@mandyjulie yes, we were giving her opinions which she asked for. Which is what I did. I , however , did not add in my opinion... "Please everyone else criticize my opinion."
Anyways, not sure how my advice to @hallgire started a debate on spellings of names. She prefers Brookelyn and my advice to her was go for it. I think it looks pretty. Again, that was my advice to her, not anyone else. If you want to spell your child's name the traditional way then good for you! Not everyone does. And that's perfectly ok.
@ashleighhughesTo be clear, people who prefer "the traditional way" commented before you, and you were debating that with your comment, directly saying that it never bothered you. You're entitled to do so, but then everyone else is entitled to say if we think you're wrong. And that we disagree that the 'e' makes it feminine.
Also, you might have missed OP's comment that the baby's father doesn't like that spelling, even though she does. Hence, she needed opinions and someone will have to compromise.
@mandyjulie this goes 2 ways. Did I mention everyone who commented before me saying they preferred the traditional spelling and say "no, your opinion is wrong" ? Because that's what was done to me. Also, I did read the part that said her DH didn't prefer Brookelyn. Which is why she needed opinions. Which is why I gave her mine?
were having an ordeal settling on the spelling of this little ones name. It's not 100% decided but it is on our short list. We are having trouble spelling it either one of two ways: a) Brookelyn b) Brooklyn Personally I'm more prone to the first version with the E in it, esp when it's shortened to just Brooke. But my mom thinks it's weird and so does LO's dad. Pssssh. What do y'all think?
Please go with the correct spelling. Brooklyn is on the trendy side as it is. And by spelling it incorrectly, I think it will date it all the more. It is also a VERY iconic city that most of the world has heard of...and will think you misspelled.
If I am being completely honest, the first spelling makes it look like you have trouble reading and writing. I know you don't but that's what I think it screams.
The name you chose for a child reflects on your taste and will reflect on your child forever.
Andplusalso, why does spelling something incorrectly "make it more feminine"?
So illiterate is " more feminine "? I think I should be offended by that
I have this old frenemy who always used 'I don't have to be smart because I'm pretty' as her mantra. Her husband told me my Masters degree made me 'unfuckable' (his words). So, yeah, to some people education IS a 'masculine trait'. I lose no sleep over my giant metaphorical testes or the discomfort they cause people.
So I am team traditional spelling, but I will put one thing out on this point: if you are choosing a place name for your child, there is a correct and incorrect way to spell it. It is different than a name that has multiple spellings like Hollie, Holly, etc.
@ashleighhughes Well, you couldn't have called out every person who disagreed with you because there are too many!
Look, you've been on the board a while, no? You are welcome to call others out if you disagree with them. No one was rude or disparaging, but it's common internet forum practice to quote/disagree with people. There are no rules saying people have to just scroll past your opinion. You put it out there, you leave yourself open to dissent.
And about her partner not liking Brookelyn, I'm pointing it out to you because you've repeated multiple times that "if she likes it go for it" or "you do you, girl" as if people in her own real world haven't expressed an opinion that matters. Her preferring it isn't necessarily enough if he partner does not.
Maybe I'm a minority (but doubtful) but I don't think choosing a spelling based on "I think it looks pretty" makes a good defense for a name.
I don't want my child (or anyone's really) to have someone glare at their resume later in life because they're not sure if the person knows how to spell correctly.
I hate when I receive emails from clients or have to go into someone's account at work and it's obvious that they had a typo when inputting their city/street address even if I'm not familiar with the state they live in. It looks awful. It looks worse when I'm not sure if their name is a typo or just bad decision.
@hallgire I am with your husband. I think it is weird. I do not think adding extra letters makes a name feminine. I think it makes it look youneek.
_______________________________________________
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@mandyjulie I could have called out everyone who disagrees with me if I wanted to but that's just it... I didn't want to. I'm not a combative person and feel the need to "call out" everyone who disagrees with me. If someone asks an opinion between A or B and almost everyone chooses A and I choose B- I'm not going to attack everyone that chose A and tell them they are wrong for having that opinion.
100% agree that if she likes one spelling and her DH doesn't like the spelling that she should just go ahead and use it. That's obviously a discussion between her and her hubby. She asked us our opinions on the spelling she liked and I have her mine- that's it.
@mandyjulie I could have called out everyone who disagrees with me if I wanted to but that's just it... I didn't want to. I'm not a combative person and feel the need to "call out" everyone who disagrees with me. If someone asks an opinion between A or B and almost everyone chooses A and I choose B- I'm not going to attack everyone that chose A and tell them they are wrong for having that opinion.
