Has anyone been woken up from a sound sleep by a terrible cramp/pain in their calf? This is the 2nd time it's happened. I was finally able to fall back asleep this morning but when I woke up it hurt so bad it caused a limp. It has improved but I can still feel exactly where the pain is/was. What the heck.
Yep! I thought it was from falling asleep with my legs propped up. I made the mistake of flying without my compression socks and I had elephant ankles. I limped for a whole day after that cramp and felt sore for a few days after. Terrible!!
Not the same as toddlers, but DH and I just started locking the cats in the office at night (it's the one room in the house that has a door that closes, besides the bathroom). The cats jumping on my belly had begun to be an issue We tried training them away, but it didn't work, and while I love cuddling with my kittehs at bedtime, it just wasn't flying anymore.
DH is SUPER worried about this, mainly I think because our cat is so heavy (~20 lbs). He doesn't jump on my stomach though, just walks over it to get up by my face, and usually I have my belly/lower half turned to the side anyway. I had asked my MW about it at the beginning of pregnancy , and she said it shouldn't be a problem. I will help try to keep the cat from being on my belly directly to appease DH, but honestly since he's not jumping on there, just walking, and it's not causing pain, at this point I personally am not concerned.
The cat walking on my poor sore boobs though... now that is painful and terrible!
Apparently cats on the belly in and of itself is not a problem (according to my OB, my NP, and my BIL who's a doctor--DH insisted we ask every medical professional we know because he didn't believe it wouldn't hurt baby). But now my belly is so big that it's hurting *me* Also, the last straw was when cat #1 tried to climb up on me, slipped because of my round non-squishiness, and tried to hold on with his claws:( I had to explain to my OB that those weren't the weirdest placed stretch marks ever...
Oh yeah, if kitty on the belly is causing pain like it is for you, I totally understand needing to minimize that as much as possible! We're just not there yet aside from DH's paranoia.
We just got back from being over at the ILs for a while... they are definitely the type who say "Aw, you're leaving already?!" after you've been there for four hours, a sharp contrast to my own family who after two hours is usually like, okay see you soon. Once we couldn't make it over to the ILs for a couple weeks in a row and MIL emailed DH telling him to remember to keep in touch. Ridiculous.
Anyway, we were over there for a while, as well as SIL and BIL and their kids, youngest of which is about 4 months. FIL keeps talking about how he's looking forward to DH being over every day this summer with the baby (DH is a school guidance counselor so once maternity leave is over he'll be primary caretaker for the summer). MIL also works for the schools and FIL is retired, so they've always taken care of the grandkids during the summer. Which, yeah, we'll probably be over there more often, but the expectation of being there *every day* is overkill.
Then SIL keeps talking about how the kids can spend every day in the summer together and how when they're older the babies can play soccer and all the things they can do together and I just feel like Jesus christ, do we have to live in your laps once we have a kid? Do you have all our kid's future activities planned out to match yours? What about spending time as a family of three, or stuff with my parents? Want me to just hand the kid over after birth?
I know I'm over reacting, but I couldn't stop stewing about it and had to pull over and let DH drive the rest of the way home because I was so annoyed I started crying.
Sorry for the novel, but I needed to get that out a bit.
We just got back from being over at the ILs for a while... they are definitely the type who say "Aw, you're leaving already?!" after you've been there for four hours, a sharp contrast to my own family who after two hours is usually like, okay see you soon. Once we couldn't make it over to the ILs for a couple weeks in a row and MIL emailed DH telling him to remember to keep in touch. Ridiculous.
Anyway, we were over there for a while, as well as SIL and BIL and their kids, youngest of which is about 4 months. FIL keeps talking about how he's looking forward to DH being over every day this summer with the baby (DH is a school guidance counselor so once maternity leave is over he'll be primary caretaker for the summer). MIL also works for the schools and FIL is retired, so they've always taken care of the grandkids during the summer. Which, yeah, we'll probably be over there more often, but the expectation of being there *every day* is overkill.
Then SIL keeps talking about how the kids can spend every day in the summer together and how when they're older the babies can play soccer and all the things they can do together and I just feel like Jesus christ, do we have to live in your laps once we have a kid? Do you have all our kid's future activities planned out to match yours? What about spending time as a family of three, or stuff with my parents? Want me to just hand the kid over after birth?
