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November 2016 Moms
ficbot
member
Ask your really dumb questions here :-)
ficbot
member
I can't be the only pregnancy newbie with really dumb questions :-) So, I am going to ask a few with no shame :-) And I invite anyone else who has a maybe-dumb question to ask...
1) So apparently you aren't supposed to put them in a car seat with a snowsuit on? But baby is coming in November, in Canada, so...what do they wear in the car seat then?
2) On a related note, given how fast babies grow and since it is due right at the start of winter, will one snowsuit last me the whole winter? Or do I need to buy two baby snowsuits?
3) I have no idea what a 'swaddle blanket' is and why the Internet seems to think I need 15 of them?
4) How many outfits should the baby realistically have? I am assuming that unless we are going out somewhere around people, it probably will wear the footie sleepers most of the time? So, how many of those will it realistically go through in a week?
5) Where do you usually put the baby if you are going to the bathroom, making food, answering the phone etc? On a blanket? One of those little bouncy chairs? Somewhere else?
6) We live in a not-giant apartment that is on one level. Do we really need a baby monitor?
Phew! Glad to get those off my chest :-) Anyone else?
1) So apparently you aren't supposed to put them in a car seat with a snowsuit on? But baby is coming in November, in Canada, so...what do they wear in the car seat then?
2) On a related note, given how fast babies grow and since it is due right at the start of winter, will one snowsuit last me the whole winter? Or do I need to buy two baby snowsuits?
3) I have no idea what a 'swaddle blanket' is and why the Internet seems to think I need 15 of them?
4) How many outfits should the baby realistically have? I am assuming that unless we are going out somewhere around people, it probably will wear the footie sleepers most of the time? So, how many of those will it realistically go through in a week?
5) Where do you usually put the baby if you are going to the bathroom, making food, answering the phone etc? On a blanket? One of those little bouncy chairs? Somewhere else?
6) We live in a not-giant apartment that is on one level. Do we really need a baby monitor?
Phew! Glad to get those off my chest :-) Anyone else?
Re: Ask your really dumb questions here :-)
Also, do you ever get to wear makeup once you have a baby? Is there time for that? Should I chop off my hair? It's past boob length now, and I usually spend 30 minutes blow drying it right now every time I have to wash it. Is it irrational to keep my long hair?
Yay for dumb questions!
As as far as where to put the babe when you aren't holding them... We had a rock n play that DS basically lived in for the first 5 months. They hardly take up any space so they're good for small houses/rooms, he even slept in it at night until 4.5 months.
You our don't need that many blankets. We personally used the Velcro swaddle me blankets because I can't wrap a baby in a swaddle blanket to save my soul. But those are awesome and you can't mess it up.
Does a newborn really need a snow suit? I guess it depends where you live. But I don't plan on being outside in the snow with a newborn unless it's going to/from somewhere. It's easy enough to bundle them up with blankets in their car seats for walks etc.
you our probably won't have a ton of time to do your hair; let alone shower as often as you would like. I kept my long hair and just had it up in a ponytail or bun for awhile but do what works for you. Hope that helps! I like this thread!
1) snowsuit in car seats: it's considered a safety issue to have anything beyond regular clothing on your baby while strapped into the car seat. But while in the infant seat you can have the thicker fleece one piece on your baby, just not a puffy jacket or puffy snowsuit. It's inconvenient for sure to have to take off additional layers in the car, but if you start your car 5-10 minutes before you get into it then the cold won't be an issue. There's also things that are like blankets that can go over the infant carrier - some brands aren't considered safe because they interfere with the tightness of the harness - so you'll have to do research on which ones are good.
3) swaddles: babies are used to sleeping constricted inside you, and can startle themselves if their arms and legs are free to move about. The hospital will teach you how to swaddle (aka wrap the baby like a burrito). I gave up on learning how to swaddle with a blanket once I discovered the miracle of Swaddlemes - which are easy to use swaddles with Velcro or buttons. Babies usually outgrow the startle reflex and don't have to be swaddled anymore after a few months.
