Just read this on Scary Mommy...reeeeeally not sure how I feel about it. I get the whole "equality" thing, but I dunno...any thoughts ladies? https://www.scarymommy.com/end-chivalry/
Just read this on Scary Mommy...reeeeeally not sure how I feel about it. I get the whole "equality" thing, but I dunno...any thoughts ladies? https://www.scarymommy.com/end-chivalry/
I kind of like chivalry. At least it seemed like people cared about others then. Now no one cares about anyone but themselves anymore.
Just read this on Scary Mommy...reeeeeally not sure how I feel about it. I get the whole "equality" thing, but I dunno...any thoughts ladies? https://www.scarymommy.com/end-chivalry/
I strongly agree with the author, and I think the key is in "We should not be raising our sons to open doors for girls simply because they lack a Y chromosome. It’s time to impress upon them that everyone deserves our care." Chivalry is kind of bullshit insofar as it implies that women should be the target of a special brand of politeness from men--men don't need the same consideration from anyone, and women don't need to show the same consideration to anyone. The fact that the old men in my building routinely stand back and refuse to get on the elevator until the young women standing 10 feet away get on first has nothing at all to do with care or even respect; it's about a certain kind of manners, in the same vein as not putting your elbows on the table. I think all too often people confuse manners for actual virtues, when in reality they're just (allegedly) evidence of "good breeding."
I think it's much better to teach our sons AND daughters to hold the door for a person with their hands full, to give up their seat on the train to someone on crutches, to offer to carry heavy bags for someone who looks like they're struggling, or to offer to let someone with fewer groceries go ahead of them when they arrive in line at the same time, regardless of the other person's gender. I think its much more valuable to raise children who look for ways to care for the people around them than to raise children who can follow a certain prescribed social script.
Just read this on Scary Mommy...reeeeeally not sure how I feel about it. I get the whole "equality" thing, but I dunno...any thoughts ladies? https://www.scarymommy.com/end-chivalry/
I didn't read the article, but I did read the comments, which pissed me off. There is a difference imo between being treated well, which every woman wants, no matter how independent they are, and being treated like a helpless entity. My fiancé opens doors for me most of the time, and I know it's because he respects me. It's just one of those things he does to show he loves me. Does it happen 100% of the time? No. Would I ever raise a daughter to expect it 100% of the time? No. But how a man treats the women in his life is a huge indicator of how he feels about women in general. My son will be taught from an early age that "you do these things for women so they feel special, because of everything they do in this world to keep it together" and leave it at that.
Just read this on Scary Mommy...reeeeeally not sure how I feel about it. I get the whole "equality" thing, but I dunno...any thoughts ladies? https://www.scarymommy.com/end-chivalry/
I strongly agree with the author, and I think the key is in "We should not be raising our sons to open doors for girls simply because they lack a Y chromosome. It’s time to impress upon them that everyone deserves our care." Chivalry is kind of bullshit insofar as it implies that women should be the target of a special brand of politeness from men--men don't need the same consideration from anyone, and women don't need to show the same consideration to anyone. The fact that the old men in my building routinely stand back and refuse to get on the elevator until the young women standing 10 feet away get on first has nothing at all to do with care or even respect; it's about a certain kind of manners, in the same vein as not putting your elbows on the table. I think all too often people confuse manners for actual virtues, when in reality they're just (allegedly) evidence of "good breeding."
I think it's much better to teach our sons AND daughters to hold the door for a person with their hands full, to give up their seat on the train to someone on crutches, to offer to carry heavy bags for someone who looks like they're struggling, or to offer to let someone with fewer groceries go ahead of them when they arrive in line at the same time, regardless of the other person's gender. I think its much more valuable to raise children who look for ways to care for the people around them than to raise children who can follow a certain prescribed social script.
I will definitely be teaching my kids this. I always open the door for people behind me.
@thaisac1@AmadorRose me three. At one point I thought they were growing but I think my belly bump was just hoisting them up. Everyone keeps on telling me that it'll change once the milk comes in...
Me four! I have a little tenderness occasionally and (tmi) for sure have different-color nips than when I started, but otherwise no size change. My sister had her baby 2 months ago and had zero changes until the baby came and she is a champion breast-feeder so I'm keeping it positive!
Just read this on Scary Mommy...reeeeeally not sure how I feel about it. I get the whole "equality" thing, but I dunno...any thoughts ladies? https://www.scarymommy.com/end-chivalry/
I strongly agree with the author, and I think the key is in "We should not be raising our sons to open doors for girls simply because they lack a Y chromosome. It’s time to impress upon them that everyone deserves our care." Chivalry is kind of bullshit insofar as it implies that women should be the target of a special brand of politeness from men--men don't need the same consideration from anyone, and women don't need to show the same consideration to anyone. The fact that the old men in my building routinely stand back and refuse to get on the elevator until the young women standing 10 feet away get on first has nothing at all to do with care or even respect; it's about a certain kind of manners, in the same vein as not putting your elbows on the table. I think all too often people confuse manners for actual virtues, when in reality they're just (allegedly) evidence of "good breeding."
