I just have to know if this is out of the norm or not. I'm only 8 weeks pregnant, but we have friends that we see at least 4 days a week, so there are a lot of opportunities for them to pick up little nuances.(i.e: I switched to decaf, started eating red meat for more iron, turned down sushi, and wore a mask on a volunteer assignment when we were painting a building) So I get that people were probably wondering if I was pregnant. But I was completely surprised when a girlfriend flat out called me out on it. Is it just me? Is this not considered rude anymore? I'm not a liar, so of course I was forced to admit it, but with this being my first child, I really wish I would have been able to tell my mother before anyone else.
Re: People asking if you're pregnant?
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
If you are being asked because you completely changed your habits but don't want people to know, then hide those changes better. The "medical issue" excuse works for tons of things and no one has pressed me further on it.
But I have found lots of people ask even though it's rude. When are you telling your mom?
TTC since 6/13
Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change
BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016
SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
"Does it come in black?"
But I was pretty pissed off when a coworker called me out about it in front of my immediate supervisor. "Well, yeah, I'm pregnant ... good thing she already knows!"
I went to a baby shower last weekend (11w4d) and some friend of a friend asked me if I was pregnant. I was wearing a maxi skirt and my blump was obvious in the wind. So I said yes. I plan on telling my boss tomorrow and I think I won't try to hide it any longer (12w today!)
BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks;
BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016
Me: 33 H: 36
Married: 12/14/13 DS: 1/29/09
BFP2: 10/9/15 MMC: 11/12/15
BFP3: 4/6/16 DD: 12/12/16
If I thought I could pull it off, I would just do an announcement like, "Surprise, we had a baby yesterday!" But I know it's silly to think I could hide that. I'm not sure when we'll officially announce but I definitely want to do it before we get any questions.
Married to DH 10.29.11
DD born 1.26.13
DS born 6.12.14
#3 due 12.6.16
Even though they aren't asking me, I almost feel PRESSURED to tell them, you know?
Married DH: 4/7/2012
TTC: 2/3/2016 (Me: 31yrs DH: 35yrs)
BFP: 4/10/2016
EDD: 12/18/16
Kaynen Alexander born 12/6/16 via c-section (bicornate uterus/breech)
@sourlemon , we're telling our parents at 12 weeks, which will be Father's Day.
found starting that conversation kind of awkward, so it worked for me to just confirm as time went by. No one asked me in the first trimester though, and I would never ask someone else, regardless of how pregnant they appeared/were acting, with the possible exception of my twin sister.
DH: 36⎹ Me: 36
I'm not sure it is rude, but it is certainly not tactful. I feel like it depends on so many factors, however. Friends are especially tricky. Has it before been openly jokes about / discussed with friends but now that you're pregnant it just felt different? Was her tone joyful for you or was it simply wanting "in" on a secret? Were you perhaps being obvious about the changes in habit that may naturally invite that question?
I personally would never ask anyone if they are pregnant because it can be such an emotionally loaded question, and I don't think it's my business until someone tells me that it is, but I do not think everyone who does so is intending to be rude.
alas, such is the life of a pregnant woman and it's only just beginning. 9 months (and beyond) of deflecting personal, private questions.
TTC since November 2015
BFP #1 12/17/15 - MC 1/28/16
BFP #2 4/22/16 - EDD 12/30/16
She's a goo friend and not a rude person in general. I'm not trying to say that. I do just think she was wanting to be "in the know", and maybe didn't consider that my privacy should be ore important than her curiosity. I was just wanting to know if most people consider it too rude to ask, or if this is something that is common and I should prepare to field these questions more.
This time, I've told people who were probably going to know due to my symptoms as I've gone along, and this has worked pretty well for me. Work has known since I got a positive test because symptoms are killing me in clinic right now. I told a friend we were visiting because I didn't know when I was going to be nauseous or not up to hanging out.
That said, if I felt pushed into telling someone, I would feel very uncomfortable. I don't think people realize how rude it is until they've been pregnant and felt similarly pressured. I'm sorry you're going through that.
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
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I am not thin, but am average... so once my belly starts protruding out more than this bloat has... I am sure people will ask. I had gained about 10lbs. in the last year, so that hasn't helped either... or maybe it has and people will just think I've gained some weight. But, I am hoping I can at least get through our first appointment next week before anyone really asks!
I hope to make it public before people ask. At least I can say I have a reason for the weight gain!
TTC Since: November 2015
BFP: March 31, 2016
DS: November 21, 2016
I am on a yard sale page for my county on Facebook and I saw someone selling a fetal doppler really cheap. So I just commented on their post saying I would PM them about it. Not even 2 seconds later, my cousin texts me and says, "I just saw you ask about a fetal doppler, are you pregnant?"
Now normally, I would tell her the truth. But last time when FI and I found out we were pregnant I told her because she is just a little bit younger than me and has a son already so I wanted her pregnancy advice. She told her mom, her mom told our grandma, and grandma told my dad. I was pissed because I wanted to tell him myself and he was angry that he found out from someone other than me.
So I just told her that a friend had asked me to get it for her because she wasn't ready to go public about it. I feel bad not telling her the whole truth, but my dad is SO close to being down here for me to tell him in person and I do not need anyone spoiling the surprise for him, especially not the same people that ruined it last time.
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
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I'm a little peeved that she asked because to me that's such a private thing and she was a teen mom so she of all people should realize that some information is not meant to be asked about, but to be shared whenever we're ready. She did buy the little fib. It's not like we're keeping it from her much longer, we'll tell my dad this weekend and I'm sure we'll tell them after we tell him.
I didn't know what to say so I laughed and asked if I looked larger than normal. Of course all my kids were being soooo kind telling me I looked great (despite my slight weight gain/recent bloat).
I feel bad not telling them as I want to wait just a couple more weeks, but technically I didn't say no..
When I was pregnant with DD, another teacher stopped me in the hall as I was double fisting a caffeine free Coke and my ziploc bag of pretzels. Her daughter was in my class and had mentioned that I hadn't felt well. I went to my desk later and found a sticky note from her that said, "this too shall pass," and she offered some quick advice. I thought that was a sweet way to tell me that she had figured it out.
Nobody's asked me directly this time, but someone at church asked DH randomly when we were going to have another kid. He kind of stuttered (I was only about 4 weeks at this point) and she was like, "WAIT is she pregnant now?!" And he didn't want to lie to her.
He is one of the pastors on staff at our church. We always sit in the front and I am sure that people will notice me stealing DD's snacks and being less involved.
DD born 7.27.2014
BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
G born 10/25/12 | H born 3/25/14
TTC#3 since 7/2015
Early loss 12/2015 most likely due to low progesterone
Began medicated cycles (Femara/Ovidrel/Endometrin) with TI 1/2016
BFP 3/22, EDD 12/4/16 ~ It's a GIRL!
DH does this a lot!!! not asks women directly...but we'll walk by then he'll whisper "is she pregnant or just chubby?" and each time I smack him telling him to not be rude lol
BFP#1 & MC:August 2015 BFP: #2 10/01/2015 MC: 10/09/2015 BFP #3: 12/22/2015 @ 5 weeks MC/CP: 12-23-2015
Fertility Appointment: Feb 23/16, Hysteroscopy 03/02/2016,
BFP #4: 03/31/16 EDD 12/01/2016