Back story: my husband have been NTNP for two months, then we tried, got pregnant, and had a miscarriage.
Our midwife cleared us to try again. But, I am unsure, since if we got pregnant this month, he/she would be a December baby, right around Christmas.
My question is, have you thought about the month, and skipped trying a month because of an undesirable birth date? Is a December, January, February, March birthday really so bad? I was really hoping for an April -> November birth date, but now I don't want to wait that long. I am not sure if I should be patient, or if I am overthinking this. Thoughts?
Re: Planning Birth Month - Yes or No?
This will not likely be well received, considering so many women try for months to get pregnant with no success/IF, or sadly suffer from losses. They'd be happy with any baby at any time, as long as it's healthy.
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
I just think you're overthinking it and if you start down that path, there will always be a reason to skip a month. Some people don't like summer birthdays, some might not want to be super pregnant summer and avoid an early fall date. I would caution against doing that. It's also really hard to time conception with an ideal birth month since conceiving isn't always easy. A healthy couple only has a 20 percent chance of conceiving in a given month. Something else to consider.
But, for what it's worth, my son's birthday is in January and there isn't any problem with that. So no, it's not really so bad. Just go for it!
OP, I am sorry for your loss. Another reason I would say, don't try to plan conception/birth.
LFAF April Siggy Challenge - TV/Movie BFFS - Romy & Michele
For most people in a first-world society, there's little need to plan around certain seasons. I'll be happy with a healthy pregnancy whenever it comes, birthday be damned. In fact, a pregnancy for me this month would have birth falling around thanksgiving and next month would mean Christmas, getting me out of holidays with my in laws...
Married 10/12/13
TTC #1 since 10/15
Chart!
Married: July 2015
BFP: 5/20/16 | EDD: 1/28/17 | Twin boys born 1/16/17
This post might no go over well here. GL.
***TW: MC Mentioned (Not mine)***
Also, you might want to include a trigger warning in regards to your miscarriage.
No
I started TTC January 2015. In March 2015 I knew it would be a December due date and it wasn't my preferred month but I didn't care. I would/will be so happy no matter when I have a baby. I actually thought "This will be my birth month because it's not my ideal choice" but it didn't work. I have an early January birthday. I personally hate that my birthday is so close to Christmas but I live. I won't avoid because it's not ideal month.
*TW loss mentioned*
When I finally got pregnant after 10 months of trying I was due in August. That wasn't ideal because DH is extremely busy at work that month. However, it didn't matter. We'd make it work.
*end TW*
My point: Do what you want to do. Just remember your plan might not go as planned.
~Formerly @dogmomwantinghuman ~
TTC #1 since January 2015
BFP #1: 11/30/15| MC 12/16/15BFP # 2: 6/2/16 | EDD 2/16/17
BFP May 16th 2016
DD born January 30 2017
Surprise BFP/MC April 2017
*Sigh* just give me a baby, IDGAF what day they are born. You are way overthinking this.
BFP on 7/2/2013
Oh I SURE have. In fact, I recently found a note on my phone from pre-TTC wherein I listed all the conception month and birth month pairs. I even had asterisks next to the best months to conceive so we could have our baby in months that were better for us. Months with minimal anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, etc.
And now, a year later, on month six of TTC, I want to punch Past Me in her stupid face.
Past Me is a stupid moron that thinks it's super easy to get pregnant. Current Me would like to tell Past Me that in the long run, none of that shit matters in the slightest. I would be happy to have a baby during our busiest family months. A baby with a Christmas birthday. A baby born on February 29th. I would just be happy to have a baby. The day the baby is not even remotely important.
So no, don't be patient. Go have some unprotected sex. Right now.
Because there's a very real possibility that TTC in general will test your patience and there's zero guarantee you'll get pregnant when you want to. As the saying goes "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans."
God lawled so hard at my phone note.
I wanted to get pregnant in November or December because it would've been perfect for Asshat Past Me's Life Calendar. And now? Now I just want to get pregnant. Period.
Yeah I remember having that sentiment when we first started trying. Now two losses, a guaranteed high risk pregnancy if it happens and lots of medication later, I would be happy with any healthy child that I could carry to term seeing as even if I do get KU, a have a 20% chance of loss through the entire pregnancy.
Previously nweg...7878
Now 8 months later, on CD 48 of cycle 5, I just wanna be KTFU. Bring on the thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, valentines baby, IDGAF.
