@catiecatp I'm sorry, I think I missed you before. Grief is, in some ways, never ending. And yes, once I got my list to down people I actually liked (I have no one from high school etc), I was able to focus on all the positive stuff in their lives. I don't keep anyone on my friend's list I wouldn't hang out and I am very protective of my life and time. If everyone I knew was having babies or whatever - then that might be different, but as it stands yay for millenials and their supposedly arrested development.
Renee, 34 + Devon, 29 married 08/13 TTC 09/15 *TW Loss mentioned* BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16 MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3 TTCAL 3/2016 Acupuncture 11/16 Dx December 2016: unexplained January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI = BFP #2 01/30/17 Please be a sticky baby! EDD: 10/15/17 Measuring ahead! 10/12/17 Ambrose born on his due date!
@roper2617 - ask for the referral. Once you have had an initial appointment with a doctor, it is often easier to get squeezed in for a follow up. So even if there was no reason for them to keep seeing you after your initial appointment, if you needed to see them in the future it should be easier to get back in. Usually doctors will only see a certain number of new patients per week to keep appointments open for existing patients so that is why the initial wait is so long.
@MissAmeliaPond Oh man, yesterday's TWW was a rough one on TTGP. *hugs* I've missed one check-in in the past 6-7 weeks of being active this time around and the multiple BFPs in one day while I'm getting farther along in my own testing window are harsh, the rest of the time it doesn't bother me too much, and not at all/ever if it's someone else I literally see checking in daily (that accounts for 3 yesterday, but I could've had very offset cycles from the others). I might avoid the daily thing once I hit 10DPO from here on out. I never intend on announcing a BFP there anyway. I like how the weekly check-ins here are like a running conversation, but with 80 or so people on TTGP participating daily it would be impossible. I have a love/hate relationship with the daily thing. I really do. However, it makes the time go by much more slowly. But it sure beats staring at my chart that isn't going to change for another 24hrs.
@MissAmeliaPond@GhanimaAtreides I couldn't agree more about the rough TTGP yesterday. Monday would have been my BFP day and I waited over the weekend to test Monday. Instead AF made an appearance Sunday night. Guess my 77pts on FF were BS.
I feel like it's so easy to have a love-hate relationship with the daily threads. In a way I feel like I need them so I can express my BSC without being judged but at the same time, it allows to me obsess which overall probably isn't too good for me either. And I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who blankly stares at my chart all day. That or I chart overlay with other people's PG charts to make myself hopeful.
Thanks! @amberruka that post was from yesterday when I only had seen an indent. Today it was definitely pink. Waiting on the digi tomorrow though to call it.
Thanks! @amberruka that post was from yesterday when I only seen an indent. Today it was definitely pink. Waiting on the digi tomorrow though to call it.
I'm so excited for you! I really hope the digi confirms for you tomorrow.
@reneeannemm - my list is still too long - I self identify as an introvert and yet that darn list is long. A lot of my friends have children, but only some have babies - and some I know struggled with IF and/or MC. I wish there was a way to ignore shared/liked posts and still see the photos people post.
---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---
@catiecatp@penelope4612@megsbrock Yeah when put that way it really is a no brainer decision! Thanks for the input ladies And yeah @catiecatp I feel like I'm expecting another mc when we conceive again, it's difficult not to.
1. Intro: New to this board after MMC on 12.9.15 (D&C at 10+4, baby stopped growing at 8+5).
2. Status: NO IDEA whether I'm WTO or TWW and it's driving me mad. I either ovulated last Thursday and my temp dropped for no apparent reason yesterday or, more likely, I just surged but didn't O...and maybe ovulated yesterday...or today...or will tomorrow. It's so hard for me not to know because I obsessively chart/check/analyze.
I tested PEAK on CBDigi last Tues. and
got + FR OPKs on Weds & Thurs, near + on Wondfo OPK Thurs but I don't think it was quite +, then
yesterday morning I got a temp drop so I tested again and got another PEAK on CBDigi as well as + Wondfos a few different times yesterday and
a nice + Wondfo OPK this morning where the test line was FINALLY unmistakably darker than the control.
If I didn't ovulate last Thursday then I may have missed a crucial BD window this weekend. Ugh.
