I am a FTM as well so I also feel so guilty about how badly I want a little girl. It's always been a dream. However, I am CONVINCED this is a boy (according to the chinese calendar and because a psychic told me I was going to have a boy first haha) and I am totally okay with a boy as well. I just hope I get my girl one day!
I'm so glad I'm not the only FTM with a preference... I feel so guilty sometimes and decided to stop telling friends/family my preference...
I really wanted a girl the first time around but I am so happy I had a boy. Now I'd like to have a girl because I have the perfect name picked out but if it's a boy that's fine too since he can wear DS's clothes and we would literally not have to buy anything.
With my first I had a weak preference for a girl but DH really wanted a boy. He was kinda bummed for a few hours after the A/S ultrasound when we found out we were having a girl. Then with #2 I couldn't decide which I preferred but DH loved DD so much he hoped for a second girl. He wasn't sad that time when we found out we'd be having a son. I *thought* it was a boy so I was happy to be right.
This time I think it's a girl so I only have a slight preference in so far as I like being right. My annoyance is with people's assumption that 1 girl plus 1 boy equal perfect family since I didn't feel done after 2.
I've heard that a lot from some of my friends who have one of each. They get the "one of each. So you're done right?" And some are (because 2 was their limit regardless of gender) but some aren't. I always wanted 4. So even if I had 3 boys I would be going for a 4th.
SO really wants a boy (eventually) but also wants it to be a girl to make me happy. Honestly I want a girl to watch football with. It's my favorite thing to do with my dad and he is so adorable with little kids. Also all my friends have boys so I just feel like I need a girl in the mix. That being said, if it's a boy I will get a lot of free stuff from my friends who are done having kids!
Instead of being passive aggressive maybe you should just ask me to edit the name of the thread. But being sophomoric is easier I guess.
So to be clear @leighry, you're calling someone (I assume me) passive aggressive and sophomoric without actually quoting or tagging to clearly call that person (probably me) and engage them in conversation/debate?
When I posted the genderbread person, I'm pretty sure every post in at that point in the thread had improperly used the term "gender" when they were referring to "sex." I know a lot of people don't realize they had used the wrong term, but everything I typed trying to explain it sounded preach-y. So I just left what is, I think, one of the most helpful depection explaining the difference between those and other terms for reference.
Me: 30 DH: 32 ~~ TTC #1: Sep 2015 ~~ BFP: Mar 2016 ~~ Daughter: Nov 2016 TTC #2: April 2018 ~~ BFP: May 2018 ~~ EDD: January 2019
so if it really bothers you just ask me to change the name (if I can, I never go on these things and this was the first discussion I made). Leaving no comment with it makes it seem more passive than just saying something, especially since you didnt have anything to add as far as what the actual thread is about. That or start your own thread if you feel the need to correct how people refer to gender/sex of baby.
so if it really bothers you just ask me to change the name (if I can, I never go on these things and this was the first discussion I made). Leaving no comment with it makes it seem more passive than just saying something, especially since you didnt have anything to add as far as what the actual thread is about. That or start your own thread if you feel the need to correct how people refer to gender/sex of baby.
She was perfectly nice about it. Someone's feeling a little defensive. It's a huge issue these days and it's helpful to point out the difference between sex and gender before the next person is not so nice about it- this is something that comes up regularly around here and rightfully so. It's not off topic- you asked about gender preferences.
Frankly, I have a lot to add about what the actual thread is about but I'll keep it to myself since it's definitely not nice.
LFAF/Nov 16 challenge: Bad TV moms that shouldn't be celebrated
BFP #1 10/30/15 MMC found 11/30/15 D&C 12/11/15 EDD 7/9/16
healing comes in waves, and maybe today the wave hits the rocks and that’s ok, that’s ok, darling. you are still healing, you are still healing- Ijeoma Umebinyuo, be gentle with yourself BFP #2 3/21 EDD 11/28/16
...and I'm being perfectly nice just asking her to just request I change the name if it really bothers her. Obviously I didn't make the thread name to intentionally piss anyone off. Relax.
...and I'm being perfectly nice just asking her to just request I change the name if it really bothers her. Obviously I didn't make the thread name to intentionally piss anyone off. Relax.
