Need non-pregnancy advice...LONG

Mamabraun7911 · April 2016

ok so H, DS and I live with my grandma in her house to take care of her bc she's in a wheelchair. Well she decided since we pay the bills and care for her she was going to put her property into our name. This will all be taking place within the next two weeks. Everyone in my family is on board bc we'd still be giving her a place to live unless she gets to a point where we can no longer give her the care she needs. So the problem is she has 5 acres that my uncle and his son have DESTROYED! They have trash laying around everywhere, an old boat, 2 old vans, a snowmobile and this weird mobile shed thing. So H and I have been cleaning up the yard slowly but surely. We plan to in the near future build a new house and knock hers down (it's old and repairs would cost more than new). Well they refuse to get rid of their shit! They think it's all staying and we can just hide behind the house where no one can see it. I'm beyond annoyed! I don't want to cause a family fued and stress my grandma out about it. But at the same time this shit has been sitting here for 5+ years, the snowmobile at least 10 that no one has touched it. What do I do? Is it wrong for me to want the yard cleaned up and am I being too controlling over the situation? Do I just let them keep it all here for another decade? How would you ladies go about this?

Sorry for the post being something probably none of you could give a crap about but you always have great advice!! TIA

Tawny87 · April 2016

Once it is in your name you can send them a notarized letter saying they have such and such period to remove items from property or it will go to the dump. Will they be upset? Most likely. Is it worth looking at a pile of shit on your property forever? Hell no, in my opinion!

ETA: If you decide to go the notarized letter route I would send the letter certified so they have to sign that they received it and I would also have a second copy notarized for your personal records.

nightwitch · April 2016

Totally not wrong of you to not want to live in a junkyard. I would use your kids as the excuse ie "Oh its dangerous for DS to be playing on/around all this junk, and when our impending arrival gets big enough I also want them to have a safe space to play in."

Also, I have learned the hard way through dealing with my own parents who I've had to take in due to memory issues, desicions and choices about family stuff like this is NOT a democracy. Those who pay the costs, get to be the boss. After the property is in your name do what the PP said to do with a lovely notarized letter and if they squawk and bitch about it kindly reply if they'd like the burden of caring for an elder on top of their own lives and their own obligations, they are free to come take care of grandma among all their rusty garbage. Guaranteed they pass on that offer

Tawny87 · April 2016

Also, if you want to seem scarier to them it may be in your interest to have an attorney draft and send the letter for you.

purplefan1 · April 2016

For sure work on getting rid of it. Seems like they have been taking advantage of your grandmother and think they can take advantage of you. This will be a good way of helping them understand that this property now belongs to you and any freedom they have enjoyed on it is now stopping. Sets good boundaries. You have to consider as well that they have no problem telling YOU how it's going to be and they don't seem to worry about starting a family feud with YOU so try to not worry about it in reverse. Go the most civil route possible. When civil doesn't work, call in reinforcements like PPs suggested.

Diesel615 · April 2016

I agree with PP. My brother takes advantage of my parents and uses their house as his personal junkyard, too. I would give them ample warning and then do what Tawny87 said about the notarized letter. Also, when you're getting rid of that stuff, a lot of it sounds like scrap metal and you can get money for that stuff. So don't look into paying someone to take it away, you can get someone to pay you for it.

lm45678 · April 2016

100% either get a notarized letter or a letter from an attorney. It's not okay for them to leave their shit on your property.

Sydvicious08 · April 2016

Yeah, as soon as that was in my name, I'd give them 30 days then sell that crap on Craigslist or take it to a junk yard. I have family like this and that's what had to be done with them. It's not their land so technically they can't have it there without your permission

Trinirican3ondway · April 2016

My first inclination would be to agree with PP however you also have to take into account that is your family. If you care about salvaging the relationship you might want to try and compromise. You also don't want your poor grandmother to get stuck in the middle of your family feud. I mean 5 acres is A LOT of land. Maybe ask him to get rid of what is clearly garbage or dangerous for kids to be around and have him move the rest of his stuff to a corner of the property where it's not right in your face.