DS: 5 years old
TTC #2 since August 2015
July 2016: Testing cycle with 100 mg Clomid = BFN
August 2016: 50 mg Clomid + IUI = BFN
October 2016: IVF#1 - 13 retrieved / 12 mature / 9 fertilized / 2 blasts
November 2016: FET#1 = chemical
January 2017: FET#2 = chemical
March 2017: IVF#2 - 18 retrieved / 18 mature / 16 fertilized / 5 blasts
May 24, 2017: FET#4 - BFP! - Beta #1 151 - Beta #2 503 - Due date 2/9/18
For the record, I'm a February baby and I think I turned out pretty well and DH is a December baby and I find him delightful (for the most part). Also have never heard either of our parents complain about how undesirable and inconvenient our birthdays were, just gotta roll with it.
Edit: some words and GIF location
Him:31
Married: Sept'15
TTC#1: Jan'16
PCOS Dx: Apr'16
BFP #1: Jul'16
DS Born: Mar'17
Me: 28 | DH: 31
Together since 2006 | Married May 2015
TTC #1 since November 2015
BFP 5/17/16 | EDD 1/27/17 | Born 2/4/17
****TW previous pregnancies and pregnancy issues********
In my BMB for L we had a lady have to have an emergency C section at 24w1d because she had severe eclampsia. Her little girl is still struggling at almost 1 yr later.
Another lady was due Aug. 21st, she didn't have her little boy until Sept. 2nd after 3 failed inductions.
I was due Aug. 7th. I developed eclampsia, had an undiagnosed IUGR and L was delivered via Emergency C section, after he turned breech in my induction, on Aug. 4th.
Even if you were to miraculously get KTFU exactly when you wanted, there are so many things that affect LO's birthday that its not even worth trying to time their birth.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
Then I'll take one!
ntnp #2 . summer 2018
*siggy warning*
ttc#1 . jul 2015
mmc . mar 2016 | 6w2d
dx PCOS (non-IR) / subclinical hypothyroidism . summer 2016
tx metformin, levothyroxine, LP progesterone, femara + trigger + ti . fall/winter 2016
BFP! . jan 2017
DD . oct 2017
Me: 31 | Husband: 32
Married: September 2014!
TTC #1: January 2016 BFP 5/16/16 Quinn Born 1/27/17
I just want a healthy baby anytime of the year OP. I would never consider preventing for a few months just because it might not be an ideal birthday. To me that seems a little selfish.
Me: 28 DH: 29
Married: August 2014
TTC #1 Since March 2015
Diagnosed with PCOS March 2016
SA results normal April 2016
3 rounds clomid + trigger + TI = BFN
3 rounds clomid + trigger + IUI = BFN
Uterine polyp removed July 2017
Round 1 IVF January 2018
My best friends Bday is a few days before Christmas. She's fine. A perfectly healthy, wildly successful In fact, young woman.
Also...
"you get what you get and you don't throw a fit". I used to teach pre school and I find that many adults should probably re do preschool. So many good life lessons...
Married May 2014
TTC Nov 2014-Aug 2016
Aug 2015 Dx: Thyroid Cancer and Hashimotos
Total Thyroidectomy October 2015
Ovarian Cystectomy Nov 2015
CANCER FREE and resumed TTC Dec 2015.
Married May 2014
TTC Nov 2014-Aug 2016
Aug 2015 Dx: Thyroid Cancer and Hashimotos
Total Thyroidectomy October 2015
Ovarian Cystectomy Nov 2015
CANCER FREE and resumed TTC Dec 2015.
I'm supposed to be having a baby in June. Except now I'm not even pregnant. I'm 4 months post d&c and 2 cycles into this trying thing. I just want a baby growing back in my uterus. I dgaf when its due.
ETA: I get that it's a legitimate question for someone who is completely naive to the ttc world.... But you didn't study your audience. You might as well have walked into a room of starving children and said "hmm.... Should I eat this slice of chocolate cake now, or later".
Lucy 07-13-11
Violet 03-13-14
Conceived #3 since September 2015
11-25-15 twelve week loss
07-21-16 ten week loss
10-03-16 5 week loss
TTC again soon!
I want a baby. We are coming up on a year since starting ttc. We should have had a baby in February, but didn't. We never thought to try for a specific month, because you never know. We held off starting ttc for five months because I was in a wedding. I'm still mad we waited. Our baby can arrive on any day he or she wants. Even Christmas. I don't think Jesus will mind sharing the day, so I won't either.
