Great to hear that I'm not the only one doing a homebirth! I am a FTM so, this will be quite an adventure for my fiance and I! We love and trust our midwife already. She has a great deal of experience and it will cost way less than a hospital birth! It will be so wonderful just to climb into my own bed after the birth and I've heard many times before that a natural birth is NOT as painful as people make it out to be.
I don't think it's not as painful as women make it out to be, but I do think it's way more possible to labor through that pain than a lot of women make it out to be. I think it has a lot to do with your mentality going in. If you want to do it and are determined to do it med free (and if it's not an option with a home both) you can totally do it! When it's not an option you don't feel like your missing out on something. You just do it!
Married 6-1-13 Sebastian 3-11-14 Simon 5-2-15 Baby #3 Due 9-29-16
@Sbrown721 Sounds like you're planning to prepare as much as one can. I think a natural birth is amazing, and I hope the very best for you with yours.
I didn't mean to come off across negative in my first response, but you kind of touched a nerve. I had planned on going epi free as long as possible, but my water broke before my contractions started. So when they started, they were strong and one on top of another. I had no build up and no relief then couldn't get in the labor tub when I wanted because I was given an antibiotic that took 2 hours through the IV. I honestly have no regrets about how my daughter's birth went, but it wasn't what I'd envisioned. I really do hope the best for you with your home birth! And I hope you'll post your birth story here. I love reading any birth story, but especially ones that are so different from my experience.
On the topic of pain during labor and delivery - it really helps to have a good coach. I wanted to try and go without an epidural. I did some classes, but not quite enough. When the contractions really started ramping up in pain and intensity, my husband (my only coach) became an absolute wreck. Seeing me in pain stressed him out like I had never seen before. When I got to the hospital, I asked for an epidural right away. The nurse coached me through a few contractions before I got the epidural and I did so much better. Once I got my epidural, it was a huge relief to my frazzled husband.
@camichael84 Everyone's birth is so different and I am sorry about touching a nerve. Just because I am planning a natural, homebirth doesn't mean it will completely go as planned just as many birth plans do not. I don't care how anyone births their babies, honestly, I'm amazed by any and all mothers and I will be proud of myself no matter what!
I had an epidural with all three of my previous pregnancies. I wanted to try and go without with the last one, but I ended up with a planned c-section because she was breech. Since I last delivered our hospital has gotten gas & air and I think I want to try that for pain management this time.
I'm afraid of a home birth, it seems very messy to me, but more power to you! I know 2 people who have each done the home birth thing twice. No complaints from them. I can say that my first labor I had the epi and the second I did not, the second was a much better experience.
The first my water broke at 6:15am. got to the hospital 7:30, active painful labor from 8-10. Around 9:45 I said I felt like pushing and they said No it's too soon. They had checked me 10 minutes earlier and I was at 8cm. At 10 I got the epi and they checked me right after and said "oh you're at 10cm, do you feel like pushing?" I couldn't feel anything, not even the urge to push so I said no. They let me sit for 2 hours and came back in and said feel like pushing? And I still felt nothing. They checked me and said well baby is starting to come out so you need to push. I couldn't feel the contractions so I had no idea when to push, they had to tell me from the computer monitor when I was supposed to push. Then they said I was pushing wrong, but because I couldn't feel anything I didn't know what the hell they were talking about. 50 Minutes of pushing and I had my baby boy. Basically if I had listened to my instinct and pushed when I felt it, I would have had him 2 hours earlier.
With Baby 2 I didn't have time for the epi. We checked into the hospital at 9:55pm and I was at 9cm. They got me to my room and the doctor said we can break your water now and you'll have a baby in 20 minutes or you can wait 1/2 an hour to finish the IV and then get the epi. I felt like pushing so I said ok break my water. She did, and I could feel my contractions and was able to push through them. Each contraction I felt the urge to push and had relief when I did. 5 pushes and 5 minutes later I had my second baby boy.