I know I'm over reacting, but I couldn't stop stewing about it and had to pull over and let DH drive the rest of the way home because I was so annoyed I started crying.
Sorry for the novel, but I needed to get that out a bit.
No advice to give but I completely understand where you're coming from and even reading that story made me tense up. I'd feel the same way.
Just a lil whine.. My husband was painting the bathrooms yesterday and, god love him, he spilled nearly half a can of paint on the floor. I helped him clean it up, which involved a lot of kneeling down/standing back up, and running up and down the stairs. After awhile (and probably in part due to the paint fumes), I got sooo dizzy and nauseous! And unfortunately lasted the rest of the day. I feel better today but am still staying home from work tomorrow, just because I can't fathom that stupid commute. Anyways, DH learned his lesson - be more careful with where you set the paint can (in fairness, he did a really nice job!)
We just got back from being over at the ILs for a while... they are definitely the type who say "Aw, you're leaving already?!" after you've been there for four hours, a sharp contrast to my own family who after two hours is usually like, okay see you soon. Once we couldn't make it over to the ILs for a couple weeks in a row and MIL emailed DH telling him to remember to keep in touch. Ridiculous.
Anyway, we were over there for a while, as well as SIL and BIL and their kids, youngest of which is about 4 months. FIL keeps talking about how he's looking forward to DH being over every day this summer with the baby (DH is a school guidance counselor so once maternity leave is over he'll be primary caretaker for the summer). MIL also works for the schools and FIL is retired, so they've always taken care of the grandkids during the summer. Which, yeah, we'll probably be over there more often, but the expectation of being there *every day* is overkill.
Then SIL keeps talking about how the kids can spend every day in the summer together and how when they're older the babies can play soccer and all the things they can do together and I just feel like Jesus christ, do we have to live in your laps once we have a kid? Do you have all our kid's future activities planned out to match yours? What about spending time as a family of three, or stuff with my parents? Want me to just hand the kid over after birth?
I know I'm over reacting, but I couldn't stop stewing about it and had to pull over and let DH drive the rest of the way home because I was so annoyed I started crying.
Sorry for the novel, but I needed to get that out a bit.
I feel ya. This is kinda how we've ended up with DH's family. On the bright side though it's nice to have the outlet if needed and the childcare taken care of by someone you trust. It has it's moments though.
Been married since 2009. Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter) Several MCs DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
My FILs parents came over yesterday for coffee and cake and I got so excited when grandma-IL whipped out her typical gift of a box of chocolates. Only to discover all but two were filled with alcohol. Perfect gift for the pregnant lady.
Oh! And they claimed they forgot what name we chose so we I had I go through that whole debacle again and this time without my husband. We've pretty much decided on Robin Amelia (I reserve the right to change my mind upon delivery) and that promoted another round of "that's a boys name!" "What will we call her then? Amelia?" To which I got to reply (in German!) you will call her Robin and it was my mothers name. Which then prompted Gma-IL to start listing boys names that were also girls names "Carl-Carla" etc. for several minutes.
Today I am going for lunch at their place for the first time alone. I have a hard time understanding their German and jokes. And for some reason listening to them talk makes me super sleepy. Yay! DH comes on Friday and I can't wait!!!
@yogahh A lot better. Hopefully it stays this way. We had a talk about a week or so ago and since then he's changed his attitude and also been keeping up with medication his doctor put him on. He started anger management last week as well.
We just got back from being over at the ILs for a while... they are definitely the type who say "Aw, you're leaving already?!" after you've been there for four hours, a sharp contrast to my own family who after two hours is usually like, okay see you soon. Once we couldn't make it over to the ILs for a couple weeks in a row and MIL emailed DH telling him to remember to keep in touch. Ridiculous.
Anyway, we were over there for a while, as well as SIL and BIL and their kids, youngest of which is about 4 months. FIL keeps talking about how he's looking forward to DH being over every day this summer with the baby (DH is a school guidance counselor so once maternity leave is over he'll be primary caretaker for the summer). MIL also works for the schools and FIL is retired, so they've always taken care of the grandkids during the summer. Which, yeah, we'll probably be over there more often, but the expectation of being there *every day* is overkill.
Then SIL keeps talking about how the kids can spend every day in the summer together and how when they're older the babies can play soccer and all the things they can do together and I just feel like Jesus christ, do we have to live in your laps once we have a kid? Do you have all our kid's future activities planned out to match yours? What about spending time as a family of three, or stuff with my parents? Want me to just hand the kid over after birth?
