Baby Blues — The Bump
March 2016 Moms

Baby Blues

I am just going to throw this out there. I am a FTM and 10 days postpartum. Starting at about day 4/5 I have been having lots of crying spells over silly things and generally feeling a little down about my new normal.

I even have help, my mom, and I have a very supportive husband. I can't drive on my own due to the surgery and feel like I really just need to get out with baby and be "free". 

I have a successful career and I think the transition to doing nothing but sitting at home trying to recover from a C section and caring for my baby are big contrasts for me. 

Is is there anybody out there feeling blue or who has dealt with this before? I'm hoping this is just normal hormones after birth. 

Share with me your experiences please...

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Re: Baby Blues

  • I've been weepy after this LO (mostly bouts of intense crying over my dog's passing a few weeks ago), but otherwise I have felt ok.  General weepiness can be caused by hormone shifts in our bodies for sure.  With my first LO, I developed awful postpartum anxiety - everything made me fear for my child's safety, and it was very irrational (I have it a little with this one too but much less).  I think with such a big transition that you're going through, it can be a big game changer and cause mood shifts.  However, it never hurts to discuss your feelings with your OB about expectations and potential changes. 


    Knottie1456889319Synnovus
  • I cried alot the first week, and on/off the second. Also had alot of guilt over thinking i dont love her, and i wished we hadnt had her (she was totally planned and wanted) we are +2 weeks now and i think i have come out the other side. I know that i love her, although i still struggle a bit especially in the evening when im really tired and she gets fussy. Things will get better! I went for a walk with her today, it wasnt so good on the stitches but it was good for my
    mind and to feel a bit normal again to get out in the sunshine
    Knottie1456889319ClaireBear90
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  • I'm still pregnant with my first, but i just wanted to say that it's completely normal. at the birthing class i went to, the instructor was very adamant about it, saying that the hormone change is very intense & that a lot of women do lots of crying up to 8 weeks postpartum. she said a lot of women would come to class saying that they started crying over the most ridiculous things. don't worry, you're not crazy, just hormonal!
    Knottie1456889319ClaireBear90
  • I'm 8 days PP and have cried 6 of the last 8 days over silly stuff mostly. DH has been my rock and has been nothing but supportive over my crying. Usually he sees the tears coming beforehand and will talk me through the tears till I feel better again. I don't think it is PPD but rather just the drastic change in hormones and sleep deprivation. I keep telling myself the crying spells will pass and hopefully this will happen sooner than later. Hang in there, you are not alone!
    Knottie1456889319
  • It sounds like a case of post partum blues. If you're normally a very independent person but now find yourself having to rely on others for menial tasks, it's bound to take an emotional toll on you. It's a BIG lifestyle change you're experiencing, add on a touch of cabin fever and hormones going haywire, you're bound to have feelings about it all. I don't think it's anything to worry about just yet but at I'd still say it's good to mention it to your doctor at your next checkup. Not because you need medication or are at an extreme but because it's always helpful to have an unbiased medical perfessional keeping an extra eye open for your well being. 

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    smushiKnottie1456889319
  • amyidamyid
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    edited March 2016
    I'm guessing this will be me PP... People keep asking if I am "excited"... To which I give a genuine "no"... Even though my baby was very planned ! All I can say is that I very much applaud all of your bravery in facing this, admitting that it's happening to you, recognizing it and also trying to work through it. Just thinking about the "new normal" panics me now that I'm 2 days from induction especially after leading a very independent life and career.  
    Keep strong ladies, work through the tears and emotions and every day...every moment, look at that beautiful baby and remind yourself that you created that human being. You physically created something so complex and amazing and that nobody else could have and with a big deep breath, smile. Good luck to all - big hugs !! 
    Knottie1456889319
  • Yes it is very normal. My LO hasnt arrived yet but with DD, I cried over things like... Not able to find my chapsticks (Dh actually laughed when it happened and I almost yanked his head out) and the smallest comments my mom made about baby's feeding schedule, how I should hold the baby, etc.

