My husbands family isn't terrible. His 2 sisters I get along with without a problem. His mother is a bit of a mess but always comes from a good place, whether or not it actually ends up being helpful. His father is distant, but has always been that way.
My family is a huge help for us. My parents and sisters are always offering to baby sit or take the kids so we can get stuff done around the house.
The only person in my family I'm at odds with is my sister in law (my brothers wife). She is one of those "holier than thou" pains in the ass who thinks her way is not only the right way, but the ONLY way. She has no problem making this known, either. She is the queen of the fake smile and the forced "you look great!" Compliment that isn't really a compliment because it's then usually followed with "you're not even in sweatpants today." Thanks. I'm one of 4 kids. We all grew up close but when my brother started dating his now wife, he definitely pulled away from us, and even though they now live a town away and have 2 kids, we never see him. My girls have 2 cousins they'll never be close with which makes me sad but not much I can do about it. My sister in law recently went on a rant about how people who use their parents as "child care" are dumping their burdens on them.. that you should never have to ask anyone to watch your children unless it's for the occasional Dr appt or night out, and if you are using people every day just to "get by" that you've over extended yourself and are irresponsible and should have had less children.
If I didn't think it would literally kill my mother, I'd tell her where to go and how to get there (must be nice to have a husband who works so much that you don't have to and can just sit at home becoming an expert on how everyone should live their lives).. but my mother is the ultimate bleeding heart and believes or at least wishes that some day we will all be BFFs. She is so afraid to say anything to my brother for fear of upsetting him or his wife and "never hearing from them again." So in the mean time, she stresses my sisters and I out always trying to over include them in ways that drive us all crazy.
I'm sure some day my sister in law will get what's coming to her. I just hope I'm there to see it.
Reviving an old thread... anyone have more stories?
I realized after reading through all of these stories that my MIL really is mostly normal. But she still drives me crazy nevertheless.
Things that have gotten on my nerve lately: - She was relieved to find out I am taking off the full 3 months maternity. She is glad because now I can breastfeed the baby. As if I wasn't already planning on it, and while harder, I can still do that even if I chose to go back to work earlier. - She wants me to drive 45 minutes one way to a daycare that we are familiar with...because she "doesn't want anyone to hurt my grandbaby". Yes, my intentions are to find the worst daycare possible because I don't care who hurts my baby. Ugh. -We have decided on the name quite a while ago. My husband refuses to tell her that we know the name but just won't tell her. So he has been telling her that we haven't decided yet. All hell is going to break loose once we tell her that we aren't telling anyone. Looking forward to that day.
Glad to see this revived! DH and I live across the country from our families and we appreciate the chance to love them from a distance. My MIL for the most part is fine, but she is super emotional (gets upset if DH doesn't call her when she thinks it's been too long, but won't call him because she "doesn't want to interrupt something"). She also says the first thing that comes to her mind which usually comes across as awkward and sometimes creepy.
Case in point, I may be the only chance she has to do the grandma thing, so I'm trying to keep her in the loop. (SIL is single, briefly lesbian, back to single seeking men, struggles with relationships, both friends and lovers, so I'm not sure children are in her future.)
I use the Ovia app because I like that I can see size comparison by parisian bakery items instead of fruit. I sent her a screen shot last Wednesday when I hit 13w, a large macaron. Her response was kind of odd, but in the realm-ish of normal. So I go a step further and tell her that DH pointed out that I'm getting a bump. Her response is "A bump of significance..." I don't know how to respond to that, so I don't.
Three and a half hours later I get another text from her. "Am still smiling...hours later...that there is a delicious little macaron sized wonder out there creating a bump of significance ... Wonder-full"
I didn't respond to that one either, but she did mention my "bump of significance" when she talked to DH on the phone yesterday.
Glad to see this revived! DH and I live across the country from our families and we appreciate the chance to love them from a distance. My MIL for the most part is fine, but she is super emotional (gets upset if DH doesn't call her when she thinks it's been too long, but won't call him because she "doesn't want to interrupt something"). She also says the first thing that comes to her mind which usually comes across as awkward and sometimes creepy.
Case in point, I may be the only chance she has to do the grandma thing, so I'm trying to keep her in the loop. (SIL is single, briefly lesbian, back to single seeking men, struggles with relationships, both friends and lovers, so I'm not sure children are in her future.)
I use the Ovia app because I like that I can see size comparison by parisian bakery items instead of fruit. I sent her a screen shot last Wednesday when I hit 13w, a large macaron. Her response was kind of odd, but in the realm-ish of normal. So I go a step further and tell her that DH pointed out that I'm getting a bump. Her response is "A bump of significance..." I don't know how to respond to that, so I don't.
Three and a half hours later I get another text from her. "Am still smiling...hours later...that there is a delicious little macaron sized wonder out there creating a bump of significance ... Wonder-full"
I didn't respond to that one either, but she did mention my "bump of significance" when she talked to DH on the phone yesterday.
Is this as awkward/creepy as it feels to me?
My mom says weird crap like that too. I just send smiley faces when I don't know what to say.