I know I'm over reacting, but I couldn't stop stewing about it and had to pull over and let DH drive the rest of the way home because I was so annoyed I started crying.
Sorry for the novel, but I needed to get that out a bit.
I'm sorry, but you do realize you're complaining about your ILs wanting to be involved, right? As a point of contrast, my ILs have made zero plans to come visit, never sent a single gift or card and generally have exhibited the enthusiasm of a dead fish about the whole thing. Yours sound excited, happy and eager to be involved, IMO. Wanna trade?
Oh! And they claimed they forgot what name we chose so we I had I go through that whole debacle again and this time without my husband. We've pretty much decided on Robin Amelia (I reserve the right to change my mind upon delivery) and that promoted another round of "that's a boys name!" "What will we call her then? Amelia?" To which I got to reply (in German!) you will call her Robin and it was my mothers name. Which then prompted Gma-IL to start listing boys names that were also girls names "Carl-Carla" etc. for several minutes.
Today I am going for lunch at their place for the first time alone. I have a hard time understanding their German and jokes. And for some reason listening to them talk makes me super sleepy. Yay! DH comes on Friday and I can't wait!!!
That would annoy me too...why would you say "what will we call her?" after someone tells you their kid's name? You can call her by her name. Obviously.
I'm sorry, but you do realize you're complaining about your ILs wanting to be involved, right? As a point of contrast, my ILs have made zero plans to come visit, never sent a single gift or card and generally have exhibited the enthusiasm of a dead fish about the whole thing. Yours sound excited, happy and eager to be involved, IMO. Wanna trade?
Mine are the same way. Zero interest, zero plans to visit, little to no contact in general, and the only conversations we're had that were baby-related are the ridiculous ones I've vented about on TB, like my MIL insisting that I could still be having twins, that I might go 5 weeks past my due date, and "offering" for us to fly across the country to bring the baby (babies?? apparently??) to meet her when he is a few weeks old. Otherwise, it's like it isn't even happening.
I'm sorry, but you do realize you're complaining about your ILs wanting to be involved, right? As a point of contrast, my ILs have made zero plans to come visit, never sent a single gift or card and generally have exhibited the enthusiasm of a dead fish about the whole thing. Yours sound excited, happy and eager to be involved, IMO. Wanna trade?
Mine are the same way. Zero interest, zero plans to visit, little to no contact in general, and the only conversations we're had that were baby-related are the ridiculous ones I've vented about on TB, like my MIL insisting that I could still be having twins, that I might go 5 weeks past my due date, and "offering" for us to fly across the country to bring the baby (babies?? apparently??) to meet her when he is a few weeks old. Otherwise, it's like it isn't even happening.
FIL had to go eat dinner when we told him we were pregnant. Literally... We told him on the phone, he said 'Oh. Well my dinner is ready so I have to go. I'll call later.' and obviously never called. Fast forward to Christmas when we found out the sex. He was 'excited' but he had to go bc he was expecting people. They weren't there yet, but he just had to go. Annnnd that was the last time DH has even managed to get ahold of him.
I wasn't really expecting too much of a relationship on his end bc he literally has zero relationship with any of his older grandchildren, but I feel bad bc DH really wanted things to be different. I honestly would give anything for FIL to show some interest bc it means so much to DH. Not holding my breath though... I mean they guy didn't even call on DH's birthday a month ago.
MIL and my parents, family members, etc. are in contact constantly, and while sometimes annoying, I don't mind. Growing up I had zero communication with extended family and thinking back on it now I wish that hadn't been the case.
We just got back from being over at the ILs for a while... they are definitely the type who say "Aw, you're leaving already?!" after you've been there for four hours, a sharp contrast to my own family who after two hours is usually like, okay see you soon. Once we couldn't make it over to the ILs for a couple weeks in a row and MIL emailed DH telling him to remember to keep in touch. Ridiculous.
Anyway, we were over there for a while, as well as SIL and BIL and their kids, youngest of which is about 4 months. FIL keeps talking about how he's looking forward to DH being over every day this summer with the baby (DH is a school guidance counselor so once maternity leave is over he'll be primary caretaker for the summer). MIL also works for the schools and FIL is retired, so they've always taken care of the grandkids during the summer. Which, yeah, we'll probably be over there more often, but the expectation of being there *every day* is overkill.
