Easter Sunday we told all of our family that we're pregnant. With the exception of a few people who I told the second I found out. One of those people is my best friend (and hubby's sister). We have been best friends for 20 years. Unfortunately she has no children and has had several losses and I'm very sensitive to that. So Easter dinner we shared with his family (she was there and was aware before hand that we would be sharing the news so that she could prepare). His family was of course very excited, especially his 64 year old mom who has only 1 grandchildren that lives across the state. Well she storms out of the room crying. And their mom and her hubby leave the dinner table to comfort her. WTF?! She came back 10 minutes later red faced and proclaims that they're leaving. So the rest of the evening guess what the conversations were about? Her pain and her suffering. Really? My daughter (we're a blended family) went up to her to hug her because she loves her aunt and she rolled her eyes and just said "um...ok" and didn't hug her back. I was so angry. She stole the entire evening. She stole that moment from us. Their mom talked to me about it and said that it's her fault for being so openly excited but said it's going to be hard for her to contain her excitement. WTF?! So my best friend really expects us to all contain our excitement? How can she act this way? I would never treat her this way and do that. I get that it's hard for her but being a selfish bitch isn't okay. It really put a dark cloud on our sunny moment. Maybe my pregnancy hormones aren't helping the situation and I'm the one being selfish here but it's not exactly how you envision how telling everyone will go!
@Krysta2015 I think if she knew ahead of time, she definitely over-reacted. I can understand if she got upset and had to excuse herself for a bit. But to storm out seems a bit much. Obviously, I don't know her side of the story and whether or not she just had a rough day/week that she didn't tell you about. But if she knew, and knew it would be especially hard for her that day, she could have opted out of even coming.
@PeggyOlsonFTW I'm an avid wheel watcher and I'm always shouting at the TV. On another note about that show, Pat Sajak is probably my least favorite game show host. He just comes off snarky to me, maybe it's having to deal with obnoxious contestants all the time.
I never thought I would say this, having been a lurker for such a long time with previous pregnancies, but NOW I get it. Sooo, the freaking SS's coming out of the woodwork lately with random ridiculous posts. I try to be nice, never knew how much this would annoy me! Lol read the threads and figure it out, it's not hard and they are all lucky we are a pretty nice group!
Thirdly (sorry so much to say today), HOW do people still fall for Catfish, I just don't get it!!!
I actually felt human today. Nausea at a minimum, had more energy than usual, felt upbeat and happy, satisfied an awesome craving and had a good day with DS. Nice...
@br0co1ii - Thanks for your reply. It makes me feel a little less like my crazy hormones aren't getting the best of me. I tend to be a little too selfless but this really got to me. We are def opposites. She loves the spotlight and is selfish. And I am more reserved and selfless. I guess she just couldn't handle all of the emotions she was feeling + not being the center of the get together. UGH. There's not a lot I can do about it. She has treated me like I have leprosy for the last 5 weeks that she has known and even told me she's not happy for me so I guess this is just the way it is. Pretty sad.
@Krysta2015 I'm much the same as you, hyper sensitive to everyone else's feelings before my own. I suffered losses myself (as did many on this board) and I've endured many friends and family becoming pregnant/having babies. Each time it hurt because it was something I longed for but never would I not be happy for friends or family. For her to say that to you is pretty awful and I'm sorry she did and for that entire episode to have occurred. You gave her the kindness of telling her beforehand and I would have been incredibly upset. Hopefully she will snap out of it, especially if she's a friend of 20 years!
