Men suck. I think we can all agree on that. Knock us up and then complain the entire 9 months that they have to do some extra housework. Try carrying a dam baby for 9 months then get back to me about how annoying it is that you have to do the dishes and laundry after your day of work. I grew a human today and went to work...I win. End of discussion, please finish the laundry.
@yogahh Oooh, and you know what? My mom still has a scar on her hand from the time when she tripped in the kitchen, threw her hands out, and one of them landed right in the middle of the knives, which were sticking up (this was back when she was young and dishwashers were still somewhat new to my grandmother's house, apparently - they didn't become as widespread as they are now until the 70s). I still get a lecture about it anytime she comes by and I'm doing dishes. I haven't put the knives in the dishwasher pointy end up since I was old enough to do them on my own, but DH still does, which I'm going to have to work on. If nothing else, it's a safer practice to adopt for when LO is mobile and getting into everything.
DH just scored a few points. Some wacko in our area is pepper-spraying women. So he wants me to call him the second I get off the train and stay on the phone with him until I get home. I guess I can take away my rage about the pipe... but not about the name change!
Be extra vigilant while on the phone- often being on a phone can make you a bigger target, since they assume (usually rightfully so) that you're not paying attention to your surroundings. And don't be afraid to stare down people or tell them to back away, even if they seem to have a legitimate excuse (asking for the time, or how far along you are, etc).
Men suck. I think we can all agree on that. Knock us up and then complain the entire 9 months that they have to do some extra housework. Try carrying a dam baby for 9 months then get back to me about how annoying it is that you have to do the dishes and laundry after your day of work. I grew a human today and went to work...I win. End of discussion, please finish the laundry.
It was my birthday on Monday & when I got DS down for the night I took a hot bath and told DH he needed to: do the dishes, one load of laundry, take out the trash, and red up the house. He said, " I'll do one of those things." Um no. I do those things multiple times a day while carrying one baby in my belly and one on my hip.
Confession time. I just got home from work and I'm too tired to cook. So I utilized the Dominoes app. He's on the way. However I kind of forgot about the social interaction involved in pizza delivery, and I have already released the girls from Boob Jail. I'm definitely not putting a bra back on for the pizza guy. So I will be answering the door with unrestrained DDs, and I have no fucks to give.
Confession time. I just got home from work and I'm too tired to cook. So I utilized the Dominoes app. He's on the way. However I kind of forgot about the social interaction involved in pizza delivery, and I have already released the girls from Boob Jail. I'm definitely not putting a bra back on for the pizza guy. So I will be answering the door with unrestrained DDs, and I have no fucks to give.
You go girl! I ordered delivery like 4 days in a row last week and I answered the door without a bra and with my belly hanging out of the bottom of my "big" tshirts every single time. No shame!
Confession time. I just got home from work and I'm too tired to cook. So I utilized the Dominoes app. He's on the way. However I kind of forgot about the social interaction involved in pizza delivery, and I have already released the girls from Boob Jail. I'm definitely not putting a bra back on for the pizza guy. So I will be answering the door with unrestrained DDs, and I have no fucks to give.
I figure the delivery guys gets to glimpse a nip, that's $1 less of a tip I have to give
So...my bp was elevated last time I was seen by my ob (2 weeks ago) and was super elevated today. I'm waiting to get called back for bloodwork now and they're sending me home with a collection container so I can collect 24 hours worth of urine starting tomorrow morning. They said they'll run more bloodwork when I bring in my pee container on Thursday and they want to see me in a week to discuss results as they're concerned about pre-eclampsia. My husband is deployed, my family lives across the country, I'm severely allergic to all narcotics and due to my chronic pain condition, the usage of epidural or spinal block pretty much goes out the window (I'm saying this because obviously if I'm diagnosed the chances of c-section go way up) and now I'm freaking out about having to have this baby early, with nobody around me, and with huge hurdles to jump as to get he or she here safely. Is there anything I can do now to help better my chances at NOT receiving a diagnosis next week? I've been following the Brewer's diet and my Bradley instructor checks our weekly eating at our meetings and she says it looks great, so I'm not sure that diet is an issue. Just wondering if there's anything at all that I can do or if it's out of my hands at this point in time.
I have no advice but big bugs to you. We are here for you and T&P for good results.