Then SIL keeps talking about how the kids can spend every day in the summer together and how when they're older the babies can play soccer and all the things they can do together and I just feel like Jesus christ, do we have to live in your laps once we have a kid? Do you have all our kid's future activities planned out to match yours? What about spending time as a family of three, or stuff with my parents? Want me to just hand the kid over after birth?
I know I'm over reacting, but I couldn't stop stewing about it and had to pull over and let DH drive the rest of the way home because I was so annoyed I started crying.
Sorry for the novel, but I needed to get that out a bit.
I'm sorry, but you do realize you're complaining about your ILs wanting to be involved, right? As a point of contrast, my ILs have made zero plans to come visit, never sent a single gift or card and generally have exhibited the enthusiasm of a dead fish about the whole thing. Yours sound excited, happy and eager to be involved, IMO. Wanna trade?
You'd be surprised how overwhelming over-involved parents/ILs can be. I think it's fair to complain about frustrations like this without having to add the caveat of how insanely grateful she is for the good parts, which I'm sure she is. Obviously the opposite problem isn't ideal either, in general having extreme levels of involvement on both ends of the spectrum can cause stress. Reminds me of a couple years ago when I moved into our new house and my parents were there every day, uninvited, trying to help with stuff - very well intentioned, but I felt a complete lack of control of independence, and it was virtually impossible to ask them to tone it down without major issues of feelings being hurt.
It's becoming a pet peeve of mine on this board in general when people complain about everything under the sun, but when someone doesn't relate to something, they attack someone for not being grateful for what they do have. I just want to advocate for the "complain and let complain" attitude! Because if we're given free range to whine about how terrible the Target website is as much as we want, I think it's also fair to use this as a safe place to complain about stressful in-laws, even when they're not like the worst human beings alive.
Did the time change kill anyone else??? I am wiped out, and that's after almost 10 hours of sleep last night!!
I don't know if it's the time change, or just the fact that I'm pregnant and tired all the time. I'm working from home, lying on the bed (probably not a good idea to begin with), and DH and the dog are both in the bed with me, snoozing and snoring away. It's tempting to take a "break" from work and join them!
@Aquinna82 - I wasn't referencing your comment. I like seeing alternate perspectives, just not putting down people for having an alternate perspective. I'm also sick and cranky, not sure if that is playing into any of my comments, but wouldn't be surprised.
Did the time change kill anyone else??? I am wiped out, and that's after almost 10 hours of sleep last night!!
The spring time change always kills me. Plus I seem to have insomnia every Sunday night, so the combo has left me looking like a zombie. A very pregnant waddling zombie.
I am blaming the time change for everything crappy that happened yesterday and today! This morning was so incredibly difficult and I am still half asleep. I just had lunch and hoped it would perk me up, but now I am sleepier than ever. I just want to take a nap!
Did the time change kill anyone else??? I am wiped out, and that's after almost 10 hours of sleep last night!!
For the first time in my life I am loving the spring time change. This way, I didn't feel so guilty when going to bed at 8:30p.m..... which would have been 7:30p.m. the day before. WIN!
We just got back from being over at the ILs for a while... they are definitely the type who say "Aw, you're leaving already?!" after you've been there for four hours, a sharp contrast to my own family who after two hours is usually like, okay see you soon. Once we couldn't make it over to the ILs for a couple weeks in a row and MIL emailed DH telling him to remember to keep in touch. Ridiculous.
Anyway, we were over there for a while, as well as SIL and BIL and their kids, youngest of which is about 4 months. FIL keeps talking about how he's looking forward to DH being over every day this summer with the baby (DH is a school guidance counselor so once maternity leave is over he'll be primary caretaker for the summer). MIL also works for the schools and FIL is retired, so they've always taken care of the grandkids during the summer. Which, yeah, we'll probably be over there more often, but the expectation of being there *every day* is overkill.
Then SIL keeps talking about how the kids can spend every day in the summer together and how when they're older the babies can play soccer and all the things they can do together and I just feel like Jesus christ, do we have to live in your laps once we have a kid? Do you have all our kid's future activities planned out to match yours? What about spending time as a family of three, or stuff with my parents? Want me to just hand the kid over after birth?
I know I'm over reacting, but I couldn't stop stewing about it and had to pull over and let DH drive the rest of the way home because I was so annoyed I started crying.
