Scared of Breastfeeding

drablnd · March 2016

So I feel so weird posting this but I need some advice and support. Lately, I've been having to watch breastfeeding videos and how to's trying to prepare for when my beautiful baby girl gets here but the more I watch videos the more intimidated and freaked or i get by breastfeeding. I know it's the best thing you can do for your baby and I really want to try but I can't get over this feeling. I even thought that maybe I'd just exclusively pump and avoid the uncomfortable feelings I have but then it's been pointed out to me that mom's who exclusively pump have a limited supply and have problems producing enough for the baby. So I'm at a loss right now and not sure where to go from here. Formula feeding isn't the end of the world but I really want to figure out how to get past feeling uncomfortable with breastfeeding so I at least have a choice.

KidShrink · March 2016

What is it about it that makes you feel uncomfortable (not being judgey here, just trying to get an understanding of what your fear(s) is)?

kbrands7 · March 2016

I think watching too much of how others do it before you have a baby might be overwhelming. It's good to have some knowledge going in, a few positions to try, and resources to contact/check if you have trouble (Le Leche League and kellymom.com!) Beyond that, I'd try going into it with an open mind. If it's still not for you and you want to pump, the best ways to keep your supply healthy while pumping are similar to bf: eat enough, drink lots of water, utilize skin to skin time, take advantage of high early morning prolactin when feeding/pumping, and specifically for pumping: power pump once per day or at least a couple times per week (10 min on, 10 min off for an hour to simulate cluster feeding). Also be sure to get in 8+ pumps per day for a solid supply until LO establishes his/her appetite-- then adjust to be sure to pump whatever amount LO eats each day. If neither work for you, then formula feed. I strongly believe in breastfeeding, but I also strongly believe in doing what gives you the best relationship with your baby-- and only you can judge what that will be.

PYLWhammy · March 2016

Don't feel weird posting, I think it's really normal to feel overwhelmed or intimidated by the prospect of breastfeeding. I would really urge you to meet with a lactation consultant, either before birth or immediately following.
And you are absolutely right that formula isn't the end of the world!

but if you want to try breastfeeding, then you should.

slfezz · March 2016

Just remember that any you feed the baby is just fine. It's just feeding LO that's important whether it's breastmilk for formula.

I BF my two kids for 6 months and then swapped to formula after my supply tanked. I will admit that BF my first one was weird at first (it does feel different than anything else done to my nipples) but I was worked through that quickly.

If you can describe what exactly is freaking you out about BF, I may be able to supply some better advice.

saladflambe · March 2016

I'm actually really glad that you posted this, because I'm struggling majorly with the breastfeeding choice myself, and I don't feel like there's anyone I am really comfortable talking to about it. Are you comfortable sharing what's scaring you? What your feelings are? I will share mine...

Trigger Warning for talk of sexual violence.

For me, I was sexually assaulted when I was 18, and the assault was specifically aimed at causing immense physical pain to that part of my body. I've gone through a few other less-violent assaults and was also raped, and all of it combined has left me with just a LOT of emotional issues related to sex and my body in general. This whole pregnancy has actually been really difficult because of these things as well.

My fears over breastfeeding are numerous: I'm afraid of physical pain. I rather hate that part of my body, and I'm upset that they've grown, and the idea of them being like this long-term is upsetting. I do not view breastfeeding as sexual, but the idea of anyone's mouth there, even a baby's, really upsets me anyways. I also fear that I will resent the baby for "having a right to" that part of my body. I fear that when the baby "demands the breast," I will react with anger and resentment. I fear that breastfeeding may be the opposite of a bonding experience for me. I also would like to go back on my antidepressants, but I do not want her to consume any through breast milk. If I do pump or breastfeed, I will not be comfortable taking the antidepressant that I know works for me.

You'd think my choice would be obvious, but, on the flip side, I wonder at the chance of being able to tie something positive to that part of my body. If I could experience pride, strength, etc. from the experience, breastfeeding could be immensely healing. I also feel obligated to supply breast milk. I feel a lot of pressure to breastfeed or at least pump.

