Monday bitchfest

MelissaM090 · March 2016

Here's mine!

DH has this super nice, well-meaning family, who for whatever reason MAKE ME CRAZY. I came from a really casual, lovingly (sort of) insulting, give-each-other-a-hard-time kind of family where everyone just has normal conversations and talks to each other like normal people. His family is super passive aggressive and all the syrupy sweet hugs and kisses, and polite conversations come off as fake and annoying to me.

I've been texting back and forth his mom trying to sort out Easter plans, and DH's birthday which falls on Easter Sunday this year, and trying to coordinate holiday plans with his family (which only has SIX OTHER PEOPLE IN IT) is cause for my needing to drink. We finally sorted out that we would all go visit his grandparents on the Saturday and her text was 'We're good to go for the Saturday at my parents house! Please let <DH> know! Which I know you will because you're married now and love each other very much! LOL!'

WTF?

I'm dreading this visit because it's the first one all together since Christmas and I KNOW that in their syrupy-sweet, well-meaning way, they're going to bring up the 'when are you two going to give us grandkids (or great grandkids for that matter)' and I just don't want to deal with it. We only got married in October, we're having some preliminary testing done because of some other issues I have, but I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. It hasn't been that long and I don't classify us as 'having trouble' in the least, but I really, really don't want to have this conversation with them, and their number one flaw is not understanding the social cues of dropping an awkward conversation topic.

DumbledoresArmy · March 2016

I noticed my first grey hairs this morning. WHAT?!? I feel like I shouldn't see a drop of grey until I at least have one child!! If this infertility thing keeps up I will have a whole head!

Zoey1019 · March 2016

My MBF is that I cannot believe I waited and avoided this long TTC. I am only on my second cycle and def out, I literally could cry right now. I know I haven't been trying that long, but this is by far the worst feeling I have ever had. I don't know anyone is strong enough to keep up with this. I really do applaud everyone on here that has been trying much longer than I have, I feel ashamed to even be complaining, but I don't know where else to do it.

Any tips on how to get out of your head?

I feel like I am surrounded by "We are pregnant" or whoops! Or wahoo our third! It's really getting on my nerves like it never did before. I wish I had just stopped BC a year ago and NTNP to see what would happen at least.

linzrunz · March 2016

PennStateCait said:

@linzrunz UGH that sounds TERRIBLE and unfair. How can they do that? Can he get someone to cover for him?
Don't cancel the weekend! Love me some half marathons. But also love the part where I make a weekend out of them with my H and explore the town, so I can understand how upset you are.

My MBF is my mother.
My spring break is next week and I'm going to visit my sister in California. She moved there 4 months ago and I haven't seen her since. My sister and I are really close so this has been pretty tough. Well I found out last week that my mom is crashing our trip. My mom doesn't get along with my sister and I, we don't talk much except around the holidays. She's an alcoholic, she's manipulative and she is just BSC. I psychologically CANNOT deal with her. So when she found out I was going to visit my sister over my spring break, she looked up my district's calendar and booked a trip for that week too.

I paid a TON of money for the plane ticket to visit my sister and I'm going alone. My H and my sister are really good friends but I didn't want him to come because I just wanted a sister vacation. Now my least favorite person in the world will be there. Now I'm not even looking forward to the trip.

It is very unfair, but it's also the nature of his job. He's in law enforcement so he doesn't have that much of a choice, especially when they're so short. Thankfully his Sgt. called back and said he's back on days with Saturday off so our original plans aren't ruined, but it seems like every time we plan something out of town, his schedule gets messed with. One time he got switched to nights last minute (literally the day before). He was supposed to get off work at 3 am, got a call at 245 so he didn't get home until 530 am and we left town at 545 am for a trip (supposed to leave at 4 am). It was horrible and stressful.