Sorry for the novel, but I needed to get that out a bit.
As someone with ILs who don't always understand boundaries or my need for them, I completely understand and empathize with this. It's been a worry for me too...ILs were constantly around BIL's wife while he was away for military stuff (and sometimes when he wasn't). Not that she wasn't grateful for the extra help, but she was also really overwhelmed by the constant visits, and they couldn't understand her need for a little bit of space to relax and bond with her LO. She actually came to me sobbing one day because apparently I was the only person who bothered to call and check with her if it was okay before showing up.
BIL and wife now live in another state, so DH and I will be the only nearby source of grandchildren. I've tried to set some boundaries now, but I'm not sure how much got through to them or if they are taking them seriously at all (DH's sis in particular just keeps trying to shoot them down and insists that I'll be begging for them to stay, especially during the first two weeks.) I guess we'll just have to wait and see...
Did the time change kill anyone else??? I am wiped out, and that's after almost 10 hours of sleep last night!!
I love this time change!! Instead of 645/7 wake ups, I'm getting 8 o'clock wake ups! It's glorious. DS wakes up with the sun lol
*******QBF*********
DS wakes up with the sun too-- but my pup and bladder still woke me up yesterday. Plus, DS had a super weird bedtime with it being light for so long. Between his going to sleep late, and me still needing to be up early (and his MOTN wake-up getting pushed to 4:30 rather than 3:30) I got less than 5hrs of sleep.
I just heard an all-call on the walkie for PBIS trained staff. While I am not, and cannot be involved in any restraints anyways, I know that they are going to need me to assess the student and staff after. However, it is 2:37pm, I am tired and planning to leave at 3pm. Also, since I was late this morning, I had to park in the back parking lot so it is going to take me at least 5 min to walk to my car. But if this situation continues, I could be here until well after 3pm, then not have time to run the 50 errands I have to do before I pick up my son at school. It is soooo much easier to run to the bank, pharmacy, etc without a toddler! Ugh.
We just got back from being over at the ILs for a while... they are definitely the type who say "Aw, you're leaving already?!" after you've been there for four hours, a sharp contrast to my own family who after two hours is usually like, okay see you soon. Once we couldn't make it over to the ILs for a couple weeks in a row and MIL emailed DH telling him to remember to keep in touch. Ridiculous.
Anyway, we were over there for a while, as well as SIL and BIL and their kids, youngest of which is about 4 months. FIL keeps talking about how he's looking forward to DH being over every day this summer with the baby (DH is a school guidance counselor so once maternity leave is over he'll be primary caretaker for the summer). MIL also works for the schools and FIL is retired, so they've always taken care of the grandkids during the summer. Which, yeah, we'll probably be over there more often, but the expectation of being there *every day* is overkill.
Then SIL keeps talking about how the kids can spend every day in the summer together and how when they're older the babies can play soccer and all the things they can do together and I just feel like Jesus christ, do we have to live in your laps once we have a kid? Do you have all our kid's future activities planned out to match yours? What about spending time as a family of three, or stuff with my parents? Want me to just hand the kid over after birth?
I know I'm over reacting, but I couldn't stop stewing about it and had to pull over and let DH drive the rest of the way home because I was so annoyed I started crying.
Sorry for the novel, but I needed to get that out a bit.
I'm sorry, but you do realize you're complaining about your ILs wanting to be involved, right? As a point of contrast, my ILs have made zero plans to come visit, never sent a single gift or card and generally have exhibited the enthusiasm of a dead fish about the whole thing. Yours sound excited, happy and eager to be involved, IMO. Wanna trade?
As a matter of fact, I do realize, since I literally wrote in my post that I knew I was over reacting. I'm very grateful for a lot of things they do, but I do feel they could respect our boundaries better.
Part of the issue is BIL'S family is halfway across the country, so aside from a visit every couple months, there isn't much getting in the way of time with their current grandkids. My parents are in town and it's not going to be the same for them with our kids - and I don't know that they really "get" that.
@arj14 Fair enough. It is just that talking about playing soccer and looking forward to summertime play doesn't sound overbearing to me. I suppose the grass is always greener...
