Since Prim is a graduate and usually was the one to start it, I want to keep this going!
This is a monthly Trying For A Sibling (TFAS) Check in. Babies, pregnancy and other potentially triggering things may be discussed. If you are having a bad TTC day or TTCAL day, please use your best judgment about reading responses. We want to respect all members of our board! What number are you trying for? How old are your other kids?
What cycle/month are you currently TTC?
Questions we can help you with?
GTKY: How did you know you were ready to TFAS?
Me: 26 DH: 29
Married since May 2013
DS born July 2014
TTC#2 since April 2015
BFP on 7/2/2013
Re: March TFAS (Trying for a Sibling) Check In
What cycle/month are you currently TTC? month 12, cycle 9
Questions we can help you with? For those who have potty trained or are potty training, any advice?? I want to get myself prepared and educated. I did some research and tried to get it started for a couple of days last week but I just felt like I failed miserably.
GTKY: How did you know you were ready to TFAS? (Sorry if this question has been asked in the past, btw) I think when AF showed up for a second time after my first postpartum period (it took about 9-10 since I was BFing) and DH and I were both disappointed. I think more recently since it has been taking this long we are really feeling like there is a missing space in our family that we want to fill. Of course our financial situation was another consideration as well
BFP on 7/2/2013
Tw: loss mentioned.
What number are you trying for? How old are your other kids?
#3. Lucy will be 5 this Summer and Violet will be 2 this month.
What cycle/month are you currently TTC?
Cycle 2. Month 4 (since my loss at 12 weeks in November).
Questions we can help you with?
I can't think of anything at the moment!
GTKY: How did you know you were ready to TFAS?
We knew we wanted a third as soon as our second was born. Then she became the MOST difficult baby (awful reflux... She screamed 24/7, poor thing) and we decided we were done with two. Then time went on (and she started to sleep) and we started to imagine ourselves as a family of 5 again. So here we are!
Lucy 07-13-11
Violet 03-13-14
Conceived #3 since September 2015
11-25-15 twelve week loss
07-21-16 ten week loss
10-03-16 5 week loss
TTC again soon!
Lucy 07-13-11
Violet 03-13-14
Conceived #3 since September 2015
11-25-15 twelve week loss
07-21-16 ten week loss
10-03-16 5 week loss
TTC again soon!
What number are you trying for? How old are your other kids? 2
What cycle/month are you currently TTC? 4
Questions we can help you with? Hmm nothing I can think of at the moment.
GTKY: How did you know you were ready to TFAS?
pretty much when our son turned 1 I knew I wanted another. I knew I wanted them close in age and I was already longing for another little one. But DH wasn't ready yet. So we agreed to start trying at Christmas this year. And then we ended up starting TTC a month early in November. DS will be 2 this April so if I get KU now they'll be about 2 1/2 years apart.
TTC#1 - March 2013
BFP 8/9/13 - EDD 4/14/14 - DS born 4/23/14
TTC#2 November 2015
Dx: Secondary IF June 2016
Medicated IUI cycle#1- Clomid+IUI -1/15/17 -BFN
Break Mid 2017 - Resumed TTC December 2018
"She believed she could so she did..."
Medicated IUI cycle#2- Femara 5mg+IUI 12/22/18 - BFP 1/4/19 - MMC 2/1/19
Saline Sono 3/15/19 - All Clear!
Medicated IUI cycle#3- Femara 7.5mg+IUI 3/28/19-BFN
Medicated IUI cycle#4- Femara 5mg+Gonal F 50iu+IUI 4/27/19- BFP 5/11/19 - MMC 6/12/19 - D&C 6/14/19-
Incomplete M/C Repeat D&C - 7/3/19 -Testing concluded baby was genetically normal
Dx: Unexplained RPL July 2019 - Tested + as carrier for Usher Syndrome & Familial Mediterranean Fever
Saline Sono 8/7/19 - Mostly Clear! All systems go for IVF#1
But will need a repeat Saline Sono between ER and FET
IVF #1 - Antagonist Protocol - 8/17/19
ER#1 8/27/19 - 12R, 6F, 4 biopsied+frozen! (3d5blasts + 1d6blast)- 2 PGS normal embabies!
