What in the actual F!? Wednesday (WTF Wednesday)

ladystinson · April 2016

Image: https://media1.giphy.com/media/INaB1XMbB1m12/200.gif

OMG lets here 'em!

ladystinson · April 2016

**TW- other child and stupid idiots**

sorry in advance for the rant...

DH's ex ignored the court order last week so we couldn't see step DS. The beginning of the week it was signed by a judge so they can no longer view it as a "recommendation" by the court. Part of the order is a psych eval for both parties. ex-idiots lawyer just called and stated that the only issue her client has is that she does not have the money to pay for the psych eval, so could DH pay for it for both parties? how about
jennifer lawrence hell no oh hell no

we're already paying 2500 for the Best Interest Lawyer for step-DS which she got out of paying for because she's not working. She has no medical reason for not working, plus step-DS is in 1st grade.... you've got at least 6 hours every.single.day to go find a job. Her defense at one point was that she didn't have a vehicle (she lives in town and could easily work to at least a dozen businesses) now she and her boyfriend have 2 new-to-them vehicles so she has no transportation excuse. Find a mother f'ing job and pay your own bills. She's asking for a court custody evaluator instead, they evaluate the home and the overall environment, NOT the fitness as a parent.

sistersmovie movie scream tina fey sisters

sistersmovie movie scream tina fey sisters

canavara · April 2016

ladystinson said:

ex-idiots lawyer just called and stated that the only issue her client has is that she does not have the money to pay for the psych eval, so could DH pay for it for both parties?

lol what. That's terrible. Sorry to hear you're DH's ex is being such a trainwreck. Hopefully the court recognizes that soon enough.

sldp123 · April 2016

@ladystinson sorry you have to deal with such a TW of a co-parent. I hope the situation improves for you soon.

My WTF is pretty petty and meaningless compared to that and some of the awful things from TW Tuesday, but I'll vent anyway. We listed our current house for sale on Monday, and yesterday the hot water heater started leaking and needs to be replaced. This was only about two weeks after we replaced the heating elements and the guy told us that we could probably get five more years out of the tank. So now we are basically buying a new hot water heater for someone else since we are moving in less than two months. WTF water heater? You couldn't have lasted a few more months?

ladystinson · April 2016

@canavara God help us I hope so. The sad thing is, she could fake it through a custody eval (plus her lawyer was a custody evaluator in michigan when she first got out of school... Man I love Linkdin! lol) but the psych eval is needed to prove that she is unstable and really is a risk. A flight risk (she ran when step-DS was 2 and was gone for 2 weeks with DH not knowing where they were) shes a physical harm risk (she ran up behind DH and as he turned she elbowed him in the face and slammed him into the side of my car) she's a mental harm risk (she tells step-DS about her financial troubles and has him worried about money. he's almost 7. she also tried to tell him about all the things she alleged DH did to both of them when they were still married, luckily he didn't believe any of it because he knows his father better than that) she also has a man living with her and step-DS who she met online and hasn't even known for a year. He moved in about a month after they met, but we wonder about him as well because he has 2 kids from previous relationships, 1 he sees once in a while and the other he has no contact with. why is that? what happened?

I'm exhausted by it all...

sLass42 · April 2016

@ladystinson oh I'm so sorry you're having to deal with that. Could you have DH do the eval and see if you can get a court order served to ex to have one? I don't see how they can make you guys pay for it, it's not like a paternity test or anything. Maybe you could call in some character witnesses against ex?

@sldp123 that's terrible luck on the water heater. We looked at a home to buy and the inspector said we could change heating elements but it's only temporary. Could you put something like "water heater replaced pending closing" just to buy time? Then at least you have a sale before spending the $

My WTF is work right now. We went on honeymoon end of March only 4 days off work, and we're still playing catch up. I had an account that wanted to grab an order this friday that I put in before vacation. We're slammed so it's about a month wait on new orders. I went to check on it and apparently the items are discontinued so the order was never processed. Ordering dept sent the customer an email about it the week we left and the stupid customer didn't bother to reply. Now I have to call this pushy guy back and tell him to check his emails because there's no way they can pickup friday if we don't even know what items to order....
(account rep @ tshirt design company btw)
ETA: I might just have to forget to call him....

ladystinson · April 2016

@slass42 it is court ordered for both of them to have it done. and DH's best friend and father and I have all be on the stand against her numerous times. The court can't make us pay for hers but her lawyer has implied that if we don't then she won't get it done and they will be pursuing the custody evaluator. The problem with the custody eval is that the best interest lawyer is already being paid to do that exact thing (among others) good luck with your account... I hate slow/stupid customers

canonmom413 · April 2016

My "What the actual F", is more of a " I don't give a F" .