4) more clothes than you'd think! Newborns produce an amazing amount of runny poop and spitup. Your best bet in the beginning is those footie sleepers and onesies with a swaddle over them.
5) you can put a baby in a swing, mamaroo, bouncer, rock n play, pack n play, pretty much anything that's comfortable for them to lay in.
and @MissAmeliaPond, for hair, keep it ponytail length or short enough to not need a ponytail! I spent the first 6 months with my hair in a bun. You'd be surprised how strong an infant's grip can be.
Hope I was a little bit helpful!!
My kids lived in sleepers for most of their first 6-12 months. You really only need a couple outfits, but you'll want lots of sleepers. Because we lived in fairly draughty places when they were tiny, we'd usually have a onesie on under the sleepers. We usually had at least a dozen each of sleepers and onesies for when they were really tiny because they WILL have blow outs and leaks and you will sometimes go through up to 5+ a day if you get a little poop machine.
Some babies like to be swaddled (and a swaddle blanket is a blanket designed specifically to make this easier) but some HATE it. I just had very large, flannel squares that someone sewed up for me when I had my first (it was just cut flannel squares, probably 40"x40", with the edges sewn over) and that was just fine. The little flannel baby blankets that are all of 24" square were completely useless for swaddling my long-limbed kids.
For putting baby down when I needed a second, we have a little rocking chair thingy, or I'd use the bassinet or swing. Whatever was closest.
I didn't use baby monitors with either of my kids because we lived in smaller places.
Son, K, 9 | Daughter, C, 5 | Daughter, M, expected November 7, 2016
1) So apparently you aren't supposed to put them in a car seat with a snowsuit on? But baby is coming in November, in Canada, so...what do they wear in the car seat then?
Nope. there is something called a bundle me. look it up. Some say its also no good for the carseat but we used it. If you're not comfortable, you just blanket them up real good before you get in the car. You can cover the carseat with the rain guard to shield from the wind. Get a snap and go or the like which is a little cart that you snap the carseat into to go to a from the car.
2) On a related note, given how fast babies grow and since it is due right at the start of winter, will one snowsuit last me the whole winter? Or do I need to buy two baby snowsuits?
I had to buy two.
3) I have no idea what a 'swaddle blanket' is and why the Internet seems to think I need 15 of them?
A swaddle blanket is a breathable thin blanket that is used to wrap the baby up like a burrito. New borns have a startle reflex and many wont sleep unless they are wrapped up real tight. They will show you how to do it in the hospital. I prefer swaddle blankets with velcro. They minimize the SIDS risk because they are harder to undo and they don't move up around baby's face inadvertently. The AA ones are really nice too but no velcro. But you can use them as burp clothes, stroller covers, light blankets in summer, etc.
4) How many outfits should the baby realistically have? I am assuming that unless we are going out somewhere around people, it probably will wear the footie sleepers most of the time? So, how many of those will it realistically go through in a week?
It really depends on how much laundry you want to do. They have A LOT of leaky diapers the first fews months. You will change their clothes more than you anticipate. Especially in the middle of the night. Sleep sacks are better for night time. Much easier and faster for diaper changes. The new born set is called a layette. There are tons of internet layette lists. check them out.
5) Where do you usually put the baby if you are going to the bathroom, making food, answering the phone etc? On a blanket? One of those little bouncy chairs? Somewhere else?
Baby carrier or bouncer. You will find it a challenge to put the baby down. At some point you will take a dump while nursing or holding your baby. I promise.
6) We live in a not-giant apartment that is on one level. Do we really need a baby monitor?
Not at first, but yes. We live in the same kind of situation. I don't ever use the noise. But, the video and temp features on ours are essential. I completely determine whether my baby needs me in the middle of the night or after naps based on his body language in the crib. Babies make lots of noise while they sleep and not every sound is a cry for you to go in. The video helps me decide when is the right time. Also, our apartment is weirdly hot and never cools down so the temp thing has been helpful for us. Baby should be sleeping in cool temps.