3. R & R: What's with all the spotting?! Anyone else just spotting out of nowhere? Last month was cycle # 2 after MC, and I spotted on CD10 & 11, never quite got a + ovulation test, and got period on CD23. This month? I spotted from CD12-20! (Today is CD21, first day of no spotting in over a week, thank God!) I've been checking CP, CM, temping, OPKing...everything. My OB says it's "just a cervix being a cervix" around O time--she's not worried at all--but in my worst moments I'm afraid it means something's wrong with me
4. GTKY: We started trying again straight away after MC, though it took me 7 weeks to get my first period. This is our 3rd cycle. We both feel...not romantic...not super into it...mechanical. And sometimes he just straight up doesn't want to because he feels too pressured, and I don't blame him.
I think we both want to get pregnant again but he's in a much more serene place about it than I am. The loss was challenging for a while because he grieved for a few days and then was fine, and I...wasn't. And neither of us really got where the other was. But now that I can talk about it without crying/losing my mind, I think we're getting closer in that way again.
But really, thank God for women. We really get it, don't we? What would we do without each other?
@mickcole Welcome and so sorry for your loss. I'm sorry about your whacky cycles, hopefully they will figure it out soon. I just wanted to say that I completely relate to your DH grieving for a few days and moving on. I got soooo mad at my H for still crying over his parents dog who passed away a year ago, and not mourning our baby more. But unfortunately men just do not connect and likely can't connect to the developing fetus like we do. They mourn an idea while we mourn a living being. Also, I just wanted to say that I had a super funky cycle this month and geared up to ovulate 2 times, complete with major temp drops before I finally ovulated 8 days late!! I was a complete wreck that week, complete with insomnia, migraines depression. It all went away after I ovulated! Fx you ovulate soon!!
@mickcole welcome and sorry about your loss. I hear you on the spotting! I spotted EVERY DAY between cycles 1 & 2 post mc. To top it off, AF 1 was 12 days, and AF 2 was 14 days, so I also had like 8 or 9 days of spotting. I was losing hope that I'd ever stop bleeding. It can take a frustrating amount of time for the body to figure itself out again and feel somewhat normal after a mc. I'm betting that there's nothing "wrong" with you, BUT definitely pay attention to your gut, if you really feel like something is not quite right definitely go back to your OB.
Ok ladies - I have a question - what does ovulation pain feel like (with the understanding that it could feel different for different women)? I've got fertile CM earlier than expected for more days than I've ever had and I think I'm feeling a twinge (slightly uncomfortable) on one side in my lower abdomen. It could be something, or it could be nothing...
---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---
@mickcole - I'm sorry for your loss. My DH definitely got over our loss faster than I did, even though he had been wanting to TTC for longer than I had. It's different when it's your body I think. Harder to ignore or forget. Also, I'm also having a wonky cycle (fertile CM for like a week so far but no +opk) and I'm tired of having sex all the time and my DH is starting to get frustrated because I'm not into it and then it's hard for him to get into it and perform. This is just all so tiring sometimes. Hang in there. And keep having sex if you can. Even with a positive opk you may not ovulate for another 1-3 days.
@catiecatp - my ovulation pain ranges from twinges to cramping. Sometimes I get it on one side and then the other, or both sides at once. Sometimes I get this fullness in my lower abdomen. Sometimes I wonder if it's gas though.
@GhanimaAtreides@nwegman7878 Oh my gosh, I didn't even have time to post in TWW yesterday. When I checked last night, there were 5 pages of posts, so I knew something crazy must've been going on. I wish I hadn't opened it!! Brutal. I stared at my chart for like 30 minutes today trying to convince myself that there could still be a chance this month, even though I'm 10 dpo (AF due Thursday) and have literally no symptoms I had with my CP... The daily threads definitely contribute to the BSC obsessing, and I agree with you Ghanima, I think they make the time pass by more slowly. And I don't like being reminded of how many months deep I am into this process, either. I think I'll still spend time on TTGP, but stay away from the daily threads. Sorry yesterday was so rough on all of us!
@chloe97 yay! I can understand wanting to wait for the did to confirm and call it but it sounds like a big congratulations in is order.
2/3. TWW- 3DPO. DH was having some serious performance anxiety issues this month for some reason so our timing was just really bad. -4 and that is it. So I'm honestly just waiting for AF and then back to WTO. Hopefully our timing is better next month.
