Weekly PGAL check in - 5.23.16

ceclarlinetlo · May 2016

This is a weekly thread for those of us who are pregnant after experiencing loss of any stage (chemical, miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal) to support one another.

Please introduce your self if this is your first time participating

Good of luck to those of us with appointments this week:

5/23: @lillynch2015
5/24: @jecika85 ; @youngsondag ; @carly79
5/25: @curlysue22 ; @gapeachrn

1. Tell us about yourself (if your first time participating)

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

4. When is your first or next appointment?

5. Rants/raves/whatever

6. GTKY: what's the weirdest dream you can remember having?

edit to fix typo

ceclarlinetlo · May 2016

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

Other than larger than normal BBs and waking up in the middle of the night things are still pretty mild. I just don't feel how I imagined pregnancy would really feel. I really just feel off - kinda tired, hungry a lot, kinda moody.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

This is a big week. Yesterday marks the day when baby quit growing last time. I think I am handling it fine and DH is being very supportive when I need to talk - but it's always in the back of my head

4. When is your first or next appointment?

June 1 - 9 more sleeps!

5. Rants/raves/whatever

Rave: we got a nutri ninja to make smoothies and I am super excited!

6. GTKY: what's the weirdest dream you can remember having?

I have weird and vivid dreams all the time but one of the weirdest I think was the time I dreamed I was in a hotel room waiting for DH to come back. He was late but I didn't want to pick a fight about it so I decided to be productive while waiting. We had previously lost a large number of meatballs in the room so I decided to look for them. Not my sight or smell, but by feeling their vibrations lol. I crouched down and waddled around the room with my arms stretched out feeling for the meatballs.

Turns out when I woke up the vibrations were actually my phone alarm lol.

ThePax89 · May 2016

@ceclarlinetlo my baby stopped growing by now too. So I'm relieved, but would like my ultrasound....like...now. good luck at your appointment

LoneStar21416 · May 2016

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

Pretty mild symptoms here as well. Sore boobs. I wake up starving and have a gagging issue when trying to brush my back teeth. I haven't had consistent nausea in a while. The frequent urinarion has ramped up, and I'm mildly concerned it's a UTI. I went in for a urine culture so we'll see what that reveals. Hopefully it's actually just a true pregnancy symptom.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

Not great, but not terrible. This is also a big week for me. The end of this week will mark when baby 1 stopped growing. I actually don't feel that hung up on that, but just more the general uneasiness of what my next scan will reveal.

Sounds like your handling it as well as can be expected, @ceclarlinetlo

4. When is your first or next appointment?

I go for another ultrasound in 2 weeks when I hit 10 weeks.

5. Rants/raves/whatever

Rave: I had a lot to do early this morning and miraculously everything fell into place. On a Monday no less. I'll take it!

6. GTKY: what's the weirdest dream you can remember having?

Hmm. This will take some thought. I had a dream with Bryan Cranston in it over the weekend, but I can barely remember the details. That's all I've got right now!

Carly79 · May 2016

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) - Still feeling crummy. Trying to find something that works to take the edge off and not having much luck. Extremely tired and the mood swings are in full swing.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) - Had a rough weekend with this. I had a brief break from the nausea this weekend which was great but with that came the wondering about what's going on and thinking the worst. I was excited when it came back (for a little bit). I'm also hesitant to try anything like unisom or other meds to help with the nausea. I'm afraid to put anything in my body that may cause problems, as much as I know that most of the time, it's out of my control. We have our health history today and hoping for an ultra sound tomorrow. That should help a little.

4. When is your first or next appointment? Today is our health history and based on previous pregnancies I'll be scheduled for a U/S tomorrow. Hoping for confirmation that things are good.

5. Rants/raves/whatever - Not much in this category. My hubby has been so supportive the last couple of days that it makes it easier.

6. GTKY: what's the weirdest dream you can remember having? - I really don't remember my dreams. Since being pregnant, I am remembering a few more than normal but a few hours after waking they are usually out of my mind. I do have strange dreams when pregnant though.

nan814 · May 2016

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms): Totally normal.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise): A little anxiety here and there, but overall feeling pretty calm.

