FFFC May 20

OrangeEv · May 2016

Happy Friday!!!

Now confess.

Kaessi · May 2016

I stopped and got two Egg McMuffins on my way to work with the intention of saving one for tomorrow's breakfast. Yeah...as soon as I sat down at my desk I ate them both in rapid succession. And might have had a piece of coffee cake that a co-worker brought in today as well.

queen_frostine · May 2016

I frequently type out responses, then decide that they're stupid and don't post them.

LauraPCOS · May 2016

Kaessi said:

I stopped and got two Egg McMuffins on my way to work with the intention of saving one for tomorrow's breakfast. Yeah...as soon as I sat down at my desk I ate them both in rapid succession. And might have had a piece of coffee cake that a co-worker brought in today as well.

Oh we're so on the same train today. I stopped at McDonald's and had a BTL bagel, plus hash brown, and 2 oatmeal cookies with an orange juice....and a coke. I also bought a muffin for a snack after lunch.

ignoscemihi · May 2016

Sometimes when I'm really frustrated with my toddler, I'll put in one ear bud and listen to a podcast while reading to him or playing with him instead of paying complete attention to him.

UponAStar16 · May 2016

I completely get that maternity leave is nothing like a vacation and that being a stay-at-home mom is a hard job in itself, but I'm secretly really jealous of people who get to stay at home with their kids, and I am sooo looking forward to hopefully getting about 3 months at home with a newborn before I have to go back to work full-time on top of parenting.

edited because typing is hard

agogo1 · May 2016

@UponAStar16 this is my life. I so, so envy people who have the choice to be stay at home parents. As a result, I am not very tolerant of whiny stay at home parents. Being able to stay at home with my kids some day is my greatest wish. I have a SIL who is a SAHM and complains about her child non-stop. I literally can not stand being around her, it makes me want to pull my hair out.

annabenanna · May 2016

UponAStar16 said:

I completely get the maternity leave is nothing like a vacation and that being a stay-at-home mom is a hard job in itself, but I'm secretly really jealous of people who get to stay at home with their kids, and I am sooo looking forward to hopefully getting about 3 months at home with a newborn before I have to go back to work full-time on top of parenting.

**STUCK IN THE BOX!!!***; I'm on the same page as you @UponAStar16 . I was just thinking about this last night. I told S.O. "i found this movie theater that let nursing moms come in with their babies for a matinee show on Tuesdays at 10AM for $6! I'm totally going every Tuesday during my ML" I can't wait for my ML so I can bond with the baby and play SAHM even for just a little bit. Even contemplating taking a week or two off before DD so I can chill a little bit and have some time to myself.

kmalls · May 2016

agogo1 said:

@UponAStar16 this is my life. I so, so envy people who have the choice to be stay at home parents. As a result, I am not very tolerant of whiny stay at home parents. Being able to stay at home with my kids some day is my greatest wish. I have a SIL who is a SAHM and complains about her child non-stop. I literally can not stand being around her, it makes me want to pull my hair out.

I totally get this (constantly complaining about anything at all is grating), though I do have to say it's definitely a grass is greener situation. When I hear working parents complain about petty office politics, all I can think is "holy crap the office would be a VACATION compared to some of my days!" Obviously each situation comes with its own unique stressors, and we all wish (at times) for what we don't have.

ibabyloveb87 · May 2016

I ask my hubby at least once a week if I can retire in October. So far the answer is no.

von1976 · May 2016

I eat poached eggs on the regular. I figure salmonella is mostly on the shell and it's pretty unlikely I'll contract it.

annabenanna · May 2016

von1976 said:

I eat poached eggs on the regular. I figure salmonella is mostly on the shell and it's pretty unlikely I'll contract it.