3.5. I'm normally so overly optimistic and happy the first week of the TWW. It feels like anything is possible and it's totally going to be our cycle. The first week of every TWW I'm just so happy and excited whenever I see a BFP or a success story. Life is just great. And then when I have yet another BFN on 13DPO I start to feel defeated and depressed. Around that point suddenly I can't take seeing another BFP and I start feeling like I'll never have a baby. Apparently, with our bad our timing was, I just skipped the happy TWW week this time and went straight to feeling depressed and defeated.
4. GTKY: DH and I are more or less on the same page. It still really bugs me when he makes comments about how we "just started trying" and how I "shouldn't be sad" because it "takes a lot of couples years." DH has also apparently decided we'll have several losses before our take-home rainbow baby and he's totes cool with that. I'm not on the same page with that AT ALL. He literally just told me a story the other day about how this guy he works with just found out and he and his wife are having triplets. This was apparently after they'd had 3 losses. DH was like "maybe that's how it will work for us! Maybe we'll have another couple of losses and then have twins or something!" No, DH, just no. Please don't ever say that again. I certainly don't want to convince myself that I'm doomed to having "a couple more losses."
Me: 28 Husband: 31 TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016 Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
@catiecatp I've only had ovulation pain since my MC. I only get it on one side (presumably the side that is producing the egg that month) and it's been anything from a barely noticeable small cramp to a sudden painful stabbing cramp that took my breath away. (Thankfully the latter ones only happened a few times and were short little stabs). Overall I'd say they feel like slightly less painful period cramps, but only on one side.
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks) MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP) RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017 MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP) RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017 MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023. Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing. Surgery for endometriosis January 2024 Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
All right ladies, I got my digi BFP so off to PGAL. I just need to say THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for helping me through the worst time in my life. If not for this board of caring ladies who talked me down when I was in the throes of hormone imbalances and depression, I'm not sure where I'd be.
Im feeling really good right now and I'm vowing to enjoy this pregnancy whether it last 2 more days or 8 more months. And I really hope to see you on PGAL soon!!!
@catiecatp For me ovulation pain feels like a pinch or a small cramp, like if I work out too much without hydrating if that makes sense? It's also very fleeting and comes and goes pretty quickly. My right ovary is actually low and far back for me so I feel O pain more on my side/hip area whereas my left I feel more in my lower abdomen/pelvic area. I believe the two times I've been pregnant I ovulated on my right side, which seems interesting since I've been told it is low and farther away than "normal".
@catiecatp ovulation pains for me often feel sharp and twinge like. I've felt it in either sides and sometimes both at the same time. Other times I've felt the pain radiate from one side to the other.
Renee, 34 + Devon, 29 married 08/13 TTC 09/15 *TW Loss mentioned* BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16 MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3 TTCAL 3/2016 Acupuncture 11/16 Dx December 2016: unexplained January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI = BFP #2 01/30/17 Please be a sticky baby! EDD: 10/15/17 Measuring ahead! 10/12/17 Ambrose born on his due date!
@catiecatp mine usually feels like twinges on one side, usually my left. I never ovulated before so when it first was happening I had no idea, but now I know that's what is is around O time.
@chloe97 YESSSSS!! This was the best thing to see this morning. FX for a healthy nine months
Thanks for the ovulation pain info - it sounds like that is what I had, with a bit of tenderness still there this morning, but no temperature spike so maybe it was something else...
---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---
@catiecatp I'm so relieved to see another chart in Celsius; Imperial measurements make my head spin.
I'm having a bad time. I felt so good when my period started and now that it's over it seems like I have POST menstruation syndrome. I'm grumpy and sad and emotional - none of which are normal for me, I'm not moody at all.
Renee, 34 + Devon, 29 married 08/13 TTC 09/15 *TW Loss mentioned* BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16 MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3 TTCAL 3/2016 Acupuncture 11/16 Dx December 2016: unexplained January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI = BFP #2 01/30/17 Please be a sticky baby! EDD: 10/15/17 Measuring ahead! 10/12/17 Ambrose born on his due date!
@aera11 Sorry about your friend. This is why I think MC needs to be talked about more. People will then know how to react. It's just like any other time people are grieving a simple i'm sorry or how are you doing works.
@missameliapond I get you on the TTGP board. I go in waves were I can handle it and waves were I can't
@namelessaria Sorry you are feeling down. I don't to give false hope but I think there were a couple people on TTGP that had -4 timing and it worked. I guess what I am saying is it's not the best but it's not impossible.