You called her passive aggressive and sophomoric, that's being 'perfectly nice'?
In mass it is. But we are massholes so I guess that's just how we are. I'm not trying to get everyone all bent out of shape. So to @MrsDho11 I apologize for thinking you were in some way giving me unnecessary crap for naming the thread without the intention of making anyone upset. It's not that I am insensitive to the issue of gender/sex, and your picture wasn't what irritated me, but I guess no words with it made me question why you posted it. I guess that's the downside to the Internet. You can't tell inflection. And if I can change the name let.me know how and I will.
In mass it is. But we are massholes so I guess that's just how we are. I'm not trying to get everyone all bent out of shape. So to @MrsDho11 I apologize for thinking you were in some way giving me unnecessary crap for naming the thread without the intention of making anyone upset. It's not that I am insensitive to the issue of gender/sex, and your picture wasn't what irritated me, but I guess no words with it made me question why you posted it. I guess that's the downside to the Internet. You can't tell inflection. And if I can change the name let.me know how and I will.
1. I lived in Mass for six years. Even there, that's not nice.
2. I posted the picture to draw attention to the fact that gender and sex don't mean the same thing, and we should use the correct terminology.
3. Either you didn't know, and the picture helped, or you did know and used the wrong term anyway. That makes it either a mistake (which happens, thanks for fixing it in that case) or you being insensitive to the importance of the topic.
so if it really bothers you just ask me to change the name (if I can, I never go on these things and this was the first discussion I made). Leaving no comment with it makes it seem more passive than just saying something, especially since you didnt have anything to add as far as what the actual thread is about. That or start your own thread if you feel the need to correct how people refer to gender/sex of baby.
4. Being concise doesn't equal being passive-aggressive. The picture said everything I wanted to say.
5. When someone is talking about biological sex and calling it "gender," it is on topic to point it out. Every time.
6. I didn't say anything to "add as far as what the actual thread was about" because that wouldn't be nice. That doesn't negate point four.
7. You don't get to dictate the way people respond to your threads anyway, that's not how Internet forums work.
Me: 30 DH: 32 ~~ TTC #1: Sep 2015 ~~ BFP: Mar 2016 ~~ Daughter: Nov 2016 TTC #2: April 2018 ~~ BFP: May 2018 ~~ EDD: January 2019
Okay. I'm trying to apologize. No, I didn't post it saying "ha, I know I should write sex but I'm going to write gender and really irritate everyone." If I sat and really thought about it then maybe I would have chosen the word sex to begin with. I've corrected it, as I don't want to leave it incorrect and like I said I wasn't trying to upset anyone. So I'm sorry if you're going to stay upset over it. It wasn't my intention.
I never used this bump forum thing with my other kids. I wasn't going to with this kid but my girlfriend who is on the October board said she found it helpful. If you want to comment on what I posted about fine. I don't care if your view of how I feel is different than mine. I just figured I could post it here and maybe other people would get it.
I'm pretty sure @MrsDho11 made a point to explicitly say that every post in the thread at that point had misused the word "gender" in place of "sex". It wasn't simply an issue with the title of the thread. As another PP said, this issue is a hot topic in our society today, and it's important that we use correct terminology. I'm fairly certain that was the point of the genderbread person - not a personal attack on anyone in particular.
Understood. I didn't think she was "attacking" me.. but I guess if it were me I would have just said "hey the correct term is actually sex, if you could change the name of the thread." And I would have happily changed it. I get it. But it was a harmless mistake and everyone else was just there to comment on the topic at hand. No one was maliciously misusing terminology, myself included.
Wow this thread took a hard left. @MrsDho11 I love that pic and I totally saved it for future use, it drives me batshit when people misuse gender when they mean sex. I very specifically keep telling everyone (family/friends) we're having a SEX reveal BBQ for these babies, not a gender reveal.
@leighry not everyone is out to get you...even your apology is backhanded when you say - leighry said:
*snip*
So I'm sorry if you're going to stay upset over it. It wasn't my intention.