    Honestly, I did not have that immediate bond/love with my DD. Some moms feel it since day 1 of pregnancy but mine was slowly developed over time. I almost wanted to go back to work so I could have some freedom. Just give it time. But if things do get worse, talk to your OB.
  • Thanks for the replies ladies. I feel better already just letting It out and knowing I'm not alone in this! 
    Had a long talk with my husband about it and I'm just adjusting my expectations for what I thought would be my " baby bliss" time :) 

  • Yes! I have baby blues. I read about it because I was worried I had lost partum depression- they are very similar! I read 70-80% of women get babyblues  post partum. Mine hit its peak when DH went back to work. I cried while doing dishes; I cried because I just wanted to hold LO but was so tired I couldn't; I cried because my pump wouldn't charge; I cried because DH was laughing too much at Far Side comics and I was irritated; I would just start crying for no reason at all. DH has been very supportive of all my crying. I told him to just watch me for PPD. Yesterday was better- it was the first day I didn't have a cry all day long!
    Knottie1456889319
  • I had my daughter Sunday, so I'm about 6 days postpartum. After 2 days of feeling sooo sad and emotional on and off, I realized I'm probably just having baby blues. My husband took a week off of work to help me with our newborn, since it's our first child and this is a huge learning experience. He's so happy and able to enjoy her on 2 hours of sleep, but the more tired I get, the more hopeless and emotional I tend to feel. I cry the second my husband shows me affection or says anything sweet I guess because I am so sad he has to go back to work next week and I'm so nervous about taking care of her all on my own for the 8 hours that he's gone a day. Also, I have CRIPPLING anxiety about her safety. Everything makes me feel guilty, like I'm a bad mom. And everytime we have visitors, I'm sick to my stomach watching them hold her because her head isn't in the perfect position or I'm terrified they could be sick, etc etc. And at night I'm so scared she'll stop breathing or something. It's extremely draining. I just need to find a coping mechanism because it gets very overwhelming and it's putting a damper on these precious first moments I have with my daughter.
    Knottie1456889319
  • Definitely normal! Having a baby is not as magical as the Hallmark cards make it seem ;) the fact that you said you want to get out, and with baby, are good! I had PPD and all I wanted to do was shell up in my house for weeks. PPD has more severe symptoms. Watch out for a lack of motivation to do anything- including eating, drinking, sleeping, getting off the couch, communication with anyone, and bonding with your baby. I distinctly remember calling my baby "it" on a semi-regular basis. 

    But it before it was full blown depression, I remember being weepy over sometimes nothing. I think mainly because nothing about my life was "normal" anymore, and I missed that. But if you start to experience any of the symptoms I mentioned above, then get help!

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    Knottie1456889319
  • My daughter is 24 days old. I've had only 1 day since I've had her that I didn't cry. Sometimes I get extremely hysterical, & while I hate to admit it, I cry sometimes because I want my old life back with just me and my 2 sons. She wasn't planned & her dad isn't involved which brings me horrible anxiety. Thankfully the past few nights I've got her sleeping in her Co sleeper so I can be in my own bed so I feel somewhat better getting sleep. I have zero help, literally none. So I think that's adding to my crying spells. She's such a good baby though & I fell in love instantly with her. But with my boys it took some time to feel that bond but it does come. :) also with my boys I got emotional but only for one day, and then I felt fine. I guess everyone is different, and will be sad longer or shorter than others, but I would think if you still feel this way at your 6 week check up then mention it to your Dr, that's what I plan to do if I'm still feeling like this. You're definitely not alone. 
    Knottie1456889319
  • @Cyntheziserr I have a lot of these same feelings. I cry when my husband tells me I'm beautiful holding our son. I aldo have anxiety that something is going to happen to my husband and then I'm going to be doing it all alone.
    I can't say normal or not but I do feel better everyday and I hope you do too 