@m6agua No you're right. It isn't impossible. It is pretty unlikely though. It's kinda like I told DH the other night "If it is meant to be then -4 is good enough. It's not like we're expecting an immaculate conception here or something. But we shouldn't get our hopes up."
I really got my hopes up last cycle more than I should have because our timing was pretty amazing (at least for us) with -4, -2, -1, O so I was like "surely that's good enough!" I guess now I'm having the whole "if that wasn't good enough this definitely isn't good enough" thing.
ETA: Thank you for the words of encouragement though. I definitely need it.
Me: 28 Husband: 31 TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016 Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
@reneeannemm - yep, Fahrenheit makes my head swim too - near as I can figure each .1C is about .18F (if you're trying to figure out shifts)... and hugs for the bad mood - I hate it when I can't put a finger on why I'm feeling the way that I am (and it doesn't help that DH seems to always know why he feels the way he does - so if I feel depressed he thinks I should know why I feel that way...)
---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---
@chloe97 Big congrats to you! FX for a happy and healthy 9 months!
Sorry for everyone who's having a rough week. I'm also sorry for not taking the time to respond to everyone - it's a crazy week here with grant writing and issues discussed below.
2. WTO - CD9. I'll probably start OPKs tomorrow.
3. Rant to be included in the GTKY.
TMI: 4. This is a really appropriate question for me this week. I wish I would have looked at the board sooner, but I had a really hard weekend and am still trying to recover. DH suffers from pornography addiction. It's something that we addressed early in our relationship, and though he had relapsed once right after we were married, we sought counseling and fought through it. It's pretty obvious when he has relapsed, because he suffers from porn-induced erectile dysfunction - mainly from the guilt of hiding it from me. After the last relapse, when everything returned to normal, we conceived what ended up being our loss. He promised that he would never hide his relapses from me again. After the loss, I was worried sick that he would relapse from the stress. We really had only tried to BD during the fertile window, and sometimes he could perform, and others he couldn't. Last week, I was really stressed out over the fact that we weren't BD-ing outside of the fertile window, even with my advances. After me asking several times if he had relapsed, he finally came clean. He indeed had relapsed and tried to quit cold-turkey over and over again over the past 3 months. I was (and am still) so hurt that he hid it from me - his truthfulness was the one stipulation I had when it happened before. So, after this go around, he's joined a support group, back in therapy, and lets me know whenever he feels susceptible or triggered. We've also set up ways where I can monitor his computer from my own, and he has no idea when I could pop in to check on what he's doing. I love my husband with my whole heart, and I know the wonderful, amazing man he is when he is not overwhelmed with his disease. But my heart still aches. He told me that he wanted to tell me about his relapse, but I was inconsolable after the loss and he couldn't stand the thought of adding anything to my mourning. So on top of it all, I feel so guilty for being so wrapped up in my own sadness that I left him on his own to fall victim to his own brain. He was there for me in every bit of my sadness, he wiped every tear, held me every time I sobbed, told me everyday that it was going to be okay - but I wasn't there for him. I might as well have gone to the dirty sites for him.
At this point, it probably looks like we shouldn't still be TTC from the outside, and if I had any thoughts about leaving him or our marriage not working out in the future, we wouldn't be. I know his heart, and I know that he really is doing everything in his power to overcome this, even more-so than the previous relapse. I also know that this probably won't be the last relapse he suffers, but I know he needs me to be there for him if he does again. He is my favorite person in the entire world, and faults and all, I love him with every ounce of my being. Anyways, all of that to say, we may not be as strong as we once were at this very second, but I know we get stronger with every heartache and hardship.
@cj260 thinking and praying for you and your DH as he recovers. You sound like you have a very strong relationship, which is a great foundation to handle future challenges.
******TW******Siggy warning BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d; BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks; BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016
@silentP
sorry bout the car, I hate having to bring mine to the shop.
@BornReady I say go for it! I posted that I was going to disconnect from
social media for a while, and then took my facebook widget off my
phone. I can still access it through it's main icon in my general apps
folder, and I get notifications, but keeping it further away helped me.