I too am worried about having my baby in the car. My last 2 labors were quick so I'm getting to the hospital right away when I feel like I'm in labor. If you really don't want to use drugs, and I truly believe it's a better experience, a home birth is a good way to keep yourself from giving in in the heat of the moment. And you're already home, I know with our second we just wanted to get out of the hospital and get back to our home and be with our boys.
@Sbrown721 After I had DD, I told myself I was never going to insult my body again after it carried and birthed her (I need to keep reminding myself that now). It was the most amazing, empowering feeling, even with it not turning out as I planned.
Great to hear that I'm not the only one doing a homebirth! I am a FTM so, this will be quite an adventure for my fiance and I! We love and trust our midwife already. She has a great deal of experience and it will cost way less than a hospital birth! It will be so wonderful just to climb into my own bed after the birth and I've heard many times before that a natural birth is NOT as painful as people make it out to be.
I don't think it's not as painful as women make it out to be, but I do think it's way more possible to labor through that pain than a lot of women make it out to be. I think it has a lot to do with your mentality going in. If you want to do it and are determined to do it med free (and if it's not an option with a home both) you can totally do it! When it's not an option you don't feel like your missing out on something. You just do it!
I agree with this. I highly recommend taking some birthing classes, and practicing a ton. If you have not practiced enough it is difficult to get back to the right mind space. I had an excellent doula who kept bringing me back on top of the pain, but it was difficult. I will be persuing more pain management methods this time and practicing a ton. It was much more difficult than I anticipated but so worth it. It is true that when you have one option you just do it.
@mamadomino, with our twins coming, we, too, are probably going to get a minivan. I fought it for as long as I could and now the time has come. So sad.
@camichael84 Thanks for the advice! I am fully aware that birthing (naturally OR with medicine) is no walk in the park. That being said, I am participating in prenatal yoga 1-2 times a week and I will be taking a 12 week hypnobirthing class when I get closer to my due date! There is nothing that I can do to fully prepare for birthing, but I can put some tools in my tool kit
I would highly suggest reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. I think it's a great read for all expecting mothers no matter what path they choose to bring their baby into the world.
How much did it cost to have your baby at a hospital that accepted your insurance? Empire BlueCross (my insurance through my job) had this little widget on their website where you put in the procedure and choose a provider, and it spits out the estimated cost and your required contribution. Now, it says that a normal vaginal delivery at the hospital my OBGYN is recommending is going to cost $13,959, and my contribution is $0. This sounds great, but I have read all types of horror stories about women getting outrageous bills for things like diapers and aspirin. Am I missing something? What did you actually walk away having to play the hospital?
With my first child, my deductible was $500 so that is what I owed. With this child, however, my insurance has changed and my deductible is $3,600. I will owe every penny of the estimated $3,000 it's going to cost to birth this baby.
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
Something else to think about is the baby's deductible. We have an 80/20 plan (we pay 100% until we reach $500 then pay 20% until we cap out at $2500 per person) and although I well exceeded my cap with each baby (I had a c-section both times), once baby got here there was a new deductible and the oop expenses started all over for him. All of the hearing and blood testing, the circumcision, room and board... it's all for the baby so it goes to that deductible.
Something else to think about is the baby's deductible. We have an 80/20 plan (we pay 100% until we reach $500 then pay 20% until we cap out at $2500 per person) and although I well exceeded my cap with each baby (I had a c-section both times), once baby got here there was a new deductible and the oop expenses started all over for him. All of the hearing and blood testing, the circumcision, room and board... it's all for the baby so it goes to that deductible.
Agree. But know that all insurances work differently. When DD was born, I had an excellent (though expensive) health plan and my total cost for labor/delivery/anesthesia/etc was a $250 copay and covered at 100% after that. There was supposed to be a separate $250 copay for DD, too, since she's a separate person. But my insurance could never tell me whether or not I would actually get charged twice or not. Technically, I should have but they said "sometimes it doesn't get charged"...something about coming in as one person and leaving as two. So confusing. Anyway, I never got charged that copay for DD. OP - Your best bet is to just have the best understanding possible of your coverage. Your insurance may even be able to provide average total costs for certain things like a vaginal delivery vs. a cesarean, etc.