Bfn, after Bfn, with temps still up there have me all like
work mad papers grouchy throw papers

Therefore, even though AF is still not here, Im treating myself to yummy treats. Im eating chips and salsa and cookies for lunch. Im going to postpone laundry. Im going to buy myself a venti full caff starbucks tonight when i take kids to dance. Im boycotting adulting today.

canonmom413 · April 2016

@ladystinson
What a flippin nightmare. I dont have anything to input since ive never been in or had experience with that situation, but I am so sorry you have to deal with that. She sounds like a whack job.

sLass42 · April 2016

@ladystinson ugh that's so frustrating! Hate to say it but I'd prolly just pay for it to make her mad, sounds like she knows the psych eval might not turn out in her favor. Fx that it all works out!
@canonmom413 Same boat. I started eating right when we started ttc. It's been so frustrating that now it's like "dont care, gonna eat what i want till i cant!"

ladystinson · April 2016

@sLass42 thats a really good point. she stated on the stand (among her many lies) that she's never taken any psych drugs before even though she was on adderal (sp?) at the point at which she ran. She got it because of problems focusing at work, realized it was making her lose weight so she went to another dr and got a higher dose. it was during that time that she started stealing and ended up running with the then-baby. obviously thats a minor pysch drug that lots of people are on, but it still counts when you're asked on the stand. We know she's a compulsive liar, I think she has cyclothymia (of course this is only my untrained opinion, but...) my exH has it. It's similar to bi-polar disorder with major swings, however the mania usually doesn't go to the extreme of thinking that you can actually fly (for example) and depression usually still allows you to function in day to day life to some extent as opposed to struggling to get out of bed (again, for example)

canonmom413 · April 2016

@sLass42 I hope hes not all like "I never got an email" thats the worst!
Also, glad Im not alone. Cheers:
food eating hungry kate kate hudson

@sldp123 Thats frustrating! Hope you can buy the cheapest one there is, and call it a day.

mrsdee15 · April 2016

@ladystinson I'm so sorry you're dealing with that. That sounds so incredibly frustrating.

My WTF is very minor, but to myself. Why was giving up caffeine such a great idea again? Today I'm like

I'm also now in the market for some sort of coffee-creating device.

QueenSunscreen · April 2016

@ladystinson that is some bullshit. She sounds like an absolutely terrible co parent and I feel bad for your step DS - hugs!

@sLass42 just don't call. Especially if it's out of character for you - pass it off as an honest mistake.

My Wtf is a common one here, but it's newish to me. I have a baby shower coming up and fell into a black hole on amazon looking through her registry. I had one job - get in, get out, don't research - just pick and buy. Couldn't do it - I started picking out and saving things I want. It's all so cute. So tiny. So not mine yet. *sigh*.

And the girl in front of me stopped in with her newborn.

My ovaries hurt.

sLass42 · April 2016

@ladystinson wow if she is having manic episodes the Adderall could make it worse. I was on that for ADHD in elem school (which eventually i didnt need). It calmed me, but people who abuse it end up running at 100mph. I had to get off it because I wasn't gaining any weight. Any psychological prescription should give you some kind of fuel tho!
@canonmom413 oh I hear "i never got that" all the time. Why are we not in your address book....did you check spam?? some people just don't bother. And omg your gif, I stuffed my face last with burger king and loved it!

virginiaham · April 2016

H and I watch a lot of old movies, with one of our recents on the rotating list being The Bucket List. I miss and/or forget SO many details in movies, but my H just gathers them is as fodder for funny jokes later on. There is a scene in The Bucket List where they are drinking Kopi Luwak. He did research on this and then announced to me last night that we need to order some and try it because apparently it is among the BEST coffees out there. Not even as a joke. Do you know what it is? Half-digested coffee beans harvested out of cat poop. And I'm willing to try it with him. Oh and pay $60 for 4 ounces of it. As an anniversary present to ourselves this year. So my WTAF is directed at my H and at myself.

linzrunz · April 2016

We are on day 3 of the MIL Apology Watch (if you didn't hear the story, she straight up slapped my across the face as hard as she could Sunday night). Still no word from her. DH hasn't heard from her either. But don't worry. She had plenty of time to update Facebook about how she went grocery shopping. WTF MIL?!!

mrsdee15 · April 2016

linzrunz said:

We are on day 3 of the MIL Apology Watch (if you didn't hear the story, she straight up slapped my across the face as hard as she could Sunday night). Still no word from her. DH hasn't heard from her either. But don't worry. She had plenty of time to update Facebook about how she went grocery shopping. WTF MIL?!!

