Can we have a thread devoted to in laws? Lol

alisongem · February 2016

need to rant-
I'm at my in laws for my SIL 4th bday party. As soon as we got there my SIL tried hitting the baby on the head and throwing a toy at her (she has trisomy 18 and doesn't really know better). So I said I was going to nurse her. My MIL said I could use her room. She follows me into her room and stands there for awhile "talking" to the baby as she's crying to eat. So I pick her up and take my sweater off and MIL finally leaves. Nursing takes us a while because I have to stop and burp her a lot because my let down is too fast for her. My MIL proceeded to walk in on me three times. The first time was an "accident" and the other times was to see if I needed anything to eat or drink... Like... AHH LEAVE ME ALONE! okay sorry rant over! Let's hear your annoying in law stories/rants!

MissMheMhe · February 2016

My MIL just left for a quick visit. She come almost every Saturday, which is sort of annoying b/c I'd like to have a weekend with just my little family. But anyway....every time LO cries it's because 'His belly hurts' or 'He has to poop'. No, crazy lady, it's because he doesn't want to lie flat on your lap and would rather sit up so he can look around. His tummy is fine, thanks! And if I have to hear her tell me one more time how she breast fed my BIL for 1 month before giving him formula with rice cereal because 'he was just growing so fast I couldn't keep up' and just skipped the breast completely with DH...I'm going to pull my hair out!

alisongem · February 2016

@MissMheMhe I feel your pain on the weekend thing! My in laws are divorced and can't be in the same room as eachother... Between them, my parents, and my hubby working some Saturday's we never get family weekend time.
Today when were leaving, MIL wanted to hold her one last time, which was fine, then she said we had to stay longer and I'm like no, we need to get home so when she wakes up I can feed her at home. And she woke LO up and said okay now you can feed her here! I said no I want to feed her at home. When I did finally get her back, the whole time I was getting her in the car seat MIL was saying she doesn't like it in there, she wants to stay here, she doesn't want to leave, etc. and LO wasn't even acting upset about going in the car seat. Like no? Stop? URGGH

MissMheMhe · February 2016

@alisongem...uugggghhh! Mine was going on and on today saying how she wants to hold the baby but doesn't want to wake him up (he was sleeping on my chest after a feeding). But she was practically yelling across the room and woke him up with her loud mouth. So I got up and went into our bedroom until I got him back to sleep...Not today, Woman!

Achae · February 2016

Luckily my mil lives far away although my biggest complaint for her is the smell of smoke on her. It's just gross and I don't want my baby anywhere near it. Granted she makes it seem like she is all about the grand kids yet doesn't make any effort to see them, apparently that is our responsibility to travel with 2 kids. Yeah no.

alisongem · February 2016

@Achae oh thank goodness my MIL doesn't smoke anymore.. But our apt neighbors do and even though the building is supposed to be smoke free they smoke inside anyway. Drives me nuts and gives me a headache!!! My in laws expect us to always come to them too. Like excuse you I have to take my 6 week old out in the freezing winter? No thanks.

rainybabe82 · February 2016

At least your in laws want to be involved in your lo's life. My mil came to the hospital for an hour and left for Florida the next day for 3 months for a vacation and my fil won't meet the baby till July for 1 week then he is traveling the west coast for 2 years.

hannahduff3 · February 2016

My boyfriends mom drives me crazy. She has to control EVERYTHING so she stands over me when I'm changing the baby's diaper and tries to take him from us when he cries. Like no I can handle him just fine. She talks about everyone's parenting behind their backs like she's the best parent in the world. Every time I go over there she practically rips the baby out of my hands and tries to wake him up just so she can get a picture of him with his eyes open. Then he'll start crying and she won't hand him over. Not to mention she has the worlds most annoying baby voice.

ETA Why why wasn't this thread made months ago......

alisongem · February 2016

@rainybabe82 sorry to hear that! Their loss for sure!
@hannahduff3 my MIL talks bad about EVERYONE. I'm so curious as to what she says about me- I can only imagine. Hahaha. And she's super controlling/manipulative. I won't even begin to tell you how much she tried to pull ever since hubby and I started dating (we're highschool sweethearts so we were dating back when we could still get grounded and stuff) lol. And YESS why didn't I make this sooner?! I've needed to vent my entire pregnancy(and long before then, but still)!!!

maureenmce · February 2016

Ugh, I think I have a pretty sad in law situation. My husband's mother has mental issues (borderline personality disorder) and she will randomly cut off contact with her children on a whim. She hasn't spoken to my husband in I wanna say 3-4 years? It's really, really terrible. I've never even met her! We've tried to set up several meetings and she always cancels at the last minute. Ugh. Anyway, his middle sister who is still occasionally in contact with his mother, texted her to let her know about the birth of her first grandchild. She never even texted back! My poor husband cried when his sister told him that.