Are there any BTDT mom's who formula fed baby #1 and decided to try to breastfeed baby #2? With how soon I had to go back to work after DD was born and the hours I worked it just wasn't feasible for me to breastfeed her so she was formula fed from the get go. Now I am a stay at home mom though and my husband really wants me to try breastfeeding this baby. I'm very nervous about this and afraid I'm going to feel like a clueless FTM all over again!
Are there any BTDT mom's who formula fed baby #1 and decided to try to breastfeed baby #2? With how soon I had to go back to work after DD was born and the hours I worked it just wasn't feasible for me to breastfeed her so she was formula fed from the get go. Now I am a stay at home mom though and my husband really wants me to try breastfeeding this baby. I'm very nervous about this and afraid I'm going to feel like a clueless FTM all over again!
Yes. I did. I very much felt like a clueless FTM about it. There are many resources that will help you. If you're really nervous, try reading about it. Maybe somebody else can suggest a good book that will help you know what to expect? Once I got through the first few weeks, breastfeeding was so much easier than formula feeding. I didn't have all the stuff to lug everywhere. All I had to bring was diapers, wipes and a change of clothes for baby.
@VeraMali some great breastfeeding resources that really helped me figure it all out was kellymom.com It will be helpful now to give you an idea what to expect. But I found it most helpful when you are actually doing it. It has answers to SO MANY QUESTIONS. Many of which may not apply to you, but it will be helpful when you are going through it to find that one answer you really need help with. Definitely check it out and bookmark it for later
Are there any BTDT mom's who formula fed baby #1 and decided to try to breastfeed baby #2? With how soon I had to go back to work after DD was born and the hours I worked it just wasn't feasible for me to breastfeed her so she was formula fed from the get go. Now I am a stay at home mom though and my husband really wants me to try breastfeeding this baby. I'm very nervous about this and afraid I'm going to feel like a clueless FTM all over again!
This isn't quite the same, but I nursed my first for about 4 months and then switched her to formula because I hated breastfeeding. With my second, I was determined not to wimp out and just stick with it, plus formula was really expensive and not in our budget at that time. I read two books that really helped me: The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding. Invaluable books and gave me a lot of confidence. Also, the lactation consultant in the NICU was a God send and helped me immensely to conquer my fears. So maybe also seeing a lactation consultant would help as well.
I also want to add, that if you give it your best shot and still find breast feeding is not for you, there's no shame in switching to formula, but I'd encourage you to try it out for the first 8 weeks or so.
Are there any BTDT mom's who formula fed baby #1 and decided to try to breastfeed baby #2? With how soon I had to go back to work after DD was born and the hours I worked it just wasn't feasible for me to breastfeed her so she was formula fed from the get go. Now I am a stay at home mom though and my husband really wants me to try breastfeeding this baby. I'm very nervous about this and afraid I'm going to feel like a clueless FTM all over again!
I am a FTM and I am totally clueless about breastfeeding. There are some great resources out there. I am attending a group called La Leche League for an hour once a month (it's free) and it has been SO SO helpful. It's a big group of moms sitting around with their babies in a circle breastfeeding and bringing up any concerns that they have and answering questions. I am typically the only one there who is pregnant (everyone else already has their baby), but they are so kind and make sure to answer any and all of my questions and I just get to sit there and soak it all up!
I had a very similar experience to @sunshineinmay09. I was only able to exclusively breastfeed my first for 4 months and just couldn't do it. Plus I got pregnant. With my second it was a much better experience it was much easier not having to go back to work! I think it helps a ton if you are right there with baby and feed on demand. Then your body produces exactly what baby needs. The first 6 weeks or so I do plenty of pumping bc there is so much milk! And it's nice to have a stash for later. But after that ideally your body should hopefully make exactly what baby needs. Good luck. Breastfeeding is a full time job.
