We had Hot Topic Tuesday in my last BMB. We reserved hot topics like the death penalty, pro-life/choice, etc. for those days. It was actually nice to talk about something non-baby/pregnancy.
DH prefers some hair. He says no hair at all makes him think of prepubescent girls which makes him want to hurl in that context. However, I can't do full bush cause it feels gross, so I use an electric beard trimmer to take it all down to about 1/4 inch long. It's what works best for both of us.
Little late but in regards to spanking, we've been at our wits end with our four year old and have tried it. It didn't work. Bottom line. Made me feel bad, was ineffective at behavioral modification and won't be doing it again. I was spanked as a child on occasion and am only *minimally* psychologically damaged, but it just doesn't work.
What has worked the best has been consistent rules and consequences but again, still figuring it out 6 years and 3 kids later.
Just to point out-- I do have friends IRL who spank and I do not. We are great friends and just live and let live with regards to how we rear our kids. Spanking isn't really a thing in my house. We remove privileges, and have consequences that don't revolve around hitting. Its unreasonable, to me, to permit an adult to hit a child and then tell a child that they may not hit anyone younger than them or their peers. Its conflicting examples for a child starting at a young age. I can't very well tell my son we don't hit others if I'm going to hit him (with a paddle or my hand, whatever) when he misbehaves, you know?
Some disagree with me and that's alright. You do you. Its just not for me. I feel the same way about sleep training (oh the UO's we will have later on this topic). Its just not for me. I don't care what you do for your kid though because its not my kid and not my choice.
My kids are very very well behaved. I get compliments all the time. In contrast, the parents I know that have employed spanking are now (at 4-6 years of age) having issues with their children hitting other children when they don't get their way. Talking back to teachers. I mean, some very real behavioral issues. Would they have this issue if their parents didn't spank? Maybe, but corporal punishment has been extensively studied and actually proven to be a bad idea.
There was some research that came out about spanking very recently that revealed that it is, in fact, damaging to a child. I'll find it here. Again, I'm not saying that anyone that chooses to do it is a bad or abusive parent. I'm saying that the research has been enough to convince me.
This. All of this. I used to nanny for a child who was spanked and he was so aggressive with other children (and me) when he was upset. He learned by example that you hit when you're mad or upset, so he hit. A lot. At home, at school, wherever. And, any discipline I tried with him fell flat. It was like he didn't think he was in trouble unless he was getting spanked and I was never ever going to spank him myself.
@turtlemomma this is where I draw the line! I hate all body hair. my waxer was out for 2 weeks and when I got there yesterday I felt like I was a Sasquatch. legs eyebrows toes crotch everything off
I feel beautiful and empowered with my pubes in tact. I do shave my legs because they get super itchy and I will shave my pits. I'm indifferent to my eyebrows.
I personally don't believe in spanking, ever. To me, no matter how "structured" the punishment, it's still an adult striking a child. That's not something that happens in our house.
I agree. ETA because I read the rest of the thread: My opinion on spanking isn't a personal dig on anyone at all, it just isn't something that I believe in for my children and in my household. I do have friends who spank and we are great friends nonetheless. However, it isn't something that we will be practicing with our children.
This has given me a lot of stuff to think about when it comes to spanking! DH was a terrible child and got spanked a lot. He's pro-spanking. I was a perfect angel and I think I maybe got spanked once. I'm not sure if that was because my parents didn't like doing it or if I really never was that bad again. I hated being in trouble and I vaguely remember it. I'm not sure where I stand at this point as a FTM, but I think I'm on the side of "it depends on the child." Let's hope our kids get the perfect angel behaviors! Yeah, right....
On the subject of hair, take it all. The ability to shave is becoming more difficult and it's driving me crazy!!
Me:33 DH: 34 Married: May 2011 TTC #1: May 2015 DS: 10/20/2016 TTC #2: June 2019 #2 EDD: 2/20/2020
@MRSCORKER I'm feeling you! I love that landing strip but lately my strip has been getting wider and wider because I can't reach around my stomach or see my vagini as well as I used to. The drama!
My husband and I were discussing the spanking article a few week ago at dinner. Our almost 4 year old asked what spanking was so DH tried to explain it to her. I will never forget the look on her face. She was literally horrified that someone would hit someone else. We do not spank instead we try and use the misbehavior as a learning experience.
This post is not ment to pass judgment on anyone. It's just to share our experience.
I'm avoiding the spanking discussion cause it's late and I'm tired.