I can understand how upsetting it would be to have parents or in-laws that were completely uninterested and uninvolved and wouldn't wish that on anyone, but I'm on the other side and have extremely aggressive in-laws who compete with my parents for time with us and future time with their grandchild (already trying to plan trips for the summer and fall even though my husband is starting a grad school program at the same time the baby is born that meets every other weekend while still working and we have repeatedly said we are not making travel plans.... But that's a story for another day). While we absolutely appreciate everything both sides do for us and while we know what they do is out of love, it really does cause a lot of stress and strain on our marriage to deal with competing sides and all the requests/demands on our time - time we also want as a new family of three. So I can totally empathize with @arj14's rant from yesterday and see that it's not coming from an ungrateful place.
Neither side of our families are particularly demanding or lacking interest, but I did want to add that I find it easier to tolerate or explain away my own family's annoying behavior than I am with my in laws. My dad and my in laws are total opposites and it still takes me a lot of patience to accept that my in laws want to see us every waking hour they're in town. At the end of the day you are making your own family and that new dynamic and the boundaries that come with it will take a little bit of time to settle and become normal for everyone.
Someone tell me it's not just me, but I think it's really tacky to ask people to host a baby shower for you when they didn't even offer. Funny enough, the girl who did that is having 2 showers in 2 weekends in a row and is inviting the same people from the first one to the second one too. Is that tacky and gift-grabby or what? I, sadly, regret getting this person a gift. Funny though, she has yet to offer to return the favor (seeing as she "can't make it" to my shower, but hasn't asked for my address or anything).
I found the perfect baby shower dress on Etsy. It was a vintage '60s piece, and I was so happy to get it, and then the seller had to email me all apologetic because she sold that dress out of her real-world shop the same day that I tried to buy it online.
sigh
I'll find another dress, but I really liked that one. Oh well.
Just started getting really into my hypnobirthing materials? Anyone else doing hypnobirthing? What do you think? How much do you practice?
Yes! Well, I'm doing hypnobabies, but it's the same idea as hypnobirthing. Also, the mother of a friend of mine is a professional hypnotist and has used hypnosis on dental/medical patients. She says it works really well (in fact, she has to be careful to not let them go to deep into hypnosis in case something goes wrong), so I'm feeling positive that it will work. I also threw in some yoga/meditation into the mix, so we'll see how that goes.
The only thing that has sucked so far is MH is supposed to read a script to me 3x a week; he was really into it the first couple of times but now I can tell he just reads it as fast as possible to get it over with (and go back to watching football or whatever). I get that it's not the most fun thing in the world, but jeez. I remember reading in my Bradley method book that husbands/partners of pregnant women should act like someone is paying them a million dollars to get their wife to run a marathon- so lots of attention, encouragement, massages, helping them do exercises, etc. Wish MH would be more like that!
@TheThornBird just started the second session myself! I love it so far... at first I thought I would feel silly but the entire concept makes complete sense.
A long time ago everyone was talking a lot about who they plan on having in the delivery room, but since it's coming up sooner now I've been thinking about this lately. I was talking to my husband about how it seems like from what I hear, the birthing classes are mostly so the husband can relate better and know what's going on, and how I really hope he does okay since I know he doesn't like hospitals at all or anything hospital-related (basically gets light-headed the second he walks inside). His response to me was, "I think I'll be okay... as long as I have a comfortable chair to sit in, and can relax and shut my eyes."
So yeah. Pretty sure I'll be inviting my mom along for support that won't pass out on me! If I didn't have her I would probably tell my husband to buck up and deal with it, but glad I have an alternate option to the guy who will just be trying not to faint during the delivery.
Re: **The Everything Random Thread for May 2016**
Anyway, we were over there for a while, as well as SIL and BIL and their kids, youngest of which is about 4 months. FIL keeps talking about how he's looking forward to DH being over every day this summer with the baby (DH is a school guidance counselor so once maternity leave is over he'll be primary caretaker for the summer). MIL also works for the schools and FIL is retired, so they've always taken care of the grandkids during the summer. Which, yeah, we'll probably be over there more often, but the expectation of being there *every day* is overkill.
Then SIL keeps talking about how the kids can spend every day in the summer together and how when they're older the babies can play soccer and all the things they can do together and I just feel like Jesus christ, do we have to live in your laps once we have a kid? Do you have all our kid's future activities planned out to match yours? What about spending time as a family of three, or stuff with my parents? Want me to just hand the kid over after birth?
I know I'm over reacting, but I couldn't stop stewing about it and had to pull over and let DH drive the rest of the way home because I was so annoyed I started crying.