Been married since 2009. Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter) Several MCs DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
I legit just got upset when I remembered about daylight savings time this coming Sunday. I already don't get enough sleep. Now I get an hour taken away.
Now you've made me mad bc I didn't realize that.
Been married since 2009. Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter) Several MCs DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
In what universe is it ever ok to cut your nails and cuticles in the waiting room of a doctor's office (or anywhere in public really)? I thought that was common knowledge but apparently the woman waiting along with me didn't get that memo?
OMG yes! I have a coworker that clips her toenails at work.
Been married since 2009. Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter) Several MCs DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
Last night I was at my yoga studio in the lobby after prenatal yoga, enjoying my decaf chai tea. Two older women who were touring the studio walked by me and one said to the other, quite loudly and in a clearly disgusted voice: "Ugh! There are so many pregnant women..."
I'm standing right here and I'm not deaf. Yes, you will see a number of pregnant women when you come in right after PRENATAL yoga. B!tches.
Last night I was at my yoga studio in the lobby after prenatal yoga, enjoying my decaf chai tea. Two older women who were touring the studio walked by me and one said to the other, quite loudly and in a clearly disgusted voice: "Ugh! There are so many pregnant women..."
I'm standing right here and I'm not deaf. Yes, you will see a number of pregnant women when you come in right after PRENATAL yoga. B!tches.
I don't understand this at all and I get this a lot actually like if I'm at the store, getting lunch, just out anywhere in general. DH and I were actually at the park walking the other day and heard someone say something pretty similar. I guess I don't understand the big deal about being around pregnant women... People are just rude I guess.
@yogahh. Your DH and mine sound very similar. We went 7 rounds over me changing my last name, which I did not want to do, but I finally relented because I didn't want to fight anymore. It's how he often wears me out with big decisions - I just get tired of going back and forth and say FINE and let him have his way.
He also will deliberate and put off things forever but then the minute he is ready to deal with it or talk about it, I better be ready to do so at the exact same moment too, or he will be annoyed. It's incredibly frustrating and I feel your pain. And dude... pointy end down is the only way to go on knives. Anyone who does it differently is wrong.
For a long time whenever he was being a butthead I would tell him "Be nice to me. I changed my name for you." but now the card I play is "Be nice to me. I'm carrying your children."
They suck. They all suck.
On the subject of name changes (just curious since some of you ladies mentioned that you didn't really want to change your name) if you hadn't changed it, would your LO's last name be the same as your, your H's, or a combination of both? I ask because when we got married, I hyphenated my last name. It really wan't intentional, as I had planned to do what my mom had done and keep my middle name and maiden name as two middle names and take DH's last name, but the lady at the SSA refused to let me do it that way. I was told I could drop my middle name and keep my maiden name as my middle, drop my maiden name all together, or hyphenate. Since I wasn't willing to drop any part of my name and I had already taken a day of of work to deal with the SSA, DMV, bank, etc., I just told her to throw a damn hyphen in it and be done with it. Even then, I had planned to go by DH's last name, but I started law school shortly thereafter and all of my professors called me by my hyphenated last name because it was my legal name on their class rosters. I tried correcting them for a while to no avail, so I just went with it. That was about 9 years ago, and everyone I know professionally knows me by my hyphenated name. I never gave it much thought until recently when I realized that my son will have a different last name if we give him DH's name (which we plan to do). I mean, it will be the same as half of my hyphenated name, but it still seems weird that I'll all of a sudden be the odd one out at our house.
On the subject of name changes (just curious since some of you ladies mentioned that you didn't really want to change your name) if you hadn't changed it, would your LO's last name be the same as your, your H's, or a combination of both? I ask because when we got married, I hyphenated my last name. It really wan't intentional, as I had planned to do what my mom had done and keep my middle name and maiden name as two middle names and take DH's last name, but the lady at the SSA refused to let me do it that way. I was told I could drop my middle name and keep my maiden name as my middle, drop my maiden name all together, or hyphenate. Since I wasn't willing to drop any part of my name and I had already taken a day of of work to deal with the SSA, DMV, bank, etc., I just told her to throw a damn hyphen in it and be done with it. Even then, I had planned to go by DH's last name, but I started law school shortly thereafter and all of my professors called me by my hyphenated last name because it was my legal name on their class rosters. I tried correcting them for a while to no avail, so I just went with it. That was about 9 years ago, and everyone I know professionally knows me by my hyphenated name. I never gave it much thought until recently when I realized that my son will have a different last name if we give him DH's name (which we plan to do). I mean, it will be the same as half of my hyphenated name, but it still seems weird that I'll all of a sudden be the odd one out at our house.
