Ugh...on the students nose picking and such...I teach 7th grade and have SEVERAL nose pickers (who also eat it...ew!) you'd think by now they would know better?
Aw man guys... After going so long never cuddling... And always having a kid right against me... I'm loving it! At night my stomach hurts and I'm too tired.
AnnaS930 said: Especially the morning.. like - No. It ruins the spontaneity of it all when I say "how bout you get up and brush your teeth and we try this again" BLECH!
This is me. I always ruin morning sex by insisting we brush our teeth first. Then we both need to pee, and we are out of bed and there is no sexiness left.
Oh, I am definitely in the "want to get up, brush our teeth and come back to bed?" camp! This doesn't happen much anymore as DD is an insanely early riser but, when it does, we do usually make it back to bed, so at least my aversion to morning breath doesn't kill the mood completely!
@JLmama118 - remember, caring for your LO is a full time job! That is why those who send their kids to daycare spend SO DAMN MUCH on childcare - it's a full time job in its own right! And you can bet that daycare providers aren't also doing things like cleaning home kitchens, or vacuuming an entire house, or grocery shopping, or doing an entire family's worth of laundry, etc. I always told my husband that if I were to ever stay at home, childcare would be priority one and chances are the house still wouldn't be clean and we still might need to get take-out a little more than we'd like. It's one of the major reasons why we decided I'd keep on working - he'd resent that fact that I 'was bumming around at home' and not keeping it tidy, but I told him that a tidy house will never, ever be a priority over teaching, exploring and playing with my kids. I sense that a maid service is definitely going to be in our future and there is no shame in that! We all have limited amounts of time and we need to choose how to spend it!
@runningisrad and @AnnaS930 ... May I remind you that you don't have to face eachother... I personally love early morning and middle of the night sex because usually I can just sort of lay there on my side while DH does all the work. I'm so sexy, I know
@PoodledoodleOoo - that's a good point.. but not enough to convince me. For me, the best time is either before bed (but let's be honest.. I'm snoring when my head hits the pillow) or right after a shower.. except I want to hop right back in after. I love my husband dearly.. but I don't want his sweat/hairs that he sheds (he's hairy) all over me.
I'm also in the no-sex-in-the-morning camp. It's too stinky/smelly for me.
As for maid service, we just started having someone come about once a month to deep clean the kitchen, living room and bathrooms. It's amazing and 1000% worth it for me. I'm considering having her come twice a month after baby is born, just so I can really relax and not be so worried about what the house looks like. I was ultra concerned about that with my first and I wasn't able to heal properly after my csection.
I started my registry pretty early (at 12 weeks) and have been slowly adding/researching items every day. It's on Amazon so it's quite convenient to do so I know others like to wait but I admit I was excited and as soon as I found out the sex I had the urge to find highly rated zip up onesies and "lock them in"
I keep trying to tell my husband, sex is fine, just don't expect me to make any effort to do anything. If he wants it, it's all on him. For whatever reason, that takes the fun out of it for him. I don't understand why.
I'm also in the no-sex-in-the-morning camp. It's too stinky/smelly for me.
As for maid service, we just started having someone come about once a month to deep clean the kitchen, living room and bathrooms. It's amazing and 1000% worth it for me. I'm considering having her come twice a month after baby is born, just so I can really relax and not be so worried about what the house looks like. I was ultra concerned about that with my first and I wasn't able to heal properly after my csection.
We started having someone clean every other week when LO was about 5 months old and I wish we had done it right away rather than waiting til I was going back to work (mostly work at home, but have to go in for 2 half-days). It is amazing. The deep-cleaning gets done by her and then I can stay on top of the day-to-day wipe downs, sweeping, etc. without being crazy exhausted. Our gal charges $50 per visit and it is the best $100 we spend each month.