As for the pubic hair, I hate it. I don't like it on me and I don't like it on other women when I'm with them. I mean people can do whatever they want with their own bodies obviously, but to me it's gross. Back in my single days I was definitely less.... let's say enthusiastic.... when I was being intimate with a woman who didn't get rid of most of it.
I was a waxer, had my boss wax me every four weeks for years. When I quit, I started shaving. Now I can't reach and don't feel like getting waxed so it's fully grown for the first time in about 8 years and it's driving me crazy. I feel dirty. I can't even bend to shave my thighs, so from the knees up I'm a mess!
Hubby prefers clean shaven but doesn't even notice if my legs or other parts are hairy. So he hasn't complained.
I was never spanked as a child, however, my Mom made horrible choices in men and they were verbally, physically and emotionally abusive so I mean who needs spanking when you have all that crap affecting your psyche?
I've never spanked my children and it's not just a personal choice but one I've educated myself on. My DD was insanely trying for soooo many years and there was one instance where she was around 9 or 10 where I just lost it on her and my Mom was there and thankfully stepped in. I didn't hit her but had my hands on her shoulders and it was about to escalate. She's now a beautiful albeit fiercely opinionated and stubborn 16 yo but I regret that moment to this very day. I was disgusted with myself for losing control in that moment and what would have happened had I put my hands on her?
I see this debate so often on FB and comments like "Kids nowadays need spankings" or "The kids that don't get spanked are the ones failing or causing trouble", "Kids have no respect because they don't get spanked"etc. My rebuttal to that is always that neither of my children have ever been soaked and they are straight A students, are respectful of me as well as strangers they meet, have made great choices in friends, are loving and kind. I'm not saying they are perfect, they have their flaws for sure but they know they can come and talk to me about anything because they do not fear me. They respect me and it's a mutual thing and not because I forced respect upon them with my hands. I can't imagine how our relationship would be if they messed up somehow and were afraid to tell me for fear I would spank them. I have no right to put my hands on another human being no matter if they are a child.
I debated commenting because this is something I'm so passionate about but there are just SO many studies out there which disprove spanking entirely, not to mention I can't imagine a single Pediatrician or Child Psych saying it's something you should do. I can tell you if ever there's a parental split and one parent spanks and the other doesn't, the spanking parent will be up a creek without a paddle and there is a reason for that.
Also, I'm not going to hate on anyone who does believe in spanking or have it change my opinion of you. I too have friends and family members who spank and it's one of those things where you just agree to disagree.
CRAP I went to sleep right when this thread was getting started and clearly I missed out!
In Tanzania, physical punishment is the norm. Kids are "spanked", pinched, or hit with a thin stick. We have had to fire staff over this because we have a strict no-physical-punishment rule and they sign a contract over it. In the public schools the teachers regularly hit the misbehaving students with the stick (called Fimbo in swahili so pardon my poor translations). And in general I would say a large percentage of local kids I know are way more prone to violent acting out with their peers and otherwise.
I was in the category of I had shitty parents and so I wasn't spanked I was beat and the terror of that stuck with me for a long time. I know there is a difference but I don't believe I will spank my child. I will say I have come close to losing my temper before and needed to walk away from situations which has solidified that I will not spank my children.
And on body hair, I've gots it. I feel lucky to live in a country where no one judges body hair and in fact most love it. Which is kinda funny. I tend to keep the pubes trimmed a bit so it's not a jungle, but I only shave my legs like once a month.
I prefer standing my 3 year old in the corner for time out. She hates it. Completly harmless but boy for her to have to stand facing away from us for 3 minutes is like the worst thing you could do for her. Me and DH grew up getting spanked, neither of us were that bad growing up I think we only each got one and that's it. I've swatted my kids on a diapered butt (which is not effective) but they don't seem to care. I make the 3 year old do the corner and the 1.5 year old (who is very smart and mature for her age) sit on the couch for 1.5 minutes or until the screaming passes. I agree a swat on the butt works sometimes but mine don't care one bit. Ignore them though, and they think the world is ending.
I shave all my lady parts. I've deeply considered getting it all lasered off but then I worry when I'm super old I might regret it.
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I don't have a strong opinion on spanking one way or another. I was spanked. H was not. He has a stronger opinion than me so we don't spank.
Instead, my child hates being restrained in any way so I just hold his arms to his sides until he gets the point. It's a weird punishment but it kinda works so yeah.