The town my half marathon is in is so close that we go there a couple times a month, but rarely do we stay for the whole weekend. We splurged and got a hot tub in our hotel room and that is going to feel SO nice after the race. Weekend is still on and my MBF next week will most likely involves lots of complaining about sore muscles. haha

I'm sorry about your mom! That sucks! My sister is my best friend and we live 8 hours away from each other, so I can totally sympathize with that. I hope you're able to get some one-on-one sister time.

whiska · March 2016

I've never done a MBF, but here goes:
Last year we had a blast on a family camping trip and all agreed we wanted to try and go for two weekends this year. I sent out an email last week asking for weekend availabilities for this summer so we could block off two weekends and start planning.

My SIL, who I get along with great, wrote back with ALL this stuff about my nieces' and nephews' sports/activities schedules and how it's all up in the air. And I'm just like,

I know when doing sports it's important to honor your commitments and not flake and all that, and I wouldn't want them to miss like, a final game. And I know that with four kids, my brother coaching two of these teams, and he owns his own business as the sole breadwinner for this family of six... things are going to be pretty hectic. To the point where I'm guessing at least one of the kids will have to miss an activity to do this. But is it really that big of a deal? Also that's why I'm planning an August camping trip in MARCH

so they have time to plan. Not to mention my brother was the first to bring up "Let's go twice!"

I'm not super ticked off, just bemused

. It's the planner in me.

MamaMunn · March 2016

@Zoey1019 Sorry you are feeling like that! I don't think those feelings ever totally go away during this process. I'm on month 6 of TTC and we were NTNP for 3 months prior to that. I still go through a period of time each cycle where I feel hopeless like this is never going to happen for us. And the further in I get the more painful the other pregnancy announcements are. That being said I feel like I am way more educated about the whole process now and have learned how to deal with my feelings. Also being apart of this community it a huge help for me on my tough TTC days. I try to distract myself with things I won't be able to do if I get KU. Like this weekend DH and I went to tour a local distillery and sampled pretty much everything they offered. It was so much fun and a great distraction for the day. Keep your head up!

Zoey1019 · March 2016

@MamaMunn Thank you so much for the pep talk, I really needed it right now. I appreciate your insight! I will enjoy all the wine and drinks and dangerous behavior that I can

whiska · March 2016

Oh and I'd love to hear comments. Growing up we never took vacations and I didn't have a ton of activities so we didn't have to deal with these conflicts. How did your family handle it or how do you plan to?

Zoey1019 · March 2016

@dogmomwantinghuman that story hits close to home! DH does stuff like this all the time, I just wish he would think, "what would my dear wife do!!!!" It isn't that hard right? I am sorry you are having to deal with that

one more for me !!! When I told DH that it was most likely not happening this month and how I was upset and felt like a failure he started getting upset and said if anyone should be upset it is him !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He thinks that his part in it is more upsetting than mine...............I wanted to laugh so hard. Then yelled at me for always wanting to plan trips and waste money and just generally being a huge jerk...

DiFazette · March 2016

@whiska - I'd take the weekends they have the least amount of stuff planned and respond like this... "So would you prefer I book Xweekend or Y'. My brother is dreadfully non comittal, so what works for him is giving him 2 options. He gets to feel like he has a choice, but I remain in control. It's calculated, but it works for me.

rkstro2 · March 2016

MelissaM090 said:

Here's mine!

DH has this super nice, well-meaning family, who for whatever reason MAKE ME CRAZY. I came from a really casual, lovingly (sort of) insulting, give-each-other-a-hard-time kind of family where everyone just has normal conversations and talks to each other like normal people. His family is super passive aggressive and all the syrupy sweet hugs and kisses, and polite conversations come off as fake and annoying to me.

I've been texting back and forth his mom trying to sort out Easter plans, and DH's birthday which falls on Easter Sunday this year, and trying to coordinate holiday plans with his family (which only has SIX OTHER PEOPLE IN IT) is cause for my needing to drink. We finally sorted out that we would all go visit his grandparents on the Saturday and her text was 'We're good to go for the Saturday at my parents house! Please let <DH> know! Which I know you will because you're married now and love each other very much!

@MelissaM090Omg are you from my family and married into my DH family? This is totally us! 100%

rkstro2 · March 2016

whiska said:

Oh and I'd love to hear comments. Growing up we never took vacations and I didn't have a ton of activities so we didn't have to deal with these conflicts. How did your family handle it or how do you plan to?

@whiska...we have this problem too. Basically we are expected to bend our lives (which include job which has 24/7/365 type responsibilities) around other relatives' kids elective soccer and baseball schedules. So flipping irritating. The thing we do most often to get around this is planning way way way in advance. Like a year or more. This way we just have to pick a date and go with it and everyone agrees to it far enough out that it's hard to back out. This probably doesn't help you today, but maybe for next time

CoonMom · March 2016

Zoey1019 said:

@dogmomwantinghuman that story hits close to home! DH does stuff like this all the time, I just wish he would think, "what would my dear wife do!!!!" It isn't that hard right? I am sorry you are having to deal with that

I think you meant to tag@furbabymom2007.

LadyMillil · March 2016

Why do people tail gate on the highway during rush hour? No, I actually can't drive faster, and no I can't safely change lanes right now, so calm the eff down and get off my ass.

Second MBF - I carpool with DH a few days a week. When he is going to be 30 minutes late, why can't he text me so I can do something besides sit in the car waiting

redheeler · March 2016

TW*** loss mentioned

My bitch is me.

I started looking for a family car recently (already have DS but he's getting old enough now that I don't really have to cart as much around for him, he just needs the car seat) I just needed a car and it made sense to get something I could fit two kids in.

i was offered my absolute dream car (incase anyone is a car nut like myself, a HSV GTS owned by the guy who does the enhancement tuning for Holden, GM to you guys in the US. It has a 7L V8 in it, factory fitted with work done the engine alone is worth $30k) I was offered it for 1/3 of the price it's actually worth, I told them I couldn't afford it and then my mechanic offered to buy it for me, and I could pay him back weekly as much as I could each week until it was paid off. I still told them no, now DH is just like "are you sure?" Constantly, to top it all off they've asked me the day my dr told me I was going to miscarry, and I'm just an emotional mess and think I'm going to regret this in a week, but at the moment I'm all just like "fuck it, I don't care!"

congrats ts to anyone who actually read this.

DiFazette · March 2016

@Aphillips95 - I'm sorry. I didn't know your PG was at risk. Hugs.

mrsdaddario · March 2016

@Zoey1019 I know that feeling all too well. It gets easier (the disappointment). If you gear yourself up for a BFN anyway, it seems to hurt less. At least for me it did. And I agree with @MamaMunn joining this site has really helped reel in the BSC. Most of the time! The good news is you haven't been trying that long, and you may (or may not but for this purpose I'm going with you will) have a short road a head of you! I'm sorry you're feeling down

MamaCoffin · March 2016

TW: drugs, overdose, death, lots of foul words.

FUCK! FUCK HEROIN! FUCK YOU FOR THINKING YOU'RE INCONTROL. YOU FUCKING AREN'T!

I just got word that an old friend of mine passed about an hour ago. She overdosed on Friday and they just found her yesterday. She'd been in a coma on life support since then, but obviously she didn't make it. I knew when I got word this morning that it was already the end.... But I'm still stunned. I had a little glimmer that was hoping I was wrong. That she'd wake up and everything would be OK. But of course she's not. Because nobody ever wins with heroin. Why does anyone ever touch it?

Sorry for the depressing rant... But I'm just so heartbroken.

Sugargirl1019 · March 2016

@jenmlangtake2 I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Vent all you want here, if you find it helps. We'll be here to listen and support. I agree, why does anyone ever touch heroin? So sad.

thefarmerswife0411 · March 2016

@furbabymom2007; people on AF UNITE!