Married 6-1-13 Sebastian 3-11-14 Simon 5-2-15 Baby #3 Due 9-29-16
Are there any BTDT mom's who formula fed baby #1 and decided to try to breastfeed baby #2? With how soon I had to go back to work after DD was born and the hours I worked it just wasn't feasible for me to breastfeed her so she was formula fed from the get go. Now I am a stay at home mom though and my husband really wants me to try breastfeeding this baby. I'm very nervous about this and afraid I'm going to feel like a clueless FTM all over again!
I am a FTM and I am totally clueless about breastfeeding. There are some great resources out there. I am attending a group called La Leche League for an hour once a month (it's free) and it has been SO SO helpful. It's a big group of moms sitting around with their babies in a circle breastfeeding and bringing up any concerns that they have and answering questions. I am typically the only one there who is pregnant (everyone else already has their baby), but they are so kind and make sure to answer any and all of my questions and I just get to sit there and soak it all up!
The La Leche League is a wonderful resource wtih BFing! My hospital also offered a breastfeeding support group, which was great, but La Leche had more experience/insight with all different problems. For example, I had a supply issue at the beginning and the nurse in my hospital group told me to suppliment my 3 week old with 3 oz of formula after I breastfed. Every time. She would have filled up on formula, and never taken my milk if I'd done that. We did suppliment for about a month, but never that much and she still had great weight gain in that time.
Are there any BTDT mom's who formula fed baby #1 and decided to try to breastfeed baby #2? With how soon I had to go back to work after DD was born and the hours I worked it just wasn't feasible for me to breastfeed her so she was formula fed from the get go. Now I am a stay at home mom though and my husband really wants me to try breastfeeding this baby. I'm very nervous about this and afraid I'm going to feel like a clueless FTM all over again!
Yep. I BF my daughter for a week and it was just so hard, I gave up. I'm determined to make it longer this time. I have a good breast pump and will have better support this time, so I'm hoping I'll be able to make it longer. I will have to return to work between 6-12 weeks (depending on how much we can save before baby comes) so pumping at work will be challenging. Good luck mama! We can do it!
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
Thanks everyone for the advice! I'll be looking into the books and doing more research, mostly I'm just kind of relieved that I'm not the only second time mom looking to breastfeed for the first time. You all made me feel a ton better!
@VeraMali take advantage of the LC at the hospital and then be prepared to call one when you get home. They make house calls and are so amazing at helping you "learn" how to BF. I also highly recommend La Leche League meetings. You can take older children with you to the meetings, as well. I was sad when I had to go back to work and couldn't go to meetings anymore.
Also, try to BF right away, as in while you're still in the delivery bed birthing the placenta. If you can't do that, do as much skin-to-skin right away.
Did anyone do cord blood banking and if so, who did you go through and what was the initial cost/ongoing costs? The fine details have been a little hard for me to find during my research
@Sbrown721- I'm just catching up on this now.. but one of the best parts of a hospital birth for me was it all happening in a hospital room, not in my house. The first trips to the bathroom, the mess on the sheets (during labor and after.. I had quite heavy bleeding) are things that I would not want to occur in my own house and clean up.
But as others and you have said, to each their own. I don't think you need to psych yourself out over how painful childbirth will be, but I think saying that birth is not as painful as women make it out to be is really impossible to say. You'll never know what level of pain another person feels, it's impossible to measure that way. Some women break their tailbones during labor - I would assume that that labor would be more painful than mine was.
Lack of sleep: I'm another that's really anxious about the lack of sleep with a baby. I don't know why. I mean, I potty trained my beloved dog when she was a puppy and was up every couple of hours with her and didn't complain nor feel terrible but....I'm still scared. I'm assuming your body just keeps going? Nature kicks in?
Rock N Play at night: Has anyone been nervous about using the rock n play to sleep? I've heard scary flat head stories (really about everything now that sleeping on back is recommended) and see lots of babies with helmets. I know it's not the worst thing in the world but I'm still nervous about it.
Hospital bag: Was there something you wish you would have tossed in there and forgot?
