016-08.2016 / TTC again 09.2016! On a diet. Cranky.
    BFP 10.02.2016 / NT scan at 12w looked normal / Anatomy scan at 20w everything ok
    Team blue! / EDD June 11th 2017
    DAVID ROGER was born on May 23rd at 37 weeks.

    Architect, Peruvian living in Chile. I love art, opera and good chocolate.
    Started PhD studies in Architecture on 2017.
    Fur mom of a rescued miniature poodle called Luke Skywalker.


    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • AF came today, which is always disappointing even when benched. The good news I guess is that I temped for the first time this cycle since I want to have my cycles sorted before I'm off the bench in Sep and my FP was 16 days and LP was 14 days (3rd cycle post-loss). I'll temp again this cycle probably to see if it's pretty consistent, but it just gives me a bit of hope I guess to see some "normalcy" since I don't know what caused my losses :/ 

    It also looks like DH will be out of town a lot this summer and it's very often last minute. He didnt find out until yesterday afternoon that he had to leave this morning until Saturday and then all next week, too. Last summer he was 10 days away, home 4, quite a bit. Trying to tell myself it might be tricky navigating TTC this summer anyways, because of that. But also know there's an away trip and a canoe trip planned for September and after waiting this long I'll be a little ticked if we miss that first cycle of TTC lol

    I just want to relax, enjoy my summer, not think about babies, but I just can't seem to do it lol I'm so grateful to have this wonderful group of ladies to ramble to ;) <3

    and yes @yolandamunoz I totally get what you mean by seeing your fertility signs and doing nothing about it :(




  • @lyndamf totally - I know 35 is the magic number. I already had an appt with MFM on the schedule for my anatomy scan for the pregnancy I lost. Luckily, the area where I live, 35 is actually youngish. I was my doctor's youngest pregnant patient over the winter months.. at 34/almost 35. 
    **** TW - kids and loss mentioned ****
    ~~ married 8.11.07
    ~~ DD1 1.16.11 ~~ DD2 1.3.14 ~~
    ~~ BFP3 12.22.15 MMC 2.29.16 @ 13 weeks ~~
    ~~ 2 D&Cs (3.1.16 and 3.10.16) for MMC
    ~~ BFP4 10.27.16  MMC 1.23.17 @ 16 weeks ~~ D&E 1.26.17 ~~
  • lyndam1lyndam1
    10 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    @ladipale Wow! Well, it sounds like you'll be in good hands then! Good luck with your future OB appointments, and I hope you have safe travels!
    Married 9/27/2014  :)
    BFP #1: 8/23/2015 M/C: 9/24/2015
    BFP# 2: 4/15/2016 M/C: 5/13/2016 Cervical Ectopic Pregnancy
    5/13/2016 Methotrexate Shot #1
    5/15/2016 Methotrexate Shot #2
    5/17/2016 Methotrexate Shot #3
  • Well, after waiting 2 months for our endocrine appt, it was this morning....aaaaaaand I'm benched for an additional 2 months. Doc thinks I may have postpartum thyroiditis rather than Graves Disease, I have to stop the rest of my meds. If the symptoms come back it's GD, if not it's PPT. I was *so* looking to be off the bench but really, there are plenty of positives: 1. DH was happy to get a better understanding of what's going on, and 2. When I see my family in NY in a few weeks I can drink all I want :smile: An exercise in patience, grr.
    Me: 39 DH: 39
    CP 1/25/16 4.5 weeks, developed Graves' disease
  • @amberruka so sorry for the additional two months of benching but glad you're looking to the positives. Patience is haaaard and I can't wait for us all to be back in the game  :) In the meantime, bottoms up, I guess  :D




    amberruka
  • lyndam1lyndam1
    10 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    @amberruka I'm sorry for the extra two months, but I'm also glad you're looking at the upsides! Answers are always a good thing, and so are drinks with family (most of the time)!!
    Married 9/27/2014  :)
    BFP #1: 8/23/2015 M/C: 9/24/2015
    BFP# 2: 4/15/2016 M/C: 5/13/2016 Cervical Ectopic Pregnancy
    5/13/2016 Methotrexate Shot #1
    5/15/2016 Methotrexate Shot #2
    5/17/2016 Methotrexate Shot #3
    amberrukayolandamunoz
  • @amberruka Sorry to hear about the additional benched time but kudos to your positive energy! I'll drink to that. :smile: 

    *****TW*****

    Me: 32      DH: 32
    Married: 11/19/11
    TTC 3/15
    BFP #1: 10/15, MMC 12/15 (10.5 weeks)
    BFP #2: 7/16, DD born 3/2/17 at 38 weeks <3
    BFP #3: 4/18, DS born 12/11/18 at 36 weeks <3
    amberruka
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