I meant to say this earlier but I am completely floored by how your MIL acted. So much WTF. She must have missed that day in preschool when you learn that hitting is not acceptable.

furbabymom2007 · April 2016

Wtf to my cube neighbor at work. You have an insanely annoying voice and are more or less incompetent. I am content to dislike you.

But then you stop by and give me free boxes of Girl Scout cookies??? I want to cookies (though I don't need them) but I don't want to like you now.

linzrunz · April 2016

@mrsdee15 She has an overall immature demeanor so I'm pretty sure she missed LOTS of preschool lessons. I could go on and on about them. But she definitely took it way too far.

ladystinson · April 2016

linzrunz said:

@mrsdee15 She has an overall immature demeanor so I'm pretty sure she missed LOTS of preschool lessons. I could go on and on about them. But she definitely took it way too far.

ugh.... trapped in the quote box.... sigh
@linzrunz the bolded is the understatement of the week lol I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with that mess. How's you migraine?

_______________________ · April 2016

linzrunz said:

We are on day 3 of the MIL Apology Watch (if you didn't hear the story, she straight up slapped my across the face as hard as she could Sunday night). Still no word from her. DH hasn't heard from her either. But don't worry. She had plenty of time to update Facebook about how she went grocery shopping. WTF MIL?!!

I'm new and don't know the whole story, but I cannot think of any scenario where slapping another person in the face is acceptable. I don't think any amount of apologies can help the fact that your MIL is off her rocker.

MonaLisaRalphio · April 2016

@linzrunz I was so rage-blind after reading the original story that I couldn't even articulately respond. I can't believe she hasn't apologized yet. Any chance she'll try to sweep it under the rug/pretend it didn't happen? I'm amazed at your restraint so far in not actually cutting a bitch.

MelissaM090 · April 2016

QueenSunscreen said:

And the girl in front of me stopped in with her newborn.

My ovaries hurt.

That's the worst. A girl I work with stopped in with her newborn (as in, 3-4 days old) and I was holding him and he was just so content to be held and nuzzling into my neck. Everyone's like 'You're a natural mom! You need a baby of your own!'

I KNOW, OKAY?!

Liss_37 · April 2016

my WTF is people at work who cannot follow SIMPLE instructions. Hand me in your phone logs every Friday. it's not hard. This one asshat slipped the whole month of March's logs in my mailbox so she could hide from me. WTF?! thanks for quadrupling my workload today, jerk

_______________________ · April 2016

virginiaham said:

H and I watch a lot of old movies, with one of our recents on the rotating list being The Bucket List. I miss and/or forget SO many details in movies, but my H just gathers them is as fodder for funny jokes later on. There is a scene in The Bucket List where they are drinking Kopi Luwak. He did research on this and then announced to me last night that we need to order some and try it because apparently it is among the BEST coffees out there. Not even as a joke. Do you know what it is? Half-digested coffee beans harvested out of cat poop. And I'm willing to try it with him. Oh and pay $60 for 4 ounces of it. As an anniversary present to ourselves this year. So my WTAF is directed at my H and at myself.

ETA: trying to be a cool kid and gif and failing miserably.

<img src=https://media.giphy.com/media/g43ZqCrsNRbpu/giphy.gif>

sLass42 · April 2016

@linzrunz Caught up on the MIL situation yesterday...and omg. Maybe she's feeling really ashamed? Hoping she doesn't feel like you were in the wrong considering it's your child! Maybe she needs a facebook unfriend as a wake up call or something...
Fx and hoping that she comes to her senses

oldersis · April 2016

@linzrunz that is ridiculous and one of the only times I might recommend BabyCenter. Their dealing with the in laws board has some great advice about boundaries and consequences. Although they can lean a little on the scorched earth side of things!

My WTF is my stupid body. I had cancer several years ago and can't come off the bench until I get some annual scans done. One of them needs to be done sometime between CD 7 and 10. My cycles are regular, but not consistent. I scheduled the scan for what should have been CD 10 because I am out of town the other days. Now I am spotting and it looks like CD 1 will happen 3 days sooner than it has in a year. If I can't get my appointment moved up, I will have to be benched an extra month while I wait for next CD 7-10.