@klauerinaking enjoy the BD'ing! @megsbrock I love how you guys have a team approach to TTC! @zrain sounds like me at the beginning if this month. First
cycle AL but I had no idea where I really was in it, even though I kept
thinking I did. I was so glad when AF finally came. Also, I'm so
jealous of your Cambodia trip! @cheverian87 I'm sorry for your loss. I'm glad your husband was able to make that compromise with his job though. @beff12 crazy
dreams can be the worst sometimes. Especially those where when you wake
up you know it was a dream but the feeling sticks with you and you just
can't shake it. @reneeannemm oooooh
sprouts! I get so excited when that starts! I'm planting mine this
week. I won't be putting them outside for another few weeks yet, but
ready to get the process (and Spring) started. @catiecatp hopefully
your body has realigned. Sorry that the search for more information on
your dad has reminded you of the things he won't get to see, that's
always rough. @amberruka another weird dream, ugh! Thanks for the Eleanore of Acquitiane reminder/reference! @penelope4612 man, what a nosey MIL! @Aera11 I'm
so sorry about your selfish friend (though that was great the way you
called her out on her inappropriateness) and the other triggers of this
weekend. *hugs* @Kay6519 whoop! whoop! to your husband's crook boss quitting! @MissAmeliaPond glad to have you over here now that it's so popping over at TTGP.
@nwegman7878 sorry it wasn't this cycle. @mickcole I'm
sorry for your loss, but welcome to the board. I hope everything starts
lining back up for you, that must be so very frustrating! @NamelessAria I'm sorry you're feeling so down. *hugs* @cjs260 that's a really tough thing to be going through. It's beautiful that you are standing behind and supporting him though it all.
@chloe97 hip hip hooray and congratulations!!!! Sending you a huge happy internet hug!
As for me:
2. Status: WTO, CD 6. But I started temping so I'm happy about that.
3.
Rants/Raves: (both) Finished the hard part or the pallet walls this
weekend. We still have to attach trim (quarter round) at the edges to
finish it, but DF doesn't think it will match with the flooring that we
want to put in. He now wants to do an over coat of paint or stain and then
distress it by sanding. He's a darn picky fella sometimes. I attached a
couple of pics of the walls and the mural going opposite them for the people who asked in the last thread.
4.
GTKY: DF and I found each other late in life and having only been
together a few years, we feel like we've had to move quickly to check
off the todo's on what we view as the typical "dating to marriage to
house to children" timeline. With my concerns of getting older,
especially now since the loss, we've agreed at DF's urging to focus
fully on TTC right now, and not on re-planning the wedding we put on
hold. The loss
actually brought about some deeper conversations that I hadn't imagined I
would have with him and I feel it has brought us closer because of that. I know my body better and so does he now. He constantly
communicates to me that he believes that I can still have a beautiful, happy,
healthy baby and he makes me believe it.
Re: TTCAL check-in week of 3/7
TTC 09/15
*TW Loss mentioned*
BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
TTCAL 3/2016
Acupuncture 11/16
Dx December 2016: unexplained
January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
BFP #2 01/30/17 Please be a sticky baby!
EDD: 10/15/17 Measuring ahead! 10/12/17
Ambrose born on his due date!
DD born 7.27.2014
BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
@MissAmeliaPond Oh man, yesterday's TWW was a rough one on TTGP. *hugs* I've missed one check-in in the past 6-7 weeks of being active this time around and the multiple BFPs in one day while I'm getting farther along in my own testing window are harsh, the rest of the time it doesn't bother me too much, and not at all/ever if it's someone else I literally see checking in daily (that accounts for 3 yesterday, but I could've had very offset cycles from the others). I might avoid the daily thing once I hit 10DPO from here on out. I never intend on announcing a BFP there anyway. I like how the weekly check-ins here are like a running conversation, but with 80 or so people on TTGP participating daily it would be impossible. I have a love/hate relationship with the daily thing. I really do. However, it makes the time go by much more slowly. But it sure beats staring at my chart that isn't going to change for another 24hrs.
I feel like it's so easy to have a love-hate relationship with the daily threads. In a way I feel like I need them so I can express my BSC without being judged but at the same time, it allows to me obsess which overall probably isn't too good for me either. And I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who blankly stares at my chart all day. That or I chart overlay with other people's PG charts to make myself hopeful.