If we want to buy in a few months we need to go a super strict budget. When we got married H was in grad school and then a post doc that paid peanuts so we just made sure we didn't spend more than what was coming in. We have never really budgeted and I don't wanna. H is great and loves to indulge me but this is the problem, I'm usually of the voice of reason but when I need one his response is "I just wanted to you to be happy." This is very cute but I need someone to stop me on occasion. If we had just 10 more months we would be just perfect without too much trying but with the lease up Sept 1 and baby coming Sept 26 we have to buy now (May-July) or move to another apt in which we will only be there for a year. I'm not for sure we can buckle down and really save what we need to
@jhems776- I'm not sure if you'd be comfortable with this (not sure if I would either) but given the time restraints do you have any close family that is in a financial situation that they could lend a little out with a date that you could pay them back in full? I hate borrowing money, but your situation with timing makes things a bit more urgent!
@jhems776- I completely understand your budget woes. DH just spends and spends "because it's only $10" and doesn't quite get that 10 items of $10 value is a lot of money to be spending on junk. I personally LOVE being on a budget as it gives me a sense of peace and control, but it's tough to get hubby on board as he's never really "shared" his income (and neither did his parents, and most of his close friends) so even convincing him to do a joint checking account was a huge ordeal.
We had a major sticker shock when we started looking at daycare recently. I mean, I knew how much it would be on a weekly basis, but I didn't realize how much of our income it would take overall. Even the crappy/dirty/worn down day care center was a bit too expensive and the only affordable option where we live has a few too many inspection violations that I'm just not comfortable with (mainly, hiring folks that failed the background check or weren't qualified/certified for their positions).
You can do it! I started a budget threat (it might be on the second page by now) and received a ton of great advice that I'll be utilizing in the near future!
@PoodleDoodleOoo- keep in mind that $5000 can be set aside pre-tax for childcare as long as you use a certified provider (can't be someone you're paying under the table.. but doesn't sound like you'd be going that route anyway). The $5000 annually out of my paycheck pre-tax honestly makes little/no difference in my biweekly paycheck.. and it's nice to get that much of childcare paid back to me, it's like a $415 reimbursement each month which right now is nearly 1/2 of what we spend on childcare (living in a cheaper area), and 1/4 of what we'll be spending at the end of the year with 2. Hey - it's something!
@PoodleDoodleOoo You've given me the last push I needed to finally, earnestly, look into a maid service. It is so damned demoralizing to know my husband and I have X hours of "free" time each day, but realistically 1/2X will be spent cleaning frantically and halfassedly. We're good to stay ahead of the tsunami of dishes and laundry, let alone handle deep cleaning.
September '16 - May Signature Challenge Awkward Family Fun
I know we still have 26 weeks left to think of a name but my husband is getting on my nerves! I went through all the names on babble.com and not one name did my husband say yes put on the list.
Afternoon sex is the best sex, but unfortunately we have a non-napping cock-blocker on our hands, so it's difficult. I can't even get her to stay in her room for "quiet time" anymore.
I am a SAHM, and it took me awhile to get the hang of housework and keeping the house decently tidy, and honestly the house is never completely clean at any point in time. I put DD in mom's day out on Tues/Thurs (9:00-2:00) and it is the sole reason DH was able to convince me to get pregnant again. Such a lifesaver.
Anyway, my FFFC is that my sister came by today for a couple of hours to play with DD so I could catch up on the house after last week's flu epidemic. I cleaned for about 30 minutes and then got stuck arguing with an anti-vaxxer on FB for like 45 minutes. I was still able to rush and get a good bit of cleaning done the last half hour she was here though. At least enough for DH to think I accomplished something today *shrug*
@AnnaS930 We do, I'm pretty sure my parents could do it without feeling it but I hate asking. I think I will present the situation and see if they volunteer. I also didn't know you can set aside pre-tax money for daycare, I will be looking into that.
@PoodleDoodleOoo I did see your thread, here is another FFFC I put off clicking on it for days but finally did this morning. We still have two checkings because H had a bad habit of spending everything (which back in the day was not much so not that big of deal) so I set it up were he paid a lot of the monthly bills and I saved (or at least attempted to). Now we need to go to one so we have a clue of what is going on. For the last year both of us thought the other was saving more, we saved a chunk but I think we could have save 50% more easy. Oh hindsight.....
@thetamedshrew re non-napping issues - my daughter also has stopped napping, except occasionally. She gets baby gated in her room for "quiet time". Call it toddler jail, if you will. As long as she's not crying, she stays in there for an hour.