Lack of sleep: I'm another that's really anxious about the lack of sleep with a baby. I don't know why. I mean, I potty trained my beloved dog when she was a puppy and was up every couple of hours with her and didn't complain nor feel terrible but....I'm still scared. I'm assuming your body just keeps going? Nature kicks in?
Rock N Play at night: Has anyone been nervous about using the rock n play to sleep? I've heard scary flat head stories (really about everything now that sleeping on back is recommended) and see lots of babies with helmets. I know it's not the worst thing in the world but I'm still nervous about it.
Hospital bag: Was there something you wish you would have tossed in there and forgot?
Sleep: my overall experience was it wasn't as bad as I had worked it up to be. Don't get me wrong I was tired, but I never got to the point where I felt like I was losing my mind or I was going to die haha. Just take naps during the day when you can. I breast fed my little one so I did all the wake ups myself, she was always easy to get back down so I was maybe up for 30 min at a time.. Broken sleep is hard, but your body does adjust and it will be ok! You can do it
rock n play: my advice would be to not let them sleep in it at night. I know some people need to do that due to reflux or the babies refusing to sleep flat. My baby napped in it during the day and then slept in pack n play or crib at night. If you can get them to sleep at night without it, you won't have to worry about breaking the habit later! Obviously when it's crunch time do what you need to do, but I would try to avoid night time in it if you can!
hospital bag: there really wasn't anything I needed... The hospital basically gave me everything I needed. I did have my husband bring me my own water bottle from home and my own pillow. That's all I can remember him going back to get.
Lack of sleep: I'm another that's really anxious about the lack of sleep with a baby. I don't know why. I mean, I potty trained my beloved dog when she was a puppy and was up every couple of hours with her and didn't complain nor feel terrible but....I'm still scared. I'm assuming your body just keeps going? Nature kicks in?
Rock N Play at night: Has anyone been nervous about using the rock n play to sleep? I've heard scary flat head stories (really about everything now that sleeping on back is recommended) and see lots of babies with helmets. I know it's not the worst thing in the world but I'm still nervous about it.
Hospital bag: Was there something you wish you would have tossed in there and forgot?
@mom2adoodle 1. It's much much different than with a puppy yes you will lose a lot of sleep...it is very rough...I remember sometimes, I would just look at my bed so longingly.....I felt like I was never going to sleep restfully again, but you will eventually...and, yes, your body finds a way to manage...it can get very rough at times, and that's when you need hubby and family to step in and let you nap...It's funny because, at the time, it seems like an eternity, but now, looking back, it was just such a small amount of time when I really wasn't sleeping...
2. We used it until my daughter was 8 months! It's all she wanted to sleep in and she was so cozy in it!...we had no problems with flat head...
I second everything @beachmama14 even down to the pillow! That was the one thing I didn't have. Oh and shampoo and conditioner. I totally forgot to pack my own toiletries? Haha
if this is your first you can totally nap during the day with baby. I actually enjoyed those early middle of the night feedings. It was still new and exciting and so much better waking up to a baby than waking up from uncomfortable pregnancy pains.
Married 6-1-13 Sebastian 3-11-14 Simon 5-2-15 Baby #3 Due 9-29-16
@mom2adoodle- My son has been a great sleeper from day 1, so I'm sure others have had it much much rougher than me, but it was extremely doable. I can't remember if you are going back to work? On nights where my son had a few extra wake ups once I was back to work, I'd go lay down in my car for my 30 minute lunch, just to recharge a bit. While I was home on maternity leave it wasn't bad at all. He went to bed around 9, up at midnight to feed, up again around 4am to feed and I'd usually bring him down to the couch and sit up with him propped on my chest and watch some TV/zone in and out until his feeding at 7am. Not saying letting him rest on my chest was the safest thing to do, but it worked perfectly for us.
In terms of the flat head - I wouldn't put too much thought into it. Keep the babe on their back at night and allow for some sitting up time (in your arms) and tummy time during the day. Because my kid was a great sleeper he spent a LOT of time on the back of his head (he also hated tummy time beyond a few minutes), asides from a bald spot for a few months there was no issue.