Previously nweg...7878
CP 1/25/16 4.5 weeks, developed Graves' disease
Me: 33 & DH: 33
Married: 07/2006
TTC: 10/2015
BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017
TTC #1 started Aug 2014
BFP Apr 3 2015
natural M/C April 20 2015 @ 6w6d
BFP Nov 18 2015
natural M/C Nov 23 2015 @ 5w4d.
Yeah when put that way it really is a no brainer decision! Thanks for the input ladies
Me: 26 DH: 28
TTC #1 since 06/2014
BFP #1 09/23/15. MMC discovered 11/24/2015
BFP #2 08/24/16 EDD 05/08/17
2. Status: NO IDEA whether I'm WTO or TWW and it's driving me mad. I either ovulated last Thursday and my temp dropped for no apparent reason yesterday or, more likely, I just surged but didn't O...and maybe ovulated yesterday...or today...or will tomorrow. It's so hard for me not to know because I obsessively chart/check/analyze.
- I tested PEAK on CBDigi last Tues. and
- got + FR OPKs on Weds & Thurs, near + on Wondfo OPK Thurs but I don't think it was quite +, then
- yesterday morning I got a temp drop so I tested again and got another PEAK on CBDigi as well as + Wondfos a few different times yesterday and
- a nice + Wondfo OPK this morning where the test line was FINALLY unmistakably darker than the control.
If I didn't ovulate last Thursday then I may have missed a crucial BD window this weekend. Ugh.<img src="https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/59f86c//thumb.png" />
3. R & R: What's with all the spotting?! Anyone else just spotting out of nowhere? Last month was cycle # 2 after MC, and I spotted on CD10 & 11, never quite got a + ovulation test, and got period on CD23. This month? I spotted from CD12-20! (Today is CD21, first day of no spotting in over a week, thank God!) I've been checking CP, CM, temping, OPKing...everything. My OB says it's "just a cervix being a cervix" around O time--she's not worried at all--but in my worst moments I'm afraid it means something's wrong with me
4. GTKY: We started trying again straight away after MC, though it took me 7 weeks to get my first period. This is our 3rd cycle. We both feel...not romantic...not super into it...mechanical. And sometimes he just straight up doesn't want to because he feels too pressured, and I don't blame him.
I think we both want to get pregnant again but he's in a much more serene place about it than I am. The loss was challenging for a while because he grieved for a few days and then was fine, and I...wasn't. And neither of us really got where the other was. But now that I can talk about it without crying/losing my mind, I think we're getting closer in that way again.
But really, thank God for women. We really get it, don't we? What would we do without each other?
TTCAL: January 2016
Me: 26 DH: 28
TTC #1 since 06/2014
BFP #1 09/23/15. MMC discovered 11/24/2015
BFP #2 08/24/16 EDD 05/08/17
Me: 33 & DH: 33
Married: 07/2006
TTC: 10/2015
BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017
@catiecatp - my ovulation pain ranges from twinges to cramping. Sometimes I get it on one side and then the other, or both sides at once. Sometimes I get this fullness in my lower abdomen. Sometimes I wonder if it's gas though.
2/3. TWW- 3DPO. DH was having some serious performance anxiety issues this month for some reason so our timing was just really bad. -4 and that is it. So I'm honestly just waiting for AF and then back to WTO. Hopefully our timing is better next month.
3.5. I'm normally so overly optimistic and happy the first week of the TWW. It feels like anything is possible and it's totally going to be our cycle. The first week of every TWW I'm just so happy and excited whenever I see a BFP or a success story. Life is just great. And then when I have yet another BFN on 13DPO I start to feel defeated and depressed. Around that point suddenly I can't take seeing another BFP and I start feeling like I'll never have a baby. Apparently, with our bad our timing was, I just skipped the happy TWW week this time and went straight to feeling depressed and defeated.
4. GTKY: DH and I are more or less on the same page. It still really bugs me when he makes comments about how we "just started trying" and how I "shouldn't be sad" because it "takes a lot of couples years." DH has also apparently decided we'll have several losses before our take-home rainbow baby and he's totes cool with that. I'm not on the same page with that AT ALL. He literally just told me a story the other day about how this guy he works with just found out and he and his wife are having triplets. This was apparently after they'd had 3 losses. DH was like "maybe that's how it will work for us! Maybe we'll have another couple of losses and then have twins or something!" No, DH, just no. Please don't ever say that again. I certainly don't want to convince myself that I'm doomed to having "a couple more losses."
TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016
Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
Baby #2 due June 12, 2018
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
FET #2: September 2024 (failed)
FET #3: December 2024 (failed)
#BitterHagPartyOf1
All right ladies, I got my digi BFP so off to PGAL. I just need to say THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for helping me through the worst time in my life. If not for this board of caring ladies who talked me down when I was in the throes of hormone imbalances and depression, I'm not sure where I'd be.
Im feeling really good right now and I'm vowing to enjoy this pregnancy whether it last 2 more days or 8 more months. And I really hope to see you on PGAL soon!!!
Big hugs to all of you!!!!
Me: 26 DH: 28
TTC #1 since 06/2014
BFP #1 09/23/15. MMC discovered 11/24/2015
BFP #2 08/24/16 EDD 05/08/17
BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks;
BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016
Previously nweg...7878
Me: 26 DH: 28
TTC #1 since 06/2014
BFP #1 09/23/15. MMC discovered 11/24/2015
BFP #2 08/24/16 EDD 05/08/17
Me: 33 & DH: 33
Married: 07/2006
TTC: 10/2015
BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017
DD born 7.27.2014
BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
Married 9/27/14
TTC #1 since 8/15/15
BFP: 1/2/16, EDD 9/13/16 - MMC 2/10/16
BFP: 3/17, EDD 11/23/16
November 2016 April Siggy Challenge - April Showers
TTC 09/15
*TW Loss mentioned*
BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
TTCAL 3/2016
Acupuncture 11/16
Dx December 2016: unexplained
January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
BFP #2 01/30/17 Please be a sticky baby!
EDD: 10/15/17 Measuring ahead! 10/12/17
Ambrose born on his due date!
Me: 33 & DH: 33
Married: 07/2006
TTC: 10/2015
BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017
CP 1/25/16 4.5 weeks, developed Graves' disease
I'm having a bad time. I felt so good when my period started and now that it's over it seems like I have POST menstruation syndrome. I'm grumpy and sad and emotional - none of which are normal for me, I'm not moody at all.
TTC 09/15
*TW Loss mentioned*
BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
TTCAL 3/2016
Acupuncture 11/16
Dx December 2016: unexplained
January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
BFP #2 01/30/17 Please be a sticky baby!
EDD: 10/15/17 Measuring ahead! 10/12/17
Ambrose born on his due date!
@missameliapond I get you on the TTGP board. I go in waves were I can handle it and waves were I can't
@chloe97 Congrats!!
@namelessaria Sorry you are feeling down. I don't to give false hope but I think there were a couple people on TTGP that had -4 timing and it worked. I guess what I am saying is it's not the best but it's not impossible.
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019I really got my hopes up last cycle more than I should have because our timing was pretty amazing (at least for us) with -4, -2, -1, O so I was like "surely that's good enough!" I guess now I'm having the whole "if that wasn't good enough this definitely isn't good enough" thing.
ETA: Thank you for the words of encouragement though. I definitely need it.
TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016
Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
Baby #2 due June 12, 2018
Me: 33 & DH: 33
Married: 07/2006
TTC: 10/2015
BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017
Sorry for everyone who's having a rough week. I'm also sorry for not taking the time to respond to everyone - it's a crazy week here with grant writing and issues discussed below.
2. WTO - CD9. I'll probably start OPKs tomorrow.
3. Rant to be included in the GTKY.
TMI:
4. This is a really appropriate question for me this week. I wish I would have looked at the board sooner, but I had a really hard weekend and am still trying to recover. DH suffers from pornography addiction. It's something that we addressed early in our relationship, and though he had relapsed once right after we were married, we sought counseling and fought through it. It's pretty obvious when he has relapsed, because he suffers from porn-induced erectile dysfunction - mainly from the guilt of hiding it from me. After the last relapse, when everything returned to normal, we conceived what ended up being our loss. He promised that he would never hide his relapses from me again. After the loss, I was worried sick that he would relapse from the stress. We really had only tried to BD during the fertile window, and sometimes he could perform, and others he couldn't. Last week, I was really stressed out over the fact that we weren't BD-ing outside of the fertile window, even with my advances. After me asking several times if he had relapsed, he finally came clean. He indeed had relapsed and tried to quit cold-turkey over and over again over the past 3 months. I was (and am still) so hurt that he hid it from me - his truthfulness was the one stipulation I had when it happened before. So, after this go around, he's joined a support group, back in therapy, and lets me know whenever he feels susceptible or triggered. We've also set up ways where I can monitor his computer from my own, and he has no idea when I could pop in to check on what he's doing. I love my husband with my whole heart, and I know the wonderful, amazing man he is when he is not overwhelmed with his disease. But my heart still aches. He told me that he wanted to tell me about his relapse, but I was inconsolable after the loss and he couldn't stand the thought of adding anything to my mourning. So on top of it all, I feel so guilty for being so wrapped up in my own sadness that I left him on his own to fall victim to his own brain. He was there for me in every bit of my sadness, he wiped every tear, held me every time I sobbed, told me everyday that it was going to be okay - but I wasn't there for him. I might as well have gone to the dirty sites for him.