Mamabraun7911 · April 2016

Thanks everyone for the advice!! The problem with mailing them anything is they live in a camper and have no address. And my uncles gf is crazy so if I hand deliver anything she'd go crazy psycho. Just to give you a hint at how crazy she is...my grandma let them stay with her and every time my grandma wouldn't give them money she'd call her every possible name but her favorite was c*nt (gah I hate that word lol). She's super confrontational. And with just getting rid of any of it if they don't take it, would I need the title? My cousin was here last night saying he had no where to go with any of it and he doesn't want to get rid of it

@Trinirican3ondway that's what I don't want is to put her in the middle but how long am I supposed to keep this stuff? It's already been here for years. There's really no hidden corners. And they don't have any money or even a home to take any of it. We have a small shed but not big enough for really any of it once we have the lawn mower and our own outdoor things in it. If we had a place to tuck them away I'd have no problem with but its just so open

almostpriceless · April 2016

What if you asked them to at least move it to a back corner and put a fence up? I wouldn't want a bunch of junk all over either, but you'd need a title to get rid of anything with a vin number and that will probably be a problem. Honestly, it sounds like doing anything forceful might even be kind of dangerous, given the way you've described these people.

Mamabraun7911 · April 2016

Yeah we'd have to flip the bill for the fencing but I guess it might be my only option. And yes they're crazies lol

Tawny87 · April 2016

Maybe have the letter served instead of mailing? I'm not sure about the title for items, maybe call a lawyer to ask about specifics?

almostpriceless · April 2016

Sucks you're dealing with this! Good luck.

Tawny87 · April 2016

Also if there is for some reason an arranged time for them to come get items you can have an officer come over while it's happening. My cousin had to do this while getting her stuff back from her crazy ex-husband.

sorarose · April 2016

Mamabraun7911 said:

Thanks everyone for the advice!! The problem with mailing them anything is they live in a camper and have no address. And my uncles gf is crazy so if I hand deliver anything she'd go crazy psycho. Just to give you a hint at how crazy she is...my grandma let them stay with her and every time my grandma wouldn't give them money she'd call her every possible name but her favorite was c*nt (gah I hate that word lol). She's super confrontational. And with just getting rid of any of it if they don't take it, would I need the title? My cousin was here last night saying he had no where to go with any of it and he doesn't want to get rid of it

@Trinirican3ondway that's what I don't want is to put her in the middle but how long am I supposed to keep this stuff? It's already been here for years. There's really no hidden corners. And they don't have any money or even a home to take any of it. We have a small shed but not big enough for really any of it once we have the lawn mower and our own outdoor things in it. If we had a place to tuck them away I'd have no problem with but its just so open

Sounds like they're taking complete advantage of the situation, and I would call an attorney. IMO, they may be family, but they seem to have no regard for you or your grandmother, so why do you feel the need to pander to them?

heathersaysso · April 2016

I agree with @sorarose, they clearly have no concern for any inconvenience they may be causing you, and this seems like one of those situations where if you give in now they're going to keep pushing. You may need a title to have the items sold, but you can have them towed at the owner's expense very easily. Send them a "move your shit" letter, give them X number of days (not weeks) and then have it all towed and the bill sent to them. This doesn't sound like the kind of people you want to be inviting over for brunch or Christmas morning anyway. Cut them off and move them out.

purplefan1 · April 2016

Agreed. They sound crazy pants. Tell them you got assessed by the county and have been given notice that the lot has to be cleaned up or fines will be set. Give them a time to salvage whatever they desperately want and then haul the rest off. They are definitely taking advantage of the situation and I still feel as though they will view the property as theirs since their stuff is on it. I don't want you waking up in the morning to these people climbing around on the land tinkering with their "stuff". I also think they will continue to view the house and land as your grandma's and will trespass at any time. If your grandmother were to pass away and the house had to be sold, they would be forced to move the crap. It shouldn't matter that it is being " sold" to a family member.

mebaby333 · April 2016

Sell them a portion of the land, the one their stuff is on.... then use the dollars to fence in your yard and start your house

Mamabraun7911 · April 2016

Thank you everyone! I'm going to give them a 30 days from the day I send the letter to get it out. The lawyer who is switching the deed is going to assist with writing the letter. I've talked to my grandma about it and she said she knows it needs to be done and she wishes she would have put an end to it years ago.

@mebaby333 that'd be the best option bc I really don't need 5 acres BUT the county will not allow the land to be "basterized" (that's the county's word) and they have no money and awful credit to pay for anything.

Need non-pregnancy advice...LONG

Re: Need non-pregnancy advice...LONG

Choose Another Board

Search Boards