It's horrible.

And his father is remarried to a terrible woman who also is afraid to fly, so they have decided they won't be meeting the baby at all, unless we travel to them, 2500 miles away. And we would also have to get a hotel instead of stay with them because, according to terrible stepmother, they are "not running a boarding house." So uh, yikes!

Luckily, my mother has been fantastic but it's really sad to think this sweet baby will only have one awesome, loving grandparent in her life. (My father passed away when I was 18, so she's the only grandparent on my side.)

BarrettJ89 · February 2016

Oh, my FIL. I could write a novel. SO was adopted (his dad is from Palestine). He hits every last nerve of mine. He comes over in a plume of smoke (which I'm extremely allergic to and don't want it around my kids), he tries to physically rip my children from my arms (my toddler is terrified of him), he insists on taking pictures of my kids in nothing more than a diaper and sending the pics to his family members overseas that I don't know, he tells me what my kids need and goes against what I say as a parent, makes promises with my stepdaughter without asking us, and so much more. He pretty much completely discredits me as an adult, let alone as a parent. He even had the gall to ask me 2 weeks pp if the next baby was on the way... Mind you, I was already pissed because he showed up uninvited, and was looking through my front window (I have a missing blind) as I was nursing. He never knocks on the front door, he will go up my driveway or into my back yard and knock on random windows. And he complains about my dogs.

Grace213 · February 2016

#1 rule if you wanna see the baby- wash your hands or use hand sanitizer! (Of which I provide a massive bottle sitting on our counter right when you walk in...) MIL knows that if she expects me to hand over DS that she needs to use it! However, she decided to pop over the other night while I was working and when I asked DH why the hand santitizer wasnt out he said he forgot. Which means MIL did not have clean hands while touching my baby. It's effing flu season, people!!!! She has made a comment before when I asked her to use the hand santitizer saying it made her hands cold and smelly and thats why she didnt want to. I do not care.

kaym6 · February 2016

Mine come this weekend, I'm sure I'll be back.

alisongem · February 2016

@Grace213 ah yeah so many people just grab for the baby or tell their kids to kiss her! I'm like no I don't want a sick newborn thanks! Can't wait for flu season to be over so I don't have to worry.

preggoandglowing · February 2016

Totally jumping on this thread from Dec lol!

MIL was over Fri and asked what we wanted to call DD. So I said her first name. Then she said no, I mean like a shorter nickname. I replied no nicknames, and again repeated her first name. MIL says I'll just call her by her middle name because it's shorter. Ugh! Plus it's a bilingual name yet she insists on pronouncing it in English when she clearly can't. More ughhhh!

hannahduff3 · February 2016

I've been at the hospital with LO since last night. Currently his mom keeps trying to come down to the hospital. No I can do this myself leave me alone

mrsnc · February 2016

rainybabe82 said:

At least your in laws want to be involved in your lo's life. My mil came to the hospital for an hour and left for Florida the next day for 3 months for a vacation and my fil won't meet the baby till July for 1 week then he is traveling the west coast for 2 years.

Tell me about it! My FIL lives 15 minutes away and has made zero effort to meet his granddaughter, but always asks for pictures. He'll comment on pictures on fb saying things like "Love my grand baby!" and "what a gorgeous baby!" I just want to scream at him you don't even know her!!!! He just wants to brag to his friends about my daughter but makes no attempt to be a part of her life. I'd vent to my husband about it but as its his father, he gets even more frustrated than I do.

BarrettJ89 · February 2016

@hannahduff3 oh no! Hope LO is alright!

alisongem · February 2016

@preggoandglowing what's your LO's name? I'm curious now!
@hannahduff3 is your baby okay?? What happened??
@mrsnc that would drive me so mad! I've cut a couple people out of my life just because I know they'd be like that.

hannahduff3 · February 2016

He was turning blue/purple yesterday

we're not totally sure what's going on yet but fingers are being pointed at reflux

BarrettJ89 · February 2016

alisongem said:

@preggoandglowing what's your LO's name? I'm curious now!

Glad I'm not the only one! I'm so intrigued by names. So curious!

preggoandglowing · February 2016

BarrettJ89 said:

alisongem said:

@preggoandglowing what's your LO's name? I'm curious now!

Glad I'm not the only one! I'm so intrigued by names. So curious!

Lol! It's Anneliese

KeriannePittman · February 2016

Oh my MIL, she constantly thinks something is wrong with the baby. She asked me to talk to the doctor about his colic, ummmm he's not colicky. My son is super healthy and his only struggle is with gas. But she analyzes everything I eat and tells me to stop eating this or that. Then she told me eat she thinks my milk isn't enough food him. He gained 12 oz in the last two weeks, this kid is growing like a weed. My milk is fine thank you.