Some of my own questions:
How do you manage two kids of differing ages bed times? Like where does LO go when I put DS to bed at 7:30?LO will still be up as a infant then.
Same question but for bath?
How do I follow DS on the playground the make sure he is safe and have LO with me at the same time?
How do you manage the sleep depravation of the first fews months with a Toddler?
2. I waited until DD was born to buy a snowsuit because I wasn't sure what size I'd need. Then I got a 3month one which was a little big at the beginning, and a little small at the end, but it worked.
3. Swaddle blankets are light blankets that you use for everything. You can swaddle baby with them (obviously) or use them as spitup cloths, or light blankets. They're awesome.
4. It depends on how often you want to do laundry. When DD was a newborn she got through 3-4 outfits a day, either bc her diaper leaked and she needed a change or bc she spit up all over herself. Buy multipacks of onesies, some pants, and footie pajamas. If you're having a baby shower don't buy any baby clothes until afterward, because you'll probably get a boatload of nb sized stuff and you'll need 3 months before you can spit.
5. Rock n play or a bassinet, so you can tote them around the house with you as needed. You can also baby wear, which is a lovely solution.
6. A video monitor is a great thing even if you can easily hear baby. When they get a little older it can save you a lot of headaches to be able to see if they're lying down and asleep or sitting up and likely to see you and wake up if you sneak into their room. Your call though.
These are just my answers though. There are lots of solutions to all these things, and you'll likely find which things work for you and which you don't like as you go.
Honestly, I bathed them together once my daughter was about 6 months old, until my son was ready to have me out of the room at about 4.5 (when my daughter was nearly 1) and so I'd read to her while he bathed, and then I'd bathe her and then read to them together.
My daughter lived in the sling for the first 12 months, so I was always able to respond quickly if my son needed me (he has autism and needed intervention more than most kids would.) Then once she could walk, she spent the next two years following her brother everywhere. Where we're from, parents don't really follow their kids around on the playground, though, so that wasn't really a big concern for me. You just kind of let them loose and stay in the general vicinity and all the parents supervise all the kids.
The sleep deprivation was handled by shifts. My husband would let me sleep when he got home from work. I'd handle the night feeds and whatnot (unless he was off the next day then he'd get up to soothe her and let me sleep as much as possible, but I was breastfeeding so I still had to handle the ffeeds at least somewhat.)
Ultimately, you just get on with it. It wasn't really that difficult. You figure out what works for you pretty quickly.
Son, K, 9 | Daughter, C, 5 | Daughter, M, expected November 7, 2016
My dumb question...what are the reasons NOT to breastfeed? People seem to tread lightly around this subject. My best friend sent me a book in breadtfeeding and then apologized saying it's totally ok if you don't! In my mind everyone would want to breastfeed. I know that's not true, just wondering what are the reasons a FTM would decide before birth not to breastfeed?
Also,bus it a good idea to buy newborn sizes? What if you have a big baby?
And how do non-bumping people learn all this!!!!
Haha didn't see yours! We must've been typing at the same time. I'm a slow typer so I find by the time I'm done responding there are a whole slew of new things and my post is now irrelevant
Son, K, 9 | Daughter, C, 5 | Daughter, M, expected November 7, 2016
I'm going to try harder at breast feeding this time though. I later learned 3am feedings are a lot worse with formula, because you have to wake up all the way and go make a bottle instead of just whipping out a boob while lying in bed.
I would be be more than happy to share further, I just don't want to take over this thread. I think people tend to tread lightly around the topic because it is such a hot-button issue. Talk about starting mommy-wars, lol. Your friend sounds like she was just wanting to tell you that she totes supports you either way. A lot of people are judged as bad mommies for not breast-feeding, and also vice versa.
You can drink if you don't BF! It can be less stressful because you can have someone else feed the baby if you need a break. You don't have to worry about what you're eating effecting the baby. You don't have to worry about milk leakage or sore breasts/nipples. You can go on birth control right away without it effecting feeding the baby. You won't have to stress about how much milk you are producing. Honestly its a personal choice that no one can make for you. Just do what is best for you and your baby. Team Feed the Baby!