I don't know what I'm going to do. Not to be gross, but last night, for the first time ever, I produced a drop of colostrum. Just one drop. It caused a 3-hour meltdown. I feel like the baby owns my body and like I am disappearing. My body feels more hers than mine, and I just got so upset.

I'm in rather intense therapy, and given how pregnancy has played out, I'm basically guaranteed to have post-partum depression and anxiety. It may be more beneficial for everyone for me to formula feed and go back on my medication. On the other hand, I am struggling with feeling so much pressure to breastfeed. I'm working with my therapist to figure out what I'm going to do.

doozer1345 · March 2016

I'm with PP..what makes you feel uncomfortable? You'll need to tackle that first. Second, part of BFing is your mindset going into it. Thirdly, is research BUT the kind of research that doesn't overwhelm you or stress you out is the most helpful. Are you able to tale a class? Go see an LC? Does your hospital you're birthing at have LC's you can utilize there while you're there and after? Also, I spoke to DD's pediatrician at length about BFing as well and she had a lot of great support and tips on what to do. I went in knowing I needed to BF asap after birth (which ended up being closer to an hour after due to c section and another quick surgery), I had nursing bras/tanks with me, and had read some about BFing ahead of time (I mean very basic info). I BF wonderfully initially. The only thing I had to work on in the hospital with an LC was DD's latch but that won't come until she was here. Don't overwhelm yourself. At least give yourself credit for wanting the best for your child (whether it be BFing or understanding you may FF) because that's your first step at being a good mom. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Take it one step at a time. You're new at this. GL

ETA: Food for thought... Oxytocin is released when you BF which is the same hormones that are released with orgasm, eating chocolate...My let down felt like the first feeling you get when a pain pill kicks in. Makes you all lovey dovey too

Just something positive that comes from BFing aside from benefiting LO

rlworzalla · March 2016

I've been struggling with the idea of BF too, so I'm glad someone came out and posted about it. Though I don't view BF as sexual in nature, that area of my body is a big part of foreplay for me, and the idea of a child utilizing the same area as DH seems conflicting in my mind. I want what's best for LO, and maybe I would feel different if we were having a girl than a boy, or because it's my first and I've never experience BF before, but I hope that my feelings will change. I feel like I should automatically be able to separate the two situations (one sexual, one natural) but for some reason it's become extremely hard to do so.

drablnd · March 2016

To be honest I'm not exactly sure what is making me uncomfortable. I have seen people breastfeeding before and my step mom breast fed my way younger siblings right next to me growing up and it wasn't a big deal. There was just something about watching the videos that made me uncomfortable. I think it has something to do with the idea of desexualizing my nipples and getting used to them constantly being touched. I've never been a big fan of mine being played with and I just figured because breast feeding was natural that it wouldn't affect my desire to breastfeed but maybe thats why. Or it could just be the overwhelming amount of information I took in today that freaked me out. Thank you ladies for the advice

gardenandread · March 2016

I felt really weird about nursing before I had my first, and even for the first couple days after having him, but I always thought maybe it was just because I was overthinking it. Even now thinking about it makes me feel uncomfortable. Once I am/was actually doing it though, it felt really natural. I was just doing it- not thinking about doing it. You have the baby there to cuddle with, and tv to watch, or a book to read, and it just kind of becomes something you are doing. Hope that helps maybe- it makes sense when I read it, but maybe it's just me

doozer1345 · March 2016

rlworzalla said:

I've been struggling with the idea of BF too, so I'm glad someone came out and posted about it. Though I don't view BF as sexual in nature, that area of my body is a big part of foreplay for me, and the idea of a child utilizing the same area as DH seems conflicting in my mind. I want what's best for LO, and maybe I would feel different if we were having a girl than a boy, or because it's my first and I've never experience BF before, but I hope that my feelings will change. I feel like I should automatically be able to separate the two situations (one sexual, one natural) but for some reason it's become extremely hard to do so.