Saline Sono 9/13/19 - All Clear! Onto FET Prep#1
FET#1 - 4AA -10/4/19 - BFP 10/14/19 - EDD - 6/21/20 -Beta#1-10dp5dt- 379 Beta#2-12dp5dt- 1007 Beta#3-14dp5dt- 2844
DD born 6/15/20
What cycle/month are you currently TTC? 4
Questions we can help you with? Anyone go through a really tough PG, delivery, NICU stay? I'm ready to do this, just get nervous some days.
GTKY: How did you know you were ready to TFAS? DS is a little more independent these days. Also, I had some deep emotional scars after my PG with DS. I feel like I'm finally ready to look fear in the face. H has been ready, just waiting on me to feel ready.
@momstahp - we did the 3 day method. DS 'got it' by mid-day on the second day. If for whatever reason you don't like or can't do the 3 day method, underwear UNDER the pull-up seems to work well for a lot of people. Their undies just stay wet and cold on them, versus just a pull-up that will wick it away and they might not care. Its really early to start potty training IMO, though. But, that said, my niece was done before 2. I think boys struggle more than girls. Is he showing signs that he's ready, or are you just thinking ahead?
edited because the damn bump ate half of my post.
@momstahp I have no advice since I haven't done potty training yet but I wish you good luck! Ideally I'd love DS to be out of diapers before we have another but he has shown 0 interest so far and he'll be 2 in April.
TTC#1 - March 2013
BFP 8/9/13 - EDD 4/14/14 - DS born 4/23/14
TTC#2 November 2015
Dx: Secondary IF June 2016
Medicated IUI cycle#1- Clomid+IUI -1/15/17 -BFN
Break Mid 2017 - Resumed TTC December 2018
"She believed she could so she did..."
Medicated IUI cycle#2- Femara 5mg+IUI 12/22/18 - BFP 1/4/19 - MMC 2/1/19
Saline Sono 3/15/19 - All Clear!
Medicated IUI cycle#3- Femara 7.5mg+IUI 3/28/19-BFN
Medicated IUI cycle#4- Femara 5mg+Gonal F 50iu+IUI 4/27/19- BFP 5/11/19 - MMC 6/12/19 - D&C 6/14/19-
Incomplete M/C Repeat D&C - 7/3/19 -Testing concluded baby was genetically normal
Dx: Unexplained RPL July 2019 - Tested + as carrier for Usher Syndrome & Familial Mediterranean Fever
Saline Sono 8/7/19 - Mostly Clear! All systems go for IVF#1
But will need a repeat Saline Sono between ER and FET
IVF #1 - Antagonist Protocol - 8/17/19
ER#1 8/27/19 - 12R, 6F, 4 biopsied+frozen! (3d5blasts + 1d6blast)- 2 PGS normal embabies!
Saline Sono 9/13/19 - All Clear! Onto FET Prep#1
FET#1 - 4AA -10/4/19 - BFP 10/14/19 - EDD - 6/21/20 -Beta#1-10dp5dt- 379 Beta#2-12dp5dt- 1007 Beta#3-14dp5dt- 2844
DD born 6/15/20
What cycle/month are you currently TTC? 2/2
Questions we can help you with? Does anyone else go back and forth about the idea of a second? Some days it's all I want, other days I worry I won't cope.
GTKY: How did you know you were ready to TFAS? Didn't, still don't thing I'm ready, but then DS was a surprise don't think I would've ever had kids if he hadn't come along
DS - January 2014
TTCAL | April 2016
CP | June 2016
CP | July 2016
he just started using the potty in his own one day, completely out of the blue.