100% agree that if she likes one spelling and her DH doesn't like the spelling that she should just go ahead and use it. That's obviously a discussion between her and her hubby. She asked us our opinions on the spelling she liked and I have her mine- that's it.
@ButterMyBiscuit when someone's opinion differs from mine- no I'm not combative and call them out for it. But when people are calling me out for my opinion- yes, I will defend myself. There's a difference there.
@ashleighhughes see people are chiming in because they remember you. They remember that you were really personally offended when people questioned how you are choosing to spell your child's name. And when they suggested that it wasn't correct, you went off the reservation.
See, even weeks later, people are making judgements based on that choice. People on here are not saying the things they are for their own health. This is how the real world works. People form opinions based on the things you do and how you behave.
Internet or not- wherever you go, there you are. This is a great example of how a misspelled name is going to follow you for the rest of your life like a bad hangover.
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
I am not sure where the mentality that lots of people were attacking or going after you comes from. In looking back... after you posted your opinion, only MrsRo and Nerdchild even quoted you in a response. Only MrsRo directly dissented at that time, and then Nerdchild shared her credit card experience. Biscuit then put up a helpful link on why name spelling matters, and you didn't even see it at first.
After that, you began to get defensive. If you want a conversation to stay completely private between you and OP, send a PM. Otherwise, any opinion, especially an unpopular one, is going to be debated.
@ashleighhughes combative means that you hit things confrontational means you start arguments. You may be both - who knows. But I think your word choice is about as incorrect as your choices for name spellings - also everyone is tired of hearing your opinions...
@mandyjulie if you had several people negating your OPINION.. Would you not feel attacked? She didn't ask for a debate on the name spelling she asked for opinions and we should all be able to give her our opinions without debating each other and saying one is wrong. It's all up to her and her hubby anyways so I'm not sure how our debating is helping her?
I've never seen anyone respond to individual comments at such length on a message board before. Maybe find something else to do? You made your point (too many times), lots of us disagree, move on.
@mandyjulieif you had several people negating your OPINION.. Would you not feel attacked? She didn't ask for a debate on the name spelling she asked for opinions and we should all be able to give her our opinions without debating each other and saying one is wrong. It's all up to her and her hubby anyways so I'm not sure how our debating is helping her?
No, I would consider my opinion the minority and not try to convince people to see things my way. This happens a lot in life, especially in a professional setting, and it helps to accept that your opinion is unpopular with grace and move on.
Anyone who asks for people's opinions on a public forum should expect people to elaborate and give reasoning for their opinions. Last I checked most of us on here like hallgirl and feel comfortable giving her an honest opinion, so no one is attacking her, we are just giving our honest opinions.
@ashleighhughes There are a lot of differing opinions through out this thread. A lot of times a poster is asking if people prefer name a or name b and different people will weigh in on different names. No one takes it personal if someone says they like Justin over James, or whatever. You are the one feeling attacked over people disagreeing with you. She asked for opinions, she got them. The voicing of a preference for traditional spelling had nothing to do with you. Get over it.
@ashleighhughes I've had that happen. Quite a few times, actually. You're not the first, trust.
The negating/debates of your opinion are also just people's OPINIONS. This is how opinions work in a public space. You brought up new points in the conversation, saying the 'e' makes it look feminine to you. Saying that if she likes it, she should go for it. Saying there is no wrong way to spell a name. When you bring up new points in a discussion, yes people will respond.
If every single person had quoted/tagged you saying "I agree!" you wouldn't be upset that people responded to you. But because people disagree you're taking it personally.
My advice: Now you know how the majority of people on this board (and, spoiler, on just about every board) feel about unique name spellings. So if it comes up again, either a. State your opinion, whatever it is, and then ignore any dissenting comments or understand people will keep disagreeing with you or b. Don't add your opinion or PM the OP about it.
@Nerdchild I was giving her my honest opinion too. I don't see why everyone has to attack each other's opinions. I didn't negate anyone else's opinion that differed from mine. @Weville just as well, my voicing of a preference for a non traditional spelling had nothing to do with anyone else.
@ashleighhughes - You didn't get attacked; we disagreed. It didn't start getting nasty until you copped an attitude, which was somewhere around when ButterMyBiscuit mentioned the link she provided. We've all disagreed on here and had opinions that were in the minority. If you're going to comment on a public forum, you have to realize that people may not agree with you.
@Nerdchild I was giving her my honest opinion too. I don't see why everyone has to attack each other's opinions. I didn't negate anyone else's opinion that differed from mine. @Weville just as well, my voicing of a preference for a non traditional spelling had nothing to do with anyone else.