If that's how you want to take it. I'm trying to be sincere. I honestly was trying to apologize. I wasn't trying to be snippy. I truly meant that I am sorry and I hope she doesnt stay upset over it, but thats out of my control. If I was trying to be insincere she would know it, obviously I'm good at making waves. So please don't tell me I'm not being sincere because I am.
I think it's easy to misuse the terminology as I guess it's been mixed up for years.. it's always a gender reveal and what have you and even medical professionals misuse it. It's not to hurt anyone or because people don't care. But it happens. And so all I can do at this point is apologize, which I did, and let it go, and going forward do my best to use sex instead of gender.
ETA: I also think it's just as presumptuous and misguided to assume that these babies will be trans/queer/or gender fluid as it is to mix up "gender" and "sex". These kids aren't even born yet and people are already trying to debate their sex lives and gender identity. Smh. So if you have a girl, who identifies as a boy, does that mean you won't have to teach her how to use a tampon???
The point is that you shouldn't assume that the kids will be the same gender as their sex- still the more likely scenario, no one is assuming that anyone will have a trans kid. They basically have no gender when they're born. Your last sentence is just... I can't even. The whole point is that we should all make an attempt NOT to assume what gender they'll be.
Just thought I'd add a fun fact- there's also as many kids born intersex as there are kids that are born redheads (ETA: for those that don't know the terminology, intersex means being born without it being clear whether they're a boy or girl, might show both traits or have what looks like a very small penis or very large clitoris, something like that). So it doesn't hurt to educate ourselves on that point, either since all too many parents and providers just pick a sex in that case thinking it won't affect their kids when they get older and they'll just identify to whatever was assigned to them.
LFAF/Nov 16 challenge: Bad TV moms that shouldn't be celebrated
BFP #1 10/30/15 MMC found 11/30/15 D&C 12/11/15 EDD 7/9/16
healing comes in waves, and maybe today the wave hits the rocks and that’s ok, that’s ok, darling. you are still healing, you are still healing- Ijeoma Umebinyuo, be gentle with yourself BFP #2 3/21 EDD 11/28/16
ETA: I also think it's just as presumptuous and misguided to assume that these babies will be trans/queer/or gender fluid as it is to mix up "gender" and "sex". These kids aren't even born yet and people are already trying to debate their sex lives and gender identity. Smh. So if you have a girl, who identifies as a boy, does that mean you won't have to teach her how to use a tampon???
The point is that you shouldn't assume that the kids will be the same gender as their sex- still the more likely scenario, no one is assuming that anyone will have a trans kid. They basically have no gender when they're born. Your last sentence is just... I can't even. The whole point is that we should all make an attempt NOT to assume what gender they'll be.
Just thought I'd add a fun fact- there's also as many kids born intersex as there are kids that are born redheads. So it doesn't hurt to educate ourselves on that point, either since all too many parents and providers just pick a sex in that case thinking it won't affect their kids when they get older and they'll just identify to whatever was assigned to them.
Glad to see the intersex thing mentioned here, too, since nobody ever even considers it. There are many possibilities, and they might be unlikely, but it still doesn't mean that things from "gender" being used to mean "biological sex" to "I want the nursery to be adventure/travel/science for a boy and flowers for a girl" isn't also problematic for hetero, cisgender ppl. There are just a lot of issues with all of the assumptions made about the genders of babies and I'm glad we can discuss it all openly here. I see this conversation as an opportunity for all to learn.
ETA: I also think it's just as presumptuous and misguided to assume that these babies will be trans/queer/or gender fluid as it is to mix up "gender" and "sex". These kids aren't even born yet and people are already trying to debate their sex lives and gender identity. Smh. So if you have a girl, who identifies as a boy, does that mean you won't have to teach her how to use a tampon???
The point is that you shouldn't assume that the kids will be the same gender as their sex- still the more likely scenario, no one is assuming that anyone will have a trans kid. They basically have no gender when they're born. Your last sentence is just... I can't even. The whole point is that we should all make an attempt NOT to assume what gender they'll be.
Just thought I'd add a fun fact- there's also as many kids born intersex as there are kids that are born redheads. So it doesn't hurt to educate ourselves on that point, either since all too many parents and providers just pick a sex in that case thinking it won't affect their kids when they get older and they'll just identify to whatever was assigned to them.
Calling it "gender" instead of "sex" is definitely a faux pas but my personal opinion is that it doesnt matter what gender the baby is or will be - as you said all babies are gender-less - but it IS relevant what sex it will be because regardless of what gender it identifies with later on, the fact that parent's will have to teach their children about their "assigned" anatomy is still unavoidable. (As the original discussion was regarding whether members would prefer a male or female child).
Also, as un-politically correct as it is to misuse the word "gender", it's still commonly used instead of "sex" on job applications, documents and sometimes even by medical professionals. You can't be too upset with people when the difference between Gender and Sex is still a fairly new concept and will take a while to get used to.
Maybe i'm being hypersensitive because TLC aired a special recently where this mom was claiming her toddler, who could barely form sentences, was trans because he liked to play dress up. *facepalm*
Met DH - 9/2003
Dating - 9/18/2012
Married - 8/16/2014
NTNP - 7/2014-5/2015
TTC #1 - 5/2015 (CP October @ 4w2d)
*PCOS/Hypothyroid/Ectopic Kidney/High DHEA-S* HSG - All clear, ectopic kidney didn't affect uterus (yay!) CT Adrenal Scan - no tumors! SA - sperm count excellent, 2% Morphology March/April IUI scheduled - surprise BFP w/ help of Progesterone - 3/18/2016 Beta #1 @ 11dpo - 45.7 #2 @ 14dpo - 163 #3 @ 18dpo - 997 #4 @ 21dpo - 3799 EDD 12/1 based on O, 11/28 per Ob/Gyn (but he's wrong lol).
In mass it is. But we are massholes so I guess that's just how we are. I'm not trying to get everyone all bent out of shape. So to @MrsDho11 I apologize for thinking you were in some way giving me unnecessary crap for naming the thread without the intention of making anyone upset. It's not that I am insensitive to the issue of gender/sex, and your picture wasn't what irritated me, but I guess no words with it made me question why you posted it. I guess that's the downside to the Internet. You can't tell inflection. And if I can change the name let.me know how and I will.
Hey. We're only massholes when we're driving. The rest of the time we're perfectly friendly (if slightly profane).
ETA: I also think it's just as presumptuous and misguided to assume that these babies will be trans/queer/or gender fluid as it is to mix up "gender" and "sex". These kids aren't even born yet and people are already trying to debate their sex lives and gender identity. Smh. So if you have a girl, who identifies as a boy, does that mean you won't have to teach her how to use a tampon???
The point is that you shouldn't assume that the kids will be the same gender as their sex- still the more likely scenario, no one is assuming that anyone will have a trans kid. They basically have no gender when they're born. Your last sentence is just... I can't even. The whole point is that we should all make an attempt NOT to assume what gender they'll be.
Just thought I'd add a fun fact- there's also as many kids born intersex as there are kids that are born redheads. So it doesn't hurt to educate ourselves on that point, either since all too many parents and providers just pick a sex in that case thinking it won't affect their kids when they get older and they'll just identify to whatever was assigned to them.
Calling it "gender" instead of "sex" is definitely a faux pas but my personal opinion is that it doesnt matter what gender the baby is or will be - as you said all babies are gender-less - what's relevant is what sex it will be because regardless of what gender it identifies with later on, the fact that parent's will have to teach their children about their "assigned" anatomy is still unavoidable. (As the original discussion was regarding whether members would prefer a male or female child).
Also, as un-politically correct as it is to misuse the word "gender", it's still commonly used instead of "sex" on job applications, documents and sometimes even by medical professionals. You can't be too upset with people when the difference between Gender and Sex is still a fairly new concept and will take a while to get used to.
Maybe i'm being hypersensitive because TLC aired a special recently where this mom was claiming her toddler, who could barely form sentences, was trans because he liked to play dress up. *facepalm*
Just because things are "new" or "take a while to get used to" doesn't mean we shouldn't try our best to do it correctly. I'm not saying you're doing this, but I've seen this excuse used for misgendering trans people, etc. and it is unacceptable. I can't think of another situation in which is is considered ok to offend or be rude to someone because you are lazy. If we all teach our kids about the differences between these words from the beginning (in age appropriate ways, mostly by using terms correctly ourselves), it will never be an issue for them. But this won't happen if we give up because it is "difficult."
