Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
MommyMarieVas
member
Re: Pro and Cons Please
The reason of not wanting to "traumatize" a newborn is as valid as wanting a boy to have surgery so his penis looks like dad's. (even though a baby or small boy will in no way look like a grown man) A man not remembering a circumcision doesn't mean it wasn't a big deal when it was done. That being said, if someone did research they could find many reasons for not doing it other than possible trauma. You can also find reaons to do it other than looking like dad.
There are so many reasons to do it and not to do it. Search old posts and you will find many, many opinions.
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!Yeah but chances are no one cares about your opinion.
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!seriously though, Google is your friend. Circ is a personal choice that is best decided between you and your significant other
Married May 16th 2015
July BMB June Siggy
Married: October 2014
TTC #1 since September 2015
I have two kids (one male) and have never been asked about it, or even heard it mentioned... (I'm in the UK).
Is it a cosmetic thing? (That seems so weird...) or like a hygiene thing?
Married May 16th 2015
July BMB June Siggy
Humans are designed to work the way we come out of the womb.
Foreskin is not a birth defect.
I personally don't feel that permanently surgically altering your child to (theoretically, maybe, possibly) aid in preventing sexually transmitted diseases is really a necessary or appropriate action. My infant isn't having sex and I, again personally, think it's weird to assume he'll be promiscuous.
Condoms, monogamous long term relationships, or abstinence all also reduce the risk for sexually transmitted diseases and none of them require surgery to be performed without consent from the person receiving surgery.
Pain is pain.
The infants I've known who have been circumcised have never answered me when I asked them to rate their pain levels or how traumatized they do or don't feel after surgery.
Cause they can't talk.
If they can't talk they can't give consent and they can't object and they can't complain.
Is that maybe a little overly dramatic way to express it?
Sure, but it's how I feel when I hear people say it hurts less for infants as opposed to grown men. Cause see, grown men act like they are dying if the get a cold*. Seriously. Think about that one. They get a cold and they can't even make toast for themselves. So yeah, I imagine they would complain long and loud over surgery on their penis. Where as a baby can only cry and they cry for everything so it's really hard to know how they actually feel about anything.
My other thought on the subject is if you look at the bigger picture, ie a longer timeline and the whole planet, circumcision for other than religious reasons is fairly new and not prevalent in most parts of the world.
As far as I can tell it really boils down to religious and cosmetic appearance reasons. I feel it very much infringes on the rights of an individual to perform cosmetic surgery on them without their consent.
My pediatrician's practice clearly states it is not required for medical reasons, they don't recommend it, but they can perform a circumcision if the parents request it.
So to me, if it's not required for medical reasons, it's not something I think should be done.
These are my OPINIONS on the subject.
Not looking to argue with anyone on this one as my mind is firmly made up on the subject and I'm not looking to change yours if you are firm in your convictions. Just merely offering my views, thoughts, opinions and whatnot on the subject.
For the record amongst my friends and family there is a 50/50 split on circumcised vrs not males and I have offered zero opinions after the fact and only offer my opinion before hand when asked. The OP asked and that is why I am offering.
*Yes, I realize that is a sweeping sexist generalization and my apologies to my strong brothers who CAN and DO make their own toast and even heat their own soup when they are sick. But for many of us I think we've encountered a fellow or 2 struck down by the dreaded He-bola so I gotta monopolize on that imagery to illustrate my point.
TL;DR : my research, pediatrician's stance, and my personal opinion is circumcision is a cosmetic procedure, medically unnecessary and I am personally passionately against them.
Consent.
Infants can't consent.
So it makes no difference if it's mommy or daddy making the choice, it's one human having something done to them chosen for them by another human without their consent or input and I don't think that's cool regardless of it's circumcision for a male or birth control options for a woman.
Married May 16th 2015
July BMB June Siggy
I realise now that perhaps I am mis-understanding the use of the term, and it in fact means "cosmetic" as opposed to "required".
It's not a subject I've ever looked into, since it's just not a thing over here, so I'm finding this all quite interesting.
Something people look at that you feel could be more attractive.
This is why I get hung up on the idea of circumcision being cosmetic. As I said above, I now see the error in my thinking, certainly from an insurance point of view.
Interesting. It's still not covered by mine.
For me cosmetic equals not medically necessary, and meant to change the appearance of. Whether changing the appearance makes the body part more attractive or appealing is more about the culture and society in which it's viewed. It's weird to think of an infant's penis being more or less attractive, but I do think that in some cultures and societies a circumcised adult penis is considered more attractive or at least more "the norm" (and in general what is considered normal for any body part is viewed more favorably, that's why it's the norm).
Married: October 2014
TTC #1 since September 2015