I didn't want to change mine because I have been published under my maiden name and receive (very small) royalty checks for my work. Also, as we all know, it's a huge pain in the ass!
Had I not changed my name, my plan was to legally go by my maiden and socially go by my husband's, and of course our children would have my husband's name. As it is, I dumped my old middle name and legally made my middle name my maiden name, and took my husband's last name. Guys can be so oddly paternalistic about that stuff! Even the guys I know whose wives kept their maiden names - most of them say they didn't like the idea. I didn't tell them all they had to do was cry and get their way (that's how it happened with DH).
@khochanadel I agree, the whole process is such a pain in the ass! DH didn't really care if I changed mine after we got married (or if he did, he didn't dare vocalize it). He just said it was up to me and left it at that. It's crazy what a huge deal it is for some guys! Part of me now wishes (for purposes of having the same name as my child) that I hadn't hyphenated since I hadn't been published or built a professional reputation at that point, but it's too late now. I use DH's last name socially (formal invitations and correspondence, return address labels, etc.) but use my legal hyphenated last name professionally. For some reason it still rubs me the wrong way when I get mail addressed to Mr. and Mrs. [DH's first and last name], though. It's like, "Hello! I have my own name, thanks!" I think it would still bother me, even if I had taken his last name...but maybe that discussion is best left for today's UO Thursday thread...
For as progressive of a guy as my husband is, he did care that I took his name when we got married. I was thinking ahead to having kids and wanted to share the same last name as my husband and future children, so I was fine with it (despite the huge PITA that legally changing your name is). I ditched my middle name (which I had always hated, so no loss there) and moved my maiden name to my middle, so that when random things ultimately didn't get sorted out in my new name (looking at you, Amtrak Guest Rewards, which randomly requires like 6 pieces of documentation to do so) I still had an ID with my maiden name on it.
I am on the other side of the name change debate. I literally cringe any time I see my maiden name on anything. I am so in love with my married last name and hate my maiden name with a fiery passion. When I was 16, I actually started the process to change my last name to my mom's because it more closely represented who I was. I am my mother's daughter and have no relationship with my father. But, when I was born my parents were married so I had his stupid last name. I held off on publishing a scholarly work in college because I didn't want any connection to my father and I was terrified he would find a way to take credit or something. I was named after him (his name is Laurence and mine is Lauren) so every once in a while I would get his mail or calls from bill collectors and random people. Pissed me off to no end. I wished I could just scrub that whole part of my identity away. I jumped at the chance to take MH's last name and have completely embraced it as my identity, mostly because I LOVE my FIL so much and feel such a deep connection with him that I never felt with my own father. Even still, it was a total pain to change EVERYTHING (which is why I gave up when I was 16 because I figured I would have to change everything when I got married anyways), but I was so determined to ditch my maiden name it was not such a big deal. I can see how if you are on the fence at all it is almost too much of a hassle.
ETA: Sorry that got super heavy and dark for a second. I have been listening to Kelly Clarkson's "Piece by Piece" and it is doing intense things to my feels right now.
I was also super excited to change my name when I got married but I didn't have any substantial reasons like @laurenmdrn16. I just never really like the sound of my maiden name and always planned to change it when/if I got married. Now my name is an alliteration (which I personally like) and I think it just flows better. I was surprised at how easy it was to shift my thinking and sense of self when I changed it, it took just a few weeks to get used to. My H will still sometimes randomly refer to me as Sam Maiden Name and I always correct him, it really just doesn't feel like me anymore.
I'm not a fan of hoagies but I did tell my DH to show up at the birth center with a case of blue moon beer!
I asked for a bottle of chilled champagne...he thought I was joking....I don't joke about champagne!!
I gotta find those breast milk test strips so I can have my beer and not get my brand new baby drunk! unless that's not a real concern?
I could be wrong but I think as long as you aren't sloppy drunk and just buzzed you are ok. Also, my plan is to BF and then drink immediately after so by the time Luna is hungry again it will be out of my system.
All. Of. This. I also asked for a bottle of champagne. My goal is also to BF, drink, and BF once Nate's hungry again.