I hate pubes. They are itchy. I wish I had no hair except scalp and eyebrows/eyelashes.
I had weird dynamic growing up, my parents were divorced when I was really young and my mother spanked me, but my father didn't (except for only one time). As an adult I'm super close to my dad and only talk to my mom on holidays, who knows if that really has anything to do with it over their actions throughout the years. My husband and I have discussed spanking and we were pro spanking, but after reading everyone's responses I think we may need to revisit the topic.
Husband doesn't care about body hair at all. I can't even tell you the last time I shaved anything besides my armpits. I am lucky to have very light hair on my legs and don't wear shorts ever so there's no way anyone would know.
I don't believe in spanking and I have no intention of ever changing my mind. There has been clear research on it's inefficacy, and yet, people always insist, "I was spanked and I turned out fine." Sure you did, but what does "fine" mean anyways? Everyone thinks that they're "fine." I'm "fine," but I also have a lot of emotional issues too. I'm not saying that spanking in childhood automatically causes problems, but I think people should question it more than to say "that's the way it's always been done."
I was only spanked a few times as a child. I have no memory of what I did or learning anything from it, but I do remember feeling an immense amount of shame. Instilling shame is not the way I want to parent. I also remember my parents being angry, overwhelmed and/or frustrated when they spanked me. I know most parents use spanking as a wit's end response, but what is it really teaching the child? When you get really angry/overwhelmed/frustrated it's an appropriate response to hit someone else to get the behavior you want out of them? In my experience with toddlers and preschoolers, kids cannot differentiate between something that's okay for mom and dad to do to me, but not okay for me to do to others. Most of the time, those kids will come into school and behave aggressively to get the response they want out of others, because that's what they know.
I don't think that people who spank are bad parents. I think that most of the time we automatically fall back on parenting the way we were parented. It takes a lot of intention and awareness to change those patterns. I love my parents, and I think that they were wonderful parents. But whenever I make a mistake or do something wrong, I feel so much shame and I've had to work so hard on not being overly self-critical. I wonder why that is and if there's something I can do to prevent that experience in my own children. It's certainly not going to be an easy task, but I know there's more at stake in every interaction than getting the child to behave the way I want. That's my long rambling opinion, and I know not everyone will agree with me, and I can accept that!
@blonde1817 Yes, I felt deeply shamed and violated the few times I was spanked, even though it didn't really physically hurt me. My two-years-younger brother, on the other hand, didn't care at all - for him it was like getting away with something without a real punishment. My six-years-younger brother never got spanked. We all turned out "fine," we have good relationships with our parents, and I think overall no one could have better parents than we did. Still - I feel you have to be really in tune with how it affects your child.
I am really happy to see the posts from parents who have thoughtfully matched the punishments to their children. It's also nice to see various options from those of us who really don't want to spank.
I think there are different levels of spanking? I was spanked once, and I remember it hurting, but it was never as scary as being threatened/given a bar of soap to keep in my mouth for one minute. I don't think I agree with spanking, but I think once I realized what it was and had it done to me, I didn't want it to happen again. I think my parents switched over to soap actually instead of spanking.. I don't want to spank and I don't want to do soap in the mouth.
Ha ha I didn't even care about the soap! I mean, it wasn't yummy, but it wasn't bad - and my mom let me wash it out myself so I didn't have someone shoving it in my mouth or anything and choking me.
I just offended a bunch of people on my Facebook and I'm trying not to care that they got so butthurt but it's not one of my strong suits. I always end up apologizing and feeling bad for my own very strong convictions when it comes to certain things.
I posted an article about smoking with your children in the car and that even the window rolled is NOT ok. I had no clue that so many people on my FB smoke with their kids in the car and they are all pissed at me now. #sorrynotsorry What the hell is the point of having kids if you want to poison them. Go, smoke, I don't care it's your choice but it's not your kids choice and you are kind of a dick if you smoke with them in your car. Ugh I'm in such a "hate people" mood today.
@NoraAurora I'm going to and this is my first lesson to myself in doing so. My friend Don said the same to me two days ago, don't ever apologize for what you believe in.
@Piperella There was actually a whole comment debate that then occurred between people on my FB. Some don't think the government should make laws telling us what to do with our kids and I understand that it's a slippery slope for sure. I just think something has to be done about it even if it's made a law then so be it.