Oh and FIL told me he thinks it's gross to BF past 6 months. And both of his boys weren't BF'd at all and they are fine. And both of them tell me at least 3 times a day to sleep when the baby sleeps, I'm getting plenty of sleep and also I'm an adult that doesn't need to be told to go to bed.

Oh that felt great... Good thread!

mrscammack · February 2016

We went to DH's grandmothers the other day for her birthday. She failed to tell us her son was visiting from out of town with his 2 giant rottweilers. within 2 minutes of getting in the house one of the dogs lunges at my husband and tries to bite him, completely unprovoked. So they suggest putting the dogs outside "for 5 minutes to calm down" and bringing them back in. Like sorry but you want me to have 2 100lb dogs, one of whom attempted to bite my husband, around my 2 week old baby? No thanks. DH said they needed to be put in another room or we were leaving so they did that for a few hours then attempted to bring them out again and convince me that the baby would be fine. It takes 2 seconds for something bad to happen and I'm not taking the risk of having strange dogs around my baby, no chance. Like even if one of the dogs is trying to play he could end up seriously hurting her. We ended up leaving and everyone was pissed - ask me if I care. I told DH I am not going over there again any time soon.

littlecrimsonjester · February 2016

My stupid fil ignored our every attempt to tell them we were pregnant, that it was a girl or his invite to the baby shower. Only liking or birth announcement on Facebook. Then he sends a box of clothes and a check with some passive aggressive note about how his brother told him about our daughter. Fuck you! Just fuck you.

MissMheMhe · February 2016

@KeriannePittman, YES! We mentioned to MIL when LO was 3 weeks that we thought he might be starting with colic, but he honestly quickly changed and the signs went away. But now every time we see her she tells us how she told someone else her grandson has colic and they always have a suggestion for her to forward on to us. (She cleans houses and takes care of elderly people so many of these suggestions are way outdated and just wrong). I told DH he needs to tell her to stop telling people he has colic because I don't want to hear about it anymore. He always says he will, but then he forgets....or something.

cali1710 · February 2016

mrsnc said:

rainybabe82 said:

At least your in laws want to be involved in your lo's life. My mil came to the hospital for an hour and left for Florida the next day for 3 months for a vacation and my fil won't meet the baby till July for 1 week then he is traveling the west coast for 2 years.

Tell me about it! My FIL lives 15 minutes away and has made zero effort to meet his granddaughter, but always asks for pictures. He'll comment on pictures on fb saying things like "Love my grand baby!" and "what a gorgeous baby!" I just want to scream at him you don't even know her!!!! He just wants to brag to his friends about my daughter but makes no attempt to be a part of her life. I'd vent to my husband about it but as its his father, he gets even more frustrated than I do.

In the same boat. My FIL is in Asia since beginning of november. And still isnt back. He was supposed to be back the week she was born but keeps post poning his trip. This is his first grandchild and its not like she was a surprise! My husband is obviously angry about it. But wtf. He keep changing his flight date to stay there longer. Grrrr

alisongem · February 2016

@KeriannePittman oh my oh my goodness you're the mother! You can choose what you're eating and how long you can breastfeed. I don't understand how these people even think they have a say in it!
@mrscammack I wish we could keep SIL away like you kept the dogs away for a little bit! I get such bad anxiety when she's around because she's so mean to the baby:( I don't blame you for leaving! They always get pissed when we leave to. MIL would try to stall us even before I was pregnant. It's like go about your own life, let us go about ours!
@littlecrimsonjester wow... I honestly don't even know what to say about that one... How crazy and manipulative of him!
@missmhemhe yup, I didn't tell my in laws anything to do with LOs health even during the pregnancy bc I knew she'd tell everyone any slight problem and try to give me unwanted advice.
@cali1710 @mrsnc @rainybabe82
Even though it's hurtful it might be a blessing in disguise. If they're being that bad without being in the baby's life imagine how they would be in the baby's life. But it still sucks!!

kodariah · February 2016

I think I'll be that person that says I've been pretty lucky with my in laws, the most annoying thing about them is when they are around they want to hold him all the time and I start missing him, haha. They ask me before they do things and respect what I want. I'm so sorry all of you are having to deal with in in laws that are either unsupportive or overbearing. It makes me grateful that my biggest problem is grandparents who just want cuddles.

Trisham1201 · February 2016

This is the best thread ever.

MIL visited for the first time this weekend and could not stop talking about how DH slept through the night by 8 weeks after giving him rice cereal (so I should too), would fall asleep after CIO in his crib because that's the only way babies "exercise" (so I should too), and that she only nursed a handful of times a day for 15 min rather than the cluster feeding that my DS was doing (so apparently I'm spoiling DS because I'm babying him too much). Please keep your BS unhelpful comments to yourself lady.