Lack of sleep: I'm another that's really anxious about the lack of sleep with a baby. I don't know why. I mean, I potty trained my beloved dog when she was a puppy and was up every couple of hours with her and didn't complain nor feel terrible but....I'm still scared. I'm assuming your body just keeps going? Nature kicks in?
Rock N Play at night: Has anyone been nervous about using the rock n play to sleep? I've heard scary flat head stories (really about everything now that sleeping on back is recommended) and see lots of babies with helmets. I know it's not the worst thing in the world but I'm still nervous about it.
Hospital bag: Was there something you wish you would have tossed in there and forgot?
Sleep: not going to sugar coat this. It is hard. Like, there may be nights where your baby is crying and you are also crying. It's exhausting. I used to have to choose between taking a nap and eating. Those first few weeks are rough... But not impossible. And once they're behind you, your brain does a very good job of kind of forgetting. You will be absolutely fine, I promise. I'm only leaving off the sugar coating because I wish someone had done it for me. I was NOT prepared for the first few weeks and how they'd affect me. Don't be afraid to ask for help, and if you have to put the baby down and cry, that's totally okay too.
Hospital bag: flip flops or slip on shoes. I did not plan for my feet to swell after birth. It was awful.
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
Are there any BTDT mom's who formula fed baby #1 and decided to try to breastfeed baby #2? With how soon I had to go back to work after DD was born and the hours I worked it just wasn't feasible for me to breastfeed her so she was formula fed from the get go. Now I am a stay at home mom though and my husband really wants me to try breastfeeding this baby. I'm very nervous about this and afraid I'm going to feel like a clueless FTM all over again!
I formula fed the first two and breastfed the third one for a year. It was no walk in the park. I could have given up but I really really wanted to do it. So I stuck through it and made it to a year. But it was hard.
@runningisrad- it's funny just how different everybody is and her experience. I found the first few weeks to be pure bliss. I was just walking on a cloud, ready to have another baby immediately, life could not be better.
Fast forward to about 2 months and I started getting really overwhelmed with it all, and started battling a lot of post-partum anxiety (without realizing it). I got help around 4 months and was calm and confident again by 5-6 months.. but those few months in between I would never sugar coat. I feared that I would never be myself again and felt like I was just not a person who ever should have had a child.
Lack of sleep: I'm another that's really anxious about the lack of sleep with a baby. I don't know why. I mean, I potty trained my beloved dog when she was a puppy and was up every couple of hours with her and didn't complain nor feel terrible but....I'm still scared. I'm assuming your body just keeps going? Nature kicks in?
Rock N Play at night: Has anyone been nervous about using the rock n play to sleep? I've heard scary flat head stories (really about everything now that sleeping on back is recommended) and see lots of babies with helmets. I know it's not the worst thing in the world but I'm still nervous about it.
Hospital bag: Was there something you wish you would have tossed in there and forgot?
I have never used a rock n play, but I'm considering getting one for this baby to sleep in. As long as your baby isn't in a baby "container" all day long, flat head is unlikely. I asked my pediatrician about it and he said to just make sure your baby isn't always sitting or laying in the same thing or the same position. I don't think you need to be nervous about it, but it's good to think about these things and be prepared.
I wish I would have had more footwear. At the last minute I asked my mom to pick up some flip flops for me when she came to get my other kids. They were great for wearing in the shower. I did wish that I had some slippers or slip on type shoes. After my c-section the doctor wanted me to walk around with the baby. My feet were too cold to go without socks, so I ended up wearing the flip flops with socks. I also wish that I'd had a bathrobe. I kind of felt like I needed to get dressed to go on these walks around the maternity ward, but if I'd had a bathrobe, I could have put that on and been fine.
The different sleep pattern takes a little bit to get used to. It is hard, but after a few weeks you'll adjust and it'll be fine.
@runningisrad- it's funny just how different everybody is and her experience. I found the first few weeks to be pure bliss. I was just walking on a cloud, ready to have another baby immediately, life could not be better.
