Shoes-off house for shower?

soylatte · March 2016

So, our family has a situation. My cousin is getting married, and his sister is throwing a shower. There have been issues with finding a venue that is affordable, among other things. I finally offered for them to use my house and even shared the wonderful caterers we use, in order to make things easier. We are a shoes off house, always have been and family knows this. I keep disposable slippers for all guests needing them at the door.

My cousin throwing the shower does not think this is a big deal. But if you were invited to a shower at someone's home, Is it odd to be asked to remove your shoes? Bottom line is, having it in my home would be the one thing enabling them to give the shower all together... But I'm really not willing to allow shoes, I have a little guy and another on the way. This would make my skin crawl. Thanks for your honest opinions!!!

**** I know it's not a baby shower, but still, I know women are brutally honest on here

Muggle lover · March 2016

This reminds me of the episode of sex and the city where Carrie goes to a baby shower where she had to take her shoes off at the door and someone ended up stealing them.

Personally I wouldn't make people take their shoes off. If I offered my house for a shower I would be prepared to clean the house to my standards afterwards.

ETA if the shower is in a time of nice weather be prepared for people to show up in sandals, in which case they might walk around your house barefoot. That grosses me out more.

meggyme · March 2016

I agree with PP. Asking people to remove their shoes when it's a couple people is acceptable. During a full blown party, not so much. Maybe just factor the cost of a steam cleaner or carpet cleaner rental into your plans for hosting.

VOR · March 2016

This is from the perspective of someone who lives in a region where shoes off is NOT the norm - If you really want to do this, I'd put a note in the invitations giving people a heads up. Going to a nice party where I'm going to put thought into my outfit and where the shoes may actually be "important" to what I'm wearing, I'd be REALLY annoyed to be told, as I got there, that I had to take my shoes off. If I knew ahead of time, I could plan accordingly with what I choose to wear and perhaps bring something (socks, my own slippers) to wear. Not everyone is going to want to wear the slippers you leave out.

Even with that though, I'd probably still be annoyed. It feels weird to dress up and then not have shoes on.

But again, some of this depends on if this is the norm where you life. If it IS, less people will be annoyed. If it's not the norm, then more people will be annoyed and some may even refuse. What are you going to do if that happens?

kiwieloping · March 2016

Here it is the norm. No one wears shoes in their house so it's expected here. I also thought of the SATC episode though hahaha. Could you let people know on the invite? Could ppl wear "indoor" shoes?

I think as long as you don't make people leave their manolos outside in a hallway

But again, my perspective is that it's weird to wear shoes in someone's house!

soylatte · March 2016

I may just withdraw the offer. And to answer the indoor shoe question, that's why I always have a huge basket of disposable slippers for my guests to wear. But I really don't want to offend anyone or ruin the party because of the fact that I prefer no shoes.

CalebsHabibi · March 2016

I don't think it's rude at all. What's rude to me is going to someone's house, being asked not to wear shoes inside and then wearing them inside anyway (my family did this). Think of where shoes have been! Gas station bathrooms, concrete parking lots- disgusting places. There's no way you'd be able to "clean" the floors and carpets good enough to get rid of all those germs. Gas. Station. Bathrooms. <shudders>

soylatte · March 2016

Thank you for this response. I think you're the only person who sees it that way. I have a little guy who plays all over the floor and we live where there is tons of wildlife – after seeing what people are bringing on the shoes, I could puke.

YogaSandy · March 2016

Where I am from, it is completely normal to take your shoes off. I would find it weird to leave mine on. I didn't think people actually did that. We always laugh when we watch sitcoms and people wear their shoes in the house.

rozANDbenSINCE2001 · March 2016

We hosted this year's Christmas party for both sides of the family. We did a PJ party where we invited guests to bring their own slippers and also had fun socks in case they forgot. No one thought it was a big deal to take their shoes off, however, a few people went outside to smoke with their slippers on and walked back into our home with them. I was not happy. I think in general, people wouldn't mind taking shoes off, but wrangling a big crowd to abide by the rule might prove to be difficult.

PhoebeJune1984 · March 2016

I was raised in a household (and actually all of my relatives houses were the same) where you took your shoes off when you entered the door. It wasn't until I started dating MH, that I realized that isn't the norm, because they never take off their shoes. But my relatives are all from The Netherlands, and when MH and I went to Germany, we noticed that all of the homes we entered there, had the same unwritten rule....you remove your shoes and keep the water, dirt, etc in the entryway.