KristoKekerooni · April 2016

*TW*
Sorry ladies, but my WTF today is about other women TTC. None of you guys. But I have made a lot of friends through this (long) journey, so I have TONS of TTC friends.
But look, people cope differently. While many people avoid everything baby, that's not how everyone works. My best friend has PCOS and has been TTC for 3 months. She avoids the baby section. She refuses to look at Pinterest baby stuff. She won't hang out with our pregnant/mommy friends. This is totally fine. I get it, for real. But I don't work that way. I love going to the baby section. I have built a small arsenal of baby clothes, cloth diapers, toys and even a few items of furniture. I have like ten baby boards on pinterest. I hang out with babies, plus work in the nursery at church. But she gets angry. She tells me I am "jinxing" myself and I should just ignore everything baby. But that's so not how I work. I can't just pretend babies aren't real and I don't want one. Instead, I have chosen to believe that I will be a mother. It might take a while, it might be expensive, it might not be natural, it might not even be my DNA that makes the kid. But I will be one. So why are you judging me for dealing differently? It keeps me from getting depressed. Never mind the fact that she has been trying for three months. I've been trying for almost 2 years and have had 3 losses. Don't tell me how to grieve.

canonmom413 · April 2016

@MommyForTheFirstTime No one can tell you how to handle your feelings. No one! You are the writer on your own life. You can decide what will make you happy and what will make you sad. If she cant respect your feelings on the subject, she needs to re-evaluate herself. At the same token, she is able to grieve her own way, but that does not mean making someone else feel bad for how they handle things.

MelissaM090 · April 2016

MommyForTheFirstTime said:

*TW*
Sorry ladies, but my WTF today is about other women TTC. None of you guys. But I have made a lot of friends through this (long) journey, so I have TONS of TTC friends.
But look, people cope differently. While many people avoid everything baby, that's not how everyone works. My best friend has PCOS and has been TTC for 3 months. She avoids the baby section. She refuses to look at Pinterest baby stuff. She won't hang out with our pregnant/mommy friends. This is totally fine. I get it, for real. But I don't work that way. I love going to the baby section. I have built a small arsenal of baby clothes, cloth diapers, toys and even a few items of furniture. I have like ten baby boards on pinterest. I hang out with babies, plus work in the nursery at church. But she gets angry. She tells me I am "jinxing" myself and I should just ignore everything baby. But that's so not how I work. I can't just pretend babies aren't real and I don't want one. Instead, I have chosen to believe that I will be a mother. It might take a while, it might be expensive, it might not be natural, it might not even be my DNA that makes the kid. But I will be one. So why are you judging me for dealing differently? It keeps me from getting depressed. Never mind the fact that she has been trying for three months. I've been trying for almost 2 years and have had 3 losses. Don't tell me how to grieve.

Everything this. I had a friend who had trouble TTC and she cut herself off from everyone she knew that was pregnant or had a baby. Even deleted a Facebook friend we both had who was pregnant (and now asks me for updates on her because she doesn't have her on Facebook and is embarrassed to re-friend her). She had her IVF baby last August and has made a couple of comments to me about how I seem to be 'handling it well'. It's only been 5 months for me, there's some issues making things harder for us at the moment, but I don't need to completely cut myself off from everything baby-related so I don't have a meltdown. I'm fine. It'll be my turn soon I'm sure. But I don't begrudge anyone else their pregnancy. I understood her position on it (even though it's not my way of handling it) but she seems baffled by mine.

KristoKekerooni · April 2016

@canonmom413 - Exactly. I can totally understand her views and how she deals. Frankly, I think most people TTC handle it the same as she. I am not judging her, because I totally understand. But that doesn't mean her way of dealing is "better." just agree to grieve differently.
@MelissaM090 - Exactly. I don't get mad when other people get pregnant (unless they are not doing right by their baby-that irks me). I don't get bitter, I don't ignore them, I don't delete them, I don't avoid them at all! Sure, I get a little sad, but as I have explained to so many people, just because I am sad for myself, doesn't mean I can't be happy for them at the same time. I can have more than one feeling at a time.
Like, this is what my husband says to me:

And then I have to retort with this:

Image: https://imagesmtv-a.akamaihd.net/uri/mgid:file:http:shared:mtv.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Hermione-Just-Because-Youve-Got-The-Emotional-Range-of-Teaspoon-GIF-1433745628.gif

But really.

Zoey1019 · April 2016

@MommyForTheFirstTime Agree!!! You have the right to handle it however you want...I wouldn't think cutting off friends would be the best way to do that anyway. Whatever makes you happy.....

DH made a similar comment to me this weekend, I know he didn't mean it, but I had a hormonal melt down after that resulted in him leaving Target and waiting in his car. We were walking past the baby aisle and I saw the cutest little baby swimsuit in the shape of a strawberry, I walked over and touched it and before I could even say "we should get this for our friend who is having a little girl," DH says "don't even think about it, you are jinxing youself." That is my WTF!!!!!!!