I just want a baby.
I'm a planner. I wanted a baby in late spring/early summer. What a nice time to be on maternity leave! And it would be great timing with my job. We started TTC in the fall and figure that even if it took a few months we'd still get a summer baby. We got pregnant right away. A May baby. Perfect.
Except the pregnancy ended up being ectopic and I had to get methotrexate and then wait 3 months to TTC. Goodbye summer baby. And then, right as we were getting ready to TTC again, we found out that I had a high TSH and I needed to be put on thyroid meds. Goodbye, fall baby. These days, I will happily take that Dec/Jan/Feb baby if I get one. But I also know that I'm at higher risk for another ectopic now, and I could easily end up pushed back 3 more months if I get pregnant and have another ectopic pregnancy.
And FWIW, there was no way we would have ever thought we'd have an ectopic. I have none of the risk factors.
So, priorities change. But with that said, the world won't be over if you wait a month to start TTC again. I avoided TTC last month because we were going on vacation and between the risk of Zika and the risk of being pregnant with an ectopic on an island, it wasn't right for me. You do you.
IUI August 2016 : Cancelled due to polyp
September 2016: Polyp removal/hysteroscopy
October 2016: IUI #1- BFN
November 2016: IUI #2- BFN
December 2016: IUI #3 - BFN
January/February 2017 - IVF + ICSI + PGD
March 2017 - FET
LFAF February Siggy Challenge - "Favorite TV/Movie Couple"
DD: 10/17/13
TTC#2 Actively: 10/14, NTNP: 01/14
Left-Sided Hydrosalpinx (cause: genetic abnormality, TREATED 11/16)
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/396b04
I have an interesting work situation. I work 60 hrs/week on average for 1/2 the year and then 30 on average the rest. There is talk about bumping our summer hours down to 16. We haven't hit the time in this TTC cycle where we need to make a decision yet, but there would have to be a discussion between DH and myself if we hit a window where I would give birth, say, in June. It would really, really suck to use my entire maternity leave over the summer when I work much, much less (potentially only 2 days starting this year). With that said, I would never TTA based on having a "holiday baby", same month as "X" person's birthday, etc.
LFAF February Siggy Challenge - "Favorite TV/Movie Couple"
DD: 10/17/13
TTC#2 Actively: 10/14, NTNP: 01/14
Left-Sided Hydrosalpinx (cause: genetic abnormality, TREATED 11/16)
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/396b04
Oh em gee... So much. When my son and I were on the verge of death and were being carted to the OR and i remembered it was TAX DAY... I was like F this noise. We decided to keep him in and risk lives so he could be the specialist snowflake in all the land.
No, we didn't. Because you are not in control. You aren't in control of when you get KTFU or none of us would be here to read this, and your certainly not in control of when your child is born.
Good luck to you, but I wouldn't wait for this reason. But, if you get what we're all trying to say here and it resonates, feel free to stick around, lurk and participate in our daily threads. You'll be happy you did
LFAF February Siggy Challenge - "Favorite TV/Movie Couple"
DD: 10/17/13
TTC#2 Actively: 10/14, NTNP: 01/14
Left-Sided Hydrosalpinx (cause: genetic abnormality, TREATED 11/16)
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/396b04
I think it's okay to acknowledge or muse over perfect expected due dates. It's so fun when you're early in the process to create this "4th trimester" fantasy life. In my case it was a bad idea to fixate on that fantasy however, because now it's March and when we started all this I had starry eyes about getting pregnant right away and welcoming a March baby.
Anyway, even after starting the whole infertility workup today DH and I were still talking about how much Christmas birthdays suck... but think about it this way-- it's December 26th and you have a healthy newborn in your arms. *Is this something you want?* I certainly do, as well as basically every woman here. You said "I don't want to wait that long", so my advice is: don't. Good luck!
April 2016 - AMH, FSH, Progesterone normal
June 2016 - HSG clear
*TW* BFP - Aug16, demise confirmed Sep16, incomplete m/c, D&C Nov16
BFP 3/27/17, edd 12/7/17
DS - 12/9/17
TTC #2 December 2018
BFP 2/22/19, edd 11/4/19
DD - 11/1/19
My Chart
Even if you plan on waiting to ttc, you can't plan it all.
So, no.
DH: 33
Married: October 2015
TTC #1: October 2015
EDD #1: June/July 2017