@Piperella There was actually a whole comment debate that then occurred between people on my FB. Some don't think the government should make laws telling us what to do with our kids and I understand that it's a slippery slope for sure. I just think something has to be done about it even if it's made a law then so be it.
I was a smoker, but I did NOT smoke in my vehicle OR home, especially with my children inside. And I have no problem judging anybody who does. That is just cruel (and disgusting). I remember my grandmother smoking in her truck when I was very young, and she refused to roll down the windows because it was raining. I was miserable and held a grudge against her for a long time because of it. I chose to be a smoker, they didn't choose to be smokers, and I will discourage them from ever trying cigarettes when they are older. At least they already know how bad smoking is and never had an issue telling mom all about the dangers of tobacco. Thanks Red Ribbon Week! Plus although I liked smoking, I hate how cigarettes smell. I don't want myself, my belongings, and definitely not my CHILDREN smelling like smoke. And finally, it is illegal in the state of Oklahoma to smoke with minors in the vehicle as well, and I am so happy that is a LAW now.
I just offended a bunch of people on my Facebook and I'm trying not to care that they got so butthurt but it's not one of my strong suits. I always end up apologizing and feeling bad for my own very strong convictions when it comes to certain things.
I posted an article about smoking with your children in the car and that even the window rolled is NOT ok. I had no clue that so many people on my FB smoke with their kids in the car and they are all pissed at me now. #sorrynotsorry What the hell is the point of having kids if you want to poison them. Go, smoke, I don't care it's your choice but it's not your kids choice and you are kind of a dick if you smoke with them in your car. Ugh I'm in such a "hate people" mood today.
Its illegal here in Texas. I'm surprised its not illegal everywhere.
@ladyshark311: don't apologize. I remember as long as I'm not being ignorant or bigoted-- my opinions usually sprout from a very rational, decent place.
@ladyshark311 it's illegal here in CA to, also surprised it's not illegal everywhere. Glad you stood your ground, I'm with you! It's not the kid's choice for people to smoke and have to be in the presence of it! Then again, I got a bunch of nonsense the other day for posting about how I'm happy they raised the age to purchase cigarettes in CA to 21.
I'm glad it's becoming a law everywhere and I'm proud of myself for not apologizing and containing to stand my ground. One person even said the following, I kid you not: It's just as dangerous if not more when you put a kid in a car and it has an exhaust on it those fumes are worse. My response was, well when we drive we don't blow the exhaust directly in our children's faces or have them sit near the exhaust and inhale do we?
@AllyTheKid I'm glad you've made that choice not to expose them to it, it's not that difficult and I can't see why people would argue it.
@primrosemama I feel the same way and I find that most often when you base your opinions off facts it's pretty difficult for people to have s valid argument, or they just argue and sound incredibly ignorant!
Well, well. I go out of town for a few days and the REAL UOs come out to play. These opinions are some of the pimary reasons why I promised myself as a teenager that I would get the hell out of conservative America.
The death penalty is not wrong because the people on death row don't "deserve" to die, but because the person who administors the death penalty just KILLED someone. Why is it OK for him to kill someone but not for someone else to kill someone? A great example is the 90-year-old man Germany recently arrested for killing a Jewish inmate when he was 18. His commanding officer told him to do it because the inmate had committed a crime under the then government's law and he did. Well the government changed and now the executioner is the criminal. Killing someone because "someone in a position of power told you to" is not a good enough reason.
Also, spanking is wrong. ALWAYS. I feel very strongly about this, especially as it is so relevant to us as mothers/soon-to-be mothers. As a lifeguard and therapeutic aid for children with ASD I have definitely restrained children who are a danger to themselves or others but I have never physically hurt them and I never will. Spanking is teaching by fear. Your spanked child does not listen to you because they learned morals or because they respect you. They listen because they are afraid. My parents spanked me, which eventually led to them dragging me by my hair (by that age it was the only thing that still hurt) and locking me in the basement. I was a saint of a child. So many of you may say it "worked". Well, I HATED my parents. I had so little respect for them and even 11 years later and one ocean away I have to WORK to feel anything for them. My mother recently suggested my husband and I take their football tickets to see a game when we visit in December and I felt bile rising up in my throat at the thought of leaving my baby alone with them. Corporal punishment is one of very few topics I will judge you for. For those of you on the edge about this, I hope you read the articles @PrimRoseMama posted and consider 1. the lack of any kind of proof that it is effective and 2. the very real chance that you end up causing permanent emotional damage.