DS - January 2014
TTCAL | April 2016
CP | June 2016
CP | July 2016
DD 1 10/2012
CP 9/2013
DD 2 6/2014
CP 3/2016
BFP 12/8/2016
TTC#1 - March 2013
BFP 8/9/13 - EDD 4/14/14 - DS born 4/23/14
TTC#2 November 2015
Dx: Secondary IF June 2016
Medicated IUI cycle#1- Clomid+IUI -1/15/17 -BFN
Break Mid 2017 - Resumed TTC December 2018
"She believed she could so she did..."
Medicated IUI cycle#2- Femara 5mg+IUI 12/22/18 - BFP 1/4/19 - MMC 2/1/19
Saline Sono 3/15/19 - All Clear!
Medicated IUI cycle#3- Femara 7.5mg+IUI 3/28/19-BFN
Medicated IUI cycle#4- Femara 5mg+Gonal F 50iu+IUI 4/27/19- BFP 5/11/19 - MMC 6/12/19 - D&C 6/14/19-
Incomplete M/C Repeat D&C - 7/3/19 -Testing concluded baby was genetically normal
Dx: Unexplained RPL July 2019 - Tested + as carrier for Usher Syndrome & Familial Mediterranean Fever
Saline Sono 8/7/19 - Mostly Clear! All systems go for IVF#1
But will need a repeat Saline Sono between ER and FET
IVF #1 - Antagonist Protocol - 8/17/19
ER#1 8/27/19 - 12R, 6F, 4 biopsied+frozen! (3d5blasts + 1d6blast)- 2 PGS normal embabies!
Saline Sono 9/13/19 - All Clear! Onto FET Prep#1
FET#1 - 4AA -10/4/19 - BFP 10/14/19 - EDD - 6/21/20 -Beta#1-10dp5dt- 379 Beta#2-12dp5dt- 1007 Beta#3-14dp5dt- 2844
DD born 6/15/20
***TW loss***
What cycle/month are you currently TTC? 2/2 TTCAL. TTC #4 since April 2015, miscarried late June. It was a complicated loss. TTA 6 months via Paraguard. Now here.
Questions we can help you with? Not really.
GTKY: How did you know you were ready to TFAS? I went from 95% done after DD (it was my first time SAH... it was WAY more work to me than being active-duty even!) and by the time she was 3, I was maybe only 50% done. By the time she was 4.5 I was maybe only 20% done and 80% wanting another. I gave myself 6 months to see if the baby fever was just temporary. It of course doesn't go away, only amplifies. We are in a really great place financially, have the room, I already SAH, life is really good! The loss only made us more determined. I just needed a little time off to process.
We're trying for #2. DS turned 2 in October.
What cycle/month are you currently TTC?
2/2, but really 1/1 because DS had some performance anxiety last cycle that yielded the POM.
Questions we can help you with?
Nothing right now...
GTKY: How did you know you were ready to TFAS?
I've been ready for 6 months - 1 year, but DH took some convincing. DS is way more independent now, so I feel like the "babydom" is gone. I really didn't want our kids any more than 3 years apart, but we're already past that point. We also started TTC to coincide with good timing for my job...we won't stop trying if we miss that window, but it would be nice if we hit it.
What number are you trying for? 2
How old are your other kids? DS turned 2 in January
What cycle/month are you currently TTC? Month 8, cycle 5
Questions we can help you with?
GTKY: How did you know you were ready to TFAS?
my pregnancy with DS was very complicated- I was in and out of doctors offices, went on hospital bed rest, and he was born prematurely with a rare birth defect. After he was born I lived in the "nope nope never gonna happen nope nope nope" land for about a year, but have had a change of heart and I do want the second child I've always wanted- I'm just not as scared as I used to be, I guess.
What number are you trying for? How old are your other kids? We are trying for #2, DS is 2 and a half
What cycle/month are you currently TTC? 3/3
Questions we can help you with? How are you (if you are) or how will you prepare current LO's for siblings?
GTKY: How did you know you were ready to TFAS? I've been ready since DS was 1 but FI was not. Now he is in a more stable career and we are both approaching mid-30's, I can honestly say we just both knew it was time.