I was also super excited to change my name when I got married but I didn't have any substantial reasons like @laurenmdrn16. I just never really like the sound of my maiden name and always planned to change it when/if I got married. Now my name is an alliteration (which I personally like) and I think it just flows better. I was surprised at how easy it was to shift my thinking and sense of self when I changed it, it took just a few weeks to get used to. My H will still sometimes randomly refer to me as Sam Maiden Name and I always correct him, it really just doesn't feel like me anymore.
I was happy to change my last name as well. No issues with my family of origin, I just never liked the name itself. I found the name-change process to be fairly easy. Though imagine my shock a few weeks ago when my mom mailed me something and addressed it to my maiden name! She said it was a senior moment..I just told her I'd mail something to her maiden name (which she hasn't used in nearly 40 years) as revenge.
I was lurking the March BMB and saw we had a May mom deliver a preemie already, should we start a Birth Announcement thread? With all the usual disclaimers like "this thread is only for birth announcements, please do not post a million 'congratulations' here, link your birth story thread to your announcement here", etc?
I was lurking the March BMB and saw we had a May mom deliver a preemie already, should we start a Birth Announcement thread? With all the usual disclaimers like "this thread is only for birth announcements, please do not post a million 'congratulations' here, link your birth story thread to your announcement here", etc?
I think we're getting to that point where it would be ok. We're pretty much half way through the month already and for some of those early May moms, even early April is not outside of the realm of possibility.
I was lurking the March BMB and saw we had a May mom deliver a preemie already, should we start a Birth Announcement thread? With all the usual disclaimers like "this thread is only for birth announcements, please do not post a million 'congratulations' here, link your birth story thread to your announcement here", etc?
I think we're getting to that point where it would be ok. We're pretty much half way through the month already and for some of those early May moms, even early April is not outside of the realm of possibility.
I was actually thinking we should poll the board...some BMBs have one birth announcement thread (no chatter!) while others have posters starting a new thread when their LO is born. I personally dont care one way or the other what we do, but maybe we should ask and see what everyone thinks?
Just ordered an enormous Italian hero and I am so excited. Oh how I've missed you deli meat.
Can we eat that now? If so, that's what I'm having tonight!
Technically, deli meat is still a no-no. But I missed it and was craving it so I went crazy and got an italian hero with all the meat from a reputable place. It was sooo good but I'm not making a habit of it.
I was lurking the March BMB and saw we had a May mom deliver a preemie already, should we start a Birth Announcement thread? With all the usual disclaimers like "this thread is only for birth announcements, please do not post a million 'congratulations' here, link your birth story thread to your announcement here", etc?
I think we're getting to that point where it would be ok. We're pretty much half way through the month already and for some of those early May moms, even early April is not outside of the realm of possibility.
I was actually thinking we should poll the board...some BMBs have one birth announcement thread (no chatter!) while others have posters starting a new thread when their LO is born. I personally dont care one way or the other what we do, but maybe we should ask and see what everyone thinks?
And some seem to do both - which I personally think is good. Kind of fun to have one long chatter-free thread of birth announcements but I'll want to be able to congratulate and ooh & ahh somehow.
Just ordered an enormous Italian hero and I am so excited. Oh how I've missed you deli meat.
Can we eat that now? If so, that's what I'm having tonight!
Technically, deli meat is still a no-no. But I missed it and was craving it so I went crazy and got an italian hero with all the meat from a reputable place. It was sooo good but I'm not making a habit of it.
@LadySamLady from the Italian place in Chelsea Market? Now I'm craving your sandwich.
On the entire name topic thing, my husband actually asked to take my last name. It is very rare, dying out (less than 15 in the country), and I still to this day haven't met his father so had no connection to his last name (and it was super common). I have to say it meant the WORLD to me that he offered, and even though people will always have their opinion, it was definitely the right decision.
Not that a woman has to justify it, but two women I know justified keeping their last name with the following:
1. We are past the days where my father had to give a dowry so I'm not taking his name. 2. (In regards to their child's last name being different): My child will be intelligent enough to know who his/her parents are, regardless of my last name. 3. (Religiously) Bible says a man shall leave his family to start a new one, so why should my name change?
I've talked to a ton of women who regret taking their husband's last name, a ton who love it, and several in the middle. It just shows how people differ on the subject, but I wish women (or men) weren't comfortable being bullied by society into decisions they do not agree with.