4. When is your first or next appointment? Tomorrow morning! Hoping for a dating ultrasound and a heartbeat.

5. Rants/raves/whatever : This pregnancy feels so unreal. Zero symptoms. Maybe after tomorrow I'll believe it.

6. GTKY: what's the weirdest dream you can remember having? I rarely remember my dreams.

RocksInTheWater · May 2016

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms): Mostly nothing except a lower appetite.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise): Pretty anxious right now waiting to hear back about my 2nd beta draw from last Thursday. I called the clinic again this morning and left a message since they didn't call me back last Friday. I'm so annoyed that I haven't heard anything yet.

4. When is your first or next appointment? Who knows? I'm totally in limbo right now.

5. Rants/raves/whatever : I'm just so frustrated with my clinic right now. After having 3 losses in the past year, I would think they would be taking care of me a little better, as in giving me the common courtesy of informing me of my lab results from last Thursday. I feel a total lack of personal attention from them.

6. GTKY: what's the weirdest dream you can remember having? I seem to only remember the bad dreams! The last one I remember was being at a baseball game and seeing a tornado heading directly for the stadium. Yikes.

Gee, I guess my post is really negative today! Hoping to post a good update later.

ceclarlinetlo · May 2016

Well I started bleeding. I don't have any pain and it's a light flow that might be stopping but it's red and I don't like it. Waiting to hear back from the nurse I left a message for.

LoneStar21416 · May 2016

Ugh. Thinking of you @ceclarlinetlo

Keep us posted.

@rocksinthewater I'm sorry, that is really frustrating. I totally agree with you.

RocksInTheWater · May 2016

I'm sorry @ceclarlinetlo! I hope it is nothing serious.

ceclarlinetlo · May 2016

Thanks ladies - They are squeezing me in for an ultrasound at 4.

LJ623 · May 2016

@ceclarlinetlo - Thinking of you! Hoping for nothing serious!!

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)
YUCK! Just overall I feel like crap...but I'm hoping this is a good sign (this is so much worse than my last time!)....

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)
Nervous still...seeing my little nugget on the u/s last week helped...but the fear of another MMC is always present...and I doubt that will go away until after the anatomy scan (and only then because hopefully I'll be able to feel my little one move!).

4. When is your first or next appointment? I have 2 appointments next week - on 5/31, I have the follow-up u/s and appointment with my RE, and on 6/3, I have my first appointment with my OB's office for an u/s & intake/medical history appointment. I'm a little surprised they're going to do another u/s (they know about my one on the 31st), but also will take any chance to ensure that my baby is growing on schedule....

5. Rants/raves/whatever
Is it bad that I'm too tired to rant about anything? LOL....I just need to make it through Saturday night and my life will quiet down a bit when my second job goes on break for the summer...hopefully I can make it!!

6. GTKY: what's the weirdest dream you can remember having? Honestly, I don't typically remember dreams...but when I was a kid I had this one about a candy tarantula that was trying to eat me....(I have a HUGE fear of spiders)...

cjs260 · May 2016

@ceclarlinetloThoughts with you today. Let us know how it goes.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) Super nauseated. Beyond exhausted. Boobs feel like they're about to explode.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) **TW** Cue the panic this morning. Got to work and went to the bathroom to find way too much blood for me to be comfortable with in my underwear. Since my Dr.'s office is right across the street from my lab, I run over there and asked to be seen. They got me in for an ultrasound, everything looked perfect, measuring 7w1d with a heart rate of 133 bpm. Since I've had spotting after sex and after my pap smear (where the Dr. said she saw the exact moment of bleeding from the exterior of my cervix), they said it was most likely caused by bleeding from the vaginal tract itself, since it's just so sensitive right now. Nothing on the u/s to indicate a problem. I'm on pelvic rest until my next appointment.