Fast forward to about 2 months and I started getting really overwhelmed with it all, and started battling a lot of post-partum anxiety (without realizing it). I got help around 4 months and was calm and confident again by 5-6 months.. but those few months in between I would never sugar coat. I feared that I would never be myself again and felt like I was just not a person who ever should have had a child.
I feel you on the postpartum anxiety. I had it and PPD but didn't realize it until much later. Basically the first year of my daughter's life, I was just a hot mess.
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
@runningisrad- it's funny just how different everybody is and her experience. I found the first few weeks to be pure bliss. I was just walking on a cloud, ready to have another baby immediately, life could not be better.
Fast forward to about 2 months and I started getting really overwhelmed with it all, and started battling a lot of post-partum anxiety (without realizing it). I got help around 4 months and was calm and confident again by 5-6 months.. but those few months in between I would never sugar coat. I feared that I would never be myself again and felt like I was just not a person who ever should have had a child.
I feel you on the postpartum anxiety. I had it and PPD but didn't realize it until much later. Basically the first year of my daughter's life, I was just a hot mess.
Same here. I worry about that this time around. I don't want to "lose" any time with this baby (and DD now, too) like I did when I was in my fog with DD. I don't know what, if anything, I can do to 'prevent' PPD this time around but I hope just being aware puts me a step ahead.
I think The first few weeks are easier than the second or third month. In the beginning no one expects anything of you. Then all of a sudden you're supposed to go back to real life. And that's when it gets hard
Married 6-1-13 Sebastian 3-11-14 Simon 5-2-15 Baby #3 Due 9-29-16
Re: Ask a BTDT mom
Sebastian 3-11-14
Simon 5-2-15
Baby #3 Due 9-29-16
I didn't mean to come off across negative in my first response, but you kind of touched a nerve. I had planned on going epi free as long as possible, but my water broke before my contractions started. So when they started, they were strong and one on top of another. I had no build up and no relief then couldn't get in the labor tub when I wanted because I was given an antibiotic that took 2 hours through the IV. I honestly have no regrets about how my daughter's birth went, but it wasn't what I'd envisioned. I really do hope the best for you with your home birth! And I hope you'll post your birth story here. I love reading any birth story, but especially ones that are so different from my experience.
I'm afraid of a home birth, it seems very messy to me, but more power to you! I know 2 people who have each done the home birth thing twice. No complaints from them. I can say that my first labor I had the epi and the second I did not, the second was a much better experience.
The first my water broke at 6:15am. got to the hospital 7:30, active painful labor from 8-10. Around 9:45 I said I felt like pushing and they said No it's too soon. They had checked me 10 minutes earlier and I was at 8cm. At 10 I got the epi and they checked me right after and said "oh you're at 10cm, do you feel like pushing?" I couldn't feel anything, not even the urge to push so I said no. They let me sit for 2 hours and came back in and said feel like pushing? And I still felt nothing. They checked me and said well baby is starting to come out so you need to push. I couldn't feel the contractions so I had no idea when to push, they had to tell me from the computer monitor when I was supposed to push. Then they said I was pushing wrong, but because I couldn't feel anything I didn't know what the hell they were talking about. 50 Minutes of pushing and I had my baby boy. Basically if I had listened to my instinct and pushed when I felt it, I would have had him 2 hours earlier.
With Baby 2 I didn't have time for the epi. We checked into the hospital at 9:55pm and I was at 9cm. They got me to my room and the doctor said we can break your water now and you'll have a baby in 20 minutes or you can wait 1/2 an hour to finish the IV and then get the epi. I felt like pushing so I said ok break my water. She did, and I could feel my contractions and was able to push through them. Each contraction I felt the urge to push and had relief when I did. 5 pushes and 5 minutes later I had my second baby boy.
I too am worried about having my baby in the car. My last 2 labors were quick so I'm getting to the hospital right away when I feel like I'm in labor. If you really don't want to use drugs, and I truly believe it's a better experience, a home birth is a good way to keep yourself from giving in in the heat of the moment. And you're already home, I know with our second we just wanted to get out of the hospital and get back to our home and be with our boys.
