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May 2016 Moms
camillaandcarson
member
Toddlers + newborn
camillaandcarson
member
How is your toddler adjusting?
How is it going?
How is it going?
Re: Toddlers + newborn
BFP 1: 9/15/2013 | DD 5/23/2014
BFP 2: 9/15/2015 | EDD 5/26/2016
I know DS will eventually adjust, and things will calm down. I am thankful that he isn't acting out toward the baby, and that DD is a generally calm and mellow baby. But man! I miss my sweet and kind son and I would really like just a little bit of sleep. Right now there are moments where the only thing that gets me through is the knowledge that everything with babies changes so fast that this too is only temporary.
On walks I have the toddler seat directly in front so we talk and sing songs, for snack time I've been allowing him to have a little picnic with me on the floor so we get some one on one cuddling in during the day. I've been on my own for bath/bedtime a few times so far and the first time was daunting but the next few times I started prepping way before and felt more confident.
I know that it won't always be this easy since DS2 won't always sleep so much, so I'm trying to capitalize on the moments I have now.
We have an ergo that we used constantly (not for the newborn stage though).
So so shoot me straight. Should I stand my ground? Is it as important for DD to meet the baby first? What did you ladies do with your toddlers? Am I overreacting because I can't stand my MIL?!
Halllllllllp
You are the one who is giving birth. You are the one who carried this child for 9 months. You will be the one doing all the work, both in birth, recovery, and life ever after.
If it is important to you that your own child meet their new sibling first then make it happen.
You will not regret it ever.
I wanted the same for my birth and the look on my older child's face was one of the most amazing moments and I will hold it dear to my heart forever. Don't let anyone take that away from you and your new little family.
I should ad, NO ONE necessary needs to be there the first night. Even if they've been camped in the waiting room. First, you'll want to be moved to your new room, then you'll have to get settled, get some food, and just take some time for yourselves and your new LO. Other people need to respect that. If they have an issue, that's their problem, not yours.
So yes, stand your ground. It's obviously important to you. And it was totally worth it.
And thank you all for your input. I guess I'm not crazy for feeling this way after all.
Maybe explain it this way - it doesn't seem like a big deal to adults, but it's the first time your child (depending on age) can really understand that there's a sibling. It's literally their first impression and it was important to me to make that meeting as happy, positive, and calm as possible so that DS1 could meet his little brother and have a little bit of time just the four of us. Your responsibility is to your kids and ensuring their transition is a positive one. If someone can't respect your wishes when you put it that way there's something wrong with their priorities (in my opinion)!
To make matters worse, my extra fluid made me so big that my core is totally destroyed, and it's really hard for me to sit up or stand for more than 20 minutes at a time. So I can't lift him in & out of his crib or car seat, which will be interesting when my husband goes back to work next week. And it also makes me really hesitant to take my son in public, because if he has a meltdown I don't know if I could physically make him leave the setting. I'm just really not looking forward to next Monday when real life starts back up!
Like @kbrands7 said, we are trying to give positive reinforcement and praise him when he does things right. We also talk a lot about how hard it is to share mommy & daddy and be quiet while the baby is sleeping, etc. He's only 2.5, but he does try to express what he's feeling. I know too, that this is all normal. I'm just hoping it passes quickly, because it's been less than a month and I'm exhausted already.
-would walk past my mom nursing my brother and unlatch her.
-poke my brother really hard
-try and shove stuff down his throat
until one night we had a very bad babysitter who's kids were basically assaulting my little brother. I locked us in the bathroom until my parents came home and became extremely protective of him from then on. Now we're both adults and were very close.
the moral of the story is: don't dispare mamas! Your older siblings will figure it out!
But after no sleep all last night/this morning, juggling bath time for a toddler + infant this morning, entertaining the idea of a shower for me plus hair and make up, and making sure every member is well fed and clothes are ironed and stay clean, I don't know what I was thinking when I booked these for in the morning.
It is too bad when you book it doesn't come with a helper, someone to hold baby while you get ready, or to sit with the toddler in the high chair while toddler eats, etc. or maybe a built in grace period of 3 hours if you happen to be running behind...
Things are just different around here. It was just the toddler and me having all the time in the world and now things have been turned a bit upside down. That is ok. Not too worried about it. We have lots of patience and are always available to talk and hang out. We will all adjust and things will be great given time.
I know this is a hard transition for LO, having to see me in the hospital, recovering from surgery, always nursing, etc. so I keep all of that in mind.