@TheTamedShrew Yes on afternoon sex! Best time of the day because we're (usually) clean, and I have all the energy. We have a decent napper, but it still doesn't happen all that much anymore.
@jhems776 - we just very recently "combined" our accounts (basically, our names are both on all of them) but we still have it where DH's paycheck and mine aren't ever put in the same accounts - so they're together, but really separate. It's a problem we're working through because we realized we can't turn a blind eye to each others spending habits any more. We just can't afford it! Especially when he makes almost three times more than I do (which means he gets more playing money - harumph!) And I'm with you. I think DH and I could have prepared a lot more for this bundle of joy had we actually combined sooner. We're going on vacation at the end of March (yay!) and I think after that, it's going to be extreme makeover "budgeting for a baby" edition in our household.
My FFFC is last night I hid my phone in a towel for an hour so I could bump/shop/text without being attacked by my toddler. He's going to catch on sometime soon but right now this plan is working marvelously.
@jhems776@PoodleDoodleOooMy husband and I have separate accounts for direct deposit/"personal" money and a joint checking/savings account for all of our other fun expenses like bills, childcare, groceries, gas, etc.
I really like the system we've worked out. Personal money is a small percentage of our take-home, but it's nice because I have full independence over whatever I do with my personal funds. My gym subscription comes out of that account, one-off video game purchases, or I can save/splurge later If I wanted to get myself a piece of (NSFW WARNING) Modern Art. Hubby gotta deal.
We budget out the joint account pretty rigidly so we have very little to talk about month-to-month when it comes to finances, and I like it that way. If I think about certain aspects of it too much (I'm looking at you, absurd childcare costs) it stresses me so I'm glad it's all worked out in advance.
September '16 - May Signature Challenge Awkward Family Fun
@Thurstobertay - I'm thinking that system will work out best for us as well. Like you get xx money for this pay period to spend on gas for your car, personal care items, entertainment, eating out, and whatever else you want to spend your money on that isn't a part of the regular household budget. If you want something that's out of your reach, well then too bad, or save up for it using your allotment!
I'm almost considering going this route. I will discuss it with my husband tonight. For those who read the randoms post I had an angry morning with husband wasting money on FanDuel (online sports betting). It wasn't a huge amount but it pissed me off. If we agreed to a certain amount of "burn money" each month - just accept that it'll be gone come the 30th of each month without worrying what it went to, maybe I could handle that.
We do something very much like @Thurstobertay described. Our pay checks go into the same joint account, but we each have a "fun money" account that we get an allowance in each month.
We we got married when I was 37 and he was 42, so getting used to "sharing" all of our income except a small allowance was a real change. BUT it has done so much good for us--we get to share financial victories and we also share the burden of financial difficulties (student loans and what have you). I feel like it has done a lot to make us a team, if you will. We have managed to achieve so many of our financial goals in the almost 4 years we have been married by working together on them like this.
Anyway. For those of you considering something like that, I say go for it! It takes some getting used to, but I think the upsides are pretty great.
My FFC, and I feel like I deserve to be flamed, is that I hate when my husband cleans. Everytime he lifts a finger to do something he makes it a point to act like he deserves a freaking trophy for it and it's sooo annoying.
@Thscary I used to thank my husband for cleaning up. "Thanks for doing the dishes! Thanks for doing the laundry!" and then I stopped. I don't expect thanks when I do normal, human adult things, nor do I need thanks for doing normal, human adult things. Nor should he. He is a grown person, and I should treat him like one. That's my thinking. I think it irritates him.
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
Agree. I have no problem thanking him for going above and beyond and I do appreciate it, but when you are doing regular household responsibilities and expect praise for it, then no. And what irks me more is that he acts like he's the only one Contributing because he cleans once or twice a month. I guess the bills, the groceries, the errands, taxes, the dog walks, appointments, etc all get done by themselves
Agree. I have no problem thanking him for going above and beyond and I do appreciate it, but when you are doing regular household responsibilities and expect praise for it, then no. And what irks me more is that he acts like he's the only one Contributing because he cleans once or twice a month. I guess the bills, the groceries, the errands, taxes, the dog walks, appointments, etc all get done by themselves
I've worked evenings all week and haven't spent much time with my DD. Tomorrow I should spend time bonding, but I'm going to the city to spend some time with my sister. I swear I love my kid.