They will. I can understand your breasts being an object of foreplay and the thought of overcoming that for BFing being impossible. However, it is different. It's not a learned thought process. It just happens. After I BF they became objects of DH's affection again (we cut it off due to the milk and for us...that's just a no go but some people continue though BFing which is fine too bc that's you and your DH's business and preference) and we never missed a beat. I think when something is so new and life changing (milestones) come along it's easy for us to over analyze to the point that something that you may really enjoy doing becomes scary or unfavorable. It takes less energy to just take it as it comes and not be too hard on yourself.

Pascal86 · March 2016

I'm not uncomfortable about the idea or anything, I've just heard a lot of stories of women really struggling with actually being able to, and the distress it causes when they can't. So my plan is just to try it, and if it isn't happening with a reasonable amount of effort, switch to formula. I would just take the same attitude - I think it will be a lot harder if you feel really pressured to do it a certain way anyhow.

lbachran · March 2016

OP and other mom's to be feeling unsure, thank you for posting! I'm honestly not in love with the whole breastfeeding concept and have been researching mimicking cluster feedings through pumping. My insurance covered a hospital grade pump that is supposed to have been tested to improve supply and I honestly feel more comfortable with that.

I understand that it's natural and feelings may change, but I honestly think it's ok to be told that our feelings don't have to change. There's so much pressure related to breastfeeding and it feels like people look at you as though you've grown an extra head if you espouse anything other than positivity about it. I think it's better to go into this experience not assuming our feelings will change or waiting for a euphoric moment and if we're surprised, great. And if not, that's ok too.

Thanks for posting mommas.

camillaandcarson · March 2016

I went to LLL meetings before I had a baby. I knew I wanted to nurse, didn't know how long my "goal" was but had never known of anyone to actually breastfeed in my circle of friends/family and had never heard anything about it (other than reading about the benefits after I was pregnant).
I went to the meetings to build a support network in case of problems (which I had after delivery & they helped so much and I successfully nursed my baby) but I am a very private person and didn't see anyone actually nurse there nor did I want to, I wouldn't have felt comfortable watching the videos either.
What I did feel comfortable with was reading all I could about the benefits and learning different holds.
LLL suggested several great books that gave me the confidence and resolve that nursing was the right choice for my baby, and that along with a support network after baby and picking a baby friendly hospital with a LC readily available and letting DH know how he could best support me so I could support baby made all the difference in my success after delivery and beyond.
Good luck!

emma+karen · March 2016

Don't read or watch too much! There is so much info out there on breastfeeding it can get overwhelming and make you feel like a failure if you have a hard time. (Spoiler alert: lots of us have a hard time and you are not a failure!) With my first had barely any supply; I couldn't even pump, but all the breastfeeding info out there had gotten in my head and convinced me that my baby would be irrevocably damaged if he got a drop of formula. Well, he ended up in the hospital at a month old for failure to thrive and formula saved his life.

I fully plan to try breastfeeding again with this one, but I will not allow myself to stress about it, and if it's not working and he's not gaining we will go to formula right away this time. Go easy on yourself and listen to your body and your instincts and you will be fine!

TinaTho · March 2016

I think it's pretty common to have reservations about it. I really would like to have my body back to myself. I love my child and have been happy to share it for the pregnancy but it's starting to feel a little claustrophobic.

Personally I'm not too excited about doing it, but I will do what is best for her and myself for as long as I can. My goal is 6 months. And if I really can't stand it(which I think mothering instincts will take over and it will be a non issue), then I'll pump. And if that doesn't work, then it's a really good thing someone figured out this whole formula thing.