Sebastian 3-11-14
Simon 5-2-15
Baby #3 Due 9-29-16
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
Once I got through the first few weeks, breastfeeding was so much easier than formula feeding. I didn't have all the stuff to lug everywhere. All I had to bring was diapers, wipes and a change of clothes for baby.
I also want to add, that if you give it your best shot and still find breast feeding is not for you, there's no shame in switching to formula, but I'd encourage you to try it out for the first 8 weeks or so.
Sebastian 3-11-14
Simon 5-2-15
Baby #3 Due 9-29-16
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
@VeraMali take advantage of the LC at the hospital and then be prepared to call one when you get home. They make house calls and are so amazing at helping you "learn" how to BF. I also highly recommend La Leche League meetings. You can take older children with you to the meetings, as well. I was sad when I had to go back to work and couldn't go to meetings anymore.
Also, try to BF right away, as in while you're still in the delivery bed birthing the placenta. If you can't do that, do as much skin-to-skin right away.
But as others and you have said, to each their own. I don't think you need to psych yourself out over how painful childbirth will be, but I think saying that birth is not as painful as women make it out to be is really impossible to say. You'll never know what level of pain another person feels, it's impossible to measure that way. Some women break their tailbones during labor - I would assume that that labor would be more painful than mine was.
Rock N Play at night: Has anyone been nervous about using the rock n play to sleep? I've heard scary flat head stories (really about everything now that sleeping on back is recommended) and see lots of babies with helmets. I know it's not the worst thing in the world but I'm still nervous about it.
Hospital bag: Was there something you wish you would have tossed in there and forgot?
rock n play: my advice would be to not let them sleep in it at night. I know some people need to do that due to reflux or the babies refusing to sleep flat. My baby napped in it during the day and then slept in pack n play or crib at night. If you can get them to sleep at night without it, you won't have to worry about breaking the habit later! Obviously when it's crunch time do what you need to do, but I would try to avoid night time in it if you can!
hospital bag: there really wasn't anything I needed... The hospital basically gave me everything I needed. I did have my husband bring me my own water bottle from home and my own pillow. That's all I can remember him going back to get.
1. It's much much different than with a puppy
2. We used it until my daughter was 8 months! It's all she wanted to sleep in and she was so cozy in it!...we had no problems with flat head...
3. Not for me! I sooooooooo overpacked...
if this is your first you can totally nap during the day with baby. I actually enjoyed those early middle of the night feedings. It was still new and exciting and so much better waking up to a baby than waking up from uncomfortable pregnancy pains.
Sebastian 3-11-14
Simon 5-2-15
Baby #3 Due 9-29-16
In terms of the flat head - I wouldn't put too much thought into it. Keep the babe on their back at night and allow for some sitting up time (in your arms) and tummy time during the day. Because my kid was a great sleeper he spent a LOT of time on the back of his head (he also hated tummy time beyond a few minutes), asides from a bald spot for a few months there was no issue.
Hospital bag: flip flops or slip on shoes. I did not plan for my feet to swell after birth. It was awful.
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
Fast forward to about 2 months and I started getting really overwhelmed with it all, and started battling a lot of post-partum anxiety (without realizing it). I got help around 4 months and was calm and confident again by 5-6 months.. but those few months in between I would never sugar coat. I feared that I would never be myself again and felt like I was just not a person who ever should have had a child.
I wish I would have had more footwear. At the last minute I asked my mom to pick up some flip flops for me when she came to get my other kids. They were great for wearing in the shower. I did wish that I had some slippers or slip on type shoes. After my c-section the doctor wanted me to walk around with the baby. My feet were too cold to go without socks, so I ended up wearing the flip flops with socks. I also wish that I'd had a bathrobe. I kind of felt like I needed to get dressed to go on these walks around the maternity ward, but if I'd had a bathrobe, I could have put that on and been fine.
The different sleep pattern takes a little bit to get used to. It is hard, but after a few weeks you'll adjust and it'll be fine.
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
Sebastian 3-11-14
Simon 5-2-15
Baby #3 Due 9-29-16