Just catching up on everything a little late but like @Thurstobertay my husband and I each have our own seperate checking accounts that our paychecks go into, but we have a joint account that we both contribute to, pretty much on ratio to how much we make (he makes a lot more than me), that we pay bills out of, grocery shopping, etc. What stays in my own account is really my money to do with what I please-- although now with a little one on the way, we're both contributing more to the joint savings and having a little less "fun" money. It works for us very well!
Re: FFFC
@runningisrad and @AnnaS930 ... May I remind you that you don't have to face eachother... I personally love early morning and middle of the night sex because usually I can just sort of lay there on my side while DH does all the work. I'm so sexy, I know
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
@PoodledoodleOoo - that's a good point.. but not enough to convince me. For me, the best time is either before bed (but let's be honest.. I'm snoring when my head hits the pillow) or right after a shower.. except I want to hop right back in after. I love my husband dearly.. but I don't want his sweat/hairs that he sheds (he's hairy) all over me.
As for maid service, we just started having someone come about once a month to deep clean the kitchen, living room and bathrooms. It's amazing and 1000% worth it for me. I'm considering having her come twice a month after baby is born, just so I can really relax and not be so worried about what the house looks like. I was ultra concerned about that with my first and I wasn't able to heal properly after my csection.
I keep trying to tell my husband, sex is fine, just don't expect me to make any effort to do anything. If he wants it, it's all on him. For whatever reason, that takes the fun out of it for him. I don't understand why.
We had a major sticker shock when we started looking at daycare recently. I mean, I knew how much it would be on a weekly basis, but I didn't realize how much of our income it would take overall. Even the crappy/dirty/worn down day care center was a bit too expensive and the only affordable option where we live has a few too many inspection violations that I'm just not comfortable with (mainly, hiring folks that failed the background check or weren't qualified/certified for their positions).
You can do it! I started a budget threat (it might be on the second page by now) and received a ton of great advice that I'll be utilizing in the near future!
Awkward Family Fun
I am a SAHM, and it took me awhile to get the hang of housework and keeping the house decently tidy, and honestly the house is never completely clean at any point in time. I put DD in mom's day out on Tues/Thurs (9:00-2:00) and it is the sole reason DH was able to convince me to get pregnant again. Such a lifesaver.
Anyway, my FFFC is that my sister came by today for a couple of hours to play with DD so I could catch up on the house after last week's flu epidemic. I cleaned for about 30 minutes and then got stuck arguing with an anti-vaxxer on FB for like 45 minutes. I was still able to rush and get a good bit of cleaning done the last half hour she was here though. At least enough for DH to think I accomplished something today *shrug*
@PoodleDoodleOoo I did see your thread, here is another FFFC I put off clicking on it for days but finally did this morning. We still have two checkings because H had a bad habit of spending everything (which back in the day was not much so not that big of deal) so I set it up were he paid a lot of the monthly bills and I saved (or at least attempted to). Now we need to go to one so we have a clue of what is going on. For the last year both of us thought the other was saving more, we saved a chunk but I think we could have save 50% more easy. Oh hindsight.....
I really like the system we've worked out. Personal money is a small percentage of our take-home, but it's nice because I have full independence over whatever I do with my personal funds. My gym subscription comes out of that account, one-off video game purchases, or I can save/splurge later If I wanted to get myself a piece of (NSFW WARNING) Modern Art. Hubby gotta deal.
We budget out the joint account pretty rigidly so we have very little to talk about month-to-month when it comes to finances, and I like it that way. If I think about certain aspects of it too much (I'm looking at you, absurd childcare costs) it stresses me so I'm glad it's all worked out in advance.
Awkward Family Fun
We we got married when I was 37 and he was 42, so getting used to "sharing" all of our income except a small allowance was a real change. BUT it has done so much good for us--we get to share financial victories and we also share the burden of financial difficulties (student loans and what have you). I feel like it has done a lot to make us a team, if you will. We have managed to achieve so many of our financial goals in the almost 4 years we have been married by working together on them like this.
Anyway. For those of you considering something like that, I say go for it! It takes some getting used to, but I think the upsides are pretty great.
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad