Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
nowakjamie6
member
Re: Genetic carrier blood test
Learn patience now, it will save you a lot of stress in the future.
Also sex=/= gender.
Is it frustrating to have to wait until 20 weeks for the anatomy scan to learn the sex of your baby (fyi its technically sex, not gender)? Sure, but at 33 weeks, I've found the wait between 20 and 40 weeks to be much tougher because I just want her to be here already and there's absolutely nothing I can do to make her come any faster.
If you've got the spare $$ to throw away, then go for the test but to me, it wouldn't be worth it at all.
Ticker/Siggy Warning: Children and losses mentioned
TTC #1 since 7/2011
ME: 37 DH: 38
SA-12/28/11-normal
HSG-1/16/12-possible blocked left tube
BFP#1---CP 7/9/12
Hysteroscopy-8/9/12-blocked left tube for sure, proceeding with IUI#1
IUI#1 (Gonal-F + trigger)=BFP#2 m/c @ 19w1d D&E 1/23/13
IUI #2 (Gonal F + trigger)=BFP#3 EDD 1/6/14 TWINS!!!
Identical girls born 11/17/13
BFP#4 EDD 8/27/15 MMC at 7w6d
BFP#5 m/c at 6w
BFP#6 EDD 10/5/16 Going Strong! It's a Girl!
HSG - All clear, ectopic kidney didn't affect uterus (yay!)
CT Adrenal Scan - no tumors!
SA - sperm count excellent, 2% Morphology
March/April IUI scheduled - surprise BFP w/ help of Progesterone - 3/18/2016
Beta #1 @ 11dpo - 45.7 #2 @ 14dpo - 163 #3 @ 18dpo - 997 #4 @ 21dpo - 3799
EDD 12/1 based on O, 11/28 per Ob/Gyn (but he's wrong lol).
*TEAM BLUE!*
For a cheaper option, why not do one of those boutique elective ultrasound places?
Unable to wait 2-4 weeks to know if my child has a penis or vagina is not anxiety but impatiences.
As for why I care. It is reasons like this that 1) drive up the wait time for people who need this test for real reasons. 2) It drives up the cost of health care. It is the same thing when people go to the ER for none emergency reasons.
Again, I'm not high risk either. The test was simply offered to me as its offered to everyone at my doctor's office, high risk or not, and I took it. By what you're saying, myself and every other person who's taken the test that didn't really "need it" are also supposedly responsible for driving up wait times and cost of health care. How about you mind your own buisness? Telling other women what they should and shouldn't do and shaming them just because you disagree with what tests they want to take and how they spend their money is childish.
Secondly, everyone gets excited about finding out the SEX. Gender comes later on in life when your child decides what they identify as. And nobody said its wrong to want to find out. The point was why risk your pregnancy with something invasive such as an amniocentesis when you can wait 5 weeks more to find out the sex?
Also, the original poster ASKED our opinions on if its worth it. Its a public forum where nobody gets to dictate how others answer questions, yourself included since you didn't ask the question. You are lucky that whatever test YOU received was that cheap. Not every medical office does, let alone our insurance companies. Mine only covered about 45% of the total cost. I was offered it, declined after finding out the price I'd pay for it. The only reason I thought about having it done was because I am adopted and have zero medical history on my biological family.
Personally, I'd suggest you climb down off your high horse, reread the TOU and play nice. Nobody said anything remotely snarky to warrant the responses you gave.
I could have sworn we were on a pregnancy forum, not a transgender debate forum, so aside from the fact that this is not a proven fact, is entirely debatable, and not something everyone believes, hot damn if my point didn't sail completely over your head with this one.
"The point was why risk your pregnancy with something invasive such as an amniocentesis when you can wait 5 weeks more to find out the sex?"
No, the point is she was asking how much a specific genetic test runs for that will not only screen her baby for genetic defects, but also determine the gender of her baby, and weather or not it was worth it to wait, and she gets flooded by a bunch of overly opinionated chicks telling her how terrible she is for considering the test for reasons other than being high risk. You're right, you do have a right to your opinion, and on public forums no one gets to dictate your answers. But in turn, you open yourself up to other people's opinions of your opinions. Yes, people WERE being snarky and rude, your self included. So I would suggest checking yourself before telling me to get off my high horse and play nice.
Hi, I'm Rcloud! Nice to meet you! ;D
TB has snark. You have it too. I like your snark. You will do great things here. Go forth and find your BMB.
For every person who chooses to get the test done to know what reproductive bits their baby is rocking, that's one spot taken from someone who has multiple soft markers on an NT scan or a weird quadscreen or is just older and at higher risk of genetic issues. That's one more spot those women need to wait to know if their baby is healthy or will face life-long problems. With a 1-2 week wait as it is, each hour can be excruciating to wait for results back, all because you just had to know if you were having a boy or girl and couldn't wait until your anatomy scan. Selfish, no?
because unfortunately that happens to a lot of people and that is the reality of WHY the test was created. yes, the sex of the baby is a nice bonus but the majority of people get this test because of their desire for a healthy baby, whatever the sex may be.
the test didn't work for me, twice. do you know how scary that is? thank god she is perfect. also wanna know how I found out the sex before my anatomy scan? I paid money to a boutique ultrasound place, which is how you SHOULD learn the sex.
I'm not sure what exactly your point is. For one thing, if there's a serious genetic ilIness going on thats life or death, than thats going to be how it is regardless if someone gets tested or not. I would certainly hope most parents would want to know if there was something seriously wrong with their baby, and obviously at the end of the day, that matters way more than finding out the gender. THATS what I got genetic testing for, because despite not having any reason to believe otherwise, I wanted to make sure my baby was healthy, and if he wasn't, that I was prepared to deal with the worst rather than having it be some huge surprise. I also paid money for a private ultra sound to reveal the gender, weeks before getting the genetic testing done, because I was simply unaware the testing I was getting done would reveal gender as well. So you can stop making assumptions about what my purposes were in getting it done. And even if I had gotten genetic testing because I wanted to know my child's gender...
I honestly don't know why you guys give a crap about what another parent chooses to do for themselves, their baby, or what they feel is worth it to spend money on. You're not them, and its not your decision, so stop with the parent shaming BS. Fact is, the test exists for the public, and is available to anyone and everyone who wants to have it done, as it should be. Just because its more expensive in some area than others doesn't change this fact. And honestly, I have a pretty good feeling thats really what this is really about. Jealousy that some people can drop that much money on something just to reveal the gender of their baby. I think the whole concern about wasting healthcare resources is huge load and just a way to justify being a giant prick to other mothers.
You all have a lot of growing up to do.
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