Really, your doctor *should* but many of them don't know. That's why you get a million pamphlets when you have a baby.
There are plenty of reasons women may not choose to breastfeed. For one, they may honestly have an aversion to it - the idea squicks them out so much that they just can't bring themselves to do it. Or they know they have a breast malformation that will make it difficult or impossible to actually breastfeed successfully, or they are on a medication - or want to return as soon as possible after delivery - that is contraindicated while breastfeeding. There are medical conditions which make breastfeeding less advisable or contraindicated. Also, frankly, it hurts. It's hard to get started with breastfeeding, it is incredibly limiting in some ways, and some women know right off the bat they don't want that for themselves. (And I say this as someone who breastfed each kid for over two years, and never gave a drop of formula.)
In the developed world, where we have access to preventive health care including vaccination, clean water, and a generally high standard of living, the benefits of breastfeeding at the individual level are fairly minor and are *vastly* outweighed by the effects of family socioeconomic status and lifestyle choices. Breastfeeding has benefits, absolutely, but there are many factors in your baby's life that matter a ton more than whether or not he or she is breastfed. Lots of women weigh the costs versus the benefits and just decide it's not for them. And that's okay! It's your body, it's your choice!
Son, K, 9 | Daughter, C, 5 | Daughter, M, expected November 7, 2016
Psa to all new moms - if you're not digging it - quit!! There's no shame! Formula is kinda awesome! If you're happy breastfeeding, rock on!
Breastmilk production is positive feedback. The more milk released from the breasts, the more you'll produce (basically...) That's why women can produce enough to feed multiples; your body cranks up production to compensate (but this is an imperfect process which is why supply issues are so common!)
Breastmilk storage guidelines from the CDC .
Son, K, 9 | Daughter, C, 5 | Daughter, M, expected November 7, 2016
1) So apparently you aren't supposed to put them in a car seat with a snowsuit on? But baby is coming in November, in Canada, so...what do they wear in the car seat then? - diaper shirt & footie sleeper (or similar), pop them in the car seat and cover them super well with a warm blanket (don't forget a hat). Thick clothing under car seat straps can be disasterous in an accident as they create wiggle room in the straps so when significant force is applied, baby can shift or be ejected from the seat. Bucket seats are good for this since you can get them loaded and snuggled up before even leaving the house. There should be nothing between baby and the car seat (no car seat blankets) and nothing between baby and the straps except for a normal outfit.
2) On a related note, given how fast babies grow and since it is due right at the start of winter, will one snowsuit last me the whole winter? Or do I need to buy two baby snowsuits? - Honestly I doubt you'll get a ton of use out of one since they'll spend most of their time in the stroller or car seat at the newborn stage. I'd put it on the "decide after baby is here" list.
3) I have no idea what a 'swaddle blanket' is and why the Internet seems to think I need 15 of them? - Most babies love to be swaddled pretty tightly for the first few months. Aden + Anais muslin swaddles are super popular because they're lightweight (great for layering) and big! Some people like the Magic Swaddle (or similar) because they have Houdini babies or they don't want to fight with yards of fabric in the middle of the night. I think 15 is excessive; I have 7-8 A+A swaddle blankets on my list because they're multipurpose (nursing cover, car seat cover...)
4) How many outfits should the baby realistically have? I am assuming that unless we are going out somewhere around people, it probably will wear the footie sleepers most of the time? So, how many of those will it realistically go through in a week? - Obviously at least one per day...two or more may be necessary depending on how often your baby has blowout diapers (and your tolerance for spit up on an outfit). When they're tiny, the pretty much live in onsies, even in public. They're babies, they hate being changed and they have giant bobble heads that are annoying to get into and out of fancy outfits. Plus it always seems that as soon as you put them in something cute and fancy they spit up everywhere or have a blow out. I'd say go for 14 at least, more or less depending on how often you want to do laundry.