I think it's much better to teach our sons AND daughters to hold the door for a person with their hands full, to give up their seat on the train to someone on crutches, to offer to carry heavy bags for someone who looks like they're struggling, or to offer to let someone with fewer groceries go ahead of them when they arrive in line at the same time, regardless of the other person's gender. I think its much more valuable to raise children who look for ways to care for the people around them than to raise children who can follow a certain prescribed social script.
I whole-heartedly agree. My husband is a great example of this. He holds the door for whoever is behind us. He gives up a seat on the train for an old man as quickly as he does for an old woman. He lets anyone who comes up behind our full cart with just a few items go ahead of us in line. He's taught me so much about being considerate of others and actually the sex never comes up - it's just an example of kindness and I'm so glad my child will have his great example.
Just read this on Scary Mommy...reeeeeally not sure how I feel about it. I get the whole "equality" thing, but I dunno...any thoughts ladies? https://www.scarymommy.com/end-chivalry/
Did you know that the actual code of chivalry had WAAAAAYYYY more to do with jousting and battlefield behavior than it did on the treatment of women?
That being said, I actually struggled with this when Mike and I started dating. He's a traditional "gentleman" and still opens my car door for me when we go out - not every time, but often. I fought it for about the first six months, but then he explained to me why he would always hold my doors, walk nearer to traffic, and fall a step behind me; not because I can't open my doors, as I obviously can do that myself, but because he doesn't want me to have to do it. He was taught that because the woman (first his mom, now me) both works and takes care of the whole family, making his life significantly easier, it's an easy way for him to show me that he knows how hard I work. He knows I'm tired and he knows I don't want to be out of the house to go watch his stupid movies or go grocery shopping or whatever, and holding doors for me is one small way that he can show me how much he appreciates everything I do for him. It's amusing to go back to where he is from because the culture is much different - women carry the bags and walk behind the men, etc, and they look at us like we're crazy. Where I'm from, you hold the door and give up your seat for other people regardless of sex, which is how I plan to raise LO...but it does make me feel good that even after all this time, he wants to treat me like I'm valuable to him. My last relationship was completely the opposite, so those little things do make me feel good.
I pretty much agree with you guys. I was just saying it seems like the change seems to tend toward treating everyone like shit now instead of treating everyone nice so that seems like a loss.
Just read this on Scary Mommy...reeeeeally not sure how I feel about it. I get the whole "equality" thing, but I dunno...any thoughts ladies? https://www.scarymommy.com/end-chivalry/
Like most of you, I agree with the author although I can think of one instance of where I would contradict myself. If a guy were to ask me out on a first date, I expect him to pay. I know I can pay for my own meal but I don't want to. This might be a UO
Just read this on Scary Mommy...reeeeeally not sure how I feel about it. I get the whole "equality" thing, but I dunno...any thoughts ladies? https://www.scarymommy.com/end-chivalry/
Like most of you, I agree with the author although I can think of one instance of where I would contradict myself. If a guy were to ask me out on a first date, I expect him to pay. I know I can pay for my own meal but I don't want to. This might be a UO
Well isn't the person that asks supposed to pay regardless of sex?
Just read this on Scary Mommy...reeeeeally not sure how I feel about it. I get the whole "equality" thing, but I dunno...any thoughts ladies? https://www.scarymommy.com/end-chivalry/
Like most of you, I agree with the author although I can think of one instance of where I would contradict myself. If a guy were to ask me out on a first date, I expect him to pay. I know I can pay for my own meal but I don't want to. This might be a UO
Well isn't the person that asks supposed to pay regardless of sex?
That has always been my rule. If I ask you, I pay. If you ask me, you pay. The only exception is if you ask me but it turns out you're terrible, in which case I'll gladly pony up half or even all of it, because I don't ever want to see you again and I don't want to run the risk that you're the sort of guy who thinks that paying for dinner entitles you to anything from me.
Has anyone seen the article floating around Facebook about the Starbucks barista who denied a pregnant woman coffee? I would've lost my mind! And what's worse - IMO - is the number of men and childless women in the comments who want to talk badly about a woman who can't give up caffeine for 9 months. I can't take my migraine medication so anyone who wants to deny me caffeine can pry it out of my cold, dead hands. It's seriously astounding how many people think they're experts on pregnancy...like where did you get your medical degree from?