I guess that is why it doesn't bother me to take my shoes off. I have been doing it for so long, at pretty much everyone's homes (even non-family members), that it just happens instantly. I got tired of people wearing shoes in my house and put a simple "Please remove your shoes!" sign on the door, and now people take them off without so much as a word. We live in the PNW, so it is raining and muddy for 9 months out of the year. Add in pine needles getting tracked in, leaves stuck on shoes, etc....and it really can do a number on your floors (especially if you have a little one crawling around on the floor).

So for me, I would find it a little odd to have it written in the invite. Put if there was a little decorative sign that mentioned removing shoes, I would do it and wouldn't even side-eye it. Honestly, even if there wasn't a little sign, I would still probably do it because it is more comfortable to be barefoot or in socks (or tights) anyway.

VOR · March 2016

PhoebeJune1984 said:

So for me, I would find it a little odd to have it written in the invite. Put if there was a little decorative sign that mentioned removing shoes, I would do it and wouldn't even side-eye it. Honestly, even if there wasn't a little sign, I would still probably do it because it is more comfortable to be barefoot or in socks (or tights) anyway.

But for people who this isn't the norm,I think giving them a heads up is a nice thing to do. Some people are weird about taking their shoes off! I think giving a heads up so that people can plan accordingly is simply a nice thing to do.

Just from an outfit perspective - I have a pair of jeans that are super short and I only wear them when I wear tall boots. If I happened to wear that outfit and then found out, showing up at the house, that I had to take my boots off, I'd feel like I look like a fool and, honestly, be embarassed. But if I knew ahead of time, I would pick a different outfit all together.

This is assuming that she's in an area where this isn't the norm, which I AM assuming as she's asking/ is concerned.

Sassenach1743 · March 2016

Not the norm where I am from. Honestly, I'd be very annoyed to be told I had to take my shoes off and would rather see it mentioned on the invitation so that I don't show up to a surprise request like that. I don't feel comfortable taking my shoes off in situations like that. It's weird, but that's me.

Also, I really don't think you can control people... they do what they please. Previous posters have already mentioned people stepping outside to smoke or to take a phone call, that will result in them going outside and coming back in without thinking about their slippers/socks/bare feet being dirty... and thus negating your solution. And if anyone refuses to take their shoes off (maybe they have a reason; their shoes make their feet smelly, they have ugly toes, they have a medical condition, etc.), what are you going to do? Ask them to leave? You might upset your guest of honor by doing that, and then ruin the event.

Sounds to me like you are very particular about your home, and that's perfectly fine. But I wouldn't host a party there, it's just too problematic. Save yourself the stress. There's got to be another venue possibility just keep looking.

DrillSergeantCat · March 2016

Germs are good for our little ones! As another poster said, get it lined up to have your carpets cleaned after the party.

blush64 · March 2016

I wouldn't mention it on an invitation but where I am from it is pretty much unheard of not to take your shoes off when you enter someone's home. I couldn't imagine leaving my shoes on to walk around their home. I know we can't and shouldn't keep our kids from all germs but eventually they get enough playing outside, going to the store or playgroup and playing on the ground with our own germs.

I understand this isn't the same everywhere and if it is the norm to leave shoes on where you are then I would either host it somewhere else or clean the carpets after. If someone came into my home and left their shoes on I wouldn't say anything.

OliveOyl2014 · March 2016

DrillSergeantCat said:

Germs are good for our little ones! As another poster said, get it lined up to have your carpets cleaned after the party.

Germs are one thing, but I would be more concerned if someone stepped in poo. There's a lot of nasty stuff out on the ground.

meggyme · March 2016

OliveOyl2014 said:

DrillSergeantCat said:

Germs are good for our little ones! As another poster said, get it lined up to have your carpets cleaned after the party.

Germs are one thing, but I would be more concerned if someone stepped in poo. There's a lot of nasty stuff out on the ground.

It would also be pretty rude of someone to accidentally step in poo and just continue to walk around anyone's house. Hence the carpet cleaner.

CalebsHabibi · March 2016

meggyme said:

OliveOyl2014 said:

DrillSergeantCat said:

Germs are good for our little ones! As another poster said, get it lined up to have your carpets cleaned after the party.

Germs are one thing, but I would be more concerned if someone stepped in poo. There's a lot of nasty stuff out on the ground.

It would also be pretty rude of someone to accidentally step in poo and just continue to walk around anyone's house. Hence the carpet cleaner.

What if they didn't know they stepped in poo? Gas. Station. Bathrooms.

dufferoo · March 2016

CalebsHabibi said:

meggyme said:

OliveOyl2014 said:

DrillSergeantCat said:

Germs are good for our little ones! As another poster said, get it lined up to have your carpets cleaned after the party.

Germs are one thing, but I would be more concerned if someone stepped in poo. There's a lot of nasty stuff out on the ground.

It would also be pretty rude of someone to accidentally step in poo and just continue to walk around anyone's house. Hence the carpet cleaner.

What if they didn't know they stepped in poo? Gas. Station. Bathrooms.

but what if they stepped in poo at their own house whilst wearing socks, and then put on clean shoes to come to the shower, only to be forced by the hostess to remove them and then BAM! poop everywhere.

OliveOyl2014 · March 2016

CalebsHabibi said:

meggyme said:

OliveOyl2014 said:

DrillSergeantCat said:

Germs are good for our little ones! As another poster said, get it lined up to have your carpets cleaned after the party.

Germs are one thing, but I would be more concerned if someone stepped in poo. There's a lot of nasty stuff out on the ground.

It would also be pretty rude of someone to accidentally step in poo and just continue to walk around anyone's house. Hence the carpet cleaner.

What if they didn't know they stepped in poo? Gas. Station. Bathrooms.

My point exactly.

Bringmemylongswordho · March 2016

All I can contribute to this is, if you are asking me to take my shoes off (and I understand this is a big deal in some cultures ) your house better be fucking immaculate. If my socks are discolored by the end I will judge the shit out of you.

KyleeWaller · March 2016

I don't think it's an odd request, but I think with a full-on party the standard might be difficult to maintain. Unless you have someone stationed at the door to greet all of the guests, even the stragglers, I think a realistic expectation is that a couple of people will end up keeping their shoes on. It is up to you to decide if that is something you are comfortable with.

Just as a personal aside, I was raised in a house where your shoes came off at the door, no exceptions, so the request would never offend me. I do, however, think that the house slippers (if you're planning on asking everyone to wear them) might be a step too far.

lizhurt · March 2016

I think you have to get over it for one day and let people wear their shoes. I would be annoyed and offended if asked to take my shoes off at a nice event like a shower when I am dressed up and my shoes are definitely bound to be part of my outfit. Of all the times I disagreed with Carrie on SATC, in the episode where her shoes were stolen, I totally understood her pain. I know plenty of people make this 'no shoes' rule part of their household, but I feel like those people just shouldn't host parties, because to have guests over and immediately insinuate that they are too dirty or germy to come into your house as-is does not a great host/hostess make. Just my two cents, as this is a topic I feel strongly about. Don't take me out of my shoes!

OliveOyl2014 · March 2016

lizhurt said:

I think you have to get over it for one day and let people wear their shoes. I would be annoyed and offended if asked to take my shoes off at a nice event like a shower when I am dressed up and my shoes are definitely bound to be part of my outfit. Of all the times I disagreed with Carrie on SATC, in the episode where her shoes were stolen, I totally understood her pain. I know plenty of people make this 'no shoes' rule part of their household, but I feel like those people just shouldn't host parties, because to have guests over and immediately insinuate that they are too dirty or germy to come into your house as-is does not a great host/hostess make. Just my two cents, as this is a topic I feel strongly about. Don't take me out of my shoes!

It's not really insinuating that people are too dirty or germy to come into the house. If you walk outside with your shoes on, they are going to be dirty. I really don't see the big deal in asking people as long as it's mentioned in some way before the shower. Shoes off is a house rule for a lot of people. If you come to someone's home, be prepared that shoes off might be the norm there. You wouldn't come to someone's house and light up a cigarette in their living room unless you knew it was ok.

DisneyIsabelle · March 2016

We don't wear shoes in our house, and while we don't ask people to remove shoes if we have a party, we have wood floors and tile so I can clean vacuum and mop right afterwards. I would not be offended or bothered at all if someone asked me to remove my shoes at their house, in fact I certainly would always ask the host upon entering if I should take my shoes of unless I knew that they do wear shoes inside.

redfallon · March 2016

My question is: Do you have a nice place for everyone to store shoes or are they in a big jumbled mess at the door?

meggyme · March 2016

I walk around barefoot a lot too. Taking your shoes off does not mean there won't be germs...

soylatte · March 2016

I do. And I also have disposable slippers for anyone who wants them.

YogaSandy · March 2016

A bit off topic, but I am really surprised at the number of people who wear their shoes in houses. I always thought sitcoms that did this we're just making stuff up. I am by no means judging (I don't care), but it's just so far out of my norm, that it's hard to imagine - maybe it's because I live in Canada and it's winter 9 months out of the year.

VOR · March 2016

YogaSandy said:

A bit off topic, but I am really surprised at the number of people who wear their shoes in houses. I always thought sitcoms that did this we're just making stuff up. I am by no means judging (I don't care), but it's just so far out of my norm, that it's hard to imagine - maybe it's because I live in Canada and it's winter 9 months out of the year.

There is definitely a regional element. But I'll say this too- while I don't live in a "shoes off" region and don't have a "shoes off" house, I don't wear shoes for the most part. And a lot of people I know tend to not wear shoes when we're just home and doing our thing.

But outside of bad weather, I don't take my shoes off at the door. I wear them to my room and take them off there and then when I'm getting ready to go out, I'll put my shoes on. And like today- we had people over and we were going to be going in and out a lot, so I had shoes on. But once they were gone, comfy clothes came on and shoes came off.

to add- when we have guests over, I"m actually surprised at the number of people who take their shoes off when they come in my house. And I KNOW they don't have an official shoes off house either. It's just more that there's no rule about it and no one MAKES their guests take their shoes off.

lizhurt · March 2016

OliveOyl2014 said:

lizhurt said:

I think you have to get over it for one day and let people wear their shoes. I would be annoyed and offended if asked to take my shoes off at a nice event like a shower when I am dressed up and my shoes are definitely bound to be part of my outfit. Of all the times I disagreed with Carrie on SATC, in the episode where her shoes were stolen, I totally understood her pain. I know plenty of people make this 'no shoes' rule part of their household, but I feel like those people just shouldn't host parties, because to have guests over and immediately insinuate that they are too dirty or germy to come into your house as-is does not a great host/hostess make. Just my two cents, as this is a topic I feel strongly about. Don't take me out of my shoes!

It's not really insinuating that people are too dirty or germy to come into the house. If you walk outside with your shoes on, they are going to be dirty. I really don't see the big deal in asking people as long as it's mentioned in some way before the shower. Shoes off is a house rule for a lot of people. If you come to someone's home, be prepared that shoes off might be the norm there. You wouldn't come to someone's house and light up a cigarette in their living room unless you knew it was ok.

I am fully aware it's an unpopular opinion. I just don't like the presumption that I should have to change an essential element of my carriage to fit into your house. It's hardly the same as lighting up in the living room (which coincidentally is something Carrie from SATC would totally do - gross!). I am just of the mind that dirt is everywhere and it's unavoidable, so if you have that strong of an aversion to outside dirt, maybe hosting parties full of people isn't something that you are prepared to accommodate for. It must be regional, because I can think of only one shoes-off house I have ever been to and they made the request due to new carpet (which I thought was a tacky reason). Agree to disagree!

CopperLane · March 2016

We are a no shoes house, and live in a place where it's about 50/50 with the households that wear shoes or don't. We have a shoe rack near the front door and get asked all the time by guests if they need to remove their shoes.

Our baby shower is being hosted at our house and we will let our guests do whatever they are comfortable with. If the weather ends up being wet, most people will remove their shoes. We have a mixture of wood/tile/carpet so the majority of our floors can be cleaned up afterwards.

I also try not to stress so much about the little things like having shoes in the house for one day, the really nasty stuff is pretty minute and will likely not kill you or make you sick.

blush64 · April 2016

YogaSandy said:

A bit off topic, but I am really surprised at the number of people who wear their shoes in houses. I always thought sitcoms that did this we're just making stuff up. I am by no means judging (I don't care), but it's just so far out of my norm, that it's hard to imagine - maybe it's because I live in Canada and it's winter 9 months out of the year.

I am in Canada as well and I couldn't imagine going in to someone's house with my shoes on. Everyone I know removes them but I don't know of anyone who would ask a guest to remove them.

TwizBeans · April 2016

CopperLane said:

We are a no shoes house, and live in a place where it's about 50/50 with the households that wear shoes or don't. We have a shoe rack near the front door and get asked all the time by guests if they need to remove their shoes.

Our baby shower is being hosted at our house and we will let our guests do whatever they are comfortable with. If the weather ends up being wet, most people will remove their shoes. We have a mixture of wood/tile/carpet so the majority of our floors can be cleaned up afterwards.

I also try not to stress so much about the little things like having shoes in the house for one day, the really nasty stuff is pretty minute and will likely not kill you or make you sick.

All of this. We are no shoes but I don't ask people to take them off if we throw a large party. We clean the floors afterward. I also have 2 kids and as far as I know they have never gotten sick from our floors

CantPeopleNeedCoffee · April 2016

I'm from Miami, that would not fly here. All I keep thinking is...pata sucia! No bueno!

Shoes-off house for shower?

Re: Shoes-off house for shower?

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