Re: UO - 5/12
Me: 28 DH: 27
What has worked the best has been consistent rules and consequences but again, still figuring it out 6 years and 3 kids later.
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BFP #4 1/2016, DD born 10/2016
You do you, I'll do me. We can still be friends
On the subject of hair, take it all. The ability to shave is becoming more difficult and it's driving me crazy!!
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
This post is not ment to pass judgment on anyone. It's just to share our experience.
As for the pubic hair, I hate it. I don't like it on me and I don't like it on other women when I'm with them. I mean people can do whatever they want with their own bodies obviously, but to me it's gross. Back in my single days I was definitely less.... let's say enthusiastic.... when I was being intimate with a woman who didn't get rid of most of it.
I was a waxer, had my boss wax me every four weeks for years. When I quit, I started shaving. Now I can't reach and don't feel like getting waxed so it's fully grown for the first time in about 8 years and it's driving me crazy. I feel dirty. I can't even bend to shave my thighs, so from the knees up I'm a mess!
Hubby prefers clean shaven but doesn't even notice if my legs or other parts are hairy. So he hasn't complained.
I've never spanked my children and it's not just a personal choice but one I've educated myself on. My DD was insanely trying for soooo many years and there was one instance where she was around 9 or 10 where I just lost it on her and my Mom was there and thankfully stepped in. I didn't hit her but had my hands on her shoulders and it was about to escalate. She's now a beautiful albeit fiercely opinionated and stubborn 16 yo but I regret that moment to this very day. I was disgusted with myself for losing control in that moment and what would have happened had I put my hands on her?
I see this debate so often on FB and comments like "Kids nowadays need spankings" or "The kids that don't get spanked are the ones failing or causing trouble", "Kids have no respect because they don't get spanked"etc. My rebuttal to that is always that neither of my children have ever been soaked and they are straight A students, are respectful of me as well as strangers they meet, have made great choices in friends, are loving and kind. I'm not saying they are perfect, they have their flaws for sure but they know they can come and talk to me about anything because they do not fear me. They respect me and it's a mutual thing and not because I forced respect upon them with my hands. I can't imagine how our relationship would be if they messed up somehow and were afraid to tell me for fear I would spank them. I have no right to put my hands on another human being no matter if they are a child.
I debated commenting because this is something I'm so passionate about but there are just SO many studies out there which disprove spanking entirely, not to mention I can't imagine a single Pediatrician or Child Psych saying it's something you should do. I can tell you if ever there's a parental split and one parent spanks and the other doesn't, the spanking parent will be up a creek without a paddle and there is a reason for that.
I went to sleep right when this thread was getting started and clearly I missed out!
In Tanzania, physical punishment is the norm. Kids are "spanked", pinched, or hit with a thin stick. We have had to fire staff over this because we have a strict no-physical-punishment rule and they sign a contract over it. In the public schools the teachers regularly hit the misbehaving students with the stick (called Fimbo in swahili so pardon my poor translations). And in general I would say a large percentage of local kids I know are way more prone to violent acting out with their peers and otherwise.
I was in the category of I had shitty parents and so I wasn't spanked I was beat and the terror of that stuck with me for a long time. I know there is a difference but I don't believe I will spank my child. I will say I have come close to losing my temper before and needed to walk away from situations which has solidified that I will not spank my children.
And on body hair, I've gots it. I feel lucky to live in a country where no one judges body hair and in fact most love it. Which is kinda funny. I tend to keep the pubes trimmed a bit so it's not a jungle, but I only shave my legs like once a month.
I shave all my lady parts. I've deeply considered getting it all lasered off but then I worry when I'm super old I might regret it.
Instead, my child hates being restrained in any way so I just hold his arms to his sides until he gets the point. It's a weird punishment but it kinda works so yeah.
I hate pubes. They are itchy. I wish I had no hair except scalp and eyebrows/eyelashes.
i I went to European wax center and prepaid an entire years worth the second I got my bfp bc I can't be bothered trying to get everything myself.
Husband doesn't care about body hair at all. I can't even tell you the last time I shaved anything besides my armpits. I am lucky to have very light hair on my legs and don't wear shorts ever so there's no way anyone would know.