Easter Sunday we told all of our family that we're pregnant. With the exception of a few people who I told the second I found out. One of those people is my best friend (and hubby's sister). We have been best friends for 20 years. Unfortunately she has no children and has had several losses and I'm very sensitive to that. So Easter dinner we shared with his family (she was there and was aware before hand that we would be sharing the news so that she could prepare). His family was of course very excited, especially his 64 year old mom who has only 1 grandchildren that lives across the state. Well she storms out of the room crying. And their mom and her hubby leave the dinner table to comfort her. WTF?! She came back 10 minutes later red faced and proclaims that they're leaving. So the rest of the evening guess what the conversations were about? Her pain and her suffering. Really? My daughter (we're a blended family) went up to her to hug her because she loves her aunt and she rolled her eyes and just said "um...ok" and didn't hug her back. I was so angry. She stole the entire evening. She stole that moment from us. Their mom talked to me about it and said that it's her fault for being so openly excited but said it's going to be hard for her to contain her excitement. WTF?! So my best friend really expects us to all contain our excitement? How can she act this way? I would never treat her this way and do that. I get that it's hard for her but being a selfish bitch isn't okay. It really put a dark cloud on our sunny moment. Maybe my pregnancy hormones aren't helping the situation and I'm the one being selfish here but it's not exactly how you envision how telling everyone will go!
I have so many mixed feelings about this. Yes, having known about your announcement ahead of time it does seem like she overreacted. But having a loss of my own (and I can't even imagine enduring multiple losses) I totally understand the devastation you can feel when someone close to you is pregnant. It does NOT excuse her for saying she's not happy for you, but I do think the situation warrants some understanding from you.
My SIL is also my best friend and she had a miscarriage about four months before I got pregnant with DS. We were all hyper aware of her feelings and yes, many times contained our excitement when she was around. She did her best to be happy and interested in my pregnancy, but it was really difficult for her. My parents and extended family just saved most of their questions and exuberance for times she wasn't in the room. I didn't feel like any moments were stolen or dampened, it was just a situation we handled carefully because SIL is family (and my best friend) and we love her.
@Krysta2015 I've totally been the person that aches when I heard someone's good news. After a loss, unexplained if, and all that jazz I would absolutely cry in my car after someone's announcement, and would block close friends on Facebook. But I would Never steal someone's moment and make it about myself. My pain is my own, and if I needed to reach out to my support system they'd be there for me. And I can't imagine telling someone close to me that I'm not happy for them. I'm very sorry you had to go through that- you deserve your excitement!! And your daughter did Not deserve to be blown off by her aunt. Out of everything, I think that moment is the one that would make me cut ties.
Hi all--not sure if it's worth starting a separate thread at this point, but have any of you started thinking about childbirth classes? There are some mentions in the med-free birth thread but that one is so much broader. Specifically I'm leaning toward Bradley method and it's recommended to start in the 5th month, so I'm thinking I might want to find and register for a class now. Just curious what others think--and if you lovelies think it merits its own thread! (And apologies if it exists and I missed it, my search tool keeps freezing so I figured I'd start here!)
And @krysta2015, that just plain sucks. I've also inadvertently made an announcement awkward for a friend in the past after my loss (I hadn't seen her in a while so she didn't know about my mmc, it had only been a few weeks and she surprised me with her u/s pic in the car and I burst into tears)--but even then it was just us, and I tried so hard to make it clear that while I had my own pain, it was separate and didn't take away from the happiness I felt for her, and that I wanted her to know our friendship was about sharing both the good and bad and I didn't want her to have to hide her happiness around me.
It's really sad that your friend hasn't been able to get to that place, and that now it's causing even more pain by hurting you. I hope she heals soon and can see how her actions hurt you, so you can heal from that sting too!
@Krysta2015 You have every right to be upset, especially to vent in an appropriate forum as you are doing. You prepared her ahead of time. If she had trouble with the news, she should have avoided the situation, asked you to announce after she left (assuming she didn't want to miss Easter with the family) or otherwise taken responsibility for her own feelings. It is hard and it hurts when someone else is able to achieve something we can't, or gets something we want very badly. There's nothing wrong with her feeling awful about it or even leaving, but making the moment about her is certainly inconsiderate - not only for you, but for her mother. You definitely deserve to celebrate, and that might merit taking some time for you to spend with your husband's family without his sister, even one on one with your mother-in-law, so you can talk excitedly about the upcoming arrival. That might also help you feel fulfilled enough to show less excitement around her if she's just not emotionally able to handle it.