  • Just another vote for normal at this point. These feelings can last 2-3 weeks, if they persist beyond that you'll want to contact your OB just so it's on her radar. There are so many causes at play, hormones, lack of sleep, etc.  It sucks and every time I can't wait until it passes. 
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    lexievelyn8179
  • Yup. Totally normal. On every count. With my firstly mom had warned me about crying and I'm so glad she did because I could literally feel the hormones swimming around from 3-5pm everyday and would just be sitting there crying for "no reason". 
    With this baby I'm taking 5 months maternity leave and deep down I know it's the best thing for me and I'll appreciate it in the summer I'm already sort of mourning not being at work. 
    ClaireBear90
  • I had it last time and having it again this time. First time, I didn't realize what it was (I was in denial that I could suffer from the baby blues)  and that was rough. As soon as I identified it, it became so much easier to deal with - I knew I wasn't crazy.   My OB offered me Valium if I needed it, but it didn't in the end.  Talk to your doctor if you think you need help coping. It really is completely normal.  Good for you knowing what you're dealing with right away.
    Knottie1456889319ClaireBear90
  • ceds07 said:
    I could literally feel the hormones swimming around from 3-5pm everyday and would just be sitting there crying for "no reason". 
    This is me exactly when I have a baby. :) For at least a week or two after birth, I cry every day like clockwork at 6pm. Thankfully it passes and my husband and I have learned to expect it and even laugh about it.
    It's a boy! Born 42 weeks, 2 days.
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  • ecwkecwk
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    No advice except to say I'm sorry you're going through this and I echo what the ladies above have said. I hope you feel better soon and it is a good thing that you recognize what's going on and are being proactive about it! 

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  • @ClaireBear90 right?? I was so thankful my mom had warned me in advance because I think I was so over-prepared to feel like that I was almost amused by it more than freaked out. DH was like is anything wrong and I could honestly say I knew it was hormones because nothing was wrong I just could.not.stop.crying. 
  • I cry in the evenings since about 4 days post partum.  I cry for my 2 1/2 year old little girl about her adjustment to the change which means less Mama time for her.  The new normal will be different and I don't want her to suffer.  The birth and my recovery has meant a break in our routine and I miss that!  I have also cried because I feel super responsible and that no one will ever be taking care of me like they did during my pregnancy and the first few days post partum.  I feel extremely vulnerable right now.  I want to be taken care of.  But I have perfectly good moments too.  Just wish I was hurting less and could get around better!
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  • SarahFoley725SarahFoley725
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    edited March 2016
    This hasn't happened to me (yet) but it is really normal. My cousin struggled with it for a week or two. My c section was a week ago and I'm starting to get restless at home with baby so I know how you feel. I hope you get to feeling better soon, just know it's totally normal (:
  • For me it's not crying, it shows its ugly head in the form of anger. I experienced it with DD1 and it took me a while to realize I was being so mean to DH. Once I realized I was being "mean", I would just breathe and apologize to him. Thank god he understood it was just hormones and most of the time took it was a grain of salt. This time (so far, I'm just over 2 weeks pp) I don't feel as hormonal. I'm trying my best to "be nice" and not let little things bother me. Just my experience with the baby blues. :)
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    mshukhClaireBear90oceanchild
  • Yes, definitely feeling this.  I'm 6 days pp and I cry over the stupidest things.  When I brought baby home, I cried when I switched out the panti-liners (from pregnancy) to the maxi pads (for post-partum) in my bathroom, LOL.  For some reason, it felt like a stark indication that my pregnancy was over & "new normal" was about to begin.  I find myself longing for my old life, even though baby was definitely planned.  I do have a history of anxiety & depression, so I'm keeping a close eye on it, but I'm holding onto the phrase "this too shall pass", b/c I'm pretty sure it's just the hormones & nothing more. 
    mshukhKnottie1456889319ClaireBear90
  • smushismushi
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    edited March 2016
    Man, when do the sads end???  I'm 3 weeks post partum with DS2, and I do not remember being this sad with my first.  Anxious, yes, but sad, not really.  Granted, my dog did die right before we had this baby, so I can't tell if it's normal grieving or not, but I'm so exhausted from crying.  I cry over the dog, I cry over not getting to love on my DS1 like I used to (and how our relationship has changed), I cry over being lonely (my husband had a nice amount of paternity leave but he returned to work on Monday).  I'm not usually a sad person, and I love my LO and I love nursing him and hanging out with him all day.  He's very easy.  But my eyes just burn constantly from all the crying.  Blarg.  It was easier when my husband was here, and I was busy and didn't have time alone with my thoughts, but now it's much tougher.