4. When is your first or next appointment? June 14. Will now be both a check up and an ultrasound.

5. Rants/raves/whatever I'm just emotionally exhausted. I can't wait to get my work done, and go home, and go to bed.

6. GTKY: what's the weirdest dream you can remember having? Because of my OCD, I have a lot of panic-inducing anxiety dreams. The most recent one that was more weird than scary, was a zombie apocalypse. Except the zombies were just rolling heads. We were trying to stop them by setting rows of fire, but they would just catch on fire and keep rolling, catching everything else in their wake on fire. It was a disaster.

nan814 · May 2016

@RocksInTheWater hopefully the fact that they're not in any hurry to call you back means it's all good.

@ceclarinetlo thinking of you!

RocksInTheWater · May 2016

nan814 said:

@RocksInTheWater hopefully the fact that they're not in any hurry to call you back means it's all good.

@ceclarinetlo thinking of you!

@nan814 And here I sit thinking the opposite! I'm thinking the news isn't good, so they are waiting for the doctor to call me back instead of one of the nurses.

@cjs260 I'm glad you could get in right away for your peace of mind! Happy to hear that the baby is doing well.

poetryandoceans · May 2016

@ceclarlinetlo Thinking of you. Be kind to yourself until you are seen today; don't put too much pressure on yourself to get stuff done.

cjs260 · May 2016

Thanks @RocksInTheWater I sure hope you get some good news, too! I really think that if it was not good, they would have already called you. My OB won't call at all unless it's bad news, so I always try to think no news is good news. But I know it has to be hard. Thinking of you!

poetryandoceans · May 2016

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)
I feel like a bit of a jerk saying this, but I've been getting off fairly easy so far this week, I think. I mean, I'm exhausted, and I definitely get to a point where my brain is just done for the day, but my nausea has been manageable, I'm actually sleeping a little better (no more 3 am wake-ups), and what cramps I've been having have been fairly mild. Of course, as soon as I hit post reply, I'm sure I'm going to be hit with a round of vomiting or some such, but, that's where I'm at as of this moment.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)
I'm officially in uncharted territory; I've never been this pregnant. I was expecting the anxiety to ramp down a little once I made it to this point, but it absolutely hasn't. I've been getting repeat betas for the last two weeks, and the consistent 2-day doubling rate was really reassuring. But now I'm at the point where doubling rates naturally and normally slow down; I've stopped getting the betas, so the results don't freak me out, but not having that consistent reassurance is nerve-wracking. The masochistic part of me is wishing my pregnancy symptoms would get more severe, so I could get reassurance that way.

4. When is your first or next appointment?
My first appointment with my mw is next Tuesday, May 31. My first ultrasound was supposed to be June 6, but my PCP made some calls and got me in somewhere June 2. God I love that woman.

5. Rants/raves/whatever
I had to tell my parents this weekend. My mother is coming to stay for a few days, and she would have figured it out. My husband and I had plans to visit my hometown this weekend anyway, so we adjusted our plans and took them out for lunch and told them. I was a little worried, my mom can sometimes blurt out things without thinking, and I didn't want her to say anything stupid, but she didn't, and it was so sweet seeing them excited. This whole pregnancy thing hasn't really sunk in for me, yet, and telling my parents, seeing them get excited about it, made me feel a bit more excited and happy. And then I just felt tired again...

6. GTKY: what's the weirdest dream you can remember having?
Oh lord, I don't know, I have some vivid ones. Nothing specific is jumping out at me, so I will just say that 2 nights ago, I dreamed that I had oreo flavoured pringles, and they were perfect. I don't know why, and I imagine that would actually taste disgusting, but in the dream, they were perfection. Closest thing I've had to pregnancy cravings so far...

moosette113 · May 2016

@ceclarlinetlo fingers crossed that everything goes well at your appt!