I was actually thinking we should poll the board...some BMBs have one birth announcement thread (no chatter!) while others have posters starting a new thread when their LO is born. I personally dont care one way or the other what we do, but maybe we should ask and see what everyone thinks?
And some seem to do both - which I personally think is good. Kind of fun to have one long chatter-free thread of birth announcements but I'll want to be able to congratulate and ooh & ahh somehow.
I like the idea of both - one chatter free thread with everyone's babies, then a separate one to AW your own squish and get all the comments! But a poll is a good idea!
I was actually thinking we should poll the board...some BMBs have one birth announcement thread (no chatter!) while others have posters starting a new thread when their LO is born. I personally dont care one way or the other what we do, but maybe we should ask and see what everyone thinks?
And some seem to do both - which I personally think is good. Kind of fun to have one long chatter-free thread of birth announcements but I'll want to be able to congratulate and ooh & ahh somehow.
I like the idea of both - one chatter free thread with everyone's babies, then a separate one to AW your own squish and get all the comments! But a poll is a good idea!
Poll it for sure. I like both too. Inevitably people will want to comment...and no one wants to be the fun police by saying the thread is for announcements only!
I was actually thinking we should poll the board...some BMBs have one birth announcement thread (no chatter!) while others have posters starting a new thread when their LO is born. I personally dont care one way or the other what we do, but maybe we should ask and see what everyone thinks?
And some seem to do both - which I personally think is good. Kind of fun to have one long chatter-free thread of birth announcements but I'll want to be able to congratulate and ooh & ahh somehow.
I like the idea of both - one chatter free thread with everyone's babies, then a separate one to AW your own squish and get all the comments! But a poll is a good idea!
Poll it for sure. I like both too. Inevitably people will want to comment...and no one wants to be the fun police by saying the thread is for announcements only!
Like @swflJD I tried to keep all the names but the state wouldn't let me:( So I changed my name. Stupid state.
It works out for me because I am known in my field by my maiden name and so all my publications and professional appointments still reflect that name, and then it's even nicer because I have a bit of anonymity:) If someone doesn't know my maiden name they won't find out anything about me professionally and if someone doesn't know my married name they won't know anything about my personal life. It's like I'm two people! It confuses HR, but the IRS hasn't said anything yet, so I think we're good.
While I wasn't too keen on changing my name (am I a different person now? If names don't matter, why is it always the woman who takes the man's name? Patriarchy!), it did mean a lot to DH that I did, and I feel good for doing it. DH is an amazingly supportive partner and has sacrificed so much for me--I wanted to give something back. I kind of wish he didn't care about it, but he did and his family did. And we've got a pretty un-heteronormative marriage, so this one nod to the patriarchy didn't seem like an onerous concession: I give up my name, but in return I get a husband who is an equal partner in everything, who's willing to uproot his career to follow mine, who cooks, cleans, and is better with babies than I will ever be, and who loves me for being me without placing any gender-based expectations on me.
Ok, that got kind of mushy at the end there. Sorry! But yeah. Total ambivalence about having to change my name. The worst part of it, though, was that I had planned to just add his name to mine, and the clerk just wouldn't allow it (there are rules, apparently, but they're nowhere to be found in public!). There was no warning. So I had to decide, right then and there, at City Hall, with an impatient middle-aged clerk giving me the stinkeye and a line of people behind me trying to get their business transacted in the 50-minute window the office was open, whether I wanted to hyphenate my last name or just take his. Or get rid of my middle name. Meh.
I am the only one that is impressed by the ice cream vending machine @yogahh has discovered at her job? Why do I not have one at my job?! This seems unfair.
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
I was actually thinking we should poll the board...some BMBs have one birth announcement thread (no chatter!) while others have posters starting a new thread when their LO is born. I personally dont care one way or the other what we do, but maybe we should ask and see what everyone thinks?
And some seem to do both - which I personally think is good. Kind of fun to have one long chatter-free thread of birth announcements but I'll want to be able to congratulate and ooh & ahh somehow.
I like the idea of both - one chatter free thread with everyone's babies, then a separate one to AW your own squish and get all the comments! But a poll is a good idea!
Poll it for sure. I like both too. Inevitably people will want to comment...and no one wants to be the fun police by saying the thread is for announcements only!
on it... even though i am part of the TBPD
I agree that it would be nice to have both!