    Sorry, just had to let that out :(


  • eivaskaeivaska
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    edited March 2016
    Hugs @smushi hopefully you are feeling better soon! 
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    katy0990smushi
  • @smushi I hope you start feeling better soon. i totally get it. I thought I wasn't ever going to feel better. I just keep thinking "mind over matter". 
    I also gave up the hell that was nursing for me and I swear, I'm a new woman. 


    maelic
  • It's been a month today and I feel amazing compared to the first week with the baby. Hang in there everybody!
    mshukh
  • One week in and I am fighting the blues every evening. I hate this stage, I just have to remember that these are my last babies and need to enjoy every minute.
  • Hugs ladies! I had this with DS1 and now DS2. With DS1 I loved him but was overwhelmed about all the changes (even though I was well aware of what we were getting ourselves into before we conceived). I guess my best way of describing it was the mourning of the old life between my husband and I. It lasted several weeks and got better. The first couple weeks are so hormonal and full of sleep deprivation. It does go away and things get better. Soon you won't know what you did before this little bundle. ;) Knowing all that has really helped me with the blues this time. In currently mourning the old life of just dh and ds1 and worried I won't be able to give either kid all I want. Deep down I know it will get better though. Hang in there!
    BFP #1 - 12/30/12 - EDD 9/13/13 - CP

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    mshukh
  • I think I seriously have the pre-baby Blues waiting for DD2 right now. I'm having all of the 'omg what have we done' emotions and tears now. This overdue period is killing me.

    @alyshamarie007 'mourning period' is such a good way to put it. I distinctly remember having what I call (affectionately) an 'oh sh*t' moment - sort of an overwhelmed omg I am NEVER going to live another worry free moment again in my life. This was obviously part hormone driven but some of it really is just the adjustment period as you grow into the new reality too. 
    alyshamarie007mshukh
  • It's been a month for me, and I'm just now feeling more normal. The crying stopped for me after the first week, but the 'what the heck have I done' part is finally going away. I had an extremely hard time adjusting and I don't do well with sleep deprivation. Then with the stress of my milk never coming in and being unable to breastfeed, I was a complete wreck. Luckily, my SO has stepped up so much, even giving me a night or two a week to sleep completely through the night. But I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

    Its nice to know you're not crazy when you feel anything but. 
    hecubus330lexievelyn8179
  • ecwkecwk
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    @smushi big hugs to you!! I'm joining the ranks of those with baby blues. DS is 8 days old and I feel like crap. It's s little better than it was last week but I do not feel like myself at all. I'm trying to maintain the attitude that this will pass soon. I'm hoping it will. 

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    katy0990Knottie1456889319
  • @ecwk Oh no!  I'm so sorry.  I'm definitely 100% better this week.  So much less bluesy.  A few tears here and there that pop up, but nothing compared to the two weeks previous.  It'll go away for sure.  Now I'm just down to the anxiety but hopefully that will leave soon too.