5) Where do you usually put the baby if you are going to the bathroom, making food, answering the phone etc? On a blanket? One of those little bouncy chairs? Somewhere else? - yup, bouncer seat, baby carrier, pack n' play...anywhere safe
6) We live in a not-giant apartment that is on one level. Do we really need a baby monitor? - probably not, if you don't want one. I'm in a small-ish house and probably don't need one, but I like the idea of a video monitor so I can see if they are actually distressed or just fussing and will settle on their own. Bonus that many have a two way talk feature so if they just need a little shushing to settle, I don't have to get out of bed!
@missameliapond
I think makeup and hair are a personal choice. Even now, the most makeup I wear is a bit of eyeliner and mascara which won't be hard to keep up with babies (especially since I'm 100% okay going out in public with no makeup). I'm in the process of growing my hair out again...I hate it short, but again I'm not a girly girl and I'm totally cool with either washing my hair less often or letting it air dry.
@Thewizardofrhythm
How do you manage two kids of differing ages bed times? Like where does LO go when I put DS to bed at 7:30?LO will still be up as a infant then. - I'd just pop LO in a pack n play or something while you do your bedtime routine with DS. Or put LO in a carrier!
Same question but for bath? - ditto to above. A bouncer on the floor next to the tub would probably work too.
How do I follow DS on the playground the make sure he is safe and have LO with me at the same time? - Baby carrier would probably be easiest. You'll have both hands free and the ability to be mobile.
How do you manage the sleep depravation of the first fews months with a Toddler? - a lot of coffee? Honest,y I have no actual clue, but I've been told (since we're having twins) sleep deprivation will be bad and othe MoMs have told me - Ask for help. Someone wants to visit baby? Sure, fold this laundry while you're here would you? Or, make DS a sandwich for lunch, and would you mind unloading the dishwasher for me? My Roomba will be doing the only vacuuming in my house after the babies get here, and the dust is gonna build up because I will so be napping every chance I get!
@justpeachier13
What are the reasons NOT to breastfeed? People seem to tread lightly around this subject. My best friend sent me a book in breadtfeeding and then apologized saying it's totally ok if you don't! In my mind everyone would want to breastfeed. I know that's not true, just wondering what are the reasons a FTM would decide before birth not to breastfeed? - Not really sure on this one. I know many women have issues with their breasts being touched and would prefer not to BF for that reason. Others may be very modest and find it embarrassing to BF for one reason or another. Others may have been taught that formula is better for whatever reason, or believe that FF babies will sleep better and longer. I think you'd get a pretty wide range of answers if you asked FF moms why they chose their method of feeding. In the end, it really doesn't matter as long as baby has food in his or her tummy!
Also,bus it a good idea to buy newborn sizes? What if you have a big baby? - Have some on hand, but only open and wash a couple in NB and a couple in 3m. That way you can exchange the NB ones if you get a chunker
@srose109
When you're loading a toddler and a newborn into a car by yourself, what's the safest way to go about it (assuming your toddler can't be counted on to stand where you ask her to and stay there)? - Depends on how you're shopping with them. If you have one of the carts that a bucket seat can snap onto (PSA - most carts are NOT meant to have a bucket seat on them, even if it seems like it fits), then you could do it in either order. I'd probably do NB first since it takes two seconds to snap the bucket seat back onto its base, then worry about buckling in the squirming toddler. If you're wearing the baby, you could do either one first.
@roxell
Cant help you on pumping, but KellyMom is a great resource for all things breastfeeding, including storage!
It doesn't hurt to pump if you are doing it correctly.
Breastfeeding is a supply/demand system. You never "run out" of milk. I began pumping 1x/day instead of nursing when my son was around 4/6 weeks and daddy would feed that bottle. This was just to get him used to taking a bottle for when I returned to work. Once I needed to really build a freezer stash, I pumped after first
morning feeding (always have the most output) and sometime right before I went to bed. You don't really need a huge freezer stash, just enough for your first day back to work + a small
emergency stash...or maybe just a small emergency stash for a night out, etc.
Storage = 6-6-6(1) rule. 6 hours at room
temp. 6 days in fridge. 6 months in freezer/1 year in deep freeze.