I'll admit, I was one of the folks who felt like some of the snark was a bit much for me in the beginning... now, I miss it when it's not there and go looking for it in other places when things are quiet here. It's also so much harder for me to keep my own snark to myself now lol
My husband and I both have stomach virus and I'm just praying so hard that our 10 month old doesn't get it too. Being pregnant and sick + sick with virus is miserable.
I'm 12w2d (based on dating scan, based on LMP I'd be 13w4d) and for some reason this week I cannot stop eating and feel exhausted. My first tri symptoms eased up for two weeks but now I'm suddenly starving and tired all day long. I assume it's some type of growth spurt for the baby but I am constantly hungry. I couldn't even make it on my 30 min commute home without stopping for food. If it stays like this I'm afraid I'll gain 50+ lbs this pregnancy.
filling in for the Admin at a different location for my job, AND I HATE IT HEREEEEEE!!!!!! Thought this would be my last week at this location but suddenly they are requesting that i come back for another week. i can't wait to go back to my office and be around "My" people.
I work at a wine store two evenings a week (because discounts). I got showered, dressed and felt like I was looking pretty good. Halfway to work I realized I forgot to put on goddamn deodorant. I was so close to feeling awesome tonight
Hi all--not sure if it's worth starting a separate thread at this point, but have any of you started thinking about childbirth classes? There are some mentions in the med-free birth thread but that one is so much broader. Specifically I'm leaning toward Bradley method and it's recommended to start in the 5th month, so I'm thinking I might want to find and register for a class now. Just curious what others think--and if you lovelies think it merits its own thread! (And apologies if it exists and I missed it, my search tool keeps freezing so I figured I'd start here!)
@AllyTheKid I just went and stalked that spanking board, oh Mylanta!
@cassieleeanne you have to go to the birth month boards to March 2016 and they have a thread with birth announcements. They must have taken down anything that was a bit over the top, I saw a TOU violation or two on some posts lol
@AllyTheKid I just went and stalked that spanking board, oh Mylanta!
@cassieleeanne you have to go to the birth month boards to March 2016 and they have a thread with birth announcements. They must have taken down anything that was a bit over the top, I saw a TOU violation or two on some posts lol
Sad because I didn't see the over the top birth announcement either! Description please?
I cooked dinner tonight and the smell of the food cooking didn't make me nauseous enough that I couldn't eat it. Whoop whoop! I feel like that's a huge win since I haven't been able to cook and eat after since pretty soon after my BFP
@annabenanna um where to start lol one person posted a pic, half was of the baby and half was of the entire placenta. And then they also posted a pic right after the birth in the tub, everything hanging out with...blood and things floating around in the water. Sorry that was just too much for me.
I think someone else posted the actual birth pictures with the baby coming out and everything.
Also, I'm still really upset over an incident last Friday about a mile from my home where someone discovered a newborn baby in a garbage compactor (before it was run, thank God). The babe was still bloody and had the placenta attached. The babe was taken to the local hospital and will be fine but the hunt is on for the mother (no leads so far). I'm absolutely heartbroken for that babe, especially because of the safe haven laws in WA state where she could have taken the babe to a fire station (there's one a quarter mile from where the babe was found!) and given them up. Instead, she chose to endanger the babe's life. Thank God the woman who found the babe trusted her instincts and jumped in to find the source of the crying.
@early30mom4031 I ate through my last pregnancy and only gained 30 pounds, I was surprised. I keep hoping that it goes the same this time. I had dinner at 6 and it's 8 and I want a snack.
I'm hoping it goes the same for me. I lost a lot of weight last year so I'm panicking over keeping my weight gain reasonable. With my son I gained 37 but I don't ever remember being constantly hungry like I am now.
