Hi mummies to be, me and my husband is now currently living with his parents, at his parents house while waiting for our new home which will be ready not so soon, in about 3 years time. Problem is, they have 7 dogs in the house! Is the environment safe for a newborn baby?
Re: Dogs and baby
I have 1 lab and my parents brought home a hat that my newborn had worn the first day after she was born. My parents let my dog sniff the hat (we were still in the hospital) and kept the hat with my dog after they left. After we brought the baby home we let the dog sniff the baby and we're constantly monitoring his reaction to the baby. Over time he got used to her and we never had any problems.
Be sure to start teaching your LO from a young age too how to interact with and pet the dogs appropriately.
The one area we haven't quite worked out is food-- DS leaves the pup alone when he eats...but we've had to resort to forcing them to separate when DS eats otherwise our dog will beg for food from DS until he shares. (I'm open to suggestions if anyone has a working solution to this one other than separating them!)
Check out familypaws.com for really good information on introducing dogs and babies. Read up on dog body language and how to tell if they are uncomfortable. This is especially inportant as your LO becomes more mobile and curious. On average, dogs give 20-30 warning signals before they bite, and the majority of people miss these signals. Many people say their dog bit their kid out of nowhere, but that simply isn't true. And again- I can't stress this enough- always always ALWAYS supervise all dog/child interactions, and always separate them if the dog is uncomfortable or the child is harassing it in some way (chasing/crawling after, grabbing, etc).
I 100% agree with dog trainer post. Never leave baby and ESPECIALLY toddler alone with any dog, for any amount of time. Even the most gentle dogs have a breaking point!
As for introducing baby to dogs- with my experience I just made no big deal about it. We came home, I greeted the dogs and acted if nothing had changed. They both investigated in their own time, and were completely uninterested after the first sniff.
Something we are doing is gradually trying to wean them from their couch and bed privileges. I'm having a harder time "training" DH to accept this vs the dogs themselves lol.
First Pregnancy
Second Pregnancy
- BFP: 09/11/2015
- EDD: 05/25/2016
Baby Born04/15/2016
PGAL
DS: Born 5-17-16
We have baby gates to separate parts of the house when we can't have direct eye contact on everyone at once. We have also watched other people's dogs for short periods in our home during that time period of when baby was born to now.
I know dogs, I like dogs, and I liked growing up with dogs myself and like that my LO is too. We have taught LO how to act around animals.
However, never do I trust either the dogs (or most dogs in general) or LO for a second. It is my job as the human adult to supervise all interactions in the household and I take it very seriously.
Even with that being said 7 dogs that are not mine and not under my control and watchful eye would be a complete and total deal breaker for me. Not even negotiable. I have seen too much in the dog world. Most people do not take dog behavior seriously and have no idea what to look for and mistakes are too costly here.
Dog training is a large investment in time and money and it is a way of life for dogs with any issues, are they willing to go for that? Are they willing to gate off areas? Are they willing to 100% respect your feelings as LO's mother on this? Or will they figure they know best for your baby? Are they willing to clean more frequently once baby is on the move, including frequent steam cleaning of carpets - in addition to all the extra vacuuming per day? Will any of the dogs eat baby toys, who will replace them?
My experience with an in law who liked to bring a large breed pet dog for overnights (that has attempted to bite people before) are that the relative would miss the signals and even when asked would not keep the dog away from our baby/toddler, instead insisting the dog was great around kids or whatever else was the phrase of the day that day, basically it wasn't a big deal to that owner that the dog had a history and the parents wished to keep that history and their child separate.
I have seen a lot of attitudes like that, where the owners believe their dog is just the friendliest thing ever and so sweet, etc., yet the signs and signals are all there that the dog is not comfortable and is not "being friendly" at all.
That was just one dog, not 7. I would not keep my own baby, toddler, or young child with 7 dogs that are not my own in the in laws house.
Been married since 2009.
Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
Several MCs
DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
Find a way to leave. Your in laws won't be on your side concerning their 7 dogs; where does DH stand in this?
This is a great question to ask the pediatrician you have picked out. Most ask standard questions, including how many pets and what kind.
Personally I would be concerned about the puddles and other business in the house on the floor where LO will be rollling and crawling and how your LO will be crawling right at bite/scratch/paw in the face level given their behavior.
I would care, a lot, about having a newborn baby exposed to seven poorly housetrained dogs' worth of pee and poop, not to mention their (apparently) rowdy behavior and the owners' lack of concern. If they can't be bothered to even potty train their own dogs, let alone address the other issues... well, that's not promising, and personally I'd be looking for somewhere else to stay.
I asked my OB and pediatrician about fur and they weren't too concerned, as long as overall everything was fairly clean. The poop is way more concerning for me.