Oh, she also could not stop talking about how she put DH in his room from day 1 and how it was the best decision ever because it has kept her marriage strong. Well, that's too bad but we want DS in the room with us for at least the first 2 months.

alisongem · February 2016

@Trisham1201 oh that sounds so annoying! I saw this onesie that said "my mom doesn't want your advice" you should totally get it and have LO wear it every time grandma comes over. Lol!

Blueyedsky · February 2016

My in laws are wonderful people. That being said, they have 6 other grandkids and is kind of old news to them now

they haven't come to see LO at all yet and we have to bug them to call or skype. I totally get that they're busy, but priorities people! It took us 5 weeks to get them to talk on the phone long enough to tell them we were having a girl, and I'm afraid that same pattern is just going to continue in our daughters life. She's two months old and they've skyped with us twice on or insistence. Maybe I'm overreacting, but it is such a difference compared to my parents, who are the epitome of doting grandparents even though they live even farther.

Vamason89 · February 2016

My in laws will see our daughter for the first time when she's 2 months. We live 7 hours away. In that time, my mom will have been here three times already. FIL is retired and MIL is a secretary who has plenty of sick/vacation days. To top it off? Only reason they're coming then is because The Who will be playing nearby.

carlyhammond · February 2016

mrscammack said:

We went to DH's grandmothers the other day for her birthday. She failed to tell us her son was visiting from out of town with his 2 giant rottweilers. within 2 minutes of getting in the house one of the dogs lunges at my husband and tries to bite him, completely unprovoked. So they suggest putting the dogs outside "for 5 minutes to calm down" and bringing them back in. Like sorry but you want me to have 2 100lb dogs, one of whom attempted to bite my husband, around my 2 week old baby? No thanks. DH said they needed to be put in another room or we were leaving so they did that for a few hours then attempted to bring them out again and convince me that the baby would be fine. It takes 2 seconds for something bad to happen and I'm not taking the risk of having strange dogs around my baby, no chance. Like even if one of the dogs is trying to play he could end up seriously hurting her. We ended up leaving and everyone was pissed - ask me if I care. I told DH I am not going over there again any time soon.

Related to this:
when I go to my parents house they insist their dog smells the baby when I walk in.
The dog is super chill and I have no issues with him sniffing the baby, but he's getting older and I'm unsure of how he will react now (he is deaf and going blind).
the last time I went to my moms we had the baby on blankets on the floor and the baby fell asleep. The dog came up to the baby and got up on his face trying to sniff the baby, I was very uncomfortable and my mom was all "oh, don't worry. He won't hurt the baby" -eye roll-

kmo8986 · February 2016

My MIL is hurt because we haven't let her watch the baby yet. I am sorry did you learn how to lactate!? At 6 weeks old it is so much easier to take her with us somewhere for a few hours than try to pump and leave a bottle. Not to mention it was about a year and a half before I let her be alone with my son, she is a recovering addict and I don't trust her. We usually only leave my son after he is asleep and only if we are desperate for a sitter.

alisongem · February 2016

@Blueyedsky @Vamason89 wow such opposite problems from mine! My parents are also super doting grandparents. I love it but my hubby doesn't think it's "fair" to his mom. Ugh.
@carlyhammond ooh yeah that would bother me. I absolutely love dogs but I still don't trust them 100% around my LO.
@kmo8986 I would be so irritated! I can't believe people expect new mothers to leave their babies so soon, especially when they're breastfeeding. I've left her with my mom a few times (not for very long) but I trust my mom because she's been taking care of babies since I was born... I could never leave her with anyone else so soon!

GAgirlinSDakota · February 2016

There is so much I can say, but this is not a safe place for me. SO's sister (we hate her) stalked me here and has copied all my inlaw posts from this account and my old one (lost access info) and is threatening to show SO's whole family. Nothing I said is untrue, but most of it was not nice. His family is so screwed up. So much for venting anonymously.

alisongem · February 2016

@GAgirlinSDakota umm id be pissed!! How did she even find you?

GAgirlinSDakota · February 2016

alisongem said:

@GAgirlinSDakota umm id be pissed!! How did she even find you?

I have no idea. I put out very little identifying information or pics. I put out less on my old account. The only way she could know it was me is based on how accurate the inlaw stories are. But that's some serious stalking.

alisongem · February 2016

@GAgirlinSDakota that's so creepy. I feel paranoid now!! Lol. Too bad this isn't a private forum! What did you say to your SIL when you found out?!

GAgirlinSDakota · February 2016

alisongem said:

@GAgirlinSDakota that's so creepy. I feel paranoid now!! Lol. Too bad this isn't a private forum! What did you say to your SIL when you found out?!

I haven't said anything to her, yet. She told SO over fb messages. He told her she was being creepy as fluck and to leave us alone.

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Can we have a thread devoted to in laws? Lol

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