Girl, let's drink all the wine & snuggle our doggies

MamaCoffin · March 2016

Sugargirl1019 said:

@jenmlangtake2 I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Vent all you want here, if you find it helps. We'll be here to listen and support. I agree, why does anyone ever touch heroin? So sad.

Thank you. I'm just so fucking mad. I haven't even been able to cry yet... Because all I want to do is destroy something with a baseball bat.

PennStateCait · March 2016

@Dilynne I wish I could but she says she bought a nonrefundable ticket and I can only go during my spring break. I'm coming back Wednesday because ticket prices soared because of Easter so I can't extend or switch my trip. BLEH. I'll probably book a summer trip the second I get home and will make sure my mother is not there that week.

@sparty18 thanks for your kind words, as always. I'm going to arrange a sister night now

@jenmlangtake2 I'm so sorry about your friend. Heroin is a terrifying substance. Please rant here all you need to. I'll be here lending my ear.

cabu14 · March 2016

@Zoey1019 I feel you girl, I am on my second cycle too and def out waiting for AF.. and Saturday something came over me when DH got home and I just had a little break down. I feel silly because we may take a year to get pregnant, I ask my self why I'm already so emotional about it - I didn't expect it at all. I'm glad I'm not alone.

@thefarmerswife0411 I'm totally joining the club with AF.. I started spotting yesterday and its like just come so I can drink the bottle of wine I bought for CD1 & I have a really snuggly doggy

redheeler · March 2016

I have a second MBF!

DH just rang me to ask about cars (for the 4th time today) im feeling a little sorry for myself and really just don't care today, so I told him this, he hung up on me! He has a conniption fit if I hang up on him ever, but it's perfectly fine for him to hang up on me because I asked him to stop talking about cars today!? Double standard much! Ugh!

Megzb510 · March 2016

I have a long Bitchfest so apologies in advance....

So DH got diagnosed with shingles on the eye over the weekend. Very serious, could cause permanent eye damage. So he follows up with an ophthalmologist today, who confirms it is very serious and examines his eye and finds a dark spot and bulging veins (no idea what this means, DH said guy didn't linger and talked fast) so he prescribes an eye gel and warns it's expensive, gives him a refill of the medicine he is already taking cuz the quick clinic wrote a 10 day scrip which is no where near enough. DH gets to the pharmacy and the eye gel is $250 AFTER insurance for the TINEST tube of medicine. Thank god I've saved money in the health savings acct.

so I'm at work and DH is recapping the dr visit and DS' preschool calls and says he is sick and needs to be picked up. So I call my mom to pick him up cuz he has been low level sick for 11 days with a cough but never bad enough to warrant a dr visit.

i take the train home, pick up DS, and generally feel like I'm getting sick. I go to pick up some drive thru food cuz there's no way I'm cooking and I realize I left my wallet at work. Well hopefully it's at work. DS throws a tantrum that we didn't get food.

I go home and take my temp and have a low grade fever. And good old DS has pink eye.

im just done with today.

Zoey1019 · March 2016

@thefarmerswife0411 snuggling mine right now with a glass of wine in hand! Thank you @mrsdaddario for the kind words! I will try to follow them!

mrsdee15 · March 2016

My BF is long, but I don't even feel like revisiting it in detail. Today work was ridiculous and I just wish my mom would accept me how I am without her unending judgment and nitpicking. I'm putting on Sex and the City and drinking all the wine. Oh, and DH is gone and my CM has informed me I am fertile.

ETA: Also maybe it's just on mobile, but TB deleted my puppy's photo as my profile photo and I can't fix it.

Zoey1019 · March 2016

@LoulieFace It is crazy! Glad to know I am not the only one as well! All the wine for us! My step sister brought us 3 bottles back from a napa trip, so my thought process was, look meant to be! You wouldn't have been able to drink this wine! We can hope for next cycle!

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