So I woke up this morning to bright red blood. Not a ton of it. No clots. And no cramping. But period-looking blood. We're on vacation in Maine right now, so we called our OB's emergency line for advice. They said it could be any number of things but that if we wanted more of a definitive answer as to what is going on, we should go to the ER for an ultrasound.
We went to the ER, and they took urine and blood samples. In the ultrasound they found a heartbeat of about 120 bpm, which is low but reasonable for this early in the game, as it's supposed to speed up from this point forward. The tech had a lot of trouble measuring the baby though. She said it was in a weird position (my uterus is also tipped, so who knows if that makes it harder), and she wasn't totally sure how to get an accurate measurement. We did belly and transvaginal ultrasounds. She had to send the photos to a radiologist physician offsite, and he would call the ER doctor.
When the doctor came back in, she said that my cervix was closed and my HCG was at the right level. However, the baby "does not look like it should at this point." She said they think it's an early miscarriage. They can't find any other causes of bleeding - no SH, no infections, etc. She continued to emphasize that the cervix is closed, so they can't be sure. But then she would re-emphasize that the baby probably isn't developing appropriately.
So now I'm just more secured in my limbo status, though I'm probably on the negative side of the limbo. And I'm finding myself wavering emotionally between 1) well if it's a chromosomal abnormality, there's nothing I could have done to prevent it...this is just what is meant to be, 2) those ER people don't specialize in ultrasounds, maybe the kid was just scrunched up and everything is fine, 3) seeing the heartbeat makes it so much sadder for me. To add insult onto injury, my symptoms are as bad as they've ever been. I'm so nauseous; acne sucks; and the fatigue. It's just like...if I'm going to have to go through this loss, why can't I do it without other pregnancy symptoms? And I wish I wasn't on vacation while going through this. We're staying with friends, who have been great about it, but I really just want to be at home alone where I can cry in peace.
*********************************************************
UPDATE!!! The ER doctors in Maine are complete morons. So our OB was amazing - they worked us in first thing this morning. We saw little baby blob again, and it has a heartbeat of 123. Measuring just three days short of my estimate based on ovulation, which is perfectly normal. They did find a subchorionic hemorrhage, which has been causing the bleeding. They're doing lab work to test my progesterone to see if I need supplements, but he said that most of these will resolve their own. We have another ultrasound in two weeks to check on the progress.
So let's talk about the complete idiocy of the ER doctors. They told me the baby "wasn't where it needs to be developmentally". The OB said that all you can check for at this point is cardiac function - which is what I had thought - that we can't really see any anatomy yet. He said, "I won't even tell you all of the crazy things they said in their message to me, but they claimed that the baby's heart was on the outside of its body." This would be a one in a million odds unicorn of a pregnancy, and he said you CAN'T SEE THAT if it were the case until around 12 weeks. He was baffled that they seemed to so confident in their analysis of the situation. They also DIDN'T SEE the subchorionic hemorrhage, which was so evident on the screen that I thought it was the baby at first.
I have never been so relieved at medical error in my life, and I am furious at the ER clinicians, particularly since we have a boatload of bills for completely unhelpful service coming our way. It baffles me that they would confidently tell me I'm having a probable miscarriage based on a super rare diagnosis that can't be made at 7 weeks made by a radiologist who wasn't even onsite for the ultrasound - he reviewed pictures via email. If this baby makes it to term, I plan on sending them a picture of my "probable early miscarriage" with a note that says FUCK YOU <please excuse my hormones...my baby has a temper>. In the meantime, I'm going to have our OB draft a letter on their misdiagnosis and the unnecessary stress it caused, and I will be angrily contesting any charges we may have based on their medical incompetency. But however that turns out, I'm just SO relieved to have a happy ending and a healthy baby!
December '16 BMB
Baby #1
~BFP 03/22/14 EDD 12/05/14~
~Baby Z born 11/28/14~
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
SaveSaveSaveSave
Re: Not so good news... **UPDATED**
DD born 7.27.2014
BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
Sending so many positive T&Ps and sticky vibes your way.
When do you head back home?
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
SaveSaveSaveSave
Me:27 H:30
Till death do us part: 7.2.2011
Trying to conceive since 01.2014
Low AFC and azoospermia
IVF #1 03.2016 - BFP 03.28.2016
Due: 12.05.2016
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
SaveSaveSaveSave
My Wedding Bio!
Sorry for my venting. This also really annoys me because this kind of thinking makes me feel like maybe there's hope when honestly it doesn't look very good. I hate wavering between grief and hope.
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
SaveSaveSaveSave
I'm sorry you were treated I'm such a callous and worrying way. I hope your regular doctor will give you peace of mind and give you good news. I would be hopeful too, but I can understand how traumatic being treated that way would be extremely distressing.
More and more good vibes being sent your way. Again, I'm sorry.
DD born 7.27.2014
BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
SaveSaveSaveSave
TTC since June 2015
September Football Siggy
DH: 36⎹ Me: 36
BFP#1 & MC:August 2015 BFP: #2 10/01/2015 MC: 10/09/2015 BFP #3: 12/22/2015 @ 5 weeks MC/CP: 12-23-2015
Fertility Appointment: Feb 23/16, Hysteroscopy 03/02/2016,
BFP #4: 03/31/16 EDD 12/01/2016
DS: 12/20/16
EDD: 11/29/18
BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks;
BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016
TTC Since: November 2015
BFP: March 31, 2016
DS: November 21, 2016
BFP #1: 8/23/2015 M/C: 9/24/2015
BFP# 2: 4/15/2016 M/C: 5/13/2016 Cervical Ectopic Pregnancy
5/13/2016 Methotrexate Shot #1
5/15/2016 Methotrexate Shot #2
5/17/2016 Methotrexate Shot #3