You sound mentally unstable and in a horrible relationship. Close your legs and move on before you have another child you can't care for properly.
Maybe people will disagree with me but other than being with somebody who doesn't have the child's best interests in mind, I think her ability to love and care for her baby isn't really the thing in question here.
@kdoak2015 kind of harsh. You obviously have not been following OP but she doesn't have much control in her life and hasn't said anything that would lead me to think she's not taking care of her baby well.
She stated if she has another baby that she would likely abort or send for adoption, yep I am harsh and likely didn't follow 100% but l believe if someone can even think of doing this after having a LO already it shows what type of person they are. I also never stated she wasn't caring for her child properly. i apologize I think I wrote this in the middle of the night after 3-4 wake ups.
She stated if she has another baby that she would likely abort or send for adoption, yep I am harsh and likely didn't follow 100% but l believe if someone can even think of doing this after having a LO already it shows what type of person they are. I also never stated she wasn't caring for her child properly. i apologize I think I wrote this in the middle of the night after 3-4 wake ups.
Fair but being both pro choice and pro adoption, I don't judge a mother for making tough decisions, especially in a situation like the one she says she's in. I also understand that knowing life is better after leaving an abuser and actually leaving an abuser are two totally different animals.
Even if a mum has 10 kids, if her 11th can't be cared for, it is a noble and amazing thing for that mum to relinquish care to a responsible facility that will pair her up with a new home.
Do I think op needs to practice safe sex right now? Hells to the yes. I think she should practice abstinence right now. I somewhat side eye her having sex with her tormentor and assume she's either being disingenuous or being raped. But you're assuming she needs to close her legs when it sounds more to me like her husband needs to stop pushing her to have sex. Reading between the lines I get the sense that he's pushing this and she feels she has no choice.
It's very frustrating. But I have to assume she's not in control of an awful lot. Abused women are already demonized and second guessed all the time. I will try not to do that until I get a bigger picture. That's all.
She stated if she has another baby that she would likely abort or send for adoption, yep I am harsh and likely didn't follow 100% but l believe if someone can even think of doing this after having a LO already it shows what type of person they are. I also never stated she wasn't caring for her child properly. i apologize I think I wrote this in the middle of the night after 3-4 wake ups.
Actually admitting that she wouldn't be able to look after a new baby is brave and honest of her. She knows herself that she couldn't give the best life to the baby so she's perfectly entitled to make that decision to give the baby to someone who will or to terminate the pregnancy. I actually take my hat off to her for that because all children deserve happiness
She stated if she has another baby that she would likely abort or send for adoption, yep I am harsh and likely didn't follow 100% but l believe if someone can even think of doing this after having a LO already it shows what type of person they are. I also never stated she wasn't caring for her child properly. i apologize I think I wrote this in the middle of the night after 3-4 wake ups.
Fair but being both pro choice and pro adoption, I don't judge a mother for making tough decisions, especially in a situation like the one she says she's in. I also understand that knowing life is better after leaving an abuser and actually leaving an abuser are two totally different animals.
Even if a mum has 10 kids, if her 11th can't be cared for, it is a noble and amazing thing for that mum to relinquish care to a responsible facility that will pair her up with a new home.
Do I think op needs to practice safe sex right now? Hells to the yes. I think she should practice abstinence right now. I somewhat side eye her having sex with her tormentor and assume she's either being disingenuous or being raped. But you're assuming she needs to close her legs when it sounds more to me like her husband needs to stop pushing her to have sex. Reading between the lines I get the sense that he's pushing this and she feels she has no choice.
It's very frustrating. But I have to assume she's not in control of an awful lot. Abused women are already demonized and second guessed all the time. I will try not to do that until I get a bigger picture. That's all.
And also, to be fair, she said she would "have a hard time" aborting or putting up for adoption. I read this as her being worried that she would feel pressured to do this by her gem of a husband.
She stated if she has another baby that she would likely abort or send for adoption, yep I am harsh and likely didn't follow 100% but l believe if someone can even think of doing this after having a LO already it shows what type of person they are. I also never stated she wasn't caring for her child properly.
Actually she said her husband doesn't want any more kids and she would find it difficult to abort or send for adoption... It's unfair to assume she would do it anyways.
Either way ladies this isn't about me or my beliefs. OP needs to get her life together and stop being a victim. There are lots of people that can help her she just needs to reach out to the right ones. If he is such an abuser and is forcing her to do things she can report him(not saying that's the case). I have been very supportive to everyone on this board since day one but I also speak my mind when it comes to something I don't quite believe in.