However, your in-laws do have a right to keep their dogs since it is their home. In my own work with families, I've found it's much better for everyone involved to work together and make compromises, rather than make demands ("you need to get rid of the dog" "it's your dog so you need to do XYZ" etc). If you can, try to find a good trainer with experience working with families that can help you find solutions that work for your entire family.
Like PP have said, the pee and poo on the floor is very troubling and there is no quick fix. I know you mentioned you are with your in laws for the next three years but is there any way you can move out sooner? Is it possible you can find a more sanitary temporary living situation? I just can't imagine how your situation can be solved in the short time before the baby comes, dog training takes a lot of work and is a huge commitment that the entire household needs to make. We invested a lot of time and money to train our dogs when we rescued them and even with daily reinforcement they still have their challenges.
Sadly, our only choice is to wait for our new home that is coming in 3 years, as the house that we are getting is "built-to-order". I guess the only solution is to let my baby spend more time at my own place (my parents'), and lesser time spent at my in laws'. And to keep utmost attention not to let my baby be left alone with the 7 dogs or letting him be exposed to the area where they always do their business at. Best way is to let my baby be in our room, and not letting the dogs in. Any better ideas?
My dog was so stressed out by the situation that she completely forgot her house training and started leaving messes for us to find all over the house.
The only solution I could find was to make sure that we let her out frequently - every three to four hours, and on a schedule if possible - which greatly helped to reduce the amount of messes we would be cleaning up later. We regularly rented a steam cleaner to wash the carpeted areas where she would go most frequently, and kept the carpet as clean as possible in between rentals so she would be less likely to smell herself in that area and be tempted to make yet another mess. We also put a baby gate up in the area leading to MIL's room and the nursery, so she couldn't make messes in that area.
Puppy pads never helped. She just ignored them.
MIL passed away in December, and we've been sticking to the stuff we were doing before. It's been a VERY gradual process, but it's been getting longer and longer in between the times I'd have to clean up after her. The last time I had to do anything was about four weekends ago, which is a huge improvement.
I'm dreading how things will go when LO is here - hopefully there won't be a backslide.
There's a big difference between training one dog vs several, but maybe you can talk to your in-laws about some of these things? Like during the day, make sure they get frequent and regular bathroom breaks. And at night, let them out anytime you get out of bed (you and DH will probably be getting up every few hours anyway).
Definitely block off the area(s) you will be staying in, and talk to your ILs about taking care of the carpets if you can get them on board. Invest in a good vacuum cleaner and use it regularly on the carpets/upholstery that the dogs have access to. Fur might be harmless, but seven dogs' worth is an awful lot. Especially if you live somewhere that summer is about to start, in which case they will be shedding even more.
Personally, I'd be keeping my eye out for other options in the meantime in terms of places to stay. But hopefully some of these things will help you get some peace of mind until then.
i think door gates and restricted access to certain areas in the house is Deffo a way to go. At least ud be able to keep those areas sanitary. Anyway they could have their own space outside ie kennels.
The fact they aren't 100% house trained is just gross and dangerous to your kid's health.
Instead of saving up to buy a place in a few years, it sounds like you'd be better off finding somewhere else now.
When the baby comes, we are planning on bringing the dog used clothes and blankets from the hospital home for her to inspect, and we are being very insistent to the dog sitters that the dog has to be at the house before the baby comes home. We dont want to sneak the baby in while she's gone. We want to make sure the dog knows we are bringing something new into her home. Is it really "her" home? No, but we don't want something new to "invade" her space and make her to possibly become territorial.
She is a beagle/hound mix. We are hoping that involving her as much as we can will help. (We've even been practicing walks with the stroller, which she has been ok walking beside. Embarrassing to walk an empty stroller, but benificial to know she isn't scared, etc. of the stroller.) We are lucky to have such a great dog, but they're an animal, and can be very unpredictable. We're not taking any chances.
Also really get everyone on board with never leaving the baby alone with the dogs loose. Look for training books that have pictures of when dogs are giving stress signals because it is so much easier to understand with pictures.
And tell your hubby this professional dog trainer says he will *not* magically get better when the baby arrives, he'll probably get worse!
OP, Hiding out in your room with baby in a house with 7 dogs who use the house as their bathroom and are not trained is not a good temporary solution- much less a 3 year solution. Speak with your DH. I hope you can get out there very soon.
DS: Born 5-17-16
I will say that dogs can over time calm down when it comes to this. Sometimes it is a matter of exposure and de-sensitizing them. The first time ever that my 90 lb retriever mix saw me pick up a child he tried to knock him out of my arms. These days? He lays at my feet when I'm holding nieces and nephews. At this point, I'm hardly worried about him when it comes time to bring the baby home although we will be keeping to all of the standard introduction instructions: bringing home items that smell like the baby, walking in first to great the dogs alone post hospital before bringing the baby in etc.