@DiFazette I was very sick for the majority of my pregnancy with DS; delivery was very scary for the both of us as we both almost didn't make it; tho it's scarier for my FI because I don't remember the day i delivered or day after (Failed induction, 9 days late, ultimately had emergency c-section) I would be lying if I said having another doesn't making me nervous but my doctor has stated they don't anticipate same delivery issues and the pregnancy sickness is all worth it In the end. That's what I keep trying to remind myself.
DX Diminished Ovarian Reserve, Factor V Leiden Mutation, Secondary Infertility
MFI (SA #1Count 11mill, Motility: 18%, Morphology: 1%)
AMH .328 | FSH 13.2
What cycle/month are you currently TTC? 7
Questions we can help you with? Nope
GTKY: Trigger Warning- My first two are so close together I knew if I wanted more I wanted them to be close as well. Unfortunately when I miscarried that plan went out the window because it is taking way longer this time around.
K born 8/31/12
C born 1/11/14
BFP #3 Nov 2014: D&C January 2015
BFP #4 Sept 2016: Due May 31 2017
- number 2. Our DD is 2y3m
What cycle/month are you currently TTC?
- Cycle 8/been trying for a year this month. I am on CD 60 today.
GTKY: How did you know you were ready to TFAS?
- I knew I was ready when I had a pregnancy "scare" last year. After I learned that I wasn't pregnant, I was upset. At that moment I knew I desperately wanted another child.
What cycle/month are you currently TTC? 8/7 (but NTNP since May 2015)
Questions we can help you with? Not really.
GTKY: I just didn't feel as if our family was quite complete. @aphillips87, I do wonder as well from time to time if I'm making the right decision... am I really ready to tackle the additional chaos that adding a baby will create? i was able to handle two under two, but 3 (hopefully) 4 and under is going to mean I'm severely outnumbered during the day. It doesn't help that I'm starting to get a bit anxious that it's taking a bit longer than I'd hoped (I'll be 36 in 2 months).
@momstahp, good luck with the potty training!
DH: 36⎹ Me: 36
This is my first time posting in this check-in! Thanks for starting @momstahp! No experience with potty training here, but I'm interested to see what everyone says!
@DiFazette I went through a lot emotionally during my pregnancy with DS (death of my father, moving, DH having emergency surgery + 2 week hospital stay), but thankfully had no major complications. My delivery wasn't awful, but DS was in the NICU for a week for low blood sugar.
What number are you trying for? How old are your other kids? #2, DS will be 2 in a couple weeks.
What cycle/month are you currently TTC? We started NTNP as soon as I got my first PP period (around 3 months), but we didn't really start TTC until about 14 months ago. This month was my first IUI for #2, but today was CD 1
Questions we can help you with? None that I can think of
GTKY: How did you know you were ready to TFAS? We've always known that we wanted 2. Since we needed fertility treatments to conceive DS, we knew that we'd be ready if/when we conceived on our own. It took us a little longer to start with fertility treatments again because it takes so much out of us (emotionally and financially).
Me: Endo, PCOS, septated uterus (mostly removed)
DH: perfect
Started TTC in June 2011
Baby boy born 3/17/2014
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
DD 1 10/2012
CP 9/2013
DD 2 6/2014
CP 3/2016
BFP 12/8/2016
BFP on 7/2/2013
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
BFP on 7/2/2013
What cycle/month are you currently TTC? 8/5
Questions we can help you with? How many days does your children go to 4 year old preschool? Early registration is in a couple weeks and I'm not sure what to sign up for. Right now DS does 3 days with extended day for "enrichment." Basically he gets to play more, craft more, eat lunch at school and swims on Fridays. He likes school a lot. We have the option of 2, 3, or 5 days a week. My thoughts on this are that if I have a baby, DS would be in school so it would help my mom have more time alone with new baby without a rambunctious toddler around so it wouldn't be as overwhelming. So I'm debating on 3 or 5 days.