Offering up a differing opinion is not negating or attacking, that's called 'discussion'. It's saying 'Yeah, I see your point, but if you look at it from this perspective you can see how x wouldn't always be true/beneficial'. Or maybe myself, all of my colleagues in research, and every professor I've ever had are all wrong.
@mandyjulie agreed. 100%. I will continue to not voice my opinion on other opinions that differ from mine. But I'll also keep in mind that others don't do that. Even when they @ me saying they disagree with me- I will ignore it. After all- life's too short!
@Nerdchild I 100% agree with you. A discussion would have been fine. But it wasn't a discussion. It was "Nope. Just no." I felt like that was negating/ attacking. But I do agree with you- discussions are fine!
Re: The Names You Want Opinions On Thread
I , however , did not add in my opinion... "Please everyone else criticize my opinion."
Also, you might have missed OP's comment that the baby's father doesn't like that spelling, even though she does. Hence, she needed opinions and someone will have to compromise.
Also, I did read the part that said her DH didn't prefer Brookelyn. Which is why she needed opinions. Which is why I gave her mine?
If I am being completely honest, the first spelling makes it look like you have trouble reading and writing. I know you don't but that's what I think it screams.
The name you chose for a child reflects on your taste and will reflect on your child forever.
July BMB May Signature Challenge
Look, you've been on the board a while, no? You are welcome to call others out if you disagree with them. No one was rude or disparaging, but it's common internet forum practice to quote/disagree with people. There are no rules saying people have to just scroll past your opinion. You put it out there, you leave yourself open to dissent.
And about her partner not liking Brookelyn, I'm pointing it out to you because you've repeated multiple times that "if she likes it go for it" or "you do you, girl" as if people in her own real world haven't expressed an opinion that matters. Her preferring it isn't necessarily enough if he partner does not.
btw- sorry I'm irritating you. That's the beauty of the Internet I'm told!!! You can just ignore it? But you choose not
to so that's on you.
July BMB May Signature Challenge
I don't want my child (or anyone's really) to have someone glare at their resume later in life because they're not sure if the person knows how to spell correctly.
I hate when I receive emails from clients or have to go into someone's account at work and it's obvious that they had a typo when inputting their city/street address even if I'm not familiar with the state they live in. It looks awful. It looks worse when I'm not sure if their name is a typo or just bad decision.
@hallgire I am with your husband. I think it is weird. I do not think adding extra letters makes a name feminine. I think it makes it look youneek.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
100% agree that if she likes one spelling and her DH doesn't like the spelling that she should just go ahead and use it. That's obviously a discussion between her and her hubby. She asked us our opinions on the spelling she liked and I have her mine- that's it.
July BMB May Signature Challenge
July BMB May Signature Challenge
See, even weeks later, people are making judgements based on that choice. People on here are not saying the things they are for their own health. This is how the real world works. People form opinions based on the things you do and how you behave.
Internet or not- wherever you go, there you are. This is a great example of how a misspelled name is going to follow you for the rest of your life like a bad hangover.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
After that, you began to get defensive. If you want a conversation to stay completely private between you and OP, send a PM. Otherwise, any opinion, especially an unpopular one, is going to be debated.
Anyone who asks for people's opinions on a public forum should expect people to elaborate and give reasoning for their opinions. Last I checked most of us on here like hallgirl and feel comfortable giving her an honest opinion, so no one is attacking her, we are just giving our honest opinions.
The negating/debates of your opinion are also just people's OPINIONS. This is how opinions work in a public space. You brought up new points in the conversation, saying the 'e' makes it look feminine to you. Saying that if she likes it, she should go for it. Saying there is no wrong way to spell a name. When you bring up new points in a discussion, yes people will respond.
If every single person had quoted/tagged you saying "I agree!" you wouldn't be upset that people responded to you. But because people disagree you're taking it personally.
My advice: Now you know how the majority of people on this board (and, spoiler, on just about every board) feel about unique name spellings. So if it comes up again, either a. State your opinion, whatever it is, and then ignore any dissenting comments or understand people will keep disagreeing with you or b. Don't add your opinion or PM the OP about it.
@Weville just as well, my voicing of a preference for a non traditional spelling had nothing to do with anyone else.
DD #2: EDD July 2016
I'm sensing a pattern of deflection here.
July BMB May Signature Challenge
I will continue to not voice my opinion on other opinions that differ from mine. But I'll also keep in mind that others don't do that. Even when they @ me saying they disagree with me- I will ignore it. After all- life's too short!
But I do agree with you- discussions are fine!