@kmalls Because she is my best friend and family, I have given her a lot more grace than I would any other person. I have experienced loss myself so I am very understanding and sensitive. And I have been extremely understanding to her. If her approach had been a little more kind, that would have been one thing but her approach this entire time has left me very hurt. The things she has said to me since she found out I was pregnant have left a wound and I couldn't imagine saying those things and treating my best friend the way she has me. This was our announcement, not just hanging out chatting about pregnancy. She has treated me like a trader and created tension where there shouldn't be any. This is her niece or nephew for goodness sake.
@ladyshark311 - Thanks! Yeah I totally get those feelings of sadness but at the same time, being happy for that person. I think one of the reason she's so bitter is that she just had a loss so the pain is still very fresh. But she got pregnant shortly after one of my losses and I only had feelings of happiness for her.
Has anyone found a bra they like?! I was holding off on buying a maternity bra but now mine are starting to give me actual backaches. Wasn't sure if this needed a new thread?
Re: Weekly Randoms: March 28th
EDD: 10/30/16
I never thought I would say this, having been a lurker for such a long time with previous pregnancies, but NOW I get it. Sooo, the freaking SS's coming out of the woodwork lately with random ridiculous posts. I try to be nice, never knew how much this would annoy me! Lol read the threads and figure it out, it's not hard and they are all lucky we are a pretty nice group!
Thirdly (sorry so much to say today), HOW do people still fall for Catfish, I just don't get it!!!
Thanks for your reply. It makes me feel a little less like my crazy hormones aren't getting the best of me. I tend to be a little too selfless but this really got to me. We are def opposites. She loves the spotlight and is selfish. And I am more reserved and selfless. I guess she just couldn't handle all of the emotions she was feeling + not being the center of the get together. UGH. There's not a lot I can do about it. She has treated me like I have leprosy for the last 5 weeks that she has known and even told me she's not happy for me so I guess this is just the way it is. Pretty sad.
EDD: 10/30/16
My SIL is also my best friend and she had a miscarriage about four months before I got pregnant with DS. We were all hyper aware of her feelings and yes, many times contained our excitement when she was around. She did her best to be happy and interested in my pregnancy, but it was really difficult for her. My parents and extended family just saved most of their questions and exuberance for times she wasn't in the room. I didn't feel like any moments were stolen or dampened, it was just a situation we handled carefully because SIL is family (and my best friend) and we love her.
DS1: 5 ; DS2: 4m
Baby #3 Due 9/7/17
And your daughter did Not deserve to be blown off by her aunt. Out of everything, I think that moment is the one that would make me cut ties.
And @krysta2015, that just plain sucks.
I've also inadvertently made an announcement awkward for a friend in the past after my loss (I hadn't seen her in a while so she didn't know about my mmc, it had only been a few weeks and she surprised me with her u/s pic in the car and I burst into tears)--but even then it was just us, and I tried so hard to make it clear that while I had my own pain, it was separate and didn't take away from the happiness I felt for her, and that I wanted her to know our friendship was about sharing both the good and bad and I didn't want her to have to hide her happiness around me.
It's really sad that your friend hasn't been able to get to that place, and that now it's causing even more pain by hurting you. I hope she heals soon and can see how her actions hurt you, so you can heal from that sting too!
Being pregnant and sick + sick with virus is miserable.
Also, I want to clarify that I stalk for the "aww factor." That was the first holy sh** moment!
@cassieleeanne you have to go to the birth month boards to March 2016 and they have a thread with birth announcements. They must have taken down anything that was a bit over the top, I saw a TOU violation or two on some posts lol
I think someone else posted the actual birth pictures with the baby coming out and everything.
BFP: February 2016 EDD: October 17, 2016
BFP: February 2016 EDD: October 17, 2016
EDD: 10/30/16
EDD: 10/30/16
EDD: 10/30/16