laurenmdrn16 · March 2016

@saladflambe Thank you for sharing your story. I struggled with those same issues with my son and was afraid of feeling that same resentment when he "needed" my body, given my history as a sexual assault survivor. As things turned out, he rejected my breast and it almost made it worse. I started to think my body wasn't good enough for him and had been spoiled forever by the assaults and spiraled down. In therapy, I was able to discover that though my body is the same body that went through the trauma, I have learned so much and have been able to take back the power from those who hurt me. My son wasn't rejecting me, he was just physically unable to latch and suckle. I would lay awake thinking I was broken, which is something I had felt when MH and I were first intimate after marriage and I realized I just couldn't do certain things that he wanted to try. Even though breastfeeding is not sexual, any time someone else wants access to your body and you are unsure or hesitant, it does bring up some intense feelings and possibly flashbacks. I wrestled with feelings of inadequacy, but started to feel confident that the choices I was making were mine and no one else's. I did pump for about 4 months (my supply never really came in so we always supplemented) and we had a few successful nursing sessions, but the choice to switch exclusively to formula was one I came to feel very comfortable with. I knew that there was a possibility that my anger and resentment was playing a part, but accepted that there are some things I will not always be comfortable with (such as certain sex acts with MH etc) and that is ok. It is my body and I can make the choice. I have the power, and you do too.

To OP and PPs: It is not an easy decision and it is not one that you need to make right away. Give yourself time to get used to the idea of your baby receiving nourishment from your body, but don't feel any shame or guilt if that is not for you. You will be giving your baby love and nourishment, whether from the breast or the bottle, and the most important thing is that you are present and giving love while feeding. If you need to "block it out" or just endure it, you will be doing yourself and your baby a disservice. Will it be hard in the best of circumstances? Yes. And it might hurt and it might make you frustrated. But only you can decide if it is the right choice for you and it doesn't make you any less or more of a mom whichever path you chose. You are an awesome mom just by the fact that you care about your child and want to do what is best.

LadySamLady · March 2016

This is such a great discussion to have.

The idea of breastfeeding doesn't make me uncomfortable (although I did laugh during one of the hand expression videos they showed in our BF class because I'm immature and because, well... nipples) but it is one of the many things about becoming a mother that I just can't imagine. Same with giving birth. Can I picture it as an outsider looking in? Kind of. But from a first person perspective where it is me on the table, me bringing life into the world and then me breastfeeding my LO? Nope, I just can't imagine it. I'm scared and intimidated and freaked the F out but ultimately I have faith that my body will know what to do and faith in my doctor and my support system of family and friends.

alexxbasigner · March 2016

Thank you for the trigger warning! I really appreciate it.

araecasey · March 2016

What a fantastic discussion!

I knew I wanted to bf DD, but was also weirded out by the prospect. I'd never seen bfing but a few times, no one on my family bfed. Plus, my breasts are an event in our sex life, it felt weird to imagine how bfing was going to go. My feelings instantly changed when I met DD and she started nursing, bfing was a rush of love and peace and physically felt nothing like foreplay. That sounds creepy typed out, but I was seriously worried about that. Within my breastfeeding journey, I learned about myself that yes I'm a mother, I'm maternal and gentle and loving at the breast, but I'm still a sexual woman, still a wife. Breasts are multi purpose in our house, just like hands.

I agree with so much of the above.... sometimes more information about bfing is a hindrance, not a help. At least prenatally before baby is at the breast. My doula have me the best advice when Iwas about a week pp: you don't have to have your whole bfing relationship decided right now! You only have control over what's directly in front of you. Right now, I'd focus only on what you need to know for the first few days. And as always, I encourage moms new to breastfeeding to find a la Leche league or other in person support while pregnant to have in your back pocket if you need help.

araecasey · March 2016

Also, bfing doesn't have to be all or nothing. If you choose to use donor milk or formula part time or even most of the time, you can also still breastfeed if you want. Milk supply isn't static; it ebbs and flows with demand. Wanna only nurse while you're at home and supplement all other times? Your body will adjust.

aecoke · March 2016

I've been a lurker on this board for months (since October, basically), and I just wanted to say this entire thread has been the most important thing I've read in that time. THANK YOU, OP, for posting, and to everyone else here who has contributed. I feel so much better.

GoatSnakeMouse · March 2016

Also want to say THANK YOU for starting this discussion, and also thank you to all of those who have so thoughtfully contributed.

