I had a doc appointment this AM (got to hear that amazing heartbeat!) so I came into work late. I've been here for 1.5 hours, mostly just bumped, bought a new blow dryer and flat iron online (seriously, they were on sale, I had to get on that!), and now I think I'm going to head to lunch... even though I'm not quite hungry yet! And I might leave early today, too.
@marajay6 That is so good to know! I may go ahead and order DD's now then. Our insurance was fine with the birth confirmation letter the hospital mailed us shortly after she was born.
@PoodleDoodleOoo- I was just about to text my husband that I'm leaving early today too. Some days I have to leave at 3:15 to get my son at daycare instead of 5pm. I haven't had an early day like that in a couple of weeks, I think I'll pretend today is one of those days. On second thought, maybe I shouldn't tell him and I should go wander Target and do some other solo activities until my normal time...
OMG that can't be a real onesie can it????! That is making me so ragey!
My FFFC: I spent 4 hours yesterday browsing cooking videos, going to the store to get ingredients, cooking an awesome dinner, eating it, and cleaning up after it.
So in my mind that means I don't have to do anything productive today. Well, I mean other than keep my toddler alive and entertained, which I guess is pretty damn productive.
Maybe my FFFC should be that there is very little/no feminist in me.
Too each her own. I'm definitely no Gloria Steinem, but there are many feminist ideals that I'm proud to espouse. Being the mom of a fiercely independent little girl brings it out more, I think.
I always say my daughter sparked my feminist awakening. I didn't really think about women's issues until I had her!
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
YES. Such BS! I hate that crap on BOTH sides. All you see are stupid pink onesies with crap like "Sweet & Cute" for girls and "Ladies Man" for boys. Yes, let's cram our babies into these stupid, society-imposed gender stereotypes and teach them that girls should be sweet, and boys should be manly flirts. Blah.
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
I think deep down women are all feminists (or should be). I think certain women can give the whole feminist movement a bad name though. I can't think of a specific example, but let's just say you don't need to burn all your bras, say no to all things stereotypically feminine, and hate men to be a feminist.
@runningisrad you posted a great article on FB the other day that perfectly spells it all out.
My son wears things that others have bought him that say "Chick magnet" or "Hunk" ... can't remember if we have anything along the lines of "Ladies Man" but none of it bothers me
I think deep down women are all feminists (or should be). I think certain women can give the whole feminist movement a bad name though. I can't think of a specific example, but let's just say you don't need to burn all your bras, say no to all things stereotypically feminine, and hate men to be a feminist.
@runningisrad you posted a great article on FB the other day that perfectly spells it all out.
Oh! Was it the "A Feminist Response to 'I Am Not a Feminist and That Is Okay'"?
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
I also agree that all women should be feminists, and I'm not afraid to say so. Feminism isn't a dirty word, and it's not about being a man-hating asshole that thinks they're better than all men. It's about equality for EVERYONE. Feminism is standing up for men who are raped (because it happens), it's about calling someone out on being unintentionally (or intentionally) sexist, it's about demanding equal pay, it's about ending harmful gender stereotypes for both women AND men. It's about teaching our little boys to be respectful of women and treat them as people, not objects. It's about teaching our girls to respect men and remember that they aren't made of stone, and not to belittle them if they cry. It's about supporting a woman's right to work after having a child, stay home after having a child; it's about supporting a woman's right to have children or NOT have children. Feminism is about so much more than a lot of people think it is.
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
@runningisrad- I think that the broad definition that feminism is trying to achieve is in an effort to shake some of the man-hating images that people have of feminism in their heads. I am having a hard time grasping how being a feminist is standing up for men who are raped - and I am in now way saying it doesn't happen, but by definition, I don't see how "feminism" could possibly mean that in the simplest of terms. Feminism is about the rights of women, whether that be social rights, economic rights, political rights, etc etc etc. To claim it's about the rights of a man who is raped just feels like we're trying to claim that feminism is everything and everyone is a feminist, which I just don't personally believe to be true.
And please, don't read this in an attacking way, my brain is simply not comprehending that far reaching of a definition. Perhaps you'll say "This is how:" and I'll say A-ha! Thanks! Or I'll say, Nope, still don't see it, but appreciate the explanation!
@runningisrad Sing it, sister! I find that most of my friends/acquaintances in the South East tend to assume the harsh "70's-era" feminism. When I actually talk about what you said, they're like "Oh yeah, me, too! But no, still not a feminist".
@Jabreen- I think the word does still carry some connotation with it of masculine women who hate men, with fists raised in the air and hairy armpits. I live in Maine - we're pretty much the north of the south in a lot of ways though, so it could be regional. I am in no ways defining feminism this way but I think it carries that
@runningisrad- I think that the broad definition that feminism is trying to achieve is in an effort to shake some of the man-hating images that people have of feminism in their heads. I am having a hard time grasping how being a feminist is standing up for men who are raped - and I am in now way saying it doesn't happen, but by definition, I don't see how "feminism" could possibly mean that in the simplest of terms. Feminism is about the rights of women, whether that be social rights, economic rights, political rights, etc etc etc. To claim it's about the rights of a man who is raped just feels like we're trying to claim that feminism is everything and everyone is a feminist, which I just don't personally believe to be true.