I was only spanked a few times as a child. I have no memory of what I did or learning anything from it, but I do remember feeling an immense amount of shame. Instilling shame is not the way I want to parent. I also remember my parents being angry, overwhelmed and/or frustrated when they spanked me. I know most parents use spanking as a wit's end response, but what is it really teaching the child? When you get really angry/overwhelmed/frustrated it's an appropriate response to hit someone else to get the behavior you want out of them? In my experience with toddlers and preschoolers, kids cannot differentiate between something that's okay for mom and dad to do to me, but not okay for me to do to others. Most of the time, those kids will come into school and behave aggressively to get the response they want out of others, because that's what they know.
I don't think that people who spank are bad parents. I think that most of the time we automatically fall back on parenting the way we were parented. It takes a lot of intention and awareness to change those patterns. I love my parents, and I think that they were wonderful parents. But whenever I make a mistake or do something wrong, I feel so much shame and I've had to work so hard on not being overly self-critical. I wonder why that is and if there's something I can do to prevent that experience in my own children. It's certainly not going to be an easy task, but I know there's more at stake in every interaction than getting the child to behave the way I want. That's my long rambling opinion, and I know not everyone will agree with me, and I can accept that!
It's a boy!
I am really happy to see the posts from parents who have thoughtfully matched the punishments to their children. It's also nice to see various options from those of us who really don't want to spank.
I posted an article about smoking with your children in the car and that even the window rolled is NOT ok. I had no clue that so many people on my FB smoke with their kids in the car and they are all pissed at me now. #sorrynotsorry What the hell is the point of having kids if you want to poison them. Go, smoke, I don't care it's your choice but it's not your kids choice and you are kind of a dick if you smoke with them in your car. Ugh I'm in such a "hate people" mood today.
Edited because I forgot the "in the UK"... duh!
I chose to be a smoker, they didn't choose to be smokers, and I will discourage them from ever trying cigarettes when they are older. At least they already know how bad smoking is and never had an issue telling mom all about the dangers of tobacco. Thanks Red Ribbon Week!
Plus although I liked smoking, I hate how cigarettes smell. I don't want myself, my belongings, and definitely not my CHILDREN smelling like smoke.
And finally, it is illegal in the state of Oklahoma to smoke with minors in the vehicle as well, and I am so happy that is a LAW now.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
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BFP #1: 7/15/15, SB: 11/14/15
Rainbow baby DS born 9/29/16!!
BFP #3 3/26/18 | Due 12/3/18
@AllyTheKid I'm glad you've made that choice not to expose them to it, it's not that difficult and I can't see why people would argue it.
@primrosemama I feel the same way and I find that most often when you base your opinions off facts it's pretty difficult for people to have s valid argument, or they just argue and sound incredibly ignorant!
The death penalty is not wrong because the people on death row don't "deserve" to die, but because the person who administors the death penalty just KILLED someone. Why is it OK for him to kill someone but not for someone else to kill someone? A great example is the 90-year-old man Germany recently arrested for killing a Jewish inmate when he was 18. His commanding officer told him to do it because the inmate had committed a crime under the then government's law and he did. Well the government changed and now the executioner is the criminal. Killing someone because "someone in a position of power told you to" is not a good enough reason.
Also, spanking is wrong. ALWAYS. I feel very strongly about this, especially as it is so relevant to us as mothers/soon-to-be mothers. As a lifeguard and therapeutic aid for children with ASD I have definitely restrained children who are a danger to themselves or others but I have never physically hurt them and I never will. Spanking is teaching by fear. Your spanked child does not listen to you because they learned morals or because they respect you. They listen because they are afraid. My parents spanked me, which eventually led to them dragging me by my hair (by that age it was the only thing that still hurt) and locking me in the basement. I was a saint of a child. So many of you may say it "worked". Well, I HATED my parents. I had so little respect for them and even 11 years later and one ocean away I have to WORK to feel anything for them. My mother recently suggested my husband and I take their football tickets to see a game when we visit in December and I felt bile rising up in my throat at the thought of leaving my baby alone with them. Corporal punishment is one of very few topics I will judge you for.
For those of you on the edge about this, I hope you read the articles @PrimRoseMama posted and consider 1. the lack of any kind of proof that it is effective and 2. the very real chance that you end up causing permanent emotional damage.
ETA: grammar, because emotions.
One final point which was not at all clear in my post - I am a developmental psychologist so I am actually well-informed on this topic outside of my personal experience. Here are two great overviews for those interested:
https://www.apa.org/research/action/speaking-of-psychology/disciplining-children.aspx
https://www.today.com/series/one-small-thing/how-discipline-kids-new-research-shows-what-works-t37141
DS#2 due 25 April 2019