I previously wrote what a joy (or not) my MIL is. To blow your minds, and I STILL can't believe this happened, my FIL showed up at our house on Friday to take us to dinner (most likely because MIL is out of the country. PARTY!) Not only did he take us to a nice dinner, but he brought us a BRAND NEW mattress set. I'm still in amazement. It's exactly what i've been freaking out about for the last month because we need a new one but can't afford it. How is he married to her?? I guess his kindness makes up for her insanity....
My MIL is generally fine. She sometimes says things that make me cringe but I know that she's coming from A) a good place and a complete lack of understanding. After my last Mc she said "imagine what it would be like with all those babies running around if you hadn't lost them..." Um yep, there are days when I think of nothing else. Shes never had a mc or even a difficult pregnancy or known of anyone who has. She's also not terribly aware of the world outside of her home. (But that's a story for a different day)
she does not know that I'm pregnant now. We plan on telling everyone Sunday. My parents are packing up their house to move. My mom called while we were at MIls and said that their were 6 boxes of dolls there for me. I was telling Dh and she kept saying "well you won't need those, tell her you don't need those." I think it freaks her out that we let DS play with dolls etc. but I also think that she's going to panic when she finds out about this baby. That's why we are doing it when everyone is there so her reaction gets lost.
Re: Stories of in-laws driving us mad/crazy/angry...
My family is a huge help for us. My parents and sisters are always offering to baby sit or take the kids so we can get stuff done around the house.
The only person in my family I'm at odds with is my sister in law (my brothers wife). She is one of those "holier than thou" pains in the ass who thinks her way is not only the right way, but the ONLY way. She has no problem making this known, either. She is the queen of the fake smile and the forced "you look great!" Compliment that isn't really a compliment because it's then usually followed with "you're not even in sweatpants today." Thanks. I'm one of 4 kids. We all grew up close but when my brother started dating his now wife, he definitely pulled away from us, and even though they now live a town away and have 2 kids, we never see him. My girls have 2 cousins they'll never be close with which makes me sad but not much I can do about it. My sister in law recently went on a rant about how people who use their parents as "child care" are dumping their burdens on them.. that you should never have to ask anyone to watch your children unless it's for the occasional Dr appt or night out, and if you are using people every day just to "get by" that you've over extended yourself and are irresponsible and should have had less children.
If I didn't think it would literally kill my mother, I'd tell her where to go and how to get there (must be nice to have a husband who works so much that you don't have to and can just sit at home becoming an expert on how everyone should live their lives).. but my mother is the ultimate bleeding heart and believes or at least wishes that some day we will all be BFFs. She is so afraid to say anything to my brother for fear of upsetting him or his wife and "never hearing from them again." So in the mean time, she stresses my sisters and I out always trying to over include them in ways that drive us all crazy.
I'm sure some day my sister in law will get what's coming to her. I just hope I'm there to see it.
I realized after reading through all of these stories that my MIL really is mostly normal. But she still drives me crazy nevertheless.
Things that have gotten on my nerve lately:
- She was relieved to find out I am taking off the full 3 months maternity. She is glad because now I can breastfeed the baby. As if I wasn't already planning on it, and while harder, I can still do that even if I chose to go back to work earlier.
- She wants me to drive 45 minutes one way to a daycare that we are familiar with...because she "doesn't want anyone to hurt my grandbaby". Yes, my intentions are to find the worst daycare possible because I don't care who hurts my baby. Ugh.
-We have decided on the name quite a while ago. My husband refuses to tell her that we know the name but just won't tell her. So he has been telling her that we haven't decided yet. All hell is going to break loose once we tell her that we aren't telling anyone. Looking forward to that day.
/rant over
Case in point, I may be the only chance she has to do the grandma thing, so I'm trying to keep her in the loop. (SIL is single, briefly lesbian, back to single seeking men, struggles with relationships, both friends and lovers, so I'm not sure children are in her future.)
I use the Ovia app because I like that I can see size comparison by parisian bakery items instead of fruit. I sent her a screen shot last Wednesday when I hit 13w, a large macaron. Her response was kind of odd, but in the realm-ish of normal. So I go a step further and tell her that DH pointed out that I'm getting a bump. Her response is "A bump of significance..." I don't know how to respond to that, so I don't.
Three and a half hours later I get another text from her. "Am still smiling...hours later...that there is a delicious little macaron sized wonder out there creating a bump of significance ... Wonder-full"
I didn't respond to that one either, but she did mention my "bump of significance" when she talked to DH on the phone yesterday.
Is this as awkward/creepy as it feels to me?
After my last Mc she said "imagine what it would be like with all those babies running around if you hadn't lost them..." Um yep, there are days when I think of nothing else.
Shes never had a mc or even a difficult pregnancy or known of anyone who has. She's also not terribly aware of the world outside of her home. (But that's a story for a different day)
she does not know that I'm pregnant now. We plan on telling everyone Sunday. My parents are packing up their house to move. My mom called while we were at MIls and said that their were 6 boxes of dolls there for me. I was telling Dh and she kept saying "well you won't need those, tell her you don't need those." I think it freaks her out that we let DS play with dolls etc. but I also think that she's going to panic when she finds out about this baby. That's why we are doing it when everyone is there so her reaction gets lost.