1. Tell us about yourself (if your first time participating)
Hi all, first time participating in this thread. I was originally in O'16, had a MMC and D&C in March, and am fortunate to find myself in this group now. I live in Germany with my DH and cat, but will be doing lots of traveling back to the US over the next few months

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)
I swear my boobs grew throughout the day. It was glorious stripping my bra off after work, but I immediately wanted to put on my bigger, comfier bra.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)
see #4

4. When is your first or next appointment?
I have decided to switch doctors so I can have someone that speaks some English this time around. I called up a highly recommended dr today to make my first appt and they wanted me to come in Thursday at what would be 5+1 from LMP, but more likely 4+4 based on temping. I tried to tell them it was way too early (because in my experience, OBs here will more readily ultrasound than take blood), so they made it next Monday... which is 5+5 or 5+1... either way, too early to see anything, and more than likely just going to cause unnecessary panic. Especially since after that, it will be like 2 weeks before I can get back in.

5. Rants/raves/whatever
I'm going to Italy in a little over a week for work, and then almost immediately going on a cruise around the Baltic. I'm hoping I'm not going to play a game of "how many countries can you throw up in"

6. GTKY: what's the weirdest dream you can remember having?
I used to have these recurring dreams about running away from zombies. But it wasn't really running, more like slowly meandering, and occasionally getting in a car to get further away, but then basically wasting time until they caught up again.

ceclarlinetlo · May 2016

Thank you for all your support ladies! It really means a lot to me! Thankfully baby is looking good! Measuring at 6w1d with a heart rate of 129!

Edit it to add: They aren't sure why I was bleeding earlier today but there was no active bleed while they did the ultrasound. They did see that I have a luteal cyst on my right ovary that's huge (softball/grapefruit sized) but they are just going to keep at eye on it.

cjs260 · May 2016

Great news @ceclarlinetlo !!!! So happy for you!

jen198705 · May 2016

Hi ladies. First time here.
I had a miscarriage in October and that was our first pregnancy.

My symptoms are : sore boobs, bloat bloat bloat, mood swings, nausea, fatigue.

Anxiety wise, I'm trying so hard to be happy and experience the pregnancy. I will feel better when we can start seeing the doctor regularly.

Our first apt is tomorrow.

We go on a cruise in 4 weeks so I'm thinking, if we just make it to the cruise then we will have enough already been farther in this pregnancy than our last.

I can't really remember a year dreams.

♡♡

ceclarlinetlo · May 2016

@jen198705 - fx for your appointment tomorrow!

RocksInTheWater · May 2016

@ceclarlinetlo Awesome news!! Yay!

LoneStar21416 · May 2016

Great news I've been pulling for you!!
@ceclarlinetlo

Glad to hear all looks great with you too @cjs260

thinking of everyone still waiting!

RocksInTheWater · May 2016

I called my clinic AGAIN at lunch time. The nurse called me back at 2:00 and said they didn't get get the results from the lab yet?! From last Thursday. She told me she would call the lab and call me back. She never called me back!! I swear I'm about ready to switch clinics.

ceclarlinetlo · May 2016

@RocksInTheWater ugggghhhh that is so annoying!!

If by any chance your lab work was through lab Corp you can actually log in and see it yourself.

cjs260 · May 2016

Ugh, so sorry @RocksInTheWater. I sure hope you hear something soon!

Thanks @LoneStar21416!

loveinak · May 2016

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? I still have sore boobs, bloat, irritability, and cramping. I'm so tired, and am breathless after climbing stairs or walking too quickly.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? For the most part, I'm okay but any cramp makes me panic and I feel like I am on google all day.

4. When is your first or next appointment? June 4th @ 7w6d

5. Rants/raves/whatever: Our friends have invited us for a camping trip this weekend, but I really just want to stay home and sit on my couch. Part of me is too scared to be too far away from home in case something happens.

6. GTKY: what's the weirdest dream you can remember having? I have really weird, vivid dreams every night but they don't even make sense when I try to explain them.