Sorry for the novel, but I needed to get that out a bit.
My husband was painting the bathrooms yesterday and, god love him, he spilled nearly half a can of paint on the floor. I helped him clean it up, which involved a lot of kneeling down/standing back up, and running up and down the stairs. After awhile (and probably in part due to the paint fumes), I got sooo dizzy and nauseous! And unfortunately lasted the rest of the day. I feel better today but am still staying home from work tomorrow, just because I can't fathom that stupid commute.
Anyways, DH learned his lesson - be more careful with where you set the paint can (in fairness, he did a really nice job!)
Been married since 2009.
Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
Several MCs
DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
Today I am going for lunch at their place for the first time alone. I have a hard time understanding their German and jokes. And for some reason listening to them talk makes me super sleepy. Yay! DH comes on Friday and I can't wait!!!
I'm sorry, but you do realize you're complaining about your ILs wanting to be involved, right? As a point of contrast, my ILs have made zero plans to come visit, never sent a single gift or card and generally have exhibited the enthusiasm of a dead fish about the whole thing. Yours sound excited, happy and eager to be involved, IMO. Wanna trade?
DS: Born 5-17-16
I wasn't really expecting too much of a relationship on his end bc he literally has zero relationship with any of his older grandchildren, but I feel bad bc DH really wanted things to be different. I honestly would give anything for FIL to show some interest bc it means so much to DH. Not holding my breath though... I mean they guy didn't even call on DH's birthday a month ago.
MIL and my parents, family members, etc. are in contact constantly, and while sometimes annoying, I don't mind. Growing up I had zero communication with extended family and thinking back on it now I wish that hadn't been the case.
It's becoming a pet peeve of mine on this board in general when people complain about everything under the sun, but when someone doesn't relate to something, they attack someone for not being grateful for what they do have. I just want to advocate for the "complain and let complain" attitude! Because if we're given free range to whine about how terrible the Target website is as much as we want, I think it's also fair to use this as a safe place to complain about stressful in-laws, even when they're not like the worst human beings alive.
The spring time change always kills me. Plus I seem to have insomnia every Sunday night, so the combo has left me looking like a zombie. A very pregnant waddling zombie.
BFP #1: 9/12/2015
DD: 6/1/2016
BFP #2: 1/16/2018 MC 2/2/2018
As someone with ILs who don't always understand boundaries or my need for them, I completely understand and empathize with this. It's been a worry for me too...ILs were constantly around BIL's wife while he was away for military stuff (and sometimes when he wasn't). Not that she wasn't grateful for the extra help, but she was also really overwhelmed by the constant visits, and they couldn't understand her need for a little bit of space to relax and bond with her LO. She actually came to me sobbing one day because apparently I was the only person who bothered to call and check with her if it was okay before showing up.
BIL and wife now live in another state, so DH and I will be the only nearby source of grandchildren. I've tried to set some boundaries now, but I'm not sure how much got through to them or if they are taking them seriously at all (DH's sis in particular just keeps trying to shoot them down and insists that I'll be begging for them to stay, especially during the first two weeks.) I guess we'll just have to wait and see...
Part of the issue is BIL'S family is halfway across the country, so aside from a visit every couple months, there isn't much getting in the way of time with their current grandkids. My parents are in town and it's not going to be the same for them with our kids - and I don't know that they really "get" that.
Fair enough. It is just that talking about playing soccer and looking forward to summertime play doesn't sound overbearing to me. I suppose the grass is always greener...
DS: Born 5-17-16
also want as a new family of three. So I can totally empathize with @arj14's rant from yesterday and see that it's not coming from an ungrateful place.
sigh
I'll find another dress, but I really liked that one. Oh well.
The only thing that has sucked so far is MH is supposed to read a script to me 3x a week; he was really into it the first couple of times but now I can tell he just reads it as fast as possible to get it over with (and go back to watching football or whatever). I get that it's not the most fun thing in the world, but jeez. I remember reading in my Bradley method book that husbands/partners of pregnant women should act like someone is paying them a million dollars to get their wife to run a marathon- so lots of attention, encouragement, massages, helping them do exercises, etc. Wish MH would be more like that!
So yeah. Pretty sure I'll be inviting my mom along for support that won't pass out on me! If I didn't have her I would probably tell my husband to buck up and deal with it, but glad I have an alternate option to the guy who will just be trying not to faint during the delivery.