@von1976 i do too!!! I like my eggs runny, but now we'll cook them just a tad bit longer so they aren't THAT runny.

westcoastfoodie · May 2016

UponAStar16 said:

I completely get that maternity leave is nothing like a vacation and that being a stay-at-home mom is a hard job in itself, but I'm secretly really jealous of people who get to stay at home with their kids, and I am sooo looking forward to hopefully getting about 3 months at home with a newborn before I have to go back to work full-time on top of parenting.

edited because typing is hard

Oh so much this. I think my confession is that (and I KNOW I shouldn't) I feel guilty for wanting to take the full amount of time off even though I work a pretty easy job from home. I just want to be able to have uninterrupted mommy and me time and go to the park and peruse the mall and breast feed in movies too.

agogo1 · May 2016

@kmalls yes, definitely, and we all need to have the opportunity to vent, regardless of whether we work or stay at home. I do think it's different, though, when you have a CHOICE between the two. It's an extremely wonderful privilege and very few of the SAHMs I know seem to get that. It's totally a personal hangup on my end and I've considered finding a therapist to help me work through some of it. I think being a working mom (not by choice) is especially challenging for me because my MIL watches my LO and I am the only woman in my H's family (and I am SURROUNDED by his family, none of mine is local) who has ever worked when our children were small. There are a lot of comments made in passing that just sting. It would likely be a bit easier for me if DD was in a daycare setting, but my MIL is wonderful with her and DD adores her nana, so it is the best thing for now.

SpaceBurger · May 2016

I'm dying to be a stay at home mom because I can't bear the thought of having to leave my baby with someone else to raise it for the majority of the day. Alas, it's not in the cards for now or the foreseeable future

missmaehurt · May 2016

Husband and I took the day off to tackle more of the house packing/throwing crap away. I've been up since 6:30am and have already done a ton of running around. I really just need to take a nap, but his mom and cousin are here helping and I want to look like a jerk.

Blonde1817 · May 2016

I agree with you all, while I know that being a SAHM can be an incredibly challenging job, I'm just super jealous that it can't be me! At least not with this LO. It makes me really sad to know that someone else will be taking care of him everyday. But it's just not a choice right now, we can't afford for me to stay home. And then even if it someday is a choice, I would be scared to give up working at a job I really like and not be able to find as good of an opportunity when I want to work again. I'm really hoping that whenever we have baby #2, I can cut down to maybe two days a week or just do contract work or something so I can keep my foot in the door but work as little as possible. This is so hard!

kmtz89 · May 2016

Some days my head wants to explode when I'm with our 1-2.5 year olds. To the point where I have to walk out of the room for a few minutes because I can't handle it.
There are 12 of them and I can't decide if my patience has died or they have gotten ridiculously naughty.

MRSCORKER · May 2016

My MIL went on a friending spree and tried to friend everyone in my family. I got to almost everyone and told them to ignore it but I didn't get to my mom fast enough. Now I'm trying to figure out how to tell my mom to hide her so she can't see anything my mom posts. I know she only did it so she could keep tabs and keep score of how often everyone sees the baby vs. her. My parents are going to be our main source of day care once we go back to work and if she finds out, it's going to cause a shit storm of a temper tantrum.

I guess my confession is, I'm ignoring her friend request for as long as I can get away with it and I've told everyone else to pretend like they never get on in the unlikely event they see her and she asks. LEAVE ME ALONE CRAZY LADY!

UponAStar16 · May 2016

@kmolleltz lol probably a little bit of both!

krzyriver · May 2016

I didn't pull my butt out of bed until 1 today. Hubby and I were up until 3am fighting and I just couldn't bring myself to get up.

ibabyloveb87 · May 2016

MRSCORKER said:

My MIL went on a friending spree and tried to friend everyone in my family. I got to almost everyone and told them to ignore it but I didn't get to my mom fast enough. Now I'm trying to figure out how to tell my mom to hide her so she can't see anything my mom posts. I know she only did it so she could keep tabs and keep score of how often everyone sees the baby vs. her. My parents are going to be our main source of day care once we go back to work and if she finds out, it's going to cause a shit storm of a temper tantrum.

I guess my confession is, I'm ignoring her friend request for as long as I can get away with it and I've told everyone else to pretend like they never get on in the unlikely event they see her and she asks. LEAVE ME ALONE CRAZY LADY!

This is the plus side to my crazy MIL barely even knowing how to text. No social media!! I would do the same thing though - ignore ignore ignore!