So the sex/gender difference really bugs me, but I've been wondering about why people hate calling them "gender reveal" parties for a while. Given how gendered the parties always are (blue or pink everything) gender almost seems like the right word for it. I mean, I know there's a chance you're "revealing" the wrong gender, since all you know for sure at that point is the sex, but since pretty much everything about those parties is about the outward expression of gender I guess that term kinda seems to fit for me. Thoughts?
In mass it is. But we are massholes so I guess that's just how we are. I'm not trying to get everyone all bent out of shape. So to @MrsDho11 I apologize for thinking you were in some way giving me unnecessary crap for naming the thread without the intention of making anyone upset. It's not that I am insensitive to the issue of gender/sex, and your picture wasn't what irritated me, but I guess no words with it made me question why you posted it. I guess that's the downside to the Internet. You can't tell inflection. And if I can change the name let.me know how and I will.
...sitting here just happy @leighry learned to tag someone so we know who she's talking to.
So the sex/gender difference really bugs me, but I've been wondering about why people hate calling them "gender reveal" parties for a while. Given how gendered the parties always are (blue or pink everything) gender almost seems like the right word for it. I mean, I know there's a chance you're "revealing" the wrong gender, since all you know for sure at that point is the sex, but since pretty much everything about those parties is about the outward expression of gender I guess that term kinda seems to fit for me. Thoughts?
Yes I think this is part of the problem, but I can't say that without people feeling attacked. I just wish we would rethink "tradition" once in awhile and really unpack things like gender reveals and "girl toys" vs "boy toys." You can still buy your daughter a cute dress (I know I will), but just be aware of what society is putting on her. Make sure you're not adding to it. In fact, make sure you are empowering her (or him) with the knowledge required to fight back when society tells them that girls are quiet and nice and boys are strong and don't cry.
I guess I'm confused. I'm not trying to be insensitive, but I feel like the thread WAS about gender, not sex. When someone wishes for a girl, or hopes they're having a boy, isn't it the experiences that go along with those genders that they're hoping for? Even if all you'll know right now is the sex, in the long run isn't the gender what will make you a boy mom or a girl mom?
I guess I'm confused. I'm not trying to be insensitive, but I feel like the thread WAS about gender, not sex. When someone wishes for a girl, or hopes they're having a boy, isn't it the experiences that go along with those genders that they're hoping for? Even if all you'll know right now is the sex, in the long run isn't the gender what will make you a boy mom or a girl mom?
I think you're right, but a load of people still used the terms wrong when talking about it.
I guess I'm confused. I'm not trying to be insensitive, but I feel like the thread WAS about gender, not sex. When someone wishes for a girl, or hopes they're having a boy, isn't it the experiences that go along with those genders that they're hoping for? Even if all you'll know right now is the sex, in the long run isn't the gender what will make you a boy mom or a girl mom?
Yes but the point is all we know is that the baby has a penis. We don't know that he will be masculine in any way. We don't know that he will like blue at all. We don't know he will date women (or anyone). We know his biological sex. And presenting biological sex as gender (or anything else) is problematic in many ways, including but not limited to those stated above. eta: words
I guess I'm confused. I'm not trying to be insensitive, but I feel like the thread WAS about gender, not sex. When someone wishes for a girl, or hopes they're having a boy, isn't it the experiences that go along with those genders that they're hoping for? Even if all you'll know right now is the sex, in the long run isn't the gender what will make you a boy mom or a girl mom?
Yes but the point is all we know is that the baby has a penis. We don't know that he will be masculine in any way. We don't know that he will like blue at all. We don't know he will date women (or anyone). We know his biological sex. And presenting biological sex as gender (or anything else) is problematic in many ways, including but not limited to those stated above. eta: words
And I don't think that's necessarily the case. I have two girls, and I'd like a boy. Not so we can play in the dirt or with trucks or whatever (my kids already do those things), and not so he can marry a girl (who knows who any of them will marry, if they will marry). I don't have a good reason to want a boy, but I do. And my 4 year old already reminds me (when we talk about finding out boy/girl in the next few months) that of course the baby will be able to decide when it's older if that's the right one.