RocksInTheWater · May 2016

Update: My doctor called this morning and my hcg numbers more than doubled last week! I have my first u/s scheduled for June 2nd. Baby steps! I've had 2 m/cs where I saw the heartbeat at 7 weeks so I will not feel like I've gotten over any milestones until at least 10 weeks but every little step counts.

ceclarlinetlo · May 2016

@rocksinthewater great news!! Every day when you are PGAL feels like a small victory for sure. Enjoy this good news today and let tomorrow take care of itself

jsl82 · May 2016

ceclarlinetlo I'm so glad your ultrasound was good. I had some bleeding early with my 2nd pregnancy and it ended up being placenta previa- still scary no matter the cause. Hopefully the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)
I'm still tired all the time and a bit achy all over too. I still have some fun nausea happening all of the time, but no vomiting yet. My doctor offered me prescription to ease my morning sickness, but I declined since it's some what reassuring to feel nauseous everyday (I just wish there was a better symptom I could use as proof to myself that everything is normal).

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)
Anxiety is still high. We saw a heartbeat yesterday and my husband looked thrilled but I didn't really feel anything. We lost the first at 8 weeks and the 2nd at 10 weeks so I don't think I'm going to feel relaxed until I'm at least 12 weeks- but in reality I doubt I'll ever feel confident with this or any future pregnancy. My doctor is great though and told me that should we order extra ultrasounds if I am feeling extra anxiety- we would just say there was bleeding even if there isn't any. I can also come into the office any time (without an appointment) after 11 weeks to hear the heartbeat.

4. When is your first or next appointment?
I am getting a second ultrasound at 10 weeks (3 weeks from now) which I still need to schedule. I have a follow up OB appointment the following week 6/21, where hopefully we will be able to hear a heartbeat. I then need to schedule the NT scan for the following week. My second pregnancy's due date was 6/29 so I'm not loving the idea of having the NT scan that week ( I found out about both my miscarriages during this exam so just thinking about it triggers alot of anxiety).

5. Rants/raves/whatever
I think my biggest rants right now are against my husband and one of my cats for hogging my bed/pillow. Sunday night my husband and I woke each other up by pushing each others feet- both claiming that our foot was on our side of the bed. Last night my cat stole my pillow. She has always slept on my head (apparently she did this before we got her too) and I typically sleep on 2 pillows with my pillow slightly overlapping "her pillow" so she can sleep near me without actually being on my head. Not last night... last night she was in the middle of my pillow- and she doesn't share. I'm seriously debating getting a bed for our office and not letting either of them in there.

6. GTKY: what's the weirdest dream you can remember having?
I've been having a lot of weird dreams lately, but can never really remember them. Last night I dreamed I was talking with an ex (probably cheating on my husband with him) when he suddenly morphed into an ex from high school. I told the ex from high school that I could cheat on my husband with him because we have nothing in common (nevermind that we are both married). I blame my husband and facebook for this weird ass dream. If he hadn't hogged the bed I wouldn't be thinking about leaving him for the first ex that showed up on my facebook feed. haha.

Carly79 · May 2016

Update: Ultrasound today was good. We were able to see heart beat and it was 138bpm. We didn't get to this point last time so it feels good but as we see these things, it starts to feel more real and I know we aren't out of the woods yet. Thinking of all of you still waiting on information.

ThePax89 · May 2016

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

Tired. Nauseous often but manageable. Painful nips. My cervix feels like it's going to fall out of butt. Has anyone here had a recent d&c? My cervix has been so irritable since my procedure. Wondering if anyone else has a d-bag cervix.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

Truth be told, I went on anxiety meds when I got my bfp. I feel super flat and unemotional. I prefer that to actually contemplating every horrible scenario ever.

4. When is your first or next appointment?

My 8 week appointment and scan is on 5/31. DH is coming, but my parents can't watch my daughter anymore. I'm really nervous about bringing her. She was in the room for my bad scan with the last pregnancy.

5. Rants/raves/whatever

I really want to go team green for this pregnancy. DH doesn't. We found out with my daughter. We even found out with our recent loss. I just want a heartbeat.