He has been forgiven since

lol, but come on! I really don't believe jinxing exists, it can sometimes just hurt to be around the baby stuff..

KristoKekerooni · April 2016

@Zoey1019 - OMG, exactly, like, please tell me the scientific proof that "jinxing" is real? Uh, no. I'm a scientist, thanks, I believe in real things. It definitely hurts sometimes and I get sad and down, but I try and remember that I will be a mother. It's taking more time and money than I planned, but it will happen. Whether it's natural, IVF, or adoption. I cling to that promise and I feel a little better. It makes me think of this:

Image: https://nickandzuzu.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/IVF-Baby-07-22-11.jpg

Edit: because words

PepperAT · April 2016

@ladystinson That is straight up crazy! I'm so sorry you both have to deal with that extra stress.

@linzrunz is your MIL just going to pretend like nothing happened? WTF is wrong with her? She needs to come out of hiding eventually..

My WTF today seems less important now, but I work at a bank and customers are driving me crazy today! I have a younger looking face so I guess that means I don't know how to do my jobs. This lady today said "I would like to take out $100.... That's 5 $20 bills" Yes, thanks lady, you have been a big help!!! Ugh. Also, one of my co-workers pulled a complete no show so we have been short staffed and it has just been a crazy day all together.

_______________________ · April 2016

MommyForTheFirstTime said:

@Zoey1019 - OMG, exactly, like, please tell me the scientific proof that "jinxing" is real? Uh, no. I'm a scientist, thanks, I believe in real things. It definitely hurts sometimes and I get sad and down, but I try and remember that I will be a mother. It's taking more time and money than I planned, but it will happen. Whether it's natural, IVF, or adoption. I cling to that promise and I feel a little better. It makes me think of this:

Edit: because words

This is giving me all the feels. Your attitude and outlook is awesome.

KristoKekerooni · April 2016

@SiouxsieeQ - You sound like you need a hug. So here, creepy internet hugs.

Image: https://media.giphy.com/media/1rQQjM3XCoYBq/giphy.gif

Liss_37 · April 2016

I have a new one and it's WTF ME???

I stepped away from my desk to go into a co-workers office and I was gone like 10 minutes. When I got back I realized that I left this page up on my screen. I have my own office but people come in and drop stuff on my desk all the time.

Gah... I hope no one came in. I really don't want anyone to know we are TTC. It's a very private journey for us as we aren't even sure DH can after his treatment. (he hasn't been tested and doesn't want to be right now).

ugh.. WTF me??? so stupid.

_______________________ · April 2016

Aw, thanks @MommyForTheFirstTime! I'm actually doing pretty good today, but hugs are always welcome! I just really liked your post. I hope I can remind myself of it on those days that are not so good.

meilay · April 2016

@MommyForTheFirstTime I feel you. I am the same way in this TTC journey. I love pinning things to my boards, researching breastfeeding and cloth diapers, looking up fun ways to announce, etc. DH is very curious (read: nosy) and always asks what I'm doing on my phone or computer and sometimes gets annoyed when I say "baby stuff." Oh well. I've actually had to stop sharing that we were TTC because it's irritating to be told by people who don't even want kids/already had them to "just let it happen" including not thinking about anything baby related whatsoever. That works for some but for me, and what I say to DH the most, is what's the point of taking the time to be careful and plan if we're just going to wait until we're KU before we start getting prepared? I know it's not logical but to me that feels like well, we could've just gotten KU in college then if we were just going to wing it. He's coming around to understanding that if we're planning to have a baby, I don't plan to wait until a BFP to start preparing for them.

KristoKekerooni · April 2016

@meilay - Exactly, I like to prepare. That's why I have tons of clothes and diapers. I even already have a dresser I refinished that I am saving for baby. I have some room decor, I even have a few gender-neutral outfits I made. My DH is coming around a bit too,. When I asked what he wanted for Vday last month, he decided he wanted to go baby shopping a bit and we bought a few things together. I would rather slowly buy everything I need and end up donating if it truly comes to that than be bombarded with needing to buy a ton of stuff. Obviously we have insurance to cover the delivery, but that doesn't include the deductible and then the baby's deductible... etc. When I am KU I'd rather not have to worry about how we are going to pay the hospital bill, and buy everything the baby needs, and how to cover all the bills during my unpaid time off of work during that 6-12 weeks off. When I explained it to him from a money standpoint, he was way more accepting.

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