    ecwkkaty0990Knottie1456889319
  • I had my daughter Sunday, so I'm about 6 days postpartum. After 2 days of feeling sooo sad and emotional on and off, I realized I'm probably just having baby blues. My husband took a week off of work to help me with our newborn, since it's our first child and this is a huge learning experience. He's so happy and able to enjoy her on 2 hours of sleep, but the more tired I get, the more hopeless and emotional I tend to feel. I cry the second my husband shows me affection or says anything sweet I guess because I am so sad he has to go back to work next week and I'm so nervous about taking care of her all on my own for the 8 hours that he's gone a day. Also, I have CRIPPLING anxiety about her safety. Everything makes me feel guilty, like I'm a bad mom. And everytime we have visitors, I'm sick to my stomach watching them hold her because her head isn't in the perfect position or I'm terrified they could be sick, etc etc. And at night I'm so scared she'll stop breathing or something. It's extremely draining. I just need to find a coping mechanism because it gets very overwhelming and it's putting a damper on these precious first moments I have with my daughter.
    I had my son Friday. I am a FTM and I feel you on the hardcore anxiety! Everything scares me. Everything. I have also had a couple of nightmares that wake me up in tears. It helps me to talk to SO about them and he reminds me that they are not real. The first one was so bad that I got out of bed and ran to the living room full on blubbering to check on DS. And then I called my mom still crying and she was still driving home from being here. The hormones are real. They can be scary. I always thought I'd be one of those glowing happy new moms because I'm generally happy person any way, but man if I haven't cried more than not since he was born. I'm feeling better today (6 days post partum) but I did have another nightmare last night. I hope you are feeling better. If you have anything that has helped you through the anxiety let me know and I will do the same for you! Good luck and congratulations on your new bundles!!

  • Today is 7 weeks. I think the daily crying started day one and didn't end till about week 5. I was getting worried that it was going on for so long but then it just stopped. I'm still having a hard time adjusting but thank goodness I'm not crying everyday on top of it 
  • Anyone have any tips for coping techniques to get through the blues, or things that momentarily help? Mantras, small things to help keep your head up? I've tried just focusing on positive things, like reading funny books during nursing sessions or watching comedies, but it's still tough at times, especially getting up in the mornings. 

    I'm a FTM 2 weeks postpartum and just hate this feeling of doom and gloom and regret, thinking "what did I do?". And the unpredictability of each day is scary (how/when is he going to sleep, eat today?) Just focusing on taking it a day at a time for now and hoping it gets better soon...

  • @ddjay315 I think what really helped me was researching baby blues and admitting I had them. Then I started to plan things for every day. Like going to meijer or just doing stupid things like walking the neighborhood. It gave me something to look forward to. Then once I peft the house 10 times on my own j started to realize that I could still make it and I enjoyed going around with my baby. 

    I would say the 3 week mark really changed things for me. I'm almost 5 weeks pp now and j feel like my old self 100%

    ecwkmshukhsmushi
  • Sorry for the errors. Feeding baby and typing 

  • For those whose guilt/sadness about the changed relationship with their first baby was a big component of their blues, any insights now that you've had more time to adjust?

    Today was our first full day home from the hospital and my almost 2 year old is so sad I can't pick him up (I did a few times despite feeling shaky and passed a big clot), super jealous of the baby breastfeeding and just generally off. The solution has been my husband taking him out of the house most of the day, but of course that makes me sad, too. And who knows what I'll do when he goes back to work. I've been crying a bit today and generally less concerned with the new baby than with DS1. Ugh, this is hard!
    smellbelle
  • @myla14 no great advice, just hugs. I totally underestimated how affected my 3.5 year old would be by her sister's arrival and its throwing me off too. It's REALLY hard to go from having only one that you're completely connected with and having to divide your attention with. I'm trying very hard to give her alone time when possible like reading books win the baby is sleeping and snuggling on the couch when we're watching a show, doing special art projects, etc. (all low impact things where we can sit together and be close). The other day baby was sleeping so I left her inside with DH and sat outside with DD while she played in the sandbox for an hour. The fresh air was good for both of us! She is still not totally adjusted but a week in and we're getting SLIGHTLY better. 

    Also, for BF - the doctor advised that when you're feeding baby make sure the older one has a snack too that takes them a long time to eat (box of raisins, cup of cereal, etc.) so it can be snack time for everyone and they feel included. I sort of rolled my eyes at her at first but it seems to be helping a bit. 
    MRoxy0628CalebsHabibi
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