6. GTKY: what's the weirdest dream you can remember having?

Just having lots of sex with DH in a crowded room. Gross.

susykat77 · May 2016

Late to the update but hopefully I can get on the ball next week. I SO need this group of ladies! So glad there have been some reassuring U/S with the ladies that had a scare.

1. Tell us about yourself (if your first time participating) This is our second pregnancy. I had a MMC in December and was in the July16BMB. This go around we transferred 2 donor eggs (from two different donors!! (weird, I know)) Prior to that we had only tried IVF with my crappy eggs. DH and I live in Western Colorado and are outdoorsy types but not so crunchy that I don't appreciate some "so bad it's good" TV shows.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) My boobs are sore, I am tired in the afternoons and I have so occasional cramping/stretching in my uterus but really I feel mostly normal (which worries me).

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) Mostly ok but not always. I have gone for 4 betas because I am afraid of another MMC. I think I have to stop at 4. They have all been really great every two days going from 81, 295, 891, 2114. It is just so hard to just trust my body!

4. When is your first or next appointment? My first U/S is June 7 at 6w5d. 2 WHOLE weeks away!

5. Rants/raves/whatever Too tired to rant or rave...

6. GTKY: what's the weirdest dream you can remember having? I have a reoccurring dream - the situation changes but the same thing always happens - I am in the middle of doing something like driving a car, or walking down the sidewalk and then I lose consciousness (in my dream). I am aware in my dream that this has happened and I try to come-to but I can't move. Eventually I move and actually wake up. It is never fun.

gapeachrn · May 2016

1. Symptoms: tender boobs, tired, food aversion, peeing 24/7.

2. Anxiety: Somewhat. I feel like I've kept myself so disconnected this pregnancy. I hope after my 2nd scan tomorrow I'll finally get excited.

3. Next appointment is tomorrow. All prayers are appreciated. Just praying the baby is a week bigger and has a strong heartbeat.

4. Rants/raves: I'm a chemo nurse in an oncology office. My boss and fellow chemo nurses have really stepped it up these past three weeks. They haven't let me touch one single chemo drug and have been really understanding. It's a huge blessing and weight off my shoulders.

5. Weirdest dream: Every single night I wake up thinking wtf?! I had a dream we had a baby kangaroo out on the lake with us. My husband was letting it jump off the dock and then swim around. Now someone tell me what that means!

Lots of prayers for everyone. I just feel like it's a blessing to be pregnant for another week. I know y'all feel the same.

curlysue22 · May 2016

Glad that @ceclarlinetlo and "RocksInTheWater " both had good news!

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)
My stomach feels off and I can't figure out what sounds good to eat (mozzarella sticks are one of the few consistent things). Some days the bloating gets pretty painful by the end of the day.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)
Every stomach ache or back pain makes me think that it's happening again

. I'm having a hard time.

4. When is your first or next appointment?
Tomorrow I have a nurse appointment, no ultrasound yet.

5. Rants/raves/whatever
I told my parents and sisters this past weekend. I wanted my DD to know first, so my husband and I told her earlier in the day. She didn't act like she was really listening (she's 2.5). Later I was told that as she was playing with my sisters, she was saying random things and in the middle of the list was "and I'm a big sister" and she kept on going. My sisters' ears perked up but they didn't ask her about it. So they had a tip off when we announced later. DD came downstairs wearing a Big Sister t-shirt and my husband had a "I Love My Pregnant Wife" t-shirt on. It was cute. Now DD is asking all kinds of questions and being so sweet about the baby, but that makes me nervous about how she'd react if this baby doesn't stick.

6. GTKY: what's the weirdest dream you can remember having?
I have really crazy detailed dreams. One ended very strangely - I was inside my house and there was a murderer getting inside and there was nothing I could do about it. As he was reaching for me, I decided that I didn't want to be dreaming this anymore so I rolled the credits on my dream. So my dream ended with credits rolling up the "screen". Weird.

ceclarlinetlo · May 2016

@curlysue22 I'm so sorry the stomach and back pains are making you anxious. I know there isn't much that will be reassuring - only time passing and seeing things work out - so just know we are all thinking of you and rooting for you and baby!