And please, don't read this in an attacking way, my brain is simply not comprehending that far reaching of a definition. Perhaps you'll say "This is how:" and I'll say A-ha! Thanks! Or I'll say, Nope, still don't see it, but appreciate the explanation!
Not attacking at all! Feminism is, first and foremost, about reaching for equality for women. Because women are still at a disadvantage in so many ways, feminism is of course about striving for equality.
That being said, you cannot strive for equality and still expect preferential treatment. You cannot advocate for a woman rape victim and not advocate for a male rape victim. You cannot say it's okay for women to cry, but not men.
Involving men in feminism is complex, but it all goes back to equal playing ground. By including men in certain aspects, it brings us all into one level. It's okay for women AND men to cry. It's okay for men to like pink, or to knit, etc. Removing the stereotypes that men feel pressured to fit into also helps decrease rape culture, harassment, etc. There will always be rapists, there will always be assholes, but rape culture is about more than just rape. It's women feeling afraid because they're cat called. It's women cobstantly being criticized for how they look, what they wear, etc. It's the fact that women are asked what they were wearing when they come forward and say they were raped.
By leveling the playing field and bringing men to understand, we get more allies and a better chance at receiving the same treatment as our male counterparts.
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
@AnnaS930 I agree that that is where some of the disconnect comes from. Maybe a better term would be a "humanist" or an "equalist" or something, but I think it comes from the idea of carrying on the work of previous generations and allowing the older terminology to adapt. If you feel the word doesn't apply to you because of the associations you have with it, then I fully understand not using it. Language is an imperfect system we use to try to convey complex ideas to each other, usually with mixed results. Ultimately, it's the root beliefs and the subsequent actions that are far more important!
Sorry if this is huge, but this. So much this. Same goes for saying you're a socialist. When did "socialist" become a dirty word? I'm blaming McCarthy. And yes I'm a Bernster supporter
OK! So here's my personal conclusions. I'm one of "those" people... @Jabreenand @runningisrad- I fully believe in equality for all regardless of sex, gender, age, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, body type (and any and every other thing that separate people). In the broadest definition of being a feminist I am one, but it's still not a term that I choose to define myself with (Look! I'm such a feminist I refuse to be labeled.. as a feminist! HA!) Now I'm talking in circles. My point is that I support equality for all, but continue to choose not to be labeled as a feminist as in my mind, it means something different than in others. I hope that is not offensive, it's probably against the feminist movement to refuse to be labeled as so, but that's where I'm at today!
I love the thought and passion you have put into this, and I applaud you for it!
@AnnaS930 that's understandable, and to be honest, I was the same way until I had my daughter. After that, I was like... Hell yes I am a feminist. The negative connotation associated with the term doesn't bother me; I just have to practice what I preach and exemplify what actual feminism is all about.
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
@runningisrad- good for you!! It's pretty cool how kids change us/bring certain things out of us that we are passionate about.
I'm really happy that my husband is on board with us getting a baby doll for my son once we find out what we're having (I'd like the doll to be cutesy/plush but somewhat anatomically correct). I know a lot of friends who would be totally against that/embarrassed by that. I mean raising a son to be a loving older brother/someday possibly a father, what a ridiculous thing to do.. right?!
But I will still probably dress my LO in onesies that say "cute" or "ladies man" because I think it is funny or adorable. But I totally understand why others would not and how the messaging could be interpreted. I will do my very best to raise my children to not feel boxed in to whatever role society feels they should play though. I want my kids to grow into the people they are meant to be! I hope my daughter would climb trees, play sports and play with matchbox cars as well as play dress up or want to paint her nails. I hope my son would play sports, paint, play with dolls or whatever he chooses.
Married: 3/21/15 First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
@AnnaS930 I visited Maine last summer and tried to explain to a college friend from there that Maine felt more southern to me than anywhere else I've visited outside the SE (I'm from Louisiana). She was mildly amused and not quite offended, but warned me never to mention it to another Maine native. Funny to see it acknowledged.
@abberson- I think it's like many things, if we bring it up ourselves it's not such a big deal, but if someone else says it "How dare you?!"
The state of Maine has an older population than many other states and seriously lacks diversity. We are also a state where a lot of people are born and raised here and never leave (lots of super rural areas). People lack an amount of world experience and broadening of horizons, which therefore leaves a lot of narrow-minded, uninformed people around. You'll find a fair deal of pro-guns, anti-immigrations, confederate flags (like really? we are as Union as Union was), yadda yadda. Luckily I live in a more populated area, which includes a very good liberal arts school, bringing a lot of fresh ideas and progressive thinking to my area. I am by far the most liberal thinker at my workplace.