In my life I try not to be judgmental about things, so I want to empathize with what you're going through. I certainly believe you need to find a way to get away from your husband, but I have a weird feeling that may not be exactly what you want? Please correct me if I am wrong. There are so many women who stay in abusive relationships for whatever reason. My mother was one of those people. And she can't tell me why. I just want you to know that there is always a way out and there is always better for you out there. It sounds like you have a lot going on with your mental health and I hope you are getting appropriate help in that department. But I am wondering if you don't necessarily want out for sure? Again, no judgment I am merely wondering.
Listen, I know I've said this to you before, at least I think it was you, that I was in the most abusive relationship for 3 years. I have bite mark scars, I was brutally beaten to the point of hospitalization, and he controlled my everything. My friends, my finances, my eating habits, and fueled my alcoholism to the point of pancreatitis. But I stayed. I knew I needed a way out, but how?
I I know it's so hard, because if you leave him, he has everything: money, a place to stay, etc. but in a case of abuse, IT DOES GET BETTER WHEN YOU'RE OUT. Please to not ignore these women when we say you need to do what's best not only for you, but for the baby. you need to find resources, because while you're waiting for your mother to help you, there is always lingering danger. So take this time that you're waiting for help from your family to go to church, to your pedi, anywhere to help you. It may seem scary but if you explain the situation, it will all work out. Even if your LO does have issues with GI, someone, anyone other than your husband, will take good care of you.
She stated if she has another baby that she would likely abort or send for adoption, yep I am harsh and likely didn't follow 100% but l believe if someone can even think of doing this after having a LO already it shows what type of person they are. I also never stated she wasn't caring for her child properly. i apologize I think I wrote this in the middle of the night after 3-4 wake ups.
Either way ladies this isn't about me or my beliefs. OP needs to get her life together and stop being a victim. There are lots of people that can help her she just needs to reach out to the right ones. If he is such an abuser and is forcing her to do things she can report him(not saying that's the case). I have been very supportive to everyone on this board since day one but I also speak my mind when it comes to something I don't quite believe in.
You've obviously been lucky to have never been in an abusive relationship. I'm sure OP would LOVE to stop being a victim, and if you think it's easy you should volunteer at a women's shelter and listen to their stories. Everyone's entitled to their opinions but if you haven't got anything nice to say...
She stated if she has another baby that she would likely abort or send for adoption, yep I am harsh and likely didn't follow 100% but l believe if someone can even think of doing this after having a LO already it shows what type of person they are. I also never stated she wasn't caring for her child properly. i apologize I think I wrote this in the middle of the night after 3-4 wake ups.
Either way ladies this isn't about me or my beliefs. OP needs to get her life together and stop being a victim. There are lots of people that can help her she just needs to reach out to the right ones. If he is such an abuser and is forcing her to do things she can report him(not saying that's the case). I have been very supportive to everyone on this board since day one but I also speak my mind when it comes to something I don't quite believe in.
You've obviously been lucky to have never been in an abusive relationship. I'm sure OP would LOVE to stop being a victim, and if you think it's easy you should volunteer at a women's shelter and listen to their stories. Everyone's entitled to their opinions but if you haven't got anything nice to say...
Actually I have been when I was 19-20. I learned a lot from being in an abusive relationship and grew to be a pretty tough person from it. Thanks mom I'll keep my mean thoughts to myself going forward.
Re: OMG freaking out!!!
i apologize I think I wrote this in the middle of the night after 3-4 wake ups.
Even if a mum has 10 kids, if her 11th can't be cared for, it is a noble and amazing thing for that mum to relinquish care to a responsible facility that will pair her up with a new home.
Do I think op needs to practice safe sex right now? Hells to the yes. I think she should practice abstinence right now. I somewhat side eye her having sex with her tormentor and assume she's either being disingenuous or being raped. But you're assuming she needs to close her legs when it sounds more to me like her husband needs to stop pushing her to have sex. Reading between the lines I get the sense that he's pushing this and she feels she has no choice.
It's very frustrating. But I have to assume she's not in control of an awful lot. Abused women are already demonized and second guessed all the time. I will try not to do that until I get a bigger picture. That's all.
I actually take my hat off to her for that because all children deserve happiness
I have been very supportive to everyone on this board since day one but I also speak my mind when it comes to something I don't quite believe in.
I I know it's so hard, because if you leave him, he has everything: money, a place to stay, etc. but in a case of abuse, IT DOES GET BETTER WHEN YOU'RE OUT. Please to not ignore these women when we say you need to do what's best not only for you, but for the baby. you need to find resources, because while you're waiting for your mother to help you, there is always lingering danger. So take this time that you're waiting for help from your family to go to church, to your pedi, anywhere to help you. It may seem scary but if you explain the situation, it will all work out. Even if your LO does have issues with GI, someone, anyone other than your husband, will take good care of you.