Also the idea of rolling credits to end your dream cracked me up and I literal led lol'd.

Briala · May 2016

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)
I'm just sleepy mostly, a few nausea spells and my bobs are starting to ache more. My biggest worry is that I keep getting a consistant pink discharge and today I had a gush of brownish (sorry if tmi) that combined with cramps are making me jumpy.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)
A bit anxious because of ^ but I talked to my OB and she said the my numbers from friday looked great and progesterone is still good. She is really understanding about my fears and is on board with doing an U/S next week at 6 weeks if I'm still getting the spotting.

4. When is your first or next appointment?
Maaybe next week (I might jump on it anyways just to put my mind at ease) or June 9th

5. Rants/raves/whatever
I'm still feeling mostly postive and excited with like a cloud of worry behind me but I am still trying really hard not to think about it too much. My OB said to be on light duty for a bit so I don't aggravate anything.

6. GTKY: what's the weirdest dream you can remember having?
Once I remember having a dream fight with my husband and I woke up so mad at him, it took me a bit to remember it was a dream. I was about to call him and give him a piece of my mind but I realized in time. I tend to have really lucid and in depth dreams a lot of the time they are so realistic that I can control them.

@ceclarlinetlo I'm glad everything is looking good and same goes to all of you ladies! Happy thoughts!

cjs260 · May 2016

Hey y'all. I'm having a super rough day today and just wanted to check-in for some support. Since my scare on Tuesday, I've been having some very light brown spotting, which started out darker on Tues and now, is only noticeable because I'm looking for it. The OB said spotting is to be expected, and not to worry unless it transitioned back to red. I saw a healthy baby with a great heart rate and measurement, and I haven't had any other bleeding since (besides one single clot Tues afternoon, which I'm trying to tell myself was just hanging out up there and finally worked its way down). My symptoms are as on point as they've ever been. Basically, I have absolutely no reason to believe that anything is wrong. H thinks I'm just overly anxious. I think that Tuesday just triggered me a bit, and I'm having a hard time re-centering afterwards. I just wish I had some way to monitor baby's progress for the next 2.5 weeks until my next u/s. I just have this huge fear that even though we saw everything looking exactly like it should, we'll go back in for our next u/s to see no heartbeat. I know that missed miscarriages are 1% of all pregnancies and that is such a slim chance, but blighted ovums are 1% as well, and I've been in that 1%.

All of that to ask: what are your mantras when you get down? My go to "Today I am pregnant" isn't cutting it today. I'm trying to focus on what I can do to make sure that I'm doing my part for a healthy pregnancy (i.e. hydrations, fruits and veggies, etc) but I'm just feeling a little negatively overwhelmed. Thanks for just taking the time to read this - I'm very grateful to have a community to lean on.

LoneStar21416 · May 2016

@cjs260 sorry you're having a rough day. Practically, perhaps your bleeding is sticking around because you had an ultrasound. I experienced spotting during the end of week 4 into mid week 5. I had a pelvic exam and ultrasound at the beginning of week 5 and my bleeding continued for a day or so after that ultrasound and was heavier after the exam. I think anytime you have an exam, your cervix can be easily irritated.

I totally understand the anxiety though. It's been over two weeks since my last scan and my anxiety is ramping up. I won't go for another scan for about another 1.5 weeks and I'm terrified. I had a nightmare last night about having another miscarriage. The mantra "today I am pregnant" has never worked for me because I had a missed miscarriage with my first pregnancy. It doesn't resonate with me at all. I try to focus on the fact that I had a known problem before (uterine septum) that was corrected, and now my chances are just like everyone else's. So even if that's not your situation, like you said, perhaps focus on the facts and statistics. If I were a betting person, the odds would be in your/our favor. So why assume the worst? It's not easy, but that's what I'm trying to focus on. I hope that helps. I really feel for you. The struggle is real!!

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