@abberson- I learned my lesson earlier this week with avatar pics when I thought that SLou's pic of Nikki Manaj was actually her. I clicked on your picture because I thought it was a raw chicken, hahahahahaha. Instead I found a cute little ballerina!
I am feeling so stabby today and the list of people that are irritating me continues to grow: my brother in law and sister in law, my sister's husband, my crabby daughters, my best friend's husband...
I need to lock myself in the house and turn off my phone until this passes. I'm not sure if it's hormones or what, but just about everything and anything is driving me nuts. Yuck. (Typing this makes me feel a tiny bit better)
@LizC216- I hate when I'm just crabby and everything makes me crabbier. Sometimes some wild dancing to loud, silly music helps me change the day around.
@AnnaS930 I should give it a try. It's a miserable way to feel on a Friday. Or maybe I should hit up the dark chocolate bar that I hid in the fridge....hmmm
@kosmo86- yes! a few of us were just saying this on the randoms thread.. SUPER annoying, all of a sudden every few posts has a video/other ad embedded. I am really really not impressed.
Re: FFFC
My FFFC: I spent 4 hours yesterday browsing cooking videos, going to the store to get ingredients, cooking an awesome dinner, eating it, and cleaning up after it.
So in my mind that means I don't have to do anything productive today. Well, I mean other than keep my toddler alive and entertained, which I guess is pretty damn productive.
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
Definitely not!
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
YES. Such BS! I hate that crap on BOTH sides. All you see are stupid pink onesies with crap like "Sweet & Cute" for girls and "Ladies Man" for boys. Yes, let's cram our babies into these stupid, society-imposed gender stereotypes and teach them that girls should be sweet, and boys should be manly flirts. Blah.
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
Awkward Family Fun
@runningisrad you posted a great article on FB the other day that perfectly spells it all out.
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
Oh! Was it the "A Feminist Response to 'I Am Not a Feminist and That Is Okay'"?
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
https://www.hercampus.com/school/psu/feminist-response-i-am-not-feminist-and-okay
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
And please, don't read this in an attacking way, my brain is simply not comprehending that far reaching of a definition. Perhaps you'll say "This is how:" and I'll say A-ha! Thanks! Or I'll say, Nope, still don't see it, but appreciate the explanation!
That being said, you cannot strive for equality and still expect preferential treatment. You cannot advocate for a woman rape victim and not advocate for a male rape victim. You cannot say it's okay for women to cry, but not men.
Involving men in feminism is complex, but it all goes back to equal playing ground. By including men in certain aspects, it brings us all into one level. It's okay for women AND men to cry. It's okay for men to like pink, or to knit, etc. Removing the stereotypes that men feel pressured to fit into also helps decrease rape culture, harassment, etc. There will always be rapists, there will always be assholes, but rape culture is about more than just rape. It's women feeling afraid because they're cat called. It's women cobstantly being criticized for how they look, what they wear, etc. It's the fact that women are asked what they were wearing when they come forward and say they were raped.
By leveling the playing field and bringing men to understand, we get more allies and a better chance at receiving the same treatment as our male counterparts.
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
Sorry if this is huge, but this. So much this. Same goes for saying you're a socialist. When did "socialist" become a dirty word? I'm blaming McCarthy. And yes I'm a Bernster supporter
I love the thought and passion you have put into this, and I applaud you for it!
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
I'm really happy that my husband is on board with us getting a baby doll for my son once we find out what we're having (I'd like the doll to be cutesy/plush but somewhat anatomically correct). I know a lot of friends who would be totally against that/embarrassed by that. I mean raising a son to be a loving older brother/someday possibly a father, what a ridiculous thing to do.. right?!
But I will still probably dress my LO in onesies that say "cute" or "ladies man" because I think it is funny or adorable. But I totally understand why others would not and how the messaging could be interpreted. I will do my very best to raise my children to not feel boxed in to whatever role society feels they should play though. I want my kids to grow into the people they are meant to be! I hope my daughter would climb trees, play sports and play with matchbox cars as well as play dress up or want to paint her nails. I hope my son would play sports, paint, play with dolls or whatever he chooses.
First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
The state of Maine has an older population than many other states and seriously lacks diversity. We are also a state where a lot of people are born and raised here and never leave (lots of super rural areas). People lack an amount of world experience and broadening of horizons, which therefore leaves a lot of narrow-minded, uninformed people around. You'll find a fair deal of pro-guns, anti-immigrations, confederate flags (like really? we are as Union as Union was), yadda yadda. Luckily I live in a more populated area, which includes a very good liberal arts school, bringing a lot of fresh ideas and progressive thinking to my area. I am by far the most liberal thinker at my workplace.
We are the south of the north, no denying it!
I need to lock myself in the house and turn off my phone until this passes. I'm not sure if it's hormones or what, but just about everything and anything is driving me nuts. Yuck. (Typing this makes me feel a tiny bit better)
BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18