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Why are people compelled to ask "is there a bug going around" when they or their child is sick? I don't understand this. I've seen 3 FB posts in the past 24 hours asking this question (and yes I know I should just delete FB at this point because my patience is minimal). "My kid is sick (or I am), anyone know if there's a bug going around?" Um, does it matter? YOUR kid is sick. Why does it matter if anyone else is also sick? I could maybe see if it was something like "My kid is displaying the classic symptoms of polio, has anyone heard that polio is back in the US, or am I safe to assume it could just be the flu?"
I feel the same irrational rage when people look out the window, see rain, and say "Was it supposed to rain today?" Nope, no it was not. You'd better go outside and start chastising those unauthorized rain clouds.
Re: **The Everything Random Thread for May 2016**
Been married since 2009.
Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
Several MCs
DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
Been married since 2009.
Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
Several MCs
DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
Been married since 2009.
Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
Several MCs
DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
I'm standing right here and I'm not deaf. Yes, you will see a number of pregnant women when you come in right after PRENATAL yoga. B!tches.
Had I not changed my name, my plan was to legally go by my maiden and socially go by my husband's, and of course our children would have my husband's name. As it is, I dumped my old middle name and legally made my middle name my maiden name, and took my husband's last name. Guys can be so oddly paternalistic about that stuff! Even the guys I know whose wives kept their maiden names - most of them say they didn't like the idea. I didn't tell them all they had to do was cry and get their way (that's how it happened with DH).
ETA: Sorry that got super heavy and dark for a second. I have been listening to Kelly Clarkson's "Piece by Piece" and it is doing intense things to my feels right now.
All. Of. This. I also asked for a bottle of champagne. My goal is also to BF, drink, and BF once Nate's hungry again.
https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12665683/preemie-tips-was-a-may-mom-but-baby-came-early#latest
BFP 1: 9/15/2013 | DD 5/23/2014
BFP 2: 9/15/2015 | EDD 5/26/2016
Not that a woman has to justify it, but two women I know justified keeping their last name with the following:
1. We are past the days where my father had to give a dowry so I'm not taking his name.
2. (In regards to their child's last name being different): My child will be intelligent enough to know who his/her parents are, regardless of my last name.
3. (Religiously) Bible says a man shall leave his family to start a new one, so why should my name change?
I've talked to a ton of women who regret taking their husband's last name, a ton who love it, and several in the middle. It just shows how people differ on the subject, but I wish women (or men) weren't comfortable being bullied by society into decisions they do not agree with.
BFP 1: 9/15/2013 | DD 5/23/2014
BFP 2: 9/15/2015 | EDD 5/26/2016
It works out for me because I am known in my field by my maiden name and so all my publications and professional appointments still reflect that name, and then it's even nicer because I have a bit of anonymity:) If someone doesn't know my maiden name they won't find out anything about me professionally and if someone doesn't know my married name they won't know anything about my personal life. It's like I'm two people! It confuses HR, but the IRS hasn't said anything yet, so I think we're good.
While I wasn't too keen on changing my name (am I a different person now? If names don't matter, why is it always the woman who takes the man's name? Patriarchy!), it did mean a lot to DH that I did, and I feel good for doing it. DH is an amazingly supportive partner and has sacrificed so much for me--I wanted to give something back. I kind of wish he didn't care about it, but he did and his family did. And we've got a pretty un-heteronormative marriage, so this one nod to the patriarchy didn't seem like an onerous concession: I give up my name, but in return I get a husband who is an equal partner in everything, who's willing to uproot his career to follow mine, who cooks, cleans, and is better with babies than I will ever be, and who loves me for being me without placing any gender-based expectations on me.
Ok, that got kind of mushy at the end there. Sorry! But yeah. Total ambivalence about having to change my name. The worst part of it, though, was that I had planned to just add his name to mine, and the clerk just wouldn't allow it (there are rules, apparently, but they're nowhere to be found in public!). There was no warning. So I had to decide, right then and there, at City Hall, with an impatient middle-aged clerk giving me the stinkeye and a line of people behind me trying to get their business transacted in the 50-minute window the office was open, whether I wanted to hyphenate my last name or just take his. Or get rid of my middle name. Meh.
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!I feel the same irrational rage when people look out the window, see rain, and say "Was it supposed to rain today?" Nope, no it was not. You'd better go outside and start chastising those unauthorized rain clouds.