Though we're not having a gender or sex reveal party, so maybe I'm not part of the group you are talking about.
I guess I'm confused. I'm not trying to be insensitive, but I feel like the thread WAS about gender, not sex. When someone wishes for a girl, or hopes they're having a boy, isn't it the experiences that go along with those genders that they're hoping for? Even if all you'll know right now is the sex, in the long run isn't the gender what will make you a boy mom or a girl mom?
Yes but the point is all we know is that the baby has a penis. We don't know that he will be masculine in any way. We don't know that he will like blue at all. We don't know he will date women (or anyone). We know his biological sex. And presenting biological sex as gender (or anything else) is problematic in many ways, including but not limited to those stated above. eta: words
And I don't think that's necessarily the case. I have two girls, and I'd like a boy. Not so we can play in the dirt or with trucks or whatever (my kids already do those things), and not so he can marry a girl (who knows who any of them will marry, if they will marry). I don't have a good reason to want a boy, but I do. And my 4 year old already reminds me (when we talk about finding out boy/girl in the next few months) that of course the baby will be able to decide when it's older if that's the right one.
Though we're not having a gender or sex reveal party, so maybe I'm not part of the group you are talking about.
I don't think you're the group I'm talking about. You sound like you're doing it right. And yeah we all have preferences. I do. But I think we just have to unpack them because we are constantly bombarded with this bullshit and it influences our thinking. All we can do is try to be better, and it sounds like you're doing that.
I've just always loved the idea of a son. Gay straight bisexual whatever path he ends up taking in life.. like you said @MollySm .. I never said I would push any sort of life on my kid. I would give them experiences like I have with my 3 girls and see what they like and pursue. I just was trying to say that this time around I'd love a son.
@leighry obviously you should have named it "Do you want your baby to have a penis or a vagina or both?" lol And then we can have another forum called, "Do you want your baby to identify with a girl or boy regardless of their penis or vagina?" I can already tell a "circumcision" forum is going to be interesting.
If my baby wants to identify as the other gender, that's fine. They can tell me that when they're old enough to tell me that. Until then they'll be dressed in w/e I want them to wear.
The intentions of this forum were clear. Having to point out a wording error is unnecessary IMO. But this is the internet so I guess you can post w/e you want. /TwoCents
I understand how the wording can be tricky for some people. I even get tripped up once in a while. The important thing is to actually understand it and correct yourself when you make a mistake. I'm hoping for a girl, but I don't care if she has a penis or a vagina. I have my own personal reason for wanting a girl and it has nothing to do with dressing her in tutus and having pink of everything.
AND.. This only started out as a(n important) wording correction. Nobody said pink or blue is wrong. As I said at first, this topic upsets people. You can do a sex reveal but it's not a gender reveal. We should work on distinguishing these. That is all we were trying to say.
Re: Hoping for a certain sex?
I'm so glad I'm not the only FTM with a preference... I feel so guilty sometimes and decided to stop telling friends/family my preference...
Just put an @ sign in front of their name.
This time I think it's a girl so I only have a slight preference in so far as I like being right. My annoyance is with people's assumption that 1 girl plus 1 boy equal perfect family since I didn't feel done after 2.
When I posted the genderbread person, I'm pretty sure every post in at that point in the thread had improperly used the term "gender" when they were referring to "sex." I know a lot of people don't realize they had used the wrong term, but everything I typed trying to explain it sounded preach-y. So I just left what is, I think, one of the most helpful depection explaining the difference between those and other terms for reference.
TTC #2: April 2018 ~~ BFP: May 2018 ~~ EDD: January 2019
Frankly, I have a lot to add about what the actual thread is about but I'll keep it to myself since it's definitely not nice.
BFP #2 3/21 EDD 11/28/16
2. I posted the picture to draw attention to the fact that gender and sex don't mean the same thing, and we should use the correct terminology.
3. Either you didn't know, and the picture helped, or you did know and used the wrong term anyway. That makes it either a mistake (which happens, thanks for fixing it in that case) or you being insensitive to the importance of the topic.