TNlove1027 · May 2016

I have cared for other people's children for close to 2 decades, in daycare settings and private nanny settings. The daycares I worked for though were only ever excellent, reputable, educational centers that always received the highest state marks so I learned quickly that (illnesses aside) these high-quality day cares CAN be excellent sources of developmental "strength" in several areas, and also come with many benefits that being just one-on-one can't 100% compete with. I always said I could comfortably go back to work if my child were to go to a great daycare, I was a big advocate, but now that I'm actually pregnant for the first time I have yet to envision anything but fear and anxiety at the thought of not just staying home instead.

depineta · May 2016

TNlove1027 said:

I have cared for other people's children for close to 2 decades, in daycare settings and private nanny settings. The daycares I worked for though were only ever excellent, reputable, educational centers that always received the highest state marks so I learned quickly that (illnesses aside) these high-quality day cares CAN be excellent sources of developmental "strength" in several areas, and also come with many benefits that being just one-on-one can't 100% compete with. I always said I could comfortably go back to work if my child were to go to a great daycare, I was a big advocate, but now that I'm actually pregnant for the first time I have yet to envision anything but fear and anxiety at the thought of not just staying home instead.

So I guess my confession is that, ever since we found one of these fabulous, high-quality day care centers, I'm completely fine with going back to work. I love my job and I'm lucky enough to get a nice long maternity leave so I think that's helping. Maybe I'll change my mind when the baby is here, but so far I haven't had any bad feelings about coming back after leave. Sometimes I feel like the least maternal mom-to-be on the planet!

F47 · May 2016

@depineta How long is your maternity leave? Totally just curious (nosy?).

mothernorth · May 2016

As a SAHM who used to be a full-time working mom, I confess I really miss working =/

I don't want that to be confused with me not cherishing all the time I have with my children and being grateful for it. I know I stay home for the overall well being of my family and there are plenty of ladies who would kill to be in my shoes, but this wasn't exactly "my choice", or a career option that ever appealed to me. Going back to work just isn't an option for me as of right now.

scostel2 · May 2016

@depineta I'm totally with you. I work for a college and we have subsidized on campus daycare and I'm looking forward to sending the baby. I actually kind of hate my job, but I can't even imagine not working (even if it were a legitimate option, which it's not)

ashleyp625 · May 2016

depineta said:

TNlove1027 said:

I have cared for other people's children for close to 2 decades, in daycare settings and private nanny settings. The daycares I worked for though were only ever excellent, reputable, educational centers that always received the highest state marks so I learned quickly that (illnesses aside) these high-quality day cares CAN be excellent sources of developmental "strength" in several areas, and also come with many benefits that being just one-on-one can't 100% compete with. I always said I could comfortably go back to work if my child were to go to a great daycare, I was a big advocate, but now that I'm actually pregnant for the first time I have yet to envision anything but fear and anxiety at the thought of not just staying home instead.

So I guess my confession is that, ever since we found one of these fabulous, high-quality day care centers, I'm completely fine with going back to work. I love my job and I'm lucky enough to get a nice long maternity leave so I think that's helping. Maybe I'll change my mind when the baby is here, but so far I haven't had any bad feelings about coming back after leave. Sometimes I feel like the least maternal mom-to-be on the planet!

I'm with you. I want to go back to work because I love my job. I would love to get more than 6 weeks of maternity leave, though. I'm sure there will be days where I'd rather be home, but I have complete trust in the day care we chose, and I know I would become a crazy person rapidly if I wasn't out of the house all day.

TurtleMomma · May 2016

I kind if fall in a weird inbetween because I want to work more but I can't afford daycare in our area and have no family/friends who can help. With what I make, I'd still end up in the hole for FT DC. Only reason I work weekends is because my husband watches DS. Weird, right?

TurtleMomma · May 2016

Stuff and things

depineta · May 2016

@F47 I get 5 months of leave, plus a sixth month working from home. My husband gets the same. I honestly have no idea how we got this lucky and I completely understand how annoying it must sound because I know so many people get little to no leave time.

TNlove1027 · May 2016

See, and I have always wanted to go back to work before now, I never saw myself as a SAHM! I am independent, have always worked over full-time with at least one job, usually two, and have enjoyed it! Maybe it's just the hormones making me indecisive! Financially, we probably should choose daycare so I could bring in the extra income, but we could never actually afford the higher quality ones which leaves me with hesitancy for lower quality places

CopperBoom86 · May 2016

My sweet husband gave me a Pandora bracelet last night for my birthday. He chose the teddy bear charm with a pink bow to represent the baby, who we've called "baby bear" since the BFP.