At this point, it probably looks like we shouldn't still be TTC from the outside, and if I had any thoughts about leaving him or our marriage not working out in the future, we wouldn't be. I know his heart, and I know that he really is doing everything in his power to overcome this, even more-so than the previous relapse. I also know that this probably won't be the last relapse he suffers, but I know he needs me to be there for him if he does again. He is my favorite person in the entire world, and faults and all, I love him with every ounce of my being. Anyways, all of that to say, we may not be as strong as we once were at this very second, but I know we get stronger with every heartache and hardship.
BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks;
BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016
@silentP sorry bout the car, I hate having to bring mine to the shop. @BornReady I say go for it! I posted that I was going to disconnect from social media for a while, and then took my facebook widget off my phone. I can still access it through it's main icon in my general apps folder, and I get notifications, but keeping it further away helped me. @klauerinaking enjoy the BD'ing! @megsbrock I love how you guys have a team approach to TTC! @zrain sounds like me at the beginning if this month. First cycle AL but I had no idea where I really was in it, even though I kept thinking I did. I was so glad when AF finally came. Also, I'm so jealous of your Cambodia trip! @cheverian87 I'm sorry for your loss. I'm glad your husband was able to make that compromise with his job though. @beff12 crazy dreams can be the worst sometimes. Especially those where when you wake up you know it was a dream but the feeling sticks with you and you just can't shake it. @reneeannemm oooooh sprouts! I get so excited when that starts! I'm planting mine this week. I won't be putting them outside for another few weeks yet, but ready to get the process (and Spring) started. @catiecatp hopefully your body has realigned. Sorry that the search for more information on your dad has reminded you of the things he won't get to see, that's always rough. @amberruka another weird dream, ugh! Thanks for the Eleanore of Acquitiane reminder/reference! @penelope4612 man, what a nosey MIL! @Aera11 I'm so sorry about your selfish friend (though that was great the way you called her out on her inappropriateness) and the other triggers of this weekend. *hugs* @Kay6519 whoop! whoop! to your husband's crook boss quitting! @MissAmeliaPond glad to have you over here now that it's so popping over at TTGP. @nwegman7878 sorry it wasn't this cycle. @mickcole I'm sorry for your loss, but welcome to the board. I hope everything starts lining back up for you, that must be so very frustrating! @NamelessAria I'm sorry you're feeling so down. *hugs* @cjs260 that's a really tough thing to be going through. It's beautiful that you are standing behind and supporting him though it all.
@chloe97 hip hip hooray and congratulations!!!! Sending you a huge happy internet hug!
As for me:
2. Status: WTO, CD 6. But I started temping so I'm happy about that.
3. Rants/Raves: (both) Finished the hard part or the pallet walls this weekend. We still have to attach trim (quarter round) at the edges to finish it, but DF doesn't think it will match with the flooring that we want to put in. He now wants to do an over coat of paint or stain and then distress it by sanding. He's a darn picky fella sometimes. I attached a couple of pics of the walls and the mural going opposite them for the people who asked in the last thread.
4. GTKY: DF and I found each other late in life and having only been together a few years, we feel like we've had to move quickly to check off the todo's on what we view as the typical "dating to marriage to house to children" timeline. With my concerns of getting older, especially now since the loss, we've agreed at DF's urging to focus fully on TTC right now, and not on re-planning the wedding we put on hold. The loss actually brought about some deeper conversations that I hadn't imagined I would have with him and I feel it has brought us closer because of that. I know my body better and so does he now. He constantly communicates to me that he believes that I can still have a beautiful, happy, healthy baby and he makes me believe it.