Thinking about breastfeeding (not other people, just me actually doing it) makes me deeply uncomfortable in some emotional way I can't quite identify or explain. It's some combination of anxiety, disgust and self-loathing. My hope is that when I give it a go, all those feelings will melt away and I'll breastfeed happily for like six months. But if they don't I'm fully prepared to formula feed. The last thing I want is for these weird feelings to come between me and my daughter.

NB817 · March 2016

Everyone stop watching BFing videos!!! Especially if they're making you uncomfortable!

BFing seemed a bit weird to me too before I did it. I took the hospital class and of course wanted to giggle through most of it. I had no idea how long I would BF for and honestly that second night of DD cluster feeding I wanted to quit. I didn't though and EBFed until she was 15 months.
I will honestly say that to me BFing was the hardest part about adjusting to motherhood but at the same time it was one of the best parts. Sounds strange but it's how I felt. When I started it was a bit awkward and a bit painful but at the same time it felt so natural. I'm not one of those hippie types at all (DD was a planned C-section from the moment my ob confirmed the pregnancy) but I was super proud of what my body was able to do after having her which I think is why I was able to BF for so long.
Also, for me my nipples were absolutely the most important part of foreplay with DH until I had DD, but guess what...we found other things that turned me on instead and even more. So it worked out.
But everyone should feel fine and comfortable with however they choose to feed their baby. Don't ever let anyone tell you one way is right or wrong. You need to do whatever works for you!!! If you want to try then try it. If you don't want to then don't!
i promise your baby will not love you any less for choosing to feed it formula.

JennyS86 · March 2016

Thanks everyone for sharing real, honest feelings on this issue.

I've been that nurse that tries to help new moms breastfeed their newborns (under-educated, too busy, but well-intentioned). My goal as a nurse was to help the mom/baby in the way that they needed it - not my personal belief.
So, while I've "seen it all", my experience nursing the twins was far from what I expected. My girls took breastmilk via feeding tubes for the first 3.5months of their lives. We tried nursing, but it didn't work out for a number of reasons. I want you, OP, to know that it is possible to maintain, even increase, your supply only by pumping. I pumped for 16months and fed 2 babies, only giving them formula when their doctor had me add formula powder to my breastmilk to increase the caloric value.

I wish you all the best on your newborn journey, whether you feed from the breast, via the pump, formula, or all of the above! Just feed those babes! There is a lot of support on this board, and I hope we will continue to look to each other for support, answers, and camaraderie!

araecasey · March 2016

@JennyS86 I must have missed that you're a nurse! Are you in the NICU or do you work in mother/baby?

JennyS86 · March 2016

araecasey I worked on a high risk antepartum/postpartum unit. If the babies weren't still inside or in the nicu, we tried to help with breastfeeding the best we could! It's been 2 years since I worked there, but at the time, the unit was getting so much more breastfeeding-friendly. The managers were encouraging the nurses the pursue further breastfeeding-education and we finally had enough Symphony pumps for the nicu moms!

drablnd · March 2016

Thank you for everyone's honest answers and I'm glad I'm not in the same boat. I really just how things will change once she's born

Karenpreggo · March 2016

Im so glad you posted this. I have nothing to add except that its nice to hear that Im not alone. Im SO uncomfortable with the idea of BF and there is so much pressure to do it - strangers, clients, family members all assume I will (I intend to power through my squeemihness and try) and offer stories and advice. My OB is constantly pushing BF, very aggressively at that.

I THINK my discomfort comes from my prior life as a dairy worker combined with a fear that Im going to resent the baby for needing me and only me all the time. Particularly since OB says no bottles for 6 weeks. Ive been a bit down this whole pregnancy and am super worried about post partum depression and the BF anxiety doesn't help Ugh.

Nothing to add, just comiserating with you

JoMunson · March 2016

I just wanted to add my support for you ladies. You really opened my eyes. I was definitely in the "breast is best, formula moms wtf" camp until I read about your discomfort and conflicting feelings. I think it was really brave of all of you to be open about your feelings and just know you educated me a lot!
One of my favorite parts of being pregnant is how it really has the opportunity to remove judgement from your life. I know all of you will find what works best for your whole family-yourself included!

arj14 · March 2016

At this point, I'm still unsure about whether I'll try to breastfeed, mainly because of psychotropic medications I take that I'm positive will be undergoing a frequent amount of adjustment. I also feel like I'm constantly depressed, anxious, and stressed out already, and the idea of adding the struggle of breastfeeding to that scares me.