GTKY: How did you know you were ready to TFAS? I was ready a year before we started trying but we had just moved into our new house and money was flying out the window for all the things you need for a new house (not even frivolous stuff...lame stuff like blinds and washing machine and dryer). Then our dogs got in a fight and one lost her eye from it. So we had huge vet bills from that. Finally DH came around when we paid some stuff off and were in a better place financially.
DS: 5 years old
TTC #2 since August 2015
July 2016: Testing cycle with 100 mg Clomid = BFN
August 2016: 50 mg Clomid + IUI = BFN
October 2016: IVF#1 - 13 retrieved / 12 mature / 9 fertilized / 2 blasts
November 2016: FET#1 = chemical
January 2017: FET#2 = chemical
March 2017: IVF#2 - 18 retrieved / 18 mature / 16 fertilized / 5 blasts
May 24, 2017: FET#4 - BFP! - Beta #1 151 - Beta #2 503 - Due date 2/9/18
What cycle/month are you currently TTC? 9
Questions we can help you with? Anyone TFAS with a large age gap? When we started TTC, I was already concerned because DS might be almost 8 by the time #2 arrived. Now he will be at least 8.5, but probably/possibly even closer to 9. The gap just keeps widening and I worry about what kind of relationship they will have.
GTKY: How did you know you were ready to TFAS? I always knew I wanted more children, it just took a while to find the right man to have them with. We started trying as soon as we were married.
Married: July 2015
BFP: 5/20/16 | EDD: 1/28/17 | Twin boys born 1/16/17
What cycle/month are you currently TTC? 5
Questions we can help you with?
GTKY: How did you know you were ready to TFAS? We both wanted more children in our first marriages.... just not with ex-spouses lol
DS born 3/11
Angel Baby 3 6/28/11 9/5/17 BFP!!
divorced October 2014 9/6/17 hCG 88 progesterone 9.1 (prometrium started)
Married DH 10/15 DH's DS born 6/09 9/8/17 hCG 242!!!
Not preventing since 11/15 EDD 5/8/18 Adjusted 5/15/18
TTC since 1/1/16 9/27/17 we have a heart beat!
https://www.thealphaparent.com/2012/07/what-no-one-tells-you-about-child.html?m=1
- Studies have shown that boys in particular benefit intellectually from a large sibling age gap, particularly if they are the eldest child (Rosenberg and Sutton-Smith).
edit: moved primary linkWhat cycle/month are you currently TTC? 1/1 of actual trying, 5-6 months of NTNP before that.
Questions we can help you with? Not really right now.
GTKY: How did you know you were ready to TFAS? I've wanted another baby for a couple years, but it was getting ready for the process that stopped me initially (TTC, pregnancy - mine are fairly rough, C-section recovery, etc.) DH wanted to start trying when DS #2 turned 3, but I wanted to wait longer. Then DH and I started having issues and almost split. We've worked through everything over the past year and, looking back at it all, I think all those underlying issues needed to come to the surface before I felt comfortable trying again.
Married 07.21.07
DS#1 01.23.09
DS#2 08.01.11
TTC#3 08.31.15
Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 05.16.17
Hysteroscopy 10.04.17 10.05.17
Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 01.10.19
Left tube removed
dx: Endometriosis, Adenomyosis
BC: February-October 2019
TTA: November-December 2019
NTNP: January 2020!
Married 07.21.07
DS#1 01.23.09
DS#2 08.01.11
TTC#3 08.31.15
Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 05.16.17
Hysteroscopy 10.04.17 10.05.17
Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 01.10.19
Left tube removed
dx: Endometriosis, Adenomyosis
BC: February-October 2019
TTA: November-December 2019
NTNP: January 2020!
What number are you trying for? How old are your other kids? we will be trying for #2. DD will be 3 in September. I can't believe she will be 2.5 in a couple weeks!
What cycle/month are you currently TTC? like I said up at the top, we won't be TTC until next month. But, I am off bc now and charting this month.