My confession is that I've always thought Pandora bracelets were stupid. I'm not a jewelry person, period, much less a gaudy charm bracelet person. I love it because he picked it out for me and because of the meaning behind the charm, but I feel slightly embraced to be wearing it. I'm a terrible person.

ignoscemihi · May 2016

@AllyTheKid I'm right there with you. I'm a stay-at-home mom, but it wasn't my first choice either. And I understand that it's a privilege to be able to afford to stay home, but that doesn't make it an easy job.

@agogo1 your comments kind of had me stewing all day, probably because I've been feeling extra-insecure about not working and about my parenting skills lately. I don't think it's fair to dismiss the complaints of stay-at-home parents just because they had the option to stay home. For one thing, some people don't actually have the choice. In some cities, daycare costs are so high that it just makes more sense financially to stay home. For another, choosing your job doesn't preclude you from disliking it sometimes (like, as a purely hypothetical example, it's Friday and your toddler hasn't taken a nap four days in a row and you're so tired that you go to bed as soon as he's in bed every night - around 8 p.m. - and the only time you've gotten by yourself in two years is when you're running on the treadmill at 4:30 a.m., when you're doing the dishes after dinner every night, or when you're cleaning the house on the days your toddler actually takes a nap and you're just so close to the end of your rope because you just want to have thirty minutes to do whatever you want without being prodded by a toddler or your husband. Hypothetically.).

I love my child and I love being able to be home with him. But I still look at my friends with jobs and kids and I get jealous of them for getting to take a lunch break or getting to zone out on their commute or not having to worry every time they make a non-essential purchase because they aren't contributing financially to the household. And I'm sure they envy me for not having deadlines or a boss and for getting to spend all day with one of the people I love most in the world. But I think it would be unfair for either of us to tell the other that they don't have the right to complain about the bad aspects of their life.

ibabyloveb87 · May 2016

I'm confessing that I totally could pick up our friends for a party tonight. It's not that far out of the way. But I'm not feeling 100%, so I told them I wasn't sure what time I was going and couldn't drive them tonight. I normally don't mind driving, but at the same time, just because I'm sober doesn't mean I'm picking you up for every single thing we do.

agogo1 · May 2016

@ignoscemihi I think you very much misread my comments. I specifically stated that everyone needs to vent. My SIL literally complains about her child constantly. I'd feel similarly about someone who constantly complained about their job--if it's pure torture, do something else. I recognize that some people have limited options.

And, er, I also fessed up about needing to see a therapist because I'm especially sensitive about this topic...

FemShep · May 2016

I could never be a SAHM. I love the satisfaction I get from being a kick-ass professional. I love setting the example for my kids that you can achieve your professional dreams and also have a great family. And I think my kids have done better in their care programs than they would have done with me staying home, in large part because I am so much happier and fulfilled when I'm working.

I admire SAHMs tremendously. It's a very tough and under-appreciated job. It's not the right choice for me.

NoraAurora · May 2016

I like the fact that I work 1-2 days a week and get to stay home the other days. It gives me some balance that (it sounds like) some others aren't as fortunate to get. My scheduling flexibility is the best part of my job.

Now if if I could just get school done with so I could actually have time to myself when DS naps.

My FFFC: not a great one but I had a little wine the other night.

Kaessi · May 2016

ibabyloveb87 said:

I'm confessing that I totally could pick up our friends for a party tonight. It's not that far out of the way. But I'm not feeling 100%, so I told them I wasn't sure what time I was going and couldn't drive them tonight. I normally don't mind driving, but at the same time, just because I'm sober doesn't mean I'm picking you up for every single thing we do.

@ibabyloveb87 I totally get this! I'm so tired of "Oh we'll just get her to be the DD!" I don't mind every once in a while, but every single time is not acceptable. When I announced my pregnancy on FB I actually got a few, "Congrats! Now we'll have a DD for *insert random event here*!" Seriously...

F47 · May 2016

@depineta that's incredible! Do you live in America? I'm guessing no...

SpaceBurger · May 2016

@NoraAurora That actually sounds like the best of both worlds! Maybe I could get that to swing at my work.

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