Anyone have difficulties with freakishly tiny nipples? I mean, they're not inverted and I know it's still possible even with that so I'm sure someone will tell me it doesn't matter, but I'm still skeptical...
BFP #2 3/21 EDD 11/28/16
Son, K, 9 | Daughter, C, 5 | Daughter, M, expected November 7, 2016
@atcwag Thanks for the 6,6,6 rule, that makes it easy to remember! I never really thought about how much of a stash I will need to go back to work, but I guess just a day or two makes sense. If I'm pumping at work I will just send that with to the daycare the next day.
When solo I would put DS in the bouncer to watch DD's bath. He loved that. Around 6 months they started sometimes bathing together. Or I would skip bath if I just couldn't deal. Then DD helped get her own pajamas on and brushed her teeth. I tried to rebrush after her when possible. I would nurse DS while reading her stories, then have her turn off the light. I could then nurse DS while rubbing her back. Most nights she fell asleep in my bed since there was more room for all 3 of us than her twin. Once they were both asleep I'd transfer her to her bed.
DS had a much more regular schedule much earlier than DD (though was an equally crappy sleeper in some respects). A large part of that was us already being home by 7:30pm nightly due to DD's bedtime. He was up much less from 9-11pm, unlike my DD.
Playgrounds and anytime we went anywhere, I would load DS into a baby carrier, then go get DD from her car seat. I could then keep up with her as needed with both hands free. I also started giving her a lot more freedom to explore without me hovering. At first that meant sticking to the playgrounds with smaller structures until we both developed more confidence -- me in her, her in herself.
I never figured out sleep deprivation other than I went to bed right at 8pm for months. I was lucky to be able to keep DD in daycare some of the time and it was still rough.
Note with zippers- be extra extra careful not to zip baby's skin!
Awesome Kid #2: Due November 2016!
Then the term began being used for adult footed pajamas. So now it's sometimes used for baby footed pjs too.
If people refer to a "onesie" for a baby they are usually talking about the ones Gerber made famous which are the bodysuits.
"Sleepers" are usually footed pajamas that snap or zip up, or sleeping gowns.
Awesome Kid #2: Due November 2016!
Once DS was big enough for the cart, I stuck to stores with cart options that seat 2 kids. I got out DD first and had her hold my leg while I got out DS. If she was having trouble listening, I've sat her in the front seat before while getting DS out. Then we'd go find a double cart and load in DS then DD. Back at the car, DS would get buckled first, then DD, then unload cart and return it.
If you want to build a stash, you can start by trying to pump when baby is done eating. Also, as baby eats less frequently, you can pump in place of the dropped feeding. I found I had the most milk right when I woke up. So I would feed her and then pump. If baby starts going 4 hours in the afternoon without nursing, you could add a pumping session 2 hours after she eats. I did not start pumping until about 4 months in. Looking back, I leaked A LOT at night because she was a good sleeper and I had an oversupply. I could have pumped to save that milk. But, if I had pumped, my body would have thought my baby was eating in the middle of the night, and it would never learn to chill with the milk-making. So I don't know what I'll do this time!
6 months freezer. 6 days fridge. 6 hours at room temp.
Awesome Kid #2: Due November 2016!
@roxell, I found pumping slightly less comfortable than nursing (though much more annoying). It also took me a week or so for my body to get used to responding to the pump, even if I was clearly engorged/knew there was plenty of milk there. At first I watched a video of my nursling (DD then DS) on repeat the whole time.
I had the hardest time pumping the first bottle. I tried for a few minutes after DD had nursed in early afternoon and got 2oz total in 3 days. But then I would have DH feed while I pumped instead of nursed several times a week. After a bit I could pump 5oz, feed DD 3oz, and freeze 2oz so I'd have a backup stash. I had 60ish oz. by the time I returned to work (1 week's worth). Then each day at work my goal was to pump 12+oz (what I needed for daycare the next day).
eta - I fit in pumping in the afternoon bc that worked best for me but anytime is fine. Consistent is best, if you can manage it.
Awesome Kid #2: Due November 2016!