Questions we can help you with? not this month. Maybe once we actually start trying. I do want to add the potty training thing is so tricky. We tried for a couple weeks at the beginning of January. DD was not into it at all. I just don't think she was ready yet. I am toying with the idea of trying again this month. We will be traveling around though. That is one of the big problems. We are constantly visiting family A LOT, and that is not great for potty training. It might have to wait until after Easter. We move June 1st, and I would love for her to be potty trained at that point. But, I am trying to not put a lot of pressure on it. I will just let her decide when she is ready for the most part.
GTKY: How did you know you were ready to TFAS? I have been ready for almost a year now. When DD was around 18-20 months I felt like I could handle number 2. However, that was not an option for us. DH is just finishing grad school in May and we are moving in with the in-laws for a couple months while we transition to another city, find jobs, etc. Having a baby would NOT have been responsible at all. Starting next month means we will know for sure that DH will graduate in May and it gives us enough time to move, find jobs, get an apartment and save up a tiny bit of money before a baby comes, just in case we are lucky enough to get ktfu the first try. I have also just launched my own birth doula business, and this allows me to become somewhat established before I take off 4-5 months. I always wanted my kids a little closer in age like 2.5-3 years apart. If we get pregnant the very first month it will put DD at 3 years and 4 months. At this point I will just be happy with a baby before she is 4. It makes me a little sad, but when you have an oops baby in college that just comes with the territory.
DH: 30 year old pneumatic electrical engineer
BFP: June 25, 2016 and MC: July 3, 2016
DD2: April 16, 2017
BFP: November 30, 2018 EDD: August 14, 2019
What number are you trying for? How old are your other kids? #2 DD just turned 3 in January
What cycle/month are you currently TTC?
8/8
Questions we can help you with? None that I can think of at the moment
GTKY: How did you know you were ready to TFAS? When DD started to become more independent. Also, DH and I just started to feel like our family was missing something. Plus, DD reminds me every single day that we need a baby
We are trying for #2. Our first born turns 3 this month. Where did my baby go and who is this big kid who doesn't even need Mommy's help to go potty anymore?!
What cycle/month are you currently TTC?
I'm not sure what cycle/month pertains to. Unless it's how long you've been trying? We just had my IUD (Mirena) removed on 02/24/16.
Questions we can help you with?
None yet!
GTKY: How did you know you were ready to TFAS?
I knew I was ready because I didn't want DS to be too much older than his little sibling. So I knew around age 2.5 - 3 I wanted to start trying. Then I knew I wanted a summer baby (and summer maternity photos) so I wanted to start trying when I began having a normal period in September last year. DH wasn't ready so we waited. When we went to the movies for our 14 year anniversary he said he was ready. I called the doctor at 8 AM the next day to make an appointment.
What number are you trying for? How old are your other kids? trying for #2 DD is 10
What cycle/month are you currently TTC? I guess 1/1. Had my mirena pulled 2/22. Currently CD11 after first AF in 7 years.
Questions we can help you with? Not ATM.
GTKY: How did you know you were ready to TFAS? I finished school, got a great job I love and saved some money. DH was ready almost immediately after DD was born, but I took a lot me time to get here.
What cycle/month are you currently TTC? IUD was removed early Oct. 2nd cycle since AF didn't come back til Jan.
Questions we can help you with? Not at the moment
GTKY: How did you know you were ready to TFAS? All along we have always wanted two. I was on board with starting to TFAS sooner because I want them closer in age while DH had to chat with a few people with kids of various gaps before he "felt ready"
Cycle 6 pp
Ds is 13 months, still nurses at night thigh he is drinking cows milk while I am at work
Question: can you die of tiredness??? Ds woke up at 430 and WOULD NOT go back to sleep.
GTKY: we want a ton of kids, but since I'm 30 we figured we will just get a many in as we can before I turn 40
What number are you trying for? How old are your other kids? Trying for #2. Our 1st will be 10 in April.
What cycle/month are you currently TTC? Just had my iud removed yesterday.