He's such a cutie!!!!! Doesn't look like a potato at all! Congratulations on your sweet little nugget, @blonde151188, and best wishes on a speedy recovery for both of you!
@AmadorRose I hate when people try to police pregnant women on what they should/shouldn't eat! Especially when so much "knowledge" is regional, not scientific. Some cultures don't even allow for drinks with ice during the first trimester!
I used to have a list of "pregnancy foods to avoid" in the kitchen and my husband read it... He began the pregnancy by policing everything I ate. It was probably my fault because the list didn't say WHY they were taboo, or specify that some were worse than others. It was meant to serve as my guide. Once he tried to take a cup of half-caff coffee from me, and I ripped his head off. We haven't had that convo since
@blonde151188 congratulations!!!!!!! Your boy is absolutely adorable! How does it feel to have him in your arms? Wishing a super speedy NICU stay and tons of health!!!
Nights like last night I wonder if I'll ever be able to sleep more than three hours in a row again. Maybe that's something I can look forward to in like August? I woke up around four, and couldn't go back to sleep because I was too tired and started crying. My fiancé woke up, halfway, and rubbed my back for a while til he passed back out. Finally fell asleep again after five, then woke up again a little before eight.
I can not for the life of me fathom how anyone actually enjoys being pregnant.
Don't judge, girl! I have been loving being pregnant! However I will admit I have been lucky, with much lower symptom burden than most. I'm sorry you're having such a struggle, but hang in there, you are in the REAL home stretch! And when that little one arrives you will forget all about the pains and discomforts you had to endure, I'm sure!
Nights like last night I wonder if I'll ever be able to sleep more than three hours in a row again. Maybe that's something I can look forward to in like August? I woke up around four, and couldn't go back to sleep because I was too tired and started crying. My fiancé woke up, halfway, and rubbed my back for a while til he passed back out. Finally fell asleep again after five, then woke up again a little before eight.
I can not for the life of me fathom how anyone actually enjoys being pregnant.
Don't judge, girl! I have been loving being pregnant! However I will admit I have been lucky, with much lower symptom burden than most. I'm sorry you're having such a struggle, but hang in there, you are in the REAL home stretch! And when that little one arrives you will forget all about the pains and discomforts you had to endure, I'm sure!
Tbh most of my issues have been psychological up until this point. Now I'm reaching the waking up from rolling over in pain portion, which is largely just annoying. I have a much healthier respect for all of you still working the next few weeks.
So my SIL was supposed to be induced last night (she's due today)...baby has been head down but they went back to breech She now has to "wait and see (and hope)" that baby goes head down or at least doesn't try and make a break for it on their own since her doctor is out if town until Monday...yikes. Her water broke on her due date with her first and she was a week late with her second...I'm just hoping she avoids an emergency c-section! And maybe she'll have a Leap Day baby...
Re: **The Everything Random Thread for April Mamas**
https://www.scarymommy.com/end-chivalry/
I think it's much better to teach our sons AND daughters to hold the door for a person with their hands full, to give up their seat on the train to someone on crutches, to offer to carry heavy bags for someone who looks like they're struggling, or to offer to let someone with fewer groceries go ahead of them when they arrive in line at the same time, regardless of the other person's gender. I think its much more valuable to raise children who look for ways to care for the people around them than to raise children who can follow a certain prescribed social script.
That being said, I actually struggled with this when Mike and I started dating. He's a traditional "gentleman" and still opens my car door for me when we go out - not every time, but often. I fought it for about the first six months, but then he explained to me why he would always hold my doors, walk nearer to traffic, and fall a step behind me; not because I can't open my doors, as I obviously can do that myself, but because he doesn't want me to have to do it. He was taught that because the woman (first his mom, now me) both works and takes care of the whole family, making his life significantly easier, it's an easy way for him to show me that he knows how hard I work. He knows I'm tired and he knows I don't want to be out of the house to go watch his stupid movies or go grocery shopping or whatever, and holding doors for me is one small way that he can show me how much he appreciates everything I do for him. It's amusing to go back to where he is from because the culture is much different - women carry the bags and walk behind the men, etc, and they look at us like we're crazy. Where I'm from, you hold the door and give up your seat for other people regardless of sex, which is how I plan to raise LO...but it does make me feel good that even after all this time, he wants to treat me like I'm valuable to him. My last relationship was completely the opposite, so those little things do make me feel good.
It's seriously astounding how many people think they're experts on pregnancy...like where did you get your medical degree from?
I used to have a list of "pregnancy foods to avoid" in the kitchen and my husband read it... He began the pregnancy by policing everything I ate. It was probably my fault because the list didn't say WHY they were taboo, or specify that some were worse than others. It was meant to serve as my guide. Once he tried to take a cup of half-caff coffee from me, and I ripped his head off. We haven't had that convo since
oh my days!