4. Being concise doesn't equal being passive-aggressive. The picture said everything I wanted to say.
5. When someone is talking about biological sex and calling it "gender," it is on topic to point it out. Every time.
6. I didn't say anything to "add as far as what the actual thread was about" because that wouldn't be nice. That doesn't negate point four.
7. You don't get to dictate the way people respond to your threads anyway, that's not how Internet forums work.
TTC #2: April 2018 ~~ BFP: May 2018 ~~ EDD: January 2019
I never used this bump forum thing with my other kids. I wasn't going to with this kid but my girlfriend who is on the October board said she found it helpful. If you want to comment on what I posted about fine. I don't care if your view of how I feel is different than mine. I just figured I could post it here and maybe other people would get it.
@leighry not everyone is out to get you...even your apology is backhanded when you say -
leighry said:
*snip*
So I'm sorry if you're going to stay upset over it. It wasn't my intention.
*snip*
Still a bit passive aggressive to be honest.
Just thought I'd add a fun fact- there's also as many kids born intersex as there are kids that are born redheads (ETA: for those that don't know the terminology, intersex means being born without it being clear whether they're a boy or girl, might show both traits or have what looks like a very small penis or very large clitoris, something like that). So it doesn't hurt to educate ourselves on that point, either since all too many parents and providers just pick a sex in that case thinking it won't affect their kids when they get older and they'll just identify to whatever was assigned to them.
BFP #2 3/21 EDD 11/28/16
There are many possibilities, and they might be unlikely, but it still doesn't mean that things from "gender" being used to mean "biological sex" to "I want the nursery to be adventure/travel/science for a boy and flowers for a girl" isn't also problematic for hetero, cisgender ppl. There are just a lot of issues with all of the assumptions made about the genders of babies and I'm glad we can discuss it all openly here. I see this conversation as an opportunity for all to learn.
Also, as un-politically correct as it is to misuse the word "gender", it's still commonly used instead of "sex" on job applications, documents and sometimes even by medical professionals. You can't be too upset with people when the difference between Gender and Sex is still a fairly new concept and will take a while to get used to.
Maybe i'm being hypersensitive because TLC aired a special recently where this mom was claiming her toddler, who could barely form sentences, was trans because he liked to play dress up. *facepalm*
HSG - All clear, ectopic kidney didn't affect uterus (yay!)
CT Adrenal Scan - no tumors!
SA - sperm count excellent, 2% Morphology
March/April IUI scheduled - surprise BFP w/ help of Progesterone - 3/18/2016
Beta #1 @ 11dpo - 45.7 #2 @ 14dpo - 163 #3 @ 18dpo - 997 #4 @ 21dpo - 3799
EDD 12/1 based on O, 11/28 per Ob/Gyn (but he's wrong lol).
*TEAM BLUE!*
If we all teach our kids about the differences between these words from the beginning (in age appropriate ways, mostly by using terms correctly ourselves), it will never be an issue for them. But this won't happen if we give up because it is "difficult."
HSG - All clear, ectopic kidney didn't affect uterus (yay!)
CT Adrenal Scan - no tumors!
SA - sperm count excellent, 2% Morphology
March/April IUI scheduled - surprise BFP w/ help of Progesterone - 3/18/2016
Beta #1 @ 11dpo - 45.7 #2 @ 14dpo - 163 #3 @ 18dpo - 997 #4 @ 21dpo - 3799
EDD 12/1 based on O, 11/28 per Ob/Gyn (but he's wrong lol).
*TEAM BLUE!*
eta: words
Though we're not having a gender or sex reveal party, so maybe I'm not part of the group you are talking about.
BFP 3.8.16 EDD 11.20.16
If my baby wants to identify as the other gender, that's fine. They can tell me that when they're old enough to tell me that. Until then they'll be dressed in w/e I want them to wear.
The intentions of this forum were clear. Having to point out a wording error is unnecessary IMO. But this is the internet so I guess you can post w/e you want. /TwoCents
I'm hoping for a girl, but I don't care if she has a penis or a vagina. I have my own personal reason for wanting a girl and it has nothing to do with dressing her in tutus and having pink of everything.
ETA cause forming sentences sucks