To piggyback off of what @Karenpreggo said, I also get a bit annoyed at the pressure to breastfeed. I looked up baby formula on Consumer Reports and the first part of the article was about how much better it is to breastfeed, and I was just like

Kearney1022 · March 2016

It's so refreshing to see such support on this topic! I'm pregnant with my 2nd child and have some reservations with BFing. It didn't go well with my first son (I blame it on my lack of knowledge - specifically varying positions). I felt so much pressure to ONLY BF that I was starting to resent my baby. I knew I wanted him to get breastmilk and I made the decision to exclusively pump. The pediatrician and a few others really questioned my decision and even told me I wouldn't make it past 2 months. I knew it was the best decision for me and for my baby. I had people (doctors, coworkers, family, etc) tell me to "go back to the breast" (90% of the time, they told me to do that so it would be easier on my husband - so he wouldn't have to wake in the middle of the night to feed the baby while I pumped - that never went over well with me). I never gave up - I was determined to make pumping work best for all of us and it did! I pumped exclusively for 5 months and was able to give my son 6 months worth of breastmilk.

This time around, I took a class to learn more about various positions and to just feel more educated. I hope i'm more successful, but as a second time mom I know not to put unnecessary pressure on myself.... I'll do what I can and make the best of it!

To all you new moms out there - just do what feels best for you! There was no legit reason that BFing wasn't working for me, except it just wasn't. There is such a push to breastfeed that I think it becomes a deterrent to some people.

balamama · March 2016

Kearney1022 said:

To all you new moms out there - just do what feels best for you! There was no legit reason that BFing wasn't working for me, except it just wasn't. There is such a push to breastfeed that I think it becomes a deterrent to some people.

this!!! I wish there was more of this sentiment. I agree that the pressure to breastfeed is overwhelming and daunting and I wish there was more of a "do what works for you" attitude out there.

drablnd · March 2016

Something else I noticed was that formula websites all push for breast feeding as well. It blew my mind because you would think that they would want you to use their product but they were trying to promote bfing when I was trying to research the best formula for babies

ayeshaohara · March 2016

drablnd said:

Something else I noticed was that formula websites all push for breast feeding as well. It blew my mind because you would think that they would want you to use their product but they were trying to promote bfing when I was trying to research the best formula for babies

This may be a legal thing. I know in Australia formula is not allowed to be advertised for infants...only toddlers. So it may be something to do with that.

kbrands7 · March 2016

ayeshaohara said:

drablnd said:

Something else I noticed was that formula websites all push for breast feeding as well. It blew my mind because you would think that they would want you to use their product but they were trying to promote bfing when I was trying to research the best formula for babies

This may be a legal thing. I know in Australia formula is not allowed to be advertised for infants...only toddlers. So it may be something to do with that.

Many countries adopted the WHA standards to regulate formula advertisement. The US has not. My best guess is that by talking about bf, they're aligning themselves with it more firmly to make it an even choice-- like with all of the stop the mommy wars campaigns. Their industry is pretty secure, and government subsidized.

Eta: For those curious about the standards, and wanting to nerd-out on data, here is some of the associated research and country implementation data:https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://apps.who.int/iris/bitstream/10665/85621/1/9789241505987_eng.pdf&ved=0ahUKEwitruKtyeTLAhVF2R4KHeZRAdAQFggdMAE&usg=AFQjCNE94IJ69-LggG3UkRUvtVuW_EsA1Q&sig2=JTwcdxqS2I7PBKQBRHN3bA

Sharra13 · March 2016

Thank you so much for posting! I've realy been impressed with all of the comments here and feel less alone.

I have never been comfortable with the idea of BF and am hoping to exclusively pump. My husband is supportive, but it really does feel like the rest of society is not. BF is pushed SO much that it really does have the opposite effect on me!

TBH, I really just want to skip any sort of breastmilk and do formula only, but I'll always feel ashamed if I don't at least try. I kind of secretly hope that I just can't produce like I should and don't have to worry about it...but also feel like a bad person for even thinking that!

My other hope is that this feeling will just go away once I have an actual baby to feed and it's not just some weird "future thing". Pregnancy has been like that--I was super weirded out by a lot of preggo related things before I started going through it, but now that I'm experiencing it, it's not bothering me like I expected.

lbachran · March 2016

@Kearney1022, really appreciate your story. As someone strongly considering pumping exclusively, it's nice to know someone made it work. (And I too have already been gilted that BFing would be better for DH and his sleep schedule.)

kitandcat · March 2016

I'm not sure that I feel uncomfortable... But I think I just feel super anxious. I think I'm more nervous about breastfeeding than I am about labor and delivery. I am trying not to spend too much time thinking about it - I already have recurring dreams where I forget to feed my baby for several days and then remember suddenly that I have to breastfeed. And in my dream I actually do breastfeed and it's super easy and simple. I'm not sure if my subconscious is trying to stress me out or calm me down with these dreams LOL but it's obviously a sign that I spend too much time worrying about it !! I have a "Breastfeeding Basics" class at my hospital next week and I hope it gives me enough information to be more confident but not too much information that I start overthinking it again.

I'm afraid that the baby just won't do it. I'm afraid that it will hurt. I'm afraid that I will feel let down if it doesn't work out. I'm afraid that even if everything goes wonderfully that it will be so stressful to have to breastfeed so often for so long. I'm afraid that I won't feel support from my husband if I struggle with it because he won't be able to relate and I don't know if he will try and empathize. All of it makes me anxious!

southerngirlgetsfit · April 2016

I have never planned to breastfeed, as it makes me uncomfortable too. I really can't even understand why, it just does. I also struggle with severe anxiety and think it would be best for me and baby if I get back on my meds ASAP when she's born. My doctor said I could not breastfeed on this specific medication. DH is behind my decision 100%. I am finding though, that most people just assume I will BF and I haven't had the guts to correct them, because I feel SO judged. I kind of planned to just let people assume it didn't work for us so we had to resort to formula. Now, I'm thinking WHO CARES. My baby, my choices. Then, I get admitted to L&D last week for contractions and decreased fetal movement, and the nurse is asking me all the general questions. "Do you plan to breastfeed?" comes up and I quickly say no. My husband and I both heard her make a sound like..hm? Then she says "Well have you considered it?" I say no again and she just stares at me. After that, she was never quite as nice! I was shocked, but I'm hoping this nurse is in the minority and I won't be made to feel guilty when I go in to deliver.

VS2016 · April 2016

southerngirlgetsfit said:

I have never planned to breastfeed, as it makes me uncomfortable too. I really can't even understand why, it just does. I also struggle with severe anxiety and think it would be best for me and baby if I get back on my meds ASAP when she's born. My doctor said I could not breastfeed on this specific medication. DH is behind my decision 100%. I am finding though, that most people just assume I will BF and I haven't had the guts to correct them, because I feel SO judged. I kind of planned to just let people assume it didn't work for us so we had to resort to formula. Now, I'm thinking WHO CARES. My baby, my choices. Then, I get admitted to L&D last week for contractions and decreased fetal movement, and the nurse is asking me all the general questions. "Do you plan to breastfeed?" comes up and I quickly say no. My husband and I both heard her make a sound like..hm? Then she says "Well have you considered it?" I say no again and she just stares at me. After that, she was never quite as nice! I was shocked, but I'm hoping this nurse is in the minority and I won't be made to feel guilty when I go in to deliver.

I don't know why it is such a big deal either. The nurses were so pushy with my first I broke down before I even gave breastfeeding a fair shot and my daughter has been the healthiest kid I know. I also find it interesting that in a few years all of us will have taken our child to